Archive - 2009 - Story
January 11th
Count Vikula Mid-Term Grade in Accounting Alchemy: A+
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2009 02:17 -0500Count Vikula Mid-Term Grade in Accounting Alchemy: A+
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/12/2009 02:17 -0500January 11th
Ackman and Burkle Agree to Disagree over America's Illiteracy Trends
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/11/2009 23:00 -0500
Even as Barnes and Noble posts a scary -7.7% comp store number for the "holiday" period, two major holders play hot potato with a big chunk of the retailer's equity.
Titanium Looking Kinda Rusty Too
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/11/2009 22:22 -0500People suffering from a morbid obsession with titanium dioxide and its principal producer, Tronox Inc., are frantically clicking refresh on Pacer to see the moment the company files for Chapter 11 in Southern District of NY on this cold evening. Reuters cites sources that the filing should come any moment.
Steel Partners in Need of Serious Rust Removal
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/11/2009 18:41 -0500
Steel Partners, the fund of activist investor and up-to-now wunderkind manager Warren Lichtenstein, has fallen for some tough times.
Investing Was The Beginning, Now It's Moved Out Of The Basement, It's Called Project Mayhem
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/11/2009 18:04 -0500
And Mayhem it is, as investors are running for the hills, unwilling to find out who the next Madoff turns out to be, and end up stuck with a big fat donut. According to an analysis done by Hedgebay, a secondary hedge fund interest market maker, the average dollar invested in hedge funds traded for an all time low of 87 cents as of November (waiting for December numbers with baited breath).
There Can Be Only One!!!
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/11/2009 15:56 -0500We all know about West vs. East, 2-Pac vs. Notorious B.I.G., LA vs NY, etc... How does this express itself in the HF community where most managers are either grads of Steinberg-Dietrich Hall (that Huntsman hall phallic monstrosity will never take the place of the brick facade that Saul Steinberg's Reliance renovated with a whole pile of hard-earned, scandal-free dollars) or ex-Yale Lacrosse players, yet where on occasion you may find the odd Westsider... And they can be quite floral....
Survival of the Gatest
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/11/2009 02:31 -0500Well the 2008 hsbc numbers are out. In a year that one would be shocked there were any winners at all (except for Paulson of course... Paulson could make money on Pluto, blind, limbs chopped off, without oxygen, a bloomberg terminal or his copy of Dow 100,000: Fact or Fiction), here are the funds that will shortly need to raise all gates once investors realize these are likely the only places where money can still be redeemed:
I Am The Retarded Plebs' Smirking Revenge
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/11/2009 00:57 -0500
Just as our funny-speaking cousins 3 hours east of us (via Concorde; probably more like 15 hours if using one of American Airlines' retrofitted B-707 with almost two wings and a fully operational engine, and that includes the 8 hour unairconditioned tarmac wait at JFK and Heathrow) thought that the Waxman witch trials would be confined to the likes of Jim
January 10th
Timmmmmmmaaaayyyyyy.... reincarnated
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/10/2009 18:40 -0500
Yep folks, the man, the myth, the my-mom-does-my laundry womanizer may be gone (only temporarily - you can't get rid of Tim Sykes... something about weeds or cockroaches), but his spirit lives on. Just click here: http://www.greenwichtime.com/ci_11421481
Friday Night Rumor: MGM Selling Mirage to Penn Natl
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/10/2009 01:23 -0500
After losing his shirt, bifocals, and the backup tire of his Jeep Cherokee by assuming that Ford and GM are actually competitive in the global car market, Kirk Kerkorian is allegedly selling one of his prize jewels on the LV strip: the MGM Mirage.
Citi Lives the Telecom Dream as Nortel is About to Wake
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/10/2009 00:21 -0500January 9th
...But Can Lose Even More Weight By Walking There
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/09/2009 22:38 -0500
Is Business Week merely slapping the faces of all those investors who in recent weeks bought a slew of follow-on stock issued by airline companies (probably the only companies raising capital in the past few months as $35 barrel/oi
Bulumics Can Not Save Fake Sugar from Chapter 11
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/09/2009 22:06 -0500
If only sugar free meant debt free... In sweet vindication for fat people everywhere, Merisant today filed for bankruptcy. The maker of Equal and Canderel fake sugar sought Chapter 11 protection. The Pegasus Capital portfolio company (hm...





