This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Your Chance To Own A Tiny 3" Piece Of Hank Paulson

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 02/25/2011 20:28 -0400

As if adding insult to injury each and every day with wave after wave of POMO, even as the criminals on Wall Street continue to go about their business, collecting record bonuses, without even the remotest threat of prosecution, wasn't enough the US Mint is now openly micturating in the face of what little is left of US middle class with the issuance of the "Peregrine" Paulson (3 inches) bronze medal. That's right: starting today, everyone can own a tiny 3 inch piece of Hank: the same man who in October 2008 barged into congress with a three page proposal demanding Congress give him supreme dictatorial powers over this country, and to dispense an uncapped amount of money in rescuing his former company and anyone else he saw fit. The description of the reverse: " The image of the peregrine falcon
represents Secretary Paulson’s commitment to conservation and his
long-time interest in birds of prey." Wouldn't it be more fitting to find a creature celebrating Hank's commitment to fraud, communism, bail outs, and the Goldman way? We eagerly await William Banzai's take on the Silver Vampire Squid Paulson coin which, if we find an appropriate dealer, we would be happy to sell directly to readers (if there is any physical silver remaining of course). Failing that a coin showing Blythe Masters on the front and Gary Gensler on the back would be a perfect substitute.

Of course, we jest: after the crackdown when everyone using the internet, parchment or ink is thrown in jail, who won't want to have a pallid bust of Paulson just above their chamber door...

- advertisements -

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:01 | 999103 palmereldritch

Both sides have to be either heads or tails. Two different designs..lol

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:17 | 999450 wandstrasse

in germany you can buy playing cards with the greatest scourges of mankind: http://www.weltquartett.de/ The same in coins please. the paulson coin is a good start!

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:11 | 999117 benb

This is how the game is played. Paulson commemorated on a Fed coin. The criminals are writing the history. The school kids, in the government training centers will be taught the lie.

I would prefer a coin with one side commemorating Paulson’s trial for high treason and the other depicting his public hanging.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:20 | 999131 zhandax

You know, fairness in all things....threatening TARP on the obverse and his hanging on the reverse. What d'ya think?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:39 | 999161 dexter_morgan

nice

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:29 | 999238 benb

I like it. Maybe a series would be best. I’d also like to see an image struck of Paulson in the Capital Men’s washroom propped against the wall about to faint (As was reported) during a break in his lying testimony to Congress.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:45 | 999168 penisouraus erecti

A 3 inch piece of Paulson, whats that his dick?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 01:57 | 999187 TheGoodDoctor

Dude, see jokes above. Then abide.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:09 | 999654 penisouraus erecti

Sorry, sort these newest to oldest.

The dude abides.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 20:29 | 1000607 TheGoodDoctor

Hmmm I didn't even know one could do that. I'll have to look into it.

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 03:22 | 1001268 dexter_morgan

Scroll all the way to bottom, and just above the comment section is viewing option. Enjoy.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:11 | 999207 williambanzai7

I am thinking they should do a full TARPISTAN set. ;-)

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:32 | 999456 Lazarus Long

the other day i wrote on one of your post about disagreeing about the the use of pitchforks. I have changed my mind. you are right this people truly believe the are above the law. This is nothing more than an a roman emperor putting his face on a coin .

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:19 | 999223 Rodent Freikorps

The cold, merciless eyes of a bird of prey.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:33 | 999246 SilverRhino

Hank Paulson award made of base metals? How appropiate.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:42 | 999263 Tric

I didn't read the comments, but I did a quick ctrl+f for the keywords "revisionism" and "propaganda" and found no matches.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 03:14 | 999296 Rodent Freikorps

It is government. Wouldn't that be redundant, and repetitive...and stuff?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 02:58 | 999283 almost_have_a_name

For WB:

The obverse design features a portrait of Secretary Paulson with the inscriptions "Second to last Secretary of the Treasury and Henry M. Paulson, Jr."

The reverse depicts a peregrine falcon in the center, taking a dump on America, the seal of the Department of the Theft on the left, the Great Con of the United States on the right and the Department of Theft Building in the background with the date DEC 23, 1913 inscribed above.

The image of the peregrine falcon represents Secretary Paulson’s commitment to the Department of Theft and it's pledge 'Print from above, prey down below'

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 04:33 | 999335 Heavy

Ok, normally I thrive on the insanity when the forces of the world push me in that direction, but, seriously here, I think that just broke something in my brain, I heard it go. Where's my fucking pitchfork... I've been watching millions of people protest/riot/claim self governance for weeks now, maybe hearing about this paulson coin in the midst of the other was akin to white hot steel hitting cold water, that could break a brain, or temper it...

I'll eat his brain and heart in an attempt to destroy the evil once and for all!...then I'll eat some falcons, since he'll be dead I guess that one's just for me. Sorry falcons.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 05:02 | 999355 hidingfromhelis

On a long enough timeline, the value of the metal in the coin will be worth more than the face value of the coin as the survival rate of the currency drops to zero. In this case, it's the purchase price, even at $42 for bronze. Thanks to assholes like Hank (GS for life, bitch!) Paulson and his co-conspirators at the Fed.

By the way, does his fluffer Neil Kashkari even get honorable mention?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 05:21 | 999366 gwar5

That must be the new global currency. Doubles as a wanted poster.

Excellent must read post I came across: Kitco - Commentaries - Jim Willie CB

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 05:55 | 999378 huggy_in_london

Is this some sort of sick, fucked up joke?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 06:10 | 999384 props2009

Charts: EURO possitive and Yen negative

http://dawnwires.com/investment-news/charts-and-analysis-us-treasury-yen...

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:19 | 999417 anony

Once again, thank you for recidivising the names of Hank Paulson and in the thread, Kashkari. These two unindicted co-conspirators need to be kept in the public eye like the names of, Ted Bundy, Tim McVey, Jack the Ripper, Frankenstein, and other monsters.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:34 | 999422 Aengrod

Thats a fucking joke.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:40 | 999429 Rodent Freikorps

Sign of the times. The Beast is getting arrogant.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:39 | 999427 toros

I failed english literature (I was reading my copy of "Our National Debt" The Committee on Public Debt Policy, 1949 Harcourt, Brace and co.), this is satire right?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:41 | 999430 Sudden Debt

Bummer it's not a silver medal...

It would have made a very cool centerpiece if it was on my collection :)

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 07:46 | 999435 Rodent Freikorps

I'm curious. Does Europe regret Obama yet?

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:07 | 999447 f16hoser

Fuck Paulson. Sure wish he would get run-over by a school bus. Him and Cheney are wasting perfectly good O2.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:07 | 999448 whoopsing

I think the engraver forgot to depict semen spouting out the top of hank's head

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:44 | 999706 serotonindumptruck

+ $42 for descriptive imagery.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:38 | 999460 Lazarus Long

when Doolittle attacked japan after pearl harbour he attached the friendship medals the Japaneses gave us to the bombs. after hank is tried for treason and high crimes these coins should be placed in his pockets for weight.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 08:53 | 999468 nohweh

Just like to add by two bob's worth from downunder-well said Tyler-excellent comments

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:19 | 999482 savagegoose

why not a vulture, king of carrion.,

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 10:04 | 999530 Withdrawn Sanction

Because a vulture at least has the courtesy to wait til you're dead before feasting. A falcon, however, is a cold-blooded killer...just like Hanky. Birds of feather ...

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 11:47 | 999637 savagegoose

ahh i get it bag snatcher on pension day wearing a suit.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 09:56 | 999522 jimijon

42$ And you guys are complaining about me wanting $44 for a pure silver troy ounce?!

www.mundogold.com

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 10:31 | 999554 Webutante

Actually far as I'm concerned, this is ranker than rank. Above and beyond his shenanigans at Goldman and Treasury, there's another piece of the puzzle that's often overlooked:

Paulson's spinmeisters would have us all believe he's a supreme lover of wildlife and savior of wild places. Sure there's always a little truth there. But the larger one is that while his wife Wendy, a bird watcher, got involved in New York state's Nature Conservancy, it was only years later that Hank had a born again conservation experience.

Anyone know what it was? And what he did about it?

well, sometime around the turn of the new century, the Goldman Squid got wind of carbon trading and the idea of trading carbon credits as the new global currency. Hank, of course, knew our fiat currency was in a nose dive to oblivion so why not get Goldman far ahead of the curve for trading a new currence-- carbon, and position him and it to make trillions on the global warming/climate change frenzy that he saw coming?

Hank with Goldman established the carbon trading exchange in Chicago with such illuminati as Al-gorithm..... then, THEN, he made his next move towards being a big time conservationist: He bought his way into the national Nature Conservancy with large personal and corporate contributions in the millions. Told the board he wanted to get involved and within minutes was elected to the National Board of Governors (of which I was a member for a decade before his time) and several minutes later, Hank was enthroned as chairman of the Board of TNC.

In essence faster than a speeding bullet, Hank and Goldman took over the most prestigious, wealthy business conservation organization in the world.

But why? Well, Hank swooped into TNC because he saw its value not so much in terms of flora and fauna and ecosystems, but in terms of carbon offsets or credits as currency. As chairman of TNC's board he would have privileged infomation 24/7/365 where the most valuable carbon-offsets in the form of wetlands, forests, jungles all over the world. And once he located these, he would link his and Goldman's other carbon ventures with this goldmine of carbon credits at TNC.

Pretty brillant.

When Bush appointed Paulson Treasury Secretary, he reluctantly stepped down and off TNC's board, but have no fear, he wasn't about to loosen his stranglehold on his new conservation 'love interest'.... as Hank went to Treasury to wreck havoc on the economy, he enthroned his Goldman protege, Mark Tercek, as president of the organization. Tercek is still there.

It's been hard for me to watch an organization I've been involved with for decades---but no longer am---become so entwined with Goldman and the federal government. It now talks the talk and walks the walk of falling completely for man-made global warming....because like Hank and Goldman, TNC stands to profit wildly....if only global warming and mandatory carbon trading were taken more seriously....

And now, you know some of the rest of the story.....

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 11:25 | 999610 tallystick

psssssst little secret hehe

The list of Hank Paulson coin purchasers is forwarded to IRS for automatic audit exemptions.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:07 | 999653 P-K4

Additional details regarding the commemorative medal and other programs.

- The medal is bronze clad over wood and manufactured in China, but nicely packaged in USA. Each purchase will help offset the national debt by one quadrillionth of a cent.

- next in the series is the Goldman "Terd" with the obverse depicting a roll of toliet tissue unravelling with the words "In Taxpayers We Trash"

The Build America progam will be expanded to include manhole covers with the likeness of "Bubbles Ben" on the cover. They will be manufactured using real US dollars and glues for bonding strength, to prevent the theft of valuable metal.

To improve air quality and as a token of gratitude for selfish contributions to society, the EPA will distribute new environmentally-safe urinal cakes with pictures of the CEO's from the largest Wall Street Firms whose bonuses were paid by the taxpayers.

There is talk of a presidential token inscribed with the words "Yes, We Canned Jobs" and "Win the Future ...buy a Lotto Ticket" made of recycled congressional bills that were not read.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:29 | 999677 BobPaulson

I could hollow out the middle with one of these:

www.borchers.es/idb/productos/rem_slugger_hv_gene.jpg

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:34 | 999688 John Wilmot

Hmmm...I wonder who they'll put on the soon-to-be reissued $1000 bill?

Bernanke seems the logical choice.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 12:54 | 999717 Flakmeister

Give credit where credit is due.... Reagan

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 13:56 | 1001755 Flakmeister

Wow.... it is pretty clear that this one flew over everyones head...

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 14:09 | 1001780 GoingLoonie

No, most people still are not aware of what he did-despite the movie which is pretty accurate.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 17:40 | 1000369 Gold 36000

I bet that a lot of people would buy a commemorative coin of the squid on one side and Hank Paulson "trickling down" on Americans on the other side.

A limited run of 1000 coins wholesale for three bucks each. You could easily sell them all for tenbucks each. Hank is a public figure and cannot sue for libel.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 21:26 | 1000674 mick_richfield

If anybody stamps that animal's face on a piece of silver, I'm leaving this planet and telling my masters that it's time to release the virus.

The proper commemorative medal for this Paulson-animal is gold-plated tungsten.

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 22:11 | 1000782 laosuwan

no, the real insult will come when obama is pictured on your 1000 dollar bill

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 11:59 | 1001598 Zero Govt

How about a banana? ...it's probably all a $1,000 bill will purchase in the Benbabwe Republic by 2012

Sat, 02/26/2011 - 23:41 | 1000983 Hook Line and S...

The coin is coated with plutonium, which will provide the owner the same sick feeling they had when we bailed him and his degenerate cohorts out the first time.

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 01:55 | 1001162 PulauHantu29

Isn't he doing "God's work" also?

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 12:58 | 1001667 PeterSchump

I'm getting one of these for my office, really. I think I will put him in between the busts I have of Ponzi and King Ludgwig II, though that might be unfair to the two chaps.

Sun, 02/27/2011 - 14:21 | 1001798 GoingLoonie

I will never forget the night Henry Paulson shut down the free market at 2 AM in the morning as we slept. He then declared that those of us that were short were just criminals and proceeded to steal our funds. This man stuck a knife in the back of freedom, freemarkets and everything the US once was.

Your Chance To Own A Tiny 3" Piece Of Hank Paulson

Comment viewing options