Archive - 2009 - Story

January 16th

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Bernierama Zionist Conspiracy? Jewish Billionaires Say No





Mortimer Zuckerman and Michael Steinhard are quoted as saying this whole Madoff ponzi shizzle "shouldn't be considered a Jewish scandal just because there were a large number of Jewish victims".

 

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More On The Secretive Frank and Charlie





Good to see we are on to something. In our breaking expose from Wednesday we presumed that there is more than meets the eye with Frank DiPascali and Charlie Wiener, the other, heretofore secretive Lipstick building 17th floorites.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

More On The Secretive Frank and Charlie





Good to see we are on to something. In our breaking expose from Wednesday we presumed that there is more than meets the eye with Frank DiPascali and Charlie Wiener, the other, heretofore secretive Lipstick building 17th floorites.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Kappa Beta Phi Exposed





A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How the Dow Jones used to make me smile.
And I learned my trade and had my chance
The music played I did my dance
And I made seven figures for a while.
I can't remember if I cried
when they pulled the plug on Countrywide...
It sucks that Iceland is out of ice....
Bye, Bye to my piece of the pie...
Now I travel coach whenever I fly...
Maybe this will be the day that I die.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Kappa Beta Phi Exposed





A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How the Dow Jones used to make me smile.
And I learned my trade and had my chance
The music played I did my dance
And I made seven figures for a while.
I can't remember if I cried
when they pulled the plug on Countrywide...
It sucks that Iceland is out of ice....
Bye, Bye to my piece of the pie...
Now I travel coach whenever I fly...
Maybe this will be the day that I die.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

666 Fifth About to Go To Its Rightful Owner





Looks like the commercial mortgage apocalypse is about to claim its next victim, this time in the form of the appropriately numbered 666 Fifth Avenue building, home to such previously flourishing tenants as

 

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Icahn Making Sure Rust Really Sticks to Steel





As previously reported, Steel Partners is trying to stick it to investors by unilaterally deciding to do a reverse merger something or another, ultimately to prevent investors from redeeming in a pseudo-liquid public vehicle called WebFinancial

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Icahn Making Sure Rust Really Sticks to Steel





As previously reported, Steel Partners is trying to stick it to investors by unilaterally deciding to do a reverse merger something or another, ultimately to prevent investors from redeeming in a pseudo-liquid public vehicle called WebFinancial Co

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Private Equity to Sift For Cement Shoes





The Wall Street Journal reports that HeidelbergCement, whose CDS jumped by about 300 bps since when we wrote about the brewing troubles at the German cement maker, may be bailed out by Goldman Sachs and TPG who are allegedly considering buying

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Private Equity to Sift For Cement Shoes





The Wall Street Journal reports that HeidelbergCement, whose CDS jumped by about 300 bps since when we wrote about the brewing troubles at the German cement maker, may be bailed out by Goldman Sachs and TPG who are allegedly considering buying

 

January 15th

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Allocations of $825 Billion Stimulus Package Disclosed





A Bill introduced today by House Democrats, highlights the $825 billion stimulus plan that is supposed to lead America out of its current deplorable state.

 

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Banc of America Moving Earnings Date to Coincide with Citi





The previously scheduled January 20 conference call is being pulled to January 16 Friday bright and early at 7am. Ken Lewis undoubtedly has many good news he cant wait to share. At least it is not at same time as Citi (8am), or one would think one is trying to hide behind the other... which is simply ludicrous

 

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Death Watch Update: Smurfit Demise Rumors Exaggerated





According to debtwire, Smurfit Stone DID in fact make a payment on its 7,375% Notes. If you sold today, don't forget to reload tomorrow.

 

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Breaking News: US Airways Plane Has Crash-Landed in Hudson River





Apparently the plane is an Airbus 320 flying from LaGuardia to Charlotte, NC. The plane is semi-submerged in the Hudson River and is "slowly sinking". According to the US Airways website this is flight 1549. Media reports there were 148 passengers and 6 crew members onboard when the plane crash-landed into the river. The plane struck a flock of geese on take off. The crash occurred off of 50th street in Manhattan.

 

Tyler Durden's picture

Death Watch Update: Fried Green Tomatoes Fried





Death Watch candidate, greenhouse tomato producer and employer of illegal immigrants, Eurofresh Farms, does not disappoint.

 
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