Archive - Jan 16, 2009

Tyler Durden's picture

Market Not Sure Why It Is Crashing But Doing So Anyway





In a totally non-schocking response to yesterday's trading action, the S&P has dropped 25 pts from its peak today.

 

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At The Altar: YHOO MSFT Part 2?





Bloomberg, citing the uber-dependant "person", reports that Microsoft's manic-depressive boss Ballmer has met with Yahoo's Chairman Roy Bostock in New York. Preamble to new marriage bells? We will keep you posted.

 

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Layoff Watch: Hertz Laying off 4,000 Workers





Hertz is firing a lot of very bored, airport rental lot operators. The heavily leveraged auto rental company (CDS in the 1250's last time we cared), is hoping firing a third of its workforce (as compared to August 2006) will make it profitable.

 

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Layoff Watch: Hertz Laying off 4,000 Workers





Hertz is firing a lot of very bored, airport rental lot operators. The heavily leveraged auto rental company (CDS in the 1250's last time we cared), is hoping firing a third of its workforce (as compared to August 2006) will make it profitable.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Death Watch: Circuit City Liquidates





Circuit City will not pass go on its way to the garbage heap. Despite rumors that it had found outright buyers for its stores, including such PE companies as Golden Gate Capital and Ricardo Salinas Pliego, Circuit City today filed a notice in bankruptcy court that it has hired liquidators and is unable to reach a pact with creditors.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Death Watch: Circuit City Liquidates





Circuit City will not pass go on its way to the garbage heap. Despite rumors that it had found outright buyers for its stores, including such PE companies as Golden Gate Capital and Ricardo Salinas Pliego, Circuit City today filed a notice in bankruptcy court that it has hired liquidators and is unable to reach a pact with creditors.

 

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Bernierama Zionist Conspiracy? Jewish Billionaires Say No





Mortimer Zuckerman and Michael Steinhard are quoted as saying this whole Madoff ponzi shizzle "shouldn't be considered a Jewish scandal just because there were a large number of Jewish victims".

 

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More On The Secretive Frank and Charlie





Good to see we are on to something. In our breaking expose from Wednesday we presumed that there is more than meets the eye with Frank DiPascali and Charlie Wiener, the other, heretofore secretive Lipstick building 17th floorites.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

More On The Secretive Frank and Charlie





Good to see we are on to something. In our breaking expose from Wednesday we presumed that there is more than meets the eye with Frank DiPascali and Charlie Wiener, the other, heretofore secretive Lipstick building 17th floorites.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Kappa Beta Phi Exposed





A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How the Dow Jones used to make me smile.
And I learned my trade and had my chance
The music played I did my dance
And I made seven figures for a while.
I can't remember if I cried
when they pulled the plug on Countrywide...
It sucks that Iceland is out of ice....
Bye, Bye to my piece of the pie...
Now I travel coach whenever I fly...
Maybe this will be the day that I die.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Kappa Beta Phi Exposed





A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How the Dow Jones used to make me smile.
And I learned my trade and had my chance
The music played I did my dance
And I made seven figures for a while.
I can't remember if I cried
when they pulled the plug on Countrywide...
It sucks that Iceland is out of ice....
Bye, Bye to my piece of the pie...
Now I travel coach whenever I fly...
Maybe this will be the day that I die.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

666 Fifth About to Go To Its Rightful Owner





Looks like the commercial mortgage apocalypse is about to claim its next victim, this time in the form of the appropriately numbered 666 Fifth Avenue building, home to such previously flourishing tenants as

 

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Icahn Making Sure Rust Really Sticks to Steel





As previously reported, Steel Partners is trying to stick it to investors by unilaterally deciding to do a reverse merger something or another, ultimately to prevent investors from redeeming in a pseudo-liquid public vehicle called WebFinancial

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Icahn Making Sure Rust Really Sticks to Steel





As previously reported, Steel Partners is trying to stick it to investors by unilaterally deciding to do a reverse merger something or another, ultimately to prevent investors from redeeming in a pseudo-liquid public vehicle called WebFinancial Co

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Private Equity to Sift For Cement Shoes





The Wall Street Journal reports that HeidelbergCement, whose CDS jumped by about 300 bps since when we wrote about the brewing troubles at the German cement maker, may be bailed out by Goldman Sachs and TPG who are allegedly considering buying

 
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