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E*Trade Baby Turns Momo, Blows It All

Tyler Durden's picture
Submitted by Tyler Durden on 04/15/2011 15:08 -0400



The dark side of giving babies full discretionary stock/CDS/option HFT-eligible trading accounts.

h/t Joe Saluzzi

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Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:11 | Link to Comment WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

BABY BABY BABY ATE MY 8BALL!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:42 | Link to Comment Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

models and bottles...baby bottles

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:11 | Link to Comment TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

This was Lenny Dykstra.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:22 | Link to Comment Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

+1

Lenny Dykstra... HAHAHAHA!

 

Duhhh, me not very smart but look at my Maybach, trading easy for dummy like me, duhhhh whats a bubble?  I like watching his success story video, pre-collapse on youtube.

great video.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 22:30 | Link to Comment Freddie
Freddie's picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8-TU3vxrYM

Even Cramer said Lenny is great in the video.

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 19:02 | Link to Comment ZackAttack
ZackAttack's picture

Silly Lenny; a Martingale only works if you're the Fed.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:29 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Lenny! Alas, we hardly knew ye.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:47 | Link to Comment camoes
camoes's picture

Oops, just heard on CNBS he got arrested! Poor baby!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:14 | Link to Comment treemagnet
treemagnet's picture

reminds me of cramer in '08.  (fuck it, sell! sell! sell!)

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:14 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

If you're the HFT house that's using baby E*Trade as a baby powder scented butt wipe, you just made some (more) jingle for the jeans.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:26 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

E-Trade baby get's introduced to South Park ... LOOOOOOL

http://youtu.be/4TlPo0yCSa4

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:36 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

And it's gone.

The guy's good. It usually takes me several quarters to lose all the money. :>)

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:41 | Link to Comment Miles Kendig
Miles Kendig's picture

heh .. It doesn't take that long for this brotha when all that's left is a full faith & credit BenBuck and my last silver dollar. :D

http://youtu.be/0Kb2x0D584c

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 22:00 | Link to Comment blindman
blindman's picture

good one!  i seen this act before.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:15 | Link to Comment oogs66
oogs66's picture

ROFL!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:15 | Link to Comment X. Kurt OSis
X. Kurt OSis's picture

It's so cute cuz he's a baby.... wook at teh wittle baby getting squided.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:21 | Link to Comment bob_dabolina
bob_dabolina's picture

Is that a Lehman Brothers quant?

-AIG Quant

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:19 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Its RoboTrader!!!  :D

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:26 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

flag as awesome (1)

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:46 | Link to Comment d00daa
d00daa's picture

I'm still laughing.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:06 | Link to Comment Thisson
Thisson's picture

It does partially explain his breast fetish...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:14 | Link to Comment EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Boo Yaa!  SheepDog-One!  Love Junk coming at you!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:22 | Link to Comment Undecided
Undecided's picture

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Obama-Raise-debt-ceiling-or-apf-1093379033.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=2&asset=&ccode=

As predicted

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:28 | Link to Comment SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

WTF, I thought just 2 days ago Obama confirmed the future had been won? What, only if debt ceilings are made of rice paper?

<:D

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:15 | Link to Comment EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

plastic rice paper

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 08:37 | Link to Comment FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

At dinner last night my wife, kids and I voted to raise our debt ceiling to ten million dollars, we will advise our credit card companies of the decision on Monday. 

"Party on Wayne, party on Garth."

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:20 | Link to Comment camoes
camoes's picture

I wish I could buy CDS on my etrade account...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:07 | Link to Comment Thisson
Thisson's picture

You can buy CEBOs!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:14 | Link to Comment ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Sure thing! When you will be funding the first $MM ?

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:22 | Link to Comment SemperFord
SemperFord's picture

Funniest thing I have seen in a while, baby should have done the opposite of Goldman.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:21 | Link to Comment UnRealized Reality
UnRealized Reality's picture

LMFAOROTF

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:24 | Link to Comment Deluxe186
Deluxe186's picture

lolz

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:23 | Link to Comment Undecided
Undecided's picture

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Obama-Raise-debt-ceiling-or-apf-1093379033.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=2&asset=&ccode=

as predicted

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:28 | Link to Comment barliman
barliman's picture

 

"Most people think it's funny if you dress a stuntman up as a little old lady, put him in a wheel chair and roll him down a hill face first into a wall. A comedian thinks its funny if it is a real little old lady."    Carl Reiner

Cute, but I am waiting until the HFT and quants are making street pizza out of themselves before I am really amused.

barliman

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 08:37 | Link to Comment FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

"Jump You Fuckers!" by Gene Burnett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yge311sFhC8

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:32 | Link to Comment sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

That is so totally cute!  thanks for the laugh

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:36 | Link to Comment treemagnet
treemagnet's picture

Now I recognize him....he's that intern at the Fed - I knew I knew him.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:38 | Link to Comment Undecided
Undecided's picture

sticky finger...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:46 | Link to Comment malusDiaz
malusDiaz's picture

Washing Machine = JPM Earnings Model

Silver Shorts = Brick

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIIgy7KzE5I

 

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 18:51 | Link to Comment NumberNone
NumberNone's picture

They had an SEC baby commercial lined up but found that an overweight baby, half asleep watching porn the entire commercial was too much for most viewers.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:52 | Link to Comment alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

this was...BEAUTIFUL!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:58 | Link to Comment mt paul
mt paul's picture

best laugh of the day.. 

zooms in on baby 

trying to crawl back up 

 a vagina ...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 15:56 | Link to Comment Hugh_Jorgan
Hugh_Jorgan's picture

Nah, this is a vid of baby Turbo-Tax Tim before his daddy bought his acceptance to Dartmouth.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:00 | Link to Comment cabernet
cabernet's picture

Hope this goes viral!

http://www.TheAngryGrapes.Com

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:01 | Link to Comment SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

I will never understand the "Jackass" generation's obsession with puking.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:09 | Link to Comment sbenard
sbenard's picture

That's how we're ALL going to feel if we don't take our debt more seriously! A debt debacle is a certainty if we continue this path much longer!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:08 | Link to Comment AldoHux_IV
AldoHux_IV's picture

Is that Jack Black's voice?

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:16 | Link to Comment tmosley
tmosley's picture

Ahhh, College Humor.  I love those guys.  Specifically this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMEe7JqBgvg

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:09 | Link to Comment EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

Hahaha... I remember when someone posted this as a response to a HarryW. post.  Never gets old!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:32 | Link to Comment Dirt Rat
Dirt Rat's picture

I'm fond of their Anti-Kant Campaign. You go to college to understand who's bringing you the message with no need of the sponsor introducing himself.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:22 | Link to Comment Natasha Fatale
Natasha Fatale's picture

Fantastic

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:27 | Link to Comment mt paul
mt paul's picture

no silver thread 

just spiked a dime to 42.93 $

high of the day..

heck 31 year high ..

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:41 | Link to Comment Ganja Jane
Ganja Jane's picture

ROFLMAO: I needed that!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:39 | Link to Comment equity_momo
equity_momo's picture

That is funny.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:51 | Link to Comment TideFighter
TideFighter's picture

Etrade causes SIDS.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 16:52 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

I wonder if this little (ASCOT) will lease me a (Star Gate)?

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:03 | Link to Comment EvlTheCat
EvlTheCat's picture

LMFAOFF

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:06 | Link to Comment Cthonic
Cthonic's picture

He won't be turning to online poker; pokers stars, absolute poker, and full tilt served today.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 20:04 | Link to Comment nowhereman
nowhereman's picture

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/42614092/ns/sports-other_sports/

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 17:16 | Link to Comment gordengeko
gordengeko's picture

Nice! Where do they come up with this.lol

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 18:35 | Link to Comment KickIce
KickIce's picture

And only 64 years to retirement...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 18:44 | Link to Comment hannah
hannah's picture

9 months ago he was convicted of insider trading.....really inside if you get me, nudge nudge

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 20:14 | Link to Comment DizzySailor
DizzySailor's picture

This is soooooooooo true!!  I was logged on during the flash crash and could not book a trade long or short to save my ass.  I'm still laughing at the irony of this and would NEVER trust E-Trade to act in a crisis.

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 20:44 | Link to Comment treemagnet
treemagnet's picture

I was online with my broker watching my VIX shares take off like a homesick angel - the pain, the incredulous, awe strucked panic and denial in his voice still makes me smile.  We don't talk much anymore - he's a permabull and when asked about anything - anything ZH sheds light on, he's fucking clueless - doesn't know and doesn't care cause markets going up.....and thats good, right?!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 21:09 | Link to Comment pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

Thanks!   I needed the humor after doing my taxes and seeing the fed and the state say I owe them more money...I'm tired of this shit!

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 21:16 | Link to Comment SuperRay
SuperRay's picture

HAH! Maybe he was irradiated in his first trimester and lost the power to understand that GS HTF will take his mother's milk from him...you're an indentured servant now, dude, and you should have it all paid back by the time you're 85...

Fri, 04/15/2011 - 21:46 | Link to Comment penisouraus erecti
penisouraus erecti's picture

I love those E*Trade baby commercials - always crack me up - even this one.

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 11:33 | Link to Comment Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

vomit for effect

Sat, 04/16/2011 - 15:20 | Link to Comment Audacity17
Audacity17's picture

A german quant checks the correlations....

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbcctWbC8Q0

Sat, 04/23/2011 - 22:57 | Link to Comment FluffyCone
FluffyCone's picture

Dang, someone killed the video... What can I download a copy?

Mon, 05/02/2011 - 15:12 | Link to Comment DoodoolTala
DoodoolTala's picture

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6477219/remix-e-trade-baby-loses-everything

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!