New York Stock Exchange

And you thought this would stay in Ireland and Cyprus right? Keep hope alive. RBS bailout per UK taxpayer = £1,414 or €1,654 or $2,177. but they didn't tell you everything, did they?

Herbalife (NYSE: HLF) today announced that KPMG LLP notified Herbalife on April 8, 2013 that KPMG was resigning, effective immediately, as Herbalife's independent accountant. KPMG stated it had concluded it was not independent because of alleged insider trading in Herbalife's securities by one of KPMG’s former partners who, until April 5, 2013, was the KPMG engagement partner on Herbalife's audit. KPMG advised the Company it resigned as Herbalife's independent accountant solely due to the impairment of KPMG's independence resulting from its now former partner’s alleged unlawful activities and not for any reason related to Herbalife's financial statements, its accounting practices, the integrity of Herbalife's management or for any other reason....at no point during the three fiscal years ended December 31, 2012 and the subsequent interim period through April 8, 2013 were there any (1) disagreements with KPMG on any matter of accounting principles or practices, financial statement disclosure or auditing scope or procedures, which disagreement(s), if not resolved to the satisfaction of KPMG, would have caused it to make reference to the subject matter of the disagreement(s) in connection with its reports, or (2) “reportable events” as such term is defined in Item 304(a)(1)(v) of Regulation S-K.

• JPMorgan Leads Job Cuts as Banks Seek to Bolster Profit (BBG)
• North Koreans don't show for work at Kaesong factory park (Reuters), as NK urges foreigners to leave South Korea (FT)
• Lisbon Struggles to Close New Budget Gap (WSJ)
• Portugal may face delay to bailout funds (FT)
• Putin Squeezing Out UBS to Deutsche Bank Using Oligarchs (BBG)
• China's Xi Says Fast Growth Over (WSJ)
• Spain’s PM wants more powers for ECB (FT)
• Bernanke Says Interest on Reserves Would Be Main Tightening Tool (BBG)
• Bird Flu Claims 7th Victim in China (WSJ)
• Texting While Flying Linked to Commercial Helicopter Crash (BBG)... No, Bernanke wasn't the pilot

So much for the "transformational" CEO, poached from AAPL and credited with creating the AAPL retail mystique. As per CNBC, he now effectively "out":

J.C. PENNEY TO OUST RON JOHNSON AS CEO: CNBC
J.C. PENNEY'S CEO JOHNSON `IS OUT': CNBC

At least he lasted just a bit longer than the former JCP president Mike Francis, who came, saw, collected $10 million, and quit nine months later.

The big driver of market declines Friday was led by the Non-Farm Payrolls report. The jobs data was a dreadful miss which leads to the major “disconnect” we’ve been seeing between stock prices and overall economic data which we posted just last week. This is the nagging and confounding reality of the QE and ZIRP grand experiment for many investors.

Mounds of cold, hard, indisputable evidence not found ANYWHERE else! Damn, you thought Cyprus was newsworthy? Ireland already Troika'd & they're bigger than Cyprus. Depositor recap of banks looks inevitable if this research is right!

According to the updated NYSE Q2 circuit breaker levels, it will take a 4,350 point drop in the NYSE for an all day trading halt. Of course, if the DJIA tumbles by 30% intraday, whether to close the several hundred shares trading on the NYSE will be the last thing on people's minds.

As the holiday weekend starts and quarter ends, what better time is there to go out on a new S&P 500 Index high? The new high was in the cards.

One thing bulls should worry about is a report that pension plans may rebalance as much as $29-35 billion out of stocks to bonds and other assets with the quarter end. We’ll see how that works this coming week.

Well, that was a fun day, eh? Spills and thrills the whole day long.

Importantly, it’s the end of the quarter and performance bonuses are on the line. So any excuse to rally is built in to conditions.

Given the complexity of our system just to execute a trade, is it any wonder that CNBC has been on a push with Mila Kunis and Rachael Fox to bring back the seemingly low-brow retail investor who only gets into the market once his favorite TV actress says so?

It may be that a larger correction is in order given that some important global powers are struggling. Money printing by itself isn’t cure-all for what ails us.

Friday not much is happening beyond Cyprus tensions—how fun! 

Let’s see what happens.

• Cyprus works on Plan B to stave off bankruptcy (AP)
• Cyprus seeks Russian bailout aid, EU threatens cutoff (Reuters)
• Freddie Mac Sues Multiple Banks Over Libor Manipulation (BBG)
• Bernanke Seen Keeping Up Pace of QE Until Fourth Quarter (Bloomberg)
• Italian president seeks way out of political stalemate (Reuters)
• Chinese factories struggle to keep staff (FT)
• South Korean banks, media report network crash (CBC)
• BlackBerry Inventor Starts Fund to Make Star Trek Device Reality (Bloomberg)
• Osborne Should Be Fired, Voters Say in Pre-Budget Poll (Bloomberg)
• Obama Begins First Visit to Israel as President (WSJ)
• Anadarko finds ‘potentially giant’ oilfield (FT)
• Britain's Osborne boxed in by austerity on budget day (Reuters)
• MF Global reaches agreement with JPMorgan (FT)

Most investors are nervous now and need to hold things together to include the Fed meeting announcement Wednesday. If bulls are lucky they’ll get their Turnaround Tuesday.