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Welcome to the new normal reality of job-hunting in 2014... "Our venture-funded vertical-driven content prosumer phablet platisher is rapidlygrowing and we need to add some Ninja Rockstar Content Associates A.S.A.P. See below for a list of open positions!"

• Ukraine Rebels Outfox Army to Dent Poroshenko Troop Goal (BBG)
• Russia Withdraws Most of Forces From Ukraine Border: U.S. (BBG)
• Super-Size Me! China’s ’Mini’ Stimulus Starts Expanding (BBG)
• Option B: The blueprint for Thailand's coup (Reuters)
• Big investors replace banks in $4.2tn repo market (FT)
• Draghi Shields Catalan Independence Bid From Market (BBG)
• U.S. companies seek cyber experts for top jobs, board seats (Reuters)
• Parsley CEO Emerges as One of Youngest U.S. Billionaires (BBG)

• Yellen Concerned by Housing Slowdown She Has Scant Power to Cure (BBG)
• Because snow in Q1? Citigroup’s CFO Says Trading Revenue Could Slide 25% (BBG)
• Banks Raise Caution Flag on Trading (WSJ)
• The answer is yes: Hilsenrath asks if BOJ’s Kuroda Awakening to His Limits? (WSJ)
• Google Develops Prototype Cars for Fully Autonomous Driving (WSJ)
• Amazon Expects Lengthy Hachette Dispute (WSJ)
• Tencent $1 Billion Game Shows Global Hunt for Mobile Hits (BBG)

Here is a verbal account of precisely what happens when domestic car-makers overestimate the purchasing power of the US, and clog channels to an epic extent. In this case, we refer to the recently launched GM Cadillac ELR, launched to much aplomb just five months ago as a competitor to the Tesla Model S for a $76,000 price point (above Tesla's $70,000), has been a complete disaster. And how is GM dealing with this latest sales disappointment (which struck even before all the recent recall scandals had hit)? Why by jamming dealers with an unprecedented 725-day supply, or exactly two years worth of cars!

• Vietnam, China trade accusations after Vietnamese fishing boat sinks (Reuters)
• SEC Set to Spur Exchange Trading (WSJ)
• Bank of Japan quietly eyes stimulus exit (Reuters)
• Japan Risks Low Growth Even as Easing Spurs Inflation (BBG)
• Hello Japan: Bond Market Message to Fed: Your 4% Rate Outlook Is Too High (BBG)
• Malaysia, UK firm release satellite data on missing MH370 flight (Reuters)
• Fighting rages in eastern Ukraine city, dozens dead (Reuters)
• Bad Credit No Problem as Balance-Sheet Bombs Rally 94%  (BBG)
• Draghi’s Asset-Backed Drive Rouses Academic Skeptics (BBG)
• For-Profit Colleges Face Test From State, Federal Officials (WSJ)

The US shale oil "miracle" has about as much believability left as Jimmy Swaggart. Just today, we learned that the EIA has placed a hefty downward revision on its estimate of the amount of recoverable oil in the #1 shale reserve in the US, the Monterey in California. As recently as yesterday, the much-publicized Monterey formation accounted for nearly two-thirds of all technically-recoverable US shale oil resources. But by this morning? The EIA now estimates these reserves to be 96% lower than it previously claimed. Yes, you read that right: 96% lower. As in only 4% of the original estimate is now thought to be technically-recoverable at today's prices.

• McDonald’s Workers Arrested at Protest Near Headquarters (BBG)
• U.S. Sends Troops to Chad to Hunt for Abducted Nigeria Girls (BBG)
• BofA Scrapping Market-Making Unit Amid Trading Scrutiny (BBG)
• Biggest attack in years kills 31 in China's troubled Xinjiang (Reuters)
• Intense Fighting Flares in Eastern Ukraine (WSJ)
• Fed Officials Tussle Over Labor Market Slack (Hilsenrath)
• Ikea Economics Lure Central Bankers Seeking New Tools (BBG)
• When Putin ordered up new hospitals, his associates botched the operation (Reuters)
• Norway’s $33 Billion Man Steps Up Search in Asia Real Estate Bet (BBG)

Unions have been the real plague of society. There is not much they have not really destroyed... The problem is that the only way to pay these unions is to raise taxes. This is the poison pill that will destroy Western Society. This hunt for taxes will destroy the economy and will not save the day in the end game. Just do the math.

• Vietnam mobs set fire to foreign factories in anti-China riots (Reuters)
• Recession-Baby Millennials Scarred by U.S. Downturn Spurn Stocks (BBG)
• U.S. Agents Start Hunting for Sanctioned Russians’ ‘Shiny Toys’ (BBG)
• Russia moves to oust US from International Space Station (FT)
• China Central Bank Calls for Faster Home Lending in Slump (BBG)
• Geithner Must Give S&P Documents in U.S. Fraud Suit (BBG)
• Samsung's 'crown prince' in focus as father hospitalized (Reuters)
• Yahoo buys mobile 'self-destruct' messaging app Blink only to shut it down (Reuters)
• Goldman’s Twitter banker joins hedge fund (FT)
• Keyword being "unexpectedly": Sony Unexpectedly Forecasts Loss Amid PC Restructuring Costs (BBG)

• EU Court: Google Must Remove Certain Links on Request (WSJ), people have right to be forgotten on Internet (Reuters)
• Harsh weather: German Investor Confidence Drops for Fifth Straight Month (BBG)
• More harsh weather: China Slowdown Deepens (BBG)
• Harsh weather as far as the eye can see: China’s New Credit Declines (BBG)
• "Alien" artist, surrealist H.R. Giger dies aged 74 (Reuters)
• Pfizer urges AstraZeneca to talk as UK lawmakers slam offer (Reuters)
• Property sector slowdown adds to China fears (FT)
• Russia says EU sanctions will hurt Ukraine peace efforts (Reuters)
• U.S. Considers Relaxing Crude Oil Export Restrictions (WSJ)

Never in a million years did we think we’d ever use an article by Andrew Ross Sorkin as the basis of a blog post, but here we are. While probably entirely unintentional, his article serves to further solidify as accurate the prevailing notion across America that former head of the New York Federal Reserve and Obama’s first Treasury Secretary, Timothy Geithner, is nothing more than an addled, crony, bureaucratic banker cabin boy. Simply put, "Geithner is so bad, he actually makes Larry Summers look good."

• China’s Trade Unexpectedly Rises (BBG)
• 'We're already not in Ukraine' - rebel east readies secession vote (Reuters)
• Pro-Russian Separatists in Ukraine Reject Putin's Call to Delay Vote (WSJ)
• Vietnam’s Stocks Post Biggest Loss in Decade on China Tensions (BBG)
• Hedge Funds Extend Their Slide (WSJ)
• Carney Looks to Untested Tools as House Prices Boom (BBG)
• New Draghi Era Seen on Hold at ECB as Euro Area Recovers (BBG)
• Woman With Printer Shows the Digital Ease of Bogus Cash (BBG)
• Regulators See Growing Financial Risks Outside Traditional Banks (WSJ)

• Alibaba files for what may be biggest tech IPO (Reuters)
• Early Tap of 401(k) Replaces Homes as American Piggy Bank (BBG)
• Developers Turn Former Office Buildings Into High-End Apartments (WSJ)
• Thai court orders Yingluck Shinawatra to step down as PM (Guardian)
• German industry orders fell 2.8% in March, the biggest drop in one and a half years (RTE)
• Ukraine Bulls Scatter as Death Toll Mounts (BBG)
• China Property Slump Adds Danger to Local Finances (BBG)
• Stein Says Fed May See Bouts of Volatility as It Approaches Exit (BBG)

Virtually everything that you do is being watched.  Do you drive a car?  Do you watch television?  Do you use a cell phone?  As you do any of those things, information about you is being recorded and tracked.  We live at a time when personal privacy is dying.  And it is not just governments that are doing this.  In fact, sometimes private companies are the biggest offenders.  It turns out that gathering information about all of us is very, very profitable.  And both government entities and private companies are going to continue to push the envelope when it comes to high tech surveillance until people start objecting to what they are trying to do.  If we continue down the path that we are currently on, it is inevitable that we will end up living in an extremely restrictive “Big Brother” police state where basically everything that we do is very closely watched, monitored, tracked and controlled.  And such a day may be much closer than you think.  The following are 10 examples of how “Big Brother” is steadily creeping into our daily lives…

In this brave New Normal world, a Chinese contraction is somehow expected to be offset by a rebound in Europe's worst economies, because following China's latest PMI miss, overnight we were told of beats in the Service PMI in Spain (56.5, vs Exp. 54.0, a 7 year high sending the Spanish 10 Year to fresh sub 3% lows), Italy at 51.1, vs Exp. 50.5, also pushing Italian yields to record lows, and France 50.4 (Exp. 50.3). We would speculate that macro events such as these, as fabricated as they may be, are relevant or even market-moving, but they aren't - all that matters is what the JPY and VIX traders at the NY Fed do in a low volume tape, usually in the last 30 minutes of the trading day. And since the trading day today happens to be a Tuesday, and nothing ever goes down on a Tuesday, the outcome is pretty much clear, and not even the absolutely abysmal Barclays earnings report has any chance of denting the latest rigged and manufactured low-volume levitation.