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Charlie Lets Zero Intelligence Have It

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Less than three hours after saying this "I generally don't respond to people who don't matter on Wall Street" you come out with this:

Not even sure you deserve a response to this, as apparently you have completely missed our prodding which had nothing to do with you being on Goldman's pay and everything with you doing the responsible journalistic thing, i.e., asking the tough questions which you purport you did, instead of being fed the party line. We appreciate the other side of the story: we can get that from Goldman's press releases and 8K's - you are supposed to read between the lines and find out what it is in the story that your new friends at 85 Broad are not telling you. But if by now you have not realized what your job as a journalist entails, it would be a folly for Zero Hedge to try to educate you at this late stage in your career.

Instead, as everyone knows the true nature of CNBC's journalism, which is namely to sell advertising space, we would simply like to present one piece of data that you, your producer, and your parent company General Electric may be most interested in.

As to the veracity of your, or Zero Hedge's claims, well, the audience is the best arbiter of that.

Good day.

PS. Maria (oh wait, whispering in my ear says your name is) Michelle, please give us a mailing address: we will dispatch a copy of Fight Club to you post haste, for free. It is a travesty to have your producer whisper in your ear just who this pseudonymous Tyler Durden is.

 

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Wed, 07/22/2009 - 19:47 | 12417 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Charlie, Charlie. You are the Banana King Charlie. The Banana King!

Shun the none-believers, shunnnnn

Some twisted humor. TD is this what you were thinking off when you titled the article? =D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5im0Ssyyus

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 19:55 | 12422 Jeanbon
Jeanbon's picture

Let's get ready to rumble with this absolute useless Crusty Gaspi The Clown.

Most of the time, I think, this guy is on heroin, crack or pcp, or something very

nasty. This CNBC Program is such a clown show, that it is time to kick ass, and I

fear, that even after the Jon Stewart showed on TV, that CNBC is absolute crap,

people still watch this usless TV program... Mr. Rick Santely are you listening?

 

Hey you stupid home owners, are you listening? This is CNBC, the smartest Show on

earth, where you can make a million, provided you started with a billion...

 

CNBC, smart money!!! 

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 20:04 | 12435 Ich bin ein whatever
Ich bin ein whatever's picture

"The term 'moronic blogger' is redundant." --Michelle Caruso-Cabrera.

When used to refer to anyone on CNBC, "On Air Talent" is a contradiction in terms.

Michelle Caruso-Cabrera is no exception.

Actually, I think if anyone should refer to any of their stable as having "talent", that person should be taken to the nearest facility for help.  They definitely need the good drugs.

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 20:15 | 12446 Jeanbon
Jeanbon's picture

Yes, definitely, my last thoughts on this:

Drug Tests for Mr. Krusty Charly Gasparino the Clown, 

and for Boby P. from the NYSE floor as well, published

on National TV by an independent FED Lab.  :-) just to 

make sure that these people are out of their minds when

ever they open their mouth.

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 21:04 | 12484 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Oh Mr. Durbin, what does it take to get a little respect around here from Charlie in Charge?

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 21:11 | 12489 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Zero Hedge...more like...Zero Intelligence...more like...stupid hedge......niner...

What kind of name is Tyler Durden anyway? I bet that is not even your real picture either...Hey Tyler, how about I call you Tyler Durbin...get it?

Paging Mr. Durbin, Mr. Durbin to the front desk...

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 23:09 | 12567 Comrade de Chaos
Comrade de Chaos's picture

one intern

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 00:33 | 12600 Socrates
Socrates's picture

Your diaper is wet. I suggest changing it along with polishing up your resume. That you were told by your bankrupt corporation to post here merely tells all just how desperately you need the coming depression to be avoided.

 

Socrates

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 21:18 | 12493 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Man, you got burned, with him mentioning the name of your blog on CNBC! He showed you, all right! Now thousands more CNBC watchers will take a peek and see how stupid you are and how smart CNBC is! Score one for Charlie and CNBC!

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 21:34 | 12508 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

The dumb bitch at the end FINALLY realizes its from Fight Club (Probably had it whispered in her ear).

Where does CNBC get these people?

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 21:41 | 12514 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Great Stuff!

I rarely see CNBC but Zero Hedge is a daily must read.

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 21:53 | 12522 TomG
TomG's picture

Fun, fun, fun, 'til daddy takes the T-Bird away.

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 22:09 | 12541 nopat
nopat's picture

NOW ALL HEAR YE, PROPHET NOPAT DOTH SPEAK FROM THE FUUUTUUUUREE....

 

...you will officially see the end of Wall Street as we know it when Zero Hedge and 4chan merge into one viral meme-spouting anonymous superpower.  And the world will tremble beneath the power they weild.

 

Seriously folks, I think we're in the middle of it....

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 22:12 | 12542 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

cnbc owned!

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 22:25 | 12546 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

CNBC has been pwned over and over again, not to mention their parent company is nearly insolvent and unfortunately for them GE's stock price is still deep in the tank and won't ever recover.

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 23:00 | 12560 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

MCC and Charlie remind me of the clueless, friendless kid on the playground. Some 'cool' kids are laughing at a joke, the friendless kid comes over and starts to laugh to feel part of the group. There is a pause, an awkward silence, and several strained glances until the friendless kid walks away.

That's what the clip reminded me of. Hee-hee...haaa-haaa..hee..uuuuuhhhhhh...

Keep up the good work TD & Co. The google trend graphs tell the whole picture!

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 23:09 | 12565 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

CNBC is the wet fart between the buttcheeks of the financial system.

Wed, 07/22/2009 - 23:20 | 12573 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

. . . getting God’s attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God’s hate is better than His indifference. If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? . . . Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption.

Palahniuk, Fight Club, 1999, p. 141

 

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 00:30 | 12597 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

When oh when will that witch nosed, black haired dominatrix go back to her full time job of being a hair dresser for young Goth children?

If you wish to become a financial moron just watch this show. Except for the credit watch guy in the morning these people couldn't be employed by even the government.

Socrates

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 00:48 | 12602 Profit Prophet
Profit Prophet's picture

LOL!  I love the new Zero Hedge/Intelligence

banner!  However, after the new heading it should

read: "On a long enough timeline, the IQ for

every CNBC correspondent drops to zero."

 

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 11:52 | 12835 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

I think it actually starts at zero.

I am Chumbawamba.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 01:41 | 12622 make it stop
make it stop's picture

Are you sure charlie wasn't offering a free plug?  CNBC may have rules against fight club. 

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 06:20 | 12658 agrotera
agrotera's picture

hmmm...Charlie G, controlled opposition?  One thing is for sure, ZH is getting named by more and more on the CNBC network--those not chiming in keep some self respect.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 02:49 | 12637 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

After they tried to shake off the Daily Show/Cramer fiasco, they failed. Now ZH?

I think you get more market insight from watching Hong Kong Phooey!!

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 02:51 | 12638 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Apocalypse Now- Zero Intelligence? Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men that men who've ever lived. I see all this potential. And I see it squandered. Damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place we have no great war. No great depression (scratch that). Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives (and our economy). We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we would all be millionaires, movie gods and rock stars, but we won't. We're slowly learning that fact. and we're very very pissed off.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 05:06 | 12652 jubber
jubber's picture

Just thought I would sign up and lend my support.

Youself and the likes of Denniger are the only people who are trying to get these chumps at CNBC to do some decent journalism.

It's a shame as the UK version is very good and practically unbiased, the American version is frankly a joke, with the obvious exception of Santelli.

How the  idiots like Kneale, Liesman, Cramer, etc are still on air is just beyond me.

Well done for calling these clowns out for what they are.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 10:39 | 12785 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

And I believe Karl has upped the ante by coining a phrase and noting the redundancy inherent in the phrase "moronic media".

http://market-ticker.org/archives/1254-Moronic-Media-Is-Redundant.html

 

And it does not get any more polite after that in true KD form- he he

 

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 06:24 | 12660 erich
erich's picture

Charlie is repeating what has been stated so many times here, Goldman has gotten government subsidies.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 06:41 | 12665 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Zerohedge has truly made it. Congrats Tyler. The more they talk about you the better the reach. CNBC is nothing but simple carbs...

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 06:43 | 12668 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

oh man. That guy pronounced it noom de plum.
Someone get this guy muzzy. Je suis la jeune vie!

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 07:07 | 12674 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Charlie Gasparino and Michelle Caruso-Cabrerra are so ancient and uninformed they have no idea how powerful blogs have become and they have no idea that virtually everyone on Wall Street considers CNBC a complete joke as far as journalism goes. The only people that take them seriously are midwest soccer moms who tune in for a couple minutes a day so they can feel like they're keeping up with current events. These guys are the most pathetic kind of tools, the kind that don't even realize what they are.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 08:00 | 12686 FischerBlack
FischerBlack's picture

MCC's 'moronic bloggers' comment should set her up for complete and undying vilification across the blogosphere. She didn't discriminate in suggesting all bloggers are moronic. Her contempt for this new medium of journalism is palpable and she just drew a huge bullseye on her chest.

Or maybe that was just some big old pancake-sized areolae?

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 09:06 | 12706 agrotera
agrotera's picture

Did anyone else get grossed out when MCC and DK seemed to be having love sparks flying between them when they were helping on Power Lunch a few months back--OK, YUCK.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 09:28 | 12722 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Hey Gasbag, what's that smell? ha ha ha

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 11:34 | 12821 Hondo
Hondo's picture

Market Ticker bashes "Tout TV" today.  Most of the people on their are complete idiots that wouldn't know a market if it hit them in the face.  They want people to believe that they have a secrete.....they do...how to make you lose your money faster than anybody else.  Why anybody still watches this idiots I'll never understand when you could actually be doing something more productive.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 12:46 | 12896 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

I am one of those that have contributed to CNBC's reduced traffic. I just got sick of watching the constant Keynesian Koolaid on the Obamanomics Channel.

My trading has leaped as a result! Turn OFF CNBC -- for your own good!

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 13:39 | 12969 RobotTrader
RobotTrader's picture

They are on CNBC again.....right now.

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 13:42 | 12974 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Charlie was just on with the "Real men use their real names" line...I miss Billy Mays - the most honest man to ever grace the CNBC!

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 13:45 | 12984 lindros
lindros's picture

would you please bury that loudmouth Gasparino once and for all!!!

Thu, 07/23/2009 - 15:12 | 13107 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

What do you EXPECT Goldman to say, Charlie? "Yeah, duh, we're blowing bubbles in the biggest Ponzi scheme yet!"

Sun, 07/26/2009 - 08:04 | 15436 Anonymous
Anonymous's picture

Goldman is buying the market up. The sign that that they are about to reverse their bet was already given when they 'forecast' that the S&P will go above 1,000. If Goldman says you must buy they are actually looking for someone to offload to. Don't play into their hands!!!

Mon, 07/27/2009 - 08:22 | 15823 alphajuice
alphajuice's picture

i have a wonderful quote tool used for CNBC, it is a piece of construction paper that I cut and tape to the TV with only the quotes at the top, bottom , and lower right of the screen showing !!!  everyone without bloomberg or Reuters must have one!  also of course the mute button is also manditory! I will upload a picture some other day I have time to figure out how....

Mon, 08/10/2009 - 19:08 | 32227 rahbii
rahbii's picture

I had to watch this again just for the laugh. 

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!