JPMorgan Chase

Pivotfarm's picture

Banks: You Can Bank on It!





We all knew that cultures were different and that we all had a unique way of doing things that run our daily lives. In Europe they tell the banks that they will die if they are weak (apparently, after the statement issued by Danièle Nouy, overseer of the Singe Supervisory Mechanism).

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Frontrunning: February 11





  • Frustrated by Karzai, U.S. Shifts Afghanistan Exit Plans (WSJ)
  • Yellen Testimony Guide From Payrolls Report to Emerging Markets (BBG)
  • Gold hits three-month high, shares up ahead of Yellen (Reuters)
  • Tightfisted New Owners Put Heinz on Diet (WSJ)
  • Senator describes "gruesome" bin Laden photos (Reuters)
  • More reasons for the ongoing economic contraction: U.S. Winter Storm Seen Spreading Snow, Sleet Across South (BBG)
  • Barclays Cuts Up to 12,000 Jobs as Quarterly Profit Falls  (BBG)
  • Boeing Considering 787-Size Medium-Range Jetliners (WSJ)
  • AOL Chief Apologizes for ‘Distressed Babies’ Comment (BBG)
 
Tyler Durden's picture

DOJ Sued For Crony Justice - Presenting "A Decade of Illegal Conduct by JP Morgan Chase"





Earlier today, the non-profit organization Better Markets did what so many others have only dreamed of doing - they sued JPMorgan. We wish them the best of luck, as in a "crony jsutice" system as corrupt as this one - perhaps best described, paradoxically enough by the fictional movie The International - where the same DOJ previously implicitly admitted it will not prosecute "systemically important" firms like JPM to the full extent of the law and instead merely lob one after another wrist slap at them to placate the peasantry, any hope for obtaining true justice is impossible.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Blythe Masters Withdraws From CFTC : Furious Twitter Backlash Blamed





Following our post yesterday which included the occasional F-bomb, the reaction was sharp and severe. So severe in fact that less than 24 hours later, Blythe Master has withdrawn from the CFTC. The culprit for Masters' resignation in just 24 hours? A very angry Twitter.

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Frontrunning: February 7





  • Here is why AAPL bounced off $500: Apple Repurchases $14 Billion of Own Shares in Two Weeks (WSJ)
  • German Court Refers OMT Decision to Europe's Top Court (WSJ)
  • Inflation Fuels Crises in Two Latin Nations (WSJ)
  • U.S. job growth seen snapping back from winter chill (Reuters)
  • Google to own $750 million Lenovo stake after Motorola deal closes: HK exchange (Reuters)
  • Frigid Winter Spells Trouble for U.S. Economy (BBG)
  • Winter Games to open, Putin keen to prove doubters wrong (Reuters)
  • Regulators Ready to Proceed on Bank Leverage Limit (WSJ)
  • Abe Eyes Window for Biggest Military-Rule Change Since WWII (BBG)
 
Tyler Durden's picture

The Farce Is Complete: Blythe Masters Joining CFTC





We thought today's newsflow and "market action" ranked pretty high on the absurd surrealism scale. And then we saw this.

BLYTHE MASTERS TO JOIN CFTC GLOBAL MARKETS COMMITTEE
JPMORGAN’S BLYTHE MASTERS TO JOIN CFTC ADVISORY COMMITTEE

It's almost as if they are explicitly telling the handful of people who still care about this entire charade a resounding "fuck you."

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Frontrunning: February 5





  • Goldman to Fidelity Call for Calm After Global Stock Wipeout (BBG)
  • Turnabout on Global Outlook Darkens Investor Mood (Hilsenrath)
  • EU Said to Weigh Extending Greek Loans to 50 Years (BBG)
  • Second Storm Hitting Northeast Halts Planes, Schools (BBG)
  • Small Banks Face TARP Hit (WSJ)
  • As Sony prepares PCs exit, pressure mounts for reboot on TVs (Reuters)
  • IBM Uses Dutch Tax Haven to Boost Profits as Sales Slide (BBG)
  • ECB faces dilemma with inflation drop (FT)
  • London Subway Strike Snarls Traffic as Union Opposes Cuts  (BBG)
 
Reggie Middleton's picture

My SEC Warning Regarding RBS Prescient As Biggest Loss Since Crisis on Mortgages Provision





I predicted this clearly, with loads of evidence, last spring. I even tipped the SEC/UK authorities. Tthe chickens come home to roost. Let it be known, Wall Street's margin IS my business model!!!

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Frontrunning: January 29





  • Obama warns divided Congress that he will act alone (Reuters)
  • Fed Decision Day Guide From Emerging Markets to FOMC Voter Shift (BBG)
  • Fed poised for $10 billion taper as Bernanke bids adieu (Reuters)
  • Bernanke’s Unprecedented Rescue Unlikely to Be Repeated (BBG)
  • Argentina Spends $115 Million to Steady Peso (WSJ)
  • Billionaires Fuming Over Market Selloff That Sinks Magnit (BBG)
  • SAC’s Counsel Testifies at Insider Trading Trial in Unexpected Move by the Defense (NYT)
  • Automakers Fuel Japan’s Longest Profit Growth Streak Since 2007 (BBG)
  • Turkey Crisis Puts Jailed Millionaire at Heart of Gold Trail (BBG)
  • Ukraine expects $2 billion tranche of Russian aid soon (Reuters)
 
Tyler Durden's picture

Frontrunning: January 28





  • Emerging markets pray for Wall Street tumble (Reuters)
  • Yellen Faces Test Bernanke Failed: Ease Bubbles (BBG)
  • Samsung sets new smartphone sales record in fourth quarter, widens lead over Apple (Reuters)
  • China’s Foreign-Reserves Investment Chief Said to Depart Agency (BBG)
  • China’s Rescue of Troubled Trust May Stoke Risk-Taking (BBG)
  • Ukraine PM Azarov offers to resign 'to help end conflict' (Reuters) ... And Russia says may reconsider aid if this happens
  • But... but... it was all gold's fault: India Unexpectedly Raises Rate as Rupee Risks Inflation Goal (BBG)
  • Former Belgian king 'boycotting' public events after complaining £760,000 is not enough to live on (Telegraph)
  • Greek disposable income tumbles 8% in Q3 (Kathimerini)
 
Tyler Durden's picture

Turkish Lira Soars Over 1000 Pips In Hours On Central Bank Intervention Suspense





As we noted earlier, the "surprise" factor of the Turkish Central Bank's (CBT) emergency meeting is seeming to have the desired effect as the Lira has rallied over 1000 pips since the announcement. Officially there has been no intervention and, despite Erdogan's political pressure on the CBT not to raise rates (because of the "interest rates lobby"), Barclays (as we noted here) and most other banks are expecting more conventional dramatic interest rate hikes (since everyone knows the FX reserves are running dry):

*TURKEY NEEDS TO RAISE O/N RATE 300BPS FOR MKT EFFECT: JPMORGAN

However, JPMorgan adds that it "strongly doubts this will regain investors confidence" and Finansbank warns it has "significant doubts" that the CBT will deliver. And this is what the rest of the market thinks...

 
Tyler Durden's picture

Frontrunning: January 27





  • Emerging sell-off hits European shares, lifts yen (Reuters) - but not really if you hit refresh since the latest central bank bailout announcement
  • Apple’s Holiday Results to Show Whether Growth Is Back (BBG)
  • Israel attacked Syrian base in Latakia, Lebanese media reports (Haaretz)
  • Abenomics FTW: Japan Posts Record Annual Trade Deficit as Import Bill Soars (BBG)
  • When all else fails, Spain's hope lie in a 16th century saint: Saint “might help Spain out of crisis,” says interior minister (El Pais)
  • Global Woes Fail to Send Cash Into U.S. Stocks (WSJ)
  • IMF's Lagarde sees eurozone inflation "way below target" (Reuters)
  • Minimum wage bills pushed in at least 30 states (AP)
  • AT&T Gives Up Right to Offer to Buy Vodafone Within 6 Months (BBG)
 
Tyler Durden's picture

Jamie Dimon Gets Pay Raise After Raking Up $25 Billion In Legal Fees





Earlier this week we reported that at JPMorgan, the many will pay for the crimes of the few, after the bank revealed that compensation for most workers would be flat with 2012, and no raises were planned for the bank's employees as a result of the massive, $20+ billion legal bill the bank has raked up in recent months as one after another market manipulation, fraud and malfeasance by current and former JPM workers has been revealed. One person, however, will be exempt from this blanket punishment: the firm's CEO Jamie Dimon, of course. Because there is always a reason Jamie is richer than you...

 
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