Obamacare

We can only imagine the overwhelmingly positive perspective that Boehner and the GOP leadership will have as they discuss Obamacare's early days... What's worse than a "train wreck?" ...grab your popcorn...

• Top China Banks Triple Debt Write-Offs as Defaults Loom (BBG)
• PBOC suspends open market operations again (Global Times)
• Eurozone bank shares fall after ECB outlines health check plan (FT)
• O-Care falling behind (The Hill)
• Key House Republican presses tech companies on Obamacare glitches (Reuters)
• J.P. Morgan Faces Another Potential Huge Payouta (WSJ)
• Yankees Among 10 MLB Teams Valued at More Than $1 Billion (BBG)
• Free our reporter, begs newspaper as China cracks down on journalists (Reuters)
• Peugeot Reviews Cost-Saving Alliance With GM (WSJ)

It’s all for play isn’t it when the French Minister of the Interior Manuel Valls summons the US Ambassador?

Just when you thought ObamaCare couldn't stoop any lower in its "pitch", it does...

As part of our monthly NFP-day tradition, we break down the monthly job gains (and losses) by industry. So here they are: in September the biggest job gaining sectors, accounting for 86K jobs or 58% of the total 148K jobs added, were the following  four industries:

• Transportation and Warehousing: + 23K
• Government: +22K
• Retail Trade: +21K
• Temp Help: +20K

In short: nearly two thirds of all jobs created in September (according to the BLS' increasingly more flawed data so these numbers are likely completely made up) were truck drivers, bureaucrats, salespeople and temps.

while the September Establishment Survey was a disappointing +148K, far below expectations, it was the Household Survey where the fun was.On the top line, the gain in jobs was comparable to the Establishment number: a timid 133K. However, looking at the breakdown between Full-Time and Part-Time jobs reveals something simply hilarious. The chart below summarizes it. According to the BLS' magic calculations, in one month, the month during which the so-called uncertainly surrounding the government shutdown hit its peak (if one listens to CEO apologists), the US work force saw the rotation of some 594K part-time workers into a whopping 691K full-time jobs, in addition to adding over 100K net new jobs in the month.

• Despite budget win, Obama has weak hand with Congress (Reuters)
• Carney Brings In McKinsey for Bank of England Strategy Rethink (BBG)
• Bill Gates Buys Stake in Spanish Construction Company FCC (WSJ)
• Jerusalem Mayor Barkat Seeks New Term in Race Arabs Sitting Out (BBG)
• J.P. Morgan Aimed to Limit Damage (WSJ)
• EU Lawmakers Reject Draghi Call for Bank Bondholder Clemency (BBG)
• Wall Street Profits May Halve in Second Half (WSJ)
• Petrobras-led group wins Brazil oil auction with minimum bid (Reuters)
• Apple to Refresh IPads Amid Challenges for Tablet Share (BBG)
• Italy plans to offer guarantees on govt bond derivatives (Reuters)
• Berkshire Beats Apple as Favorite Stock of Tiger 21 Group (BBG)

Overnight global markets have gone decidedly nowhere, in expectation of the long-overdue September payroll report, and seemingly oblivious of the Goldman pre-announcement all clear that "Any positive number will be discounted because it came before the DC theatrics and if it’s weak it confirms that tapering should be put off longer." In other words, both the September, and accompanying July and August revisions (recall it was the revisions where the August NFP number ended the FOMC's taper talk) are meaningless because everything will be spun bullish. For those who do care - mostly headline reacting HFT algos - here is the summary: consensus is for 180k (unemployment rate unchanged at 7.3%). Note that the survey period for today’s payrolls report was prior to the shutdown which started on October 1st. As for how the amusingly named "market" will react to the news: see Goldman quote above, or better yet: just call the NYFed trading desk.

Responding to widespread criticism regarding its health care website, the federal government today unveiled its new, improved Obamacare program, which allows Americans to purchase health insurance after installing a software bundle contained on 35 floppy disks...

Dreams usually come to an end when we get to the good part. The juiciest part of the American dream has ended too

At some point in the future, interviewers may ask Americans, "How could you just sit by whilst the atrocities occurred?" Americans may shrug their shoulders and say that they were not really aware of what was happening. If and when this comes to pass, will they be lying? Possibly not. It may be that those who had simply "tuned out" were no longer cognizant of the meaning of events around them and were functioning as automatons—servants of the American Reich. The warning signs are becoming more numerous with each passing day. The choice for Americans today is whether to wait and see whether history repeats or whether to plan to be elsewhere before the deterioration advances further.

It would appear, despite the President's urging, that Obamacare's helpline is living up to its mnemonics. As The National Review reports, President Obama emerged on Monday to assure Americans that the “kinks” surrounding the federal and state health-care exchanges are improving and urged consumers to call the exchange hotline if they continue to encounter problems online. Shortly after he made the suggestion, Twitter lit up with reporters and others who attempted to do so but failed to get through to a navigator as promised. Indeed, Mr. President, 1-800-318-2596 to you too...

Okuna My Data!

It would appear President Obama has another gift few are aware of. For at least the 5th time in the last few years, his oratory has forced a woman in the audience to fall to the floor. First in September 2011, twice in March 2012, then in August 2012, and now today during his latest Obamacare pitch, the President's intonations appear to disturb the brain's cortex just enough to halt the breathing (and thinking) process. Of course, the end result will be the launch of Obamafood - the non-fainting alternative to listening to his speeches/pitches, which for those who are sufficiently brain dead will come in a prechewed (by other taxpayers) variant, also known as ObamaIV.

We've heard statement after statement from any and all talking heads (a sample of the best 25 here) and we've seen the numbers (both internally and in context)... and we've discussed the unintended consequences and what to expect in 2014. So now (due at 1125ET - so who knows what time he turns up), it's the big man's turn to become the Sham-Wow guy; explain how great it actually is (and ignore the bloggers); how any minute now it will all be fixed, and how awesome this will all be (one day)... Don't forget you can always call 1-800-F U-CKYO for advice.