JPMorgan Chase

All you need to know.

Earlier we were complaining that the newsflow was on its way to getting full-retard surreal. It just crossed that line. From NBC:

NY FBI Opens Inquiry into JPMorgan Chase Loss

All you need to read.

• JPMorgan Said to Weigh Bonus Clawbacks After Loss (Bloomberg)
• Obama Says JPMorgan Loss Shows Need for Tighter Rules (Bloomberg)
• Greeks Try New Tack, Seeking Technocrat Slate (WSJ)
• Euro zone finance ministers dismiss Greek exit "propaganda" (Reuters)
• Romney’s business record under fire (FT)
• Tide Turning in Japan Deflation Fight, BOJ’s Top Economist Says (BBG)
• Euro Chiefs May Offer Leniency to Greece (Bloomberg)
• Portugal's Progress Won't Guarantee Funding (WSJ)
• EU Bank-Liquidity Bill Proceeds; U.K. May Protest (WSJ)
• Cameron pressed to boost enterprise (FT)

• Default now or default later? (FT)
• Monti warns of tears in Italy's social fabric (Reuters)
• Fear Grows of Greece Leaving Euro (FT)
• Greek Elections Loom as Key Bailout Opponent Defies Unity (Bloomberg)
• Santander, BBVA to Set Aside 4.5 Billion Euros for New Cleanup (BBG) - Thank god they both passed the stress test
• Austerity Blow for Merkel in German State Election (Reuters)
• Apple Founder Wozniak to Buy Facebook Regardless of Price (Bloomberg) - so... another ponzi.
• Dimon Fortress Breached as Push From Hedging to Betting Blows Up (Bloomberg)
• Saudi and Bahrain Expected to Seek Union: Minister (Reuters)
• Obama Pitches Equal Pay to Win Women Even as Charges Drop (BBG)

All you need to read and some more.

Did JP make a huge blunder or was was it gaming its TBTF status?

Update: now S&P is also one month behind Egan Jones: JPMorgan Chase & Co. Outlook to Negative From Stable by S&P. Only NRSRO in pristinely good standing is Moodys, and then the $2.1 billion margin call will be complete.

So it begins, even as it explains why the Dimon announcement was on Thursday - why to give the rating agencies the benefit of the Friday 5 o'clock bomb of course:

• JPMorgan Cut by Fitch to A+/F1; L-T IDR on Watch Negative

What was the one notch collateral call again? And when is the Morgan Stanley 3 notch cut coming? Ah yes:

So... another $2.1 billion just got Corzined? Little by little, these are adding up.

I have to hand it to the Central Planners.  They are good.  Really, really good.  Of course, they are battling a crippled opponent considering so much of America consists of lobotomized sheeple, but nevertheless to be able to steal so much from many people with such blatant and simplistic methods and not be widely discovered is an act of devious brilliance.  The reason I say this now is because ever since last fall TPTB have changed tactics and totally taken over the markets and with it shoved many people into what is best described as a trance.  The people know something is very wrong.  They know they are getting poorer; that life is getting harder, yet the television and the markets have cloaked a blanket of sedation upon their minds.

Either Dimon misled the public about the gravity of the festering trades during his company’s first-quarter earnings call last month. Or he didn’t know what was happening inside the bowels of his own company. History tells us the latter is the norm for Wall Street bosses, though it’s hard to say which is worse.

• China Industrial Output Growth Slows Sharply In April (WSJ)
• Indian industrial output shrinks unexpectedly (AFP)
• China’s Inflation Moderates, Adding Room for Easing (Bloomberg)... a nickel for every "imminent RRR-cut" prediction
• Drew Built 30-Year JPMorgan Career Embracing Risk (Bloomberg)
• Spain Offered Time to Curb Deficit (FT)
• France Entrepreneurs Flee From Hollande Wealth Rejection (BBG)
• Venizelos Eyes Unity Deal After Agreement With Democratic Left (Ekathimerini)
• Berlin Reaches Out to the Periphery (FT)
• Bernanke Speaks About Risks From End of Pro-Growth Plans (Bloomberg)

You know I saw this one coming 3 years ago, didn't you??? This ain't the end of the story either. You heard it hear first, again!

Out of nowehere, JPM announced 40 minutes ago that it would hold an unscheduled 5pm call to coincide with the release of its 10-Q. Rumors were swirling as to why. The reason is as follows:

• JPMORGAN SAYS CIO UNIT HAS SIGNIFICANT MARK-TO-MARKET LOSSES - "Fortress balance sheet" at least until Bruno Iskil gets done with it.
  
• JPMORGAN SAYS LOSSES ARE IN SYNTHETIC CREDIT PORTFOLIO - but, but, net is NEVER, EVER Gross.
• JPM WOULD NEED $971M ADDED COLLATERAL IF RATINGS CUT ONE-NOTCH
• JPM WOULD NEED $1.7B ADDED COLLATERAL IF RATINGS CUT 2 NOTCHES - how about three notches?
• JPMORGAN: MAY HOLD SOME SYNTHETIC CREDIT POSITIONS LONG TERM - "Level 3 CDS FTW"
• "As of March 31, 2012, the value of CIO's total AFS securities portfolio exceeded its cost by approximately $8 billion"

As a reminder, the CIO unit is where Bruno Iksil was making $200 billion-sized bets. Basically JPM has suffered massive losses at its CIO group most likely due to its IG/HY positions held by Iksil.

• Borrowers Face Big Delays in Refinancing Mortgages (WSJ)
• Greek left attacks ‘barbarous’ austerity (FT)
• Would-be suicide bomber was U.S. informant (Reuters)
• Cameron says Euro needs single government: report (Reuters)
• Demonstrators targeting BofA annual meeting (Reuters)
• Moody’s Bank Downgrades Risk Choking European Recovery (Bloomberg)
• Lehman E-Mails Show Wall Street Arrogance Led to the Fall (Bloomberg)
• What Hollande must tell Germany (Martin Wolf) (FT)
• Why France Has So Many 49-Employee Companies (BusinessWeek)

As the economy slows, demand for jobs are about to increase, right? After all, it must be true, they just said it in the news!!!