Archive - 2014 - Story

Moments ago The Hill reported that what many thought was absolutely impossible, may in fact become a reality: President Obama is considering issuing an executive order (#394,039,993,837?) to raise the minimum wage for Federal Workers... and in the process - with the help of that other central planner par excellence Bern-ellen - lap all those other Banana republics that everyone so enjoys making fun of.

Remember when banks were exposed manipulating virtually everything except precious metals, because obviously nobody ever manipulates the price of gold and silver? After all, the biggest "conspiracy theory" of all is that crazy gold bugs blame every move against them on some vile manipulator. It may be time to shift yet another conspiracy "theory" into the "fact" bin, thanks to Elke Koenig, the president of Germany's top financial regulator, Bafin, which apparently is not as corrupt, complicit and clueless as its US equivalent, and who said that in addition to currency rates, manipulation of precious metals "is worse than the Libor-rigging scandal." Hear that Bart Chilton and friends from the CFTC?

The infamous 'scourge on insider-traders everywhere' Preet Bharara has taken a day off from Wall Street duties to focus on what could be considerably more of a concern. The NY Attorney General just disclosed that  Daniel Wilson - the Chemistry Manager at the Indian Point Nuclear Power plant - falsified and fabricated test results for diesel fuel contamination used to power emergency generators.. in order that the plant would not have to be shut down. Have no fear though US public... especially those who live near White Plains, Bharara's punishment for this potentially disastrous 'deliberate misconduct' - a $500 fine and 18 months probation. Well that will teach him, eh?

Forensic Asia, a Hong-Kong-based reserch firm issued a "sell" recommendation on HSBC on the basis of "questionable assets" on its balance sheet. As The Telegraph reports the analysts involved actually worked at HSBC for 15 years and suggest the ginat bank could have overstated its assets by more than £50bn and ultimately need a capital injection of close to £70bn before the end of this decade. "HSBC has not made the necessary adjustments, during the quantitative easing reprieve...The result has been extreme earnings overstatement, causing HSBC to become one of the largest practitioners of capital forebearance globally... This charade appears to be ending."

You really can't make this shit up. From the funniest person on financial comedy TV (whose most memorable TV appearance will always be roaring that Bear Stearns is fine days before its collapse), here is his "opinion" on Best Sell Buy, entirely in his own words.

Nature is full of unpleasant parasites which cause their hosts to engage in irrational, destructive, or even suicidal behavior. Of course, they exist for humans too... especially for investors. In fact probably the number one parasite which affects investors is a very peculiar emotion: fear. Specifically, it’s the fear of missing out that drives so much irrational investment behavior. Nobody wants to miss a big boom, no matter how baseless the fundamentals. Ironically, this fear of missing out is stronger than the fear of loss. Following the crowd is a great way to lose a lot of money.

The theme of both the robot-ization of the global workforce and the populist desire for a hike in the minimum wage have been popular and ongoing ones here at Zero Hedge. However, never has it been more clear just where the future lies than this chart from BofAML's Michael Hartnett... As he says, "we are long robots, and short human beings."

Equity markets were stumbling lower into the close of the US day session and volume was picking up... the powers that be clearly decided that was not to be allowed and the NASDAQ needed to close green (as we noted previously). JPY was not going to help as overnight volatility had reduced carry games so... slam dat VIX was the game. While not much in nominal size, the 0.3 vols smackdown in VIX starting at 1550ET lifted the S&P 3.5 points to close at the afternoon highs, Trannies up 0.3%! (and helped NASDAQ green and new highs)... But, seconds later (as INTC and AXP earnings disappointed), the entire ramp - and more - was dissolved before S&P futures closed. Ah, the efficient markets...

While victory was declared yesterday, today was a let-down for the exuberant. High beta (NASDAQ and Russell) pushed on but the S&P, Dow, and Trannies slid leaving the NASDAQ YTD best performer (+1%) and the S&P back into the red for 2014. Financials underperformed, Utilities outperformed. Treasuries rallied all day - with the long-end underperforming and a notable flattening across the curve (30Y -2bps on the week, 5Y +2bps). The USD had a quiet day as JPY strengthened modestly (hence the weakness in the S&P) as overnight AUD weakness (poor jobs data) left that carry pair alone in the dark. VIX and credit markets have been notable underperformers relative to stocks in the last 2 days. Commodities were quiet all day with some early downside pressure in the precious metals unwound (leaving then down 0.5% on the week). Of course, it wouldn't be the US equity market without the ubiquitous VIX slam attempt to ignite momentum and get the S&P green - it failed for once!

There is a reason why activism was the best performing hedge fund "strategy" of 2013: as we wrote and predicted back in November 2012 in "Where The Levered Corporate "Cash On The Sidelines" Is Truly Going", US corporations - susceptible to soothing and not so soothing (ahem Icahn) suggestions by major shareholders - would lever to the hilt with cheap debt and use it all not for CapEx and growth, but for short-term shareholder gratification such as buybacks and dividends. A year later we found just how accurate this prediction would be when as we reported ten days ago US corporations invested a whopping half a trillion in buying back their stock, incidentally at all time high prices. Putting aside the stupidity of this action for corporate IRRs, if not for activist hedge fund P&Ls, another finding has emerged, one that was also predicted back in 2012. Because in addition to still soaring mountains of cash, corporations have quietly amassed even greater mountains... of debt. In fact, as SocGen reveals, net debt, or total debt less cash, has risen to a new all time high, and is now 15% higher than it was at its prior peak just before the financial crisis!

Argentina is not Venezuela... yet. Following Maduro's comments yesterday capping Venezuelan profit margins and making black-market FX transactions practically punishable by death (our exaggeration), the Argentine Peso is collapsing...

*ARGENTINE PESO FALLS 2.9% IN BLACK MARKET TO RECORD 11.55/USD (Spot is 6.77 - implying a 41% devaluation!

Of course, this is great news for stocks and the MERVAL is surging once again towards all-time record highs (+130% from the beginning of 2013). No news on toilet paper shortages (yet) in Argentina.

While economists are raising their forecasts for 2014, there seems to be little change in the real underlying fundamentals. Much has been made of the modest uptick in NFIB optimism last month, but small businesshope remains 6 points below pre-recession average levels; and as Bill Dunkleberg notes so succinctly: "The President thinks the way to address the malaise in the economy is to give another $26 billion to the long-term unemployed, shown to produce new jobs by 'independent economists' (we know who that is) according to the President. If you borrow $26 billion from China and give it to consumers, it probably does have a positive impact, but does nothing to fix the economy or encourage labor force participation or improve the labor force." It is quite apparent from both individuals and businesses that the government is the real issue that is impeding economic progress.  Maybe it's time that the current Administration did a little less talking and did a little more listening to what the real drivers of the economy are saying.

While funding custom-fit condoms was stretching the government's buck just a little too far for some, the following 5 stunning expenses, earmarks, and pork spending that Bloomberg uncovered are mind-blowing. From over $500,000 on pet shampoo to what to eat on planet Mars; none of these compare with the back-pay for no work paid to Federal employees during the shutdown. Watch this 72 seconds of gluttony without throwing something at your monitor...

After the Chinese news/rumors that pummeled NU Skin the last 2 days, the company has finally been forced to make a statement...

*NU SKIN AWARE CHINESE REGS INITIATED INVESTIGATIONS
*NU SKIN SAYS LIKELY NEGATIVE EFFECT ON CHINA REV
*NU SKIN HAS STARTED OWN PROVINCE-BY-PROVINCE BUSINESS REVIEW

After being halted on news pending, NUS was re-halted upon re-opening, plunged further, and is now re-halted down $45 (39%. Herbalife (down 12%) and USANA (down 12%) are also tumbling on this news.

"The "common sense" justifications for these dramatic moves are now well documented. The Federal Reserve (Fed) model, which compares earnings yields on the S&P 500 Index (the inverse of price/earnings) with the Treasury yield, clearly signals to load up on stocks. Common sense also tells us that profit margins are at an all-time high, so clearly it's a good time to be buying stocks. Yellen's dovish background, common sense tells us, is yet further reason to expect continued loose monetary policy and accommodation. And, finally, common sense dictates that recent upward gross domestic product (GOP) revisions, lower unemployment numbers, and a successful holiday retail season, means that of course it's time to load up on stocks. Here's the problem: We don't buy the common sense. And so, like the philosopher boy above, we choose to ignore it. We suggest you do the same, but for good reason."