IBM numbers in a nutshell: Revenue dropped by 11.9% to $19.6 billion; Net Income dropped by 2.4% to $2.3 billion...
And yet... GAAP EPS rose by 2.6% to $2.36!
Here's the accounting magic behind this "beat"
The past six years have transformed my disposition toward the markets from excitement to frustration to despair to disillusionment to sheer tedium.
In America’s fraudulent oligarch economy in which corruption and theft have become the preferred means to earn money, it’s no surprise doctors feel a need to participate. “Mr. Rorie was recruiting homeless people, prosecutors said, ...after hours of unnecessary tests and fake diagnoses, the homeless people would be sent off with sneakers - selected from stacks of shoeboxes in the clinics’ basements... "We can use the same patients like guinea pigs for anything we want,” Mr. Vainer was recorded saying in a government wiretap." Do no harm indeed.
Herbalife stock is up over 5% after hours after WSJ reports Bill Ackman (among others) made false statement about Herbalife's business models to regulators - in order to spur investigations into the company and lower its stock price. This comes just months after Ackman kinda-sorta-didn't-really insider-trade in the Allergan 'scam' that we detailed here. We suspect Whitney Tilson (and his Lumber Liquidators positions) is getting a little nervous now... and Carl Icahn is quietly laughing to himself.
The rich get richer and stock buybacks; the poor get poorer and pink slips. Rinse. Repeat.
Ukraine 'Peace' Talks In Tatters: Defiant Putin "Won't Tolerate Unipolar World"; Hollande Proposes "Strong Autonomy" For Rebel RegionSubmitted by Tyler Durden on 02/07/2015 15:00 -0400
Just as the existing 'truce' in Ukraine has been made a total farce as 1000s of military and civilians have been killed, so any 'hope' that this weekend's "peace efforts" will result in anything but more talk is rapidly diminishing... Germany's Merkel exclaimed honestly that it's "uncertain whether this will be successful," seemingly resigned to the fact as she added, "but it's at least worth making an attempt." French President Hollande admitted that Ukraine's eastern regions likely need "strong autonomy." Ukraine's Poroshenko blustered that he "trusts" Merkel, that the economy is collapsing (more money please), that the country does not need peacekeepers and a lack of arms is fueling conflict (so send us weapons) while pushing for a Russian withdrawal and quick cease-fire. Finally Vladimir Putin blasted that Russia is unwilling to tolerate a post-Cold War global system dominated by one absolute leader, to which US VP Joe Biden remarked simply "get out of Ukraine." But apart from that, talks are going great...
In October, BBRY shares spiked (and dumped) on rumors that Lenovo had made an offer. Today, after a detailed report from Reuters explained that Samsung executives had offered to takeover the troubled phone-maker (or whatever they call themselves nowadays) and the stocks spiked up nearly 40% - perfectly running stopw through the mid-Nov highs and squeezing shorts out of the market... and now - after hours - BlackBerry issues a statement denying the whole thing... rigged much?
Herbalife: the harbinger of what happens when every stock buyback story inevitably turns very, very ugly.
Almost exactly a month ago, long before the Texas Ebola fiasco, when virtually nobody had heard of a small company out of Ronkonkoma, NY called Lakeland Industries and whose only product is "industrial protective clothing for industry, municipalities, healthcare and to first responders" i.e., Hazmat suits, we asked "i) who will get sick next and ii) how bad could it get?" For the answer we focused on the recently announced order of 160,000 Hazmat suits by the US State Department which had come at a time when the CDC was urging everyone that there is nothing to fear and that Ebola is under control. Fast forward to today when shortly after the close, and minutes after it announced the completion of another $11 million follow on offering, Lakeland surprised everyone, and especially those who are short the stock, when it released the following "Update on Business Activity Relating to Ebola Crisis" in which it announced that it has, by now, received a stunning 1 million Hazmat suit orders and rising exponentially.
Several months ago, a Russian rocket, carrying Russia's most advanced communications satellite, exploded on launch and the west was amused at Russia's seeming incompetence, while birthing extensive speculation of the NSA's involvement. Well, moments ago either Karma, or Russian hackers, intervened, and 6 seconds after launch, the NASA unmanned Antares rocket of rocket-maker Orbital Sciences, likewise ended its mission prematurely in a massive flaming fireball.
Update: the reason FB stock is now crashing is because moments ago, the CFO stunned the investing community when he announced that FaceBook costs next year will go up by 55-75% without giving guidance on 2015 revenue. He also announced that WhatsApp, FB's $19 billion acqusition, was "accretive" to the tune of a $232 million loss in the past 6 months. Stock now down over 10%.
Facebook reported that its Monthly Active Users for the US and Canada - the segment that generates roughly half of all FB sales - rose to a record 206 million. Putting that number in context: in the same two countries, there are currently about 155 million people employed. In other words, there are about 1.3 Facebook users for every single employed person in the US and Canada.
While overall Twitter's just released Q3 numbers were more or less in line as expected, with Q3 EPS printint at just a penny, the same as expected on $361 million in revenues, $10 million higher than the $351 million expected, and even EBITDA of $68 million beat estimates of $52.8 million, the stock after hours has tumbled by some 12%. And while the headline data appear normal, it is one of the gimmicky, non-GAAP "twitter-specific" indicators that the company came up with just to validate its growth story that appears to be the cause of the drop afterhours, namely TWTR's Timeline Views/MAU, which declined across the board, and were down in both the US and Worldwide not only Y/Y (by -6% and -7%, respectively), but also down compared to the second quarter.
The only six charts you need to know why the Amazon dream is over and why AMZN stock is currently crashing after hours to fresh 52 week lows.
Netflix Obliterated After Guiding To Half Expected Q4 EPS, Streaming Adds Hit Brick Wall: Stock Down $100Submitted by Tyler Durden on 10/15/2014 16:16 -0400
Curious why Netflix is being obliterated after hours, plummeting to 5 month lows, down some $100, or 24% after hours after reporting earnings? The answer is highlighted in the Q3 investor letter, and specifically the red highlighted number, which is NFLX' guidance for Q4 EPS...