Reuters

What would the weekend be without at least one rumor that Europe is on the verge of fixing everything, or failing that, planning for a master fix, OR failing that, planning for a master plan to fix everything. Sure enough, we just got the latter, which considering nobody really believes anything out of Europe anymore, especially not something that has not been signed, stamped and approved by Merkel herself, is rather ballsy. Nonetheless, one can't blame them for trying: "The chiefs of four European institutions are in the process of creating a master plan for the euro zone, the daily Die Welt reports Saturday, in an advance release of an article to be published Sunday. Suggestions targeting a fiscal, banking, and political union, as well as structural reforms, are being worked out..." Less than credible sources report that Spiderman towels (which are now trading at negative repo rates) and cross-rehypothecated kitchen sinks are also key components of all future "master plans" which sadly are absolutely meaningless since the signature of Europe's paymaster - the Bundesrepublik - is as usual lacking. Which is why, "the plan may well mean that the euro zone adopts measures not immediately accepted by the whole of the European Union, the article adds." So... European sub-union? Hardly strange is that just as this latest desperate attempt at distraction from the complete chaos in Europe (which will only find a resolution once XO crosses 1000 as we and Citi suggested two weeks ago and when the world is truly on the verge of the abyss), none other than George Soros has just started a 3-month countdown to European the European D(oom)-Day.

Two days ago we made a simple observation: back in September 2011, Weinstein's firm SABA Capital hired one of the key JPMorgan prop traders - Maitland Hudson - who "ran JPMorgan’s proprietary trading of derivatives tied to commercial-mortgage bonds" and whose future job at Saba would "focus on relative value trades" - such as, perhaps, IG9 10 Year versus a basket of tranched trades... Our suggestion was that instead of being a brilliant credit trader as he has been called by Bill Ackman, and his antics while in charge of the DB prop desk certainly put theory in jeopardy, perhaps Weinstein is merely a wonderful headhunter: one who knows just whom to hire and when (kinda like Steve Cohen hiring key Pharmaceutical company R&D personnel in a perfectly legal transaction now that expert networks are done, but that is a topic for another day).

In a day when many could do with some cheering up, here is some bonus humor courtesy of some truly delightful headline editing at Reuters.

Gold’s London PM fix today was USD 1606.00, EUR 1292.763, and GBP 1041.775 per ounce.

Gold lost 0.17% or $2.70 in New York yesterday and closed at $1,562.10/oz. Gold initially traded sideways in Asia then dipped and began to recover at the open in European trading prior to further slight weakness saw it touch $1,550/oz. 

Maybe the electrician-in-chief can send them some of those unused Solyndra solar panels?

• Germany shifts, gives Spain more time on deficit (Reuters)
• Europe must prepare an emergency plan (FT)
• EU Spain reveals €100bn capital flight (FT)
• Spain’s Guindos says future of Euro at stake in Spain (Bloomberg)
• ECB, EU officials warn euro’s survival at risk (Reuters)
• China can ‘cope’ if Greece exits Euro, NDRC Researcher says (Bloomberg)
• Japan Warns Against Rising Yen (WSJ)
• Global stocks investors head for exits (FT)
• Hot Copper Shorts Burning Commodity Firms (Caixin)

All you need to read.

Here we go again. Back in July 2011 we wrote an article entitled "The Real Banking Crisis" where we discussed the increasing instability of the Eurozone banks suffering from depositor bank runs. Since that time (and two LTRO infusions and numerous bailouts later), Eurozone banks, as represented by the Euro Stoxx Banks Index, have fallen more than 50% from their July 2011 levels and are now in the midst of yet another breakdown led by the abysmal situation currently unfolding in Greece and Spain.... Although the last eight months have not played out the way we would have expected for gold, they have played out the way we envisioned for the banks. The question now is how long this can go on for, and how long gold can remain under pressure in a banking crisis that has the potential to spread beyond Greece and Spain? So much now rests on the policy responses fashioned by the US Fed and ECB, and just as much also rests on what's left of European citizens' confidence in their local banking institutions. Neither of these things can be precisely measured or predicted, but we continue to firmly believe that depositors in Greece and Spain will choose gold over drachmas or pesetas if they have the foresight and are given the freedom to act accordingly. The number one reason we have always believed gold should be owned, and why we believe it will go higher, is people's growing distrust of the banking system - and we are now there. We will wait and see how the summer develops, and keep our attention firmly focused of the second phase of the bank run now spreading across southern Europe.

• Dublin in final push for EU treaty Yes vote (FT)
• Spain cries for help: is Berlin listening? (Reuters)
• Crisis draws squatters to Spain's empty buildings (Reuters)
• EU World Bank Chief Urges Euro Bonds (WSJ)
• but... EU: Current Plan Is Not To Let ESM Directly Recapitalize Banks (WSJ)
• Graff pulls Hong Kong IPO, latest victim of weak markets (Reuters) - was MS underwriter?
• EU Weighs Direct Aid to Banks as Antidote to Crisis (Bloomberg)
• Dewey's bankruptcy: Let the rumble begin (Dewey)
• More are cutting off Greek trade: Trade credit insurers balk at Greek risk (FT)
• Rosengren wants more Fed easing; Dudley, Fisher don't (Reuters)
• EU throws Spain two potential lifelines (Reuters)
• Fed's Bullard says more quantitative easing unlikely for now, warns on Europe (Reuters)

And to think it was not even 2 hours ago that a regurgitated and largely impotent news story hit the WSJ (following up on an identical Reuters story yesterday, as ZH noted), sending the EURUSD higher by 50 pips. As we said, expect Germany to come out with a prompt refutation in minutes. The minutes in question were 90. The official denial to Gollum's lie panderings has arrived courtesy of Market News: "Government spokesman Steffen Seibert said at a regular press conference here that the German rejection of the idea of any direct recapitalisation of banks by the ESM "is well known." Summary: B+ for effort, C for execution, C- for market reaction halflife, and F for content, as usual.

• Finally, even the NYT gets it: Most Aid to Athens Circles Back to Europe (NYT)... compare to ZH from February
• It took less than 2 weeks: Zuckerberg Drops Off Billionaires Index as Facebook Falls (Bloomberg)
• Morgan Stanley derivatives switch hits hold-up (FT)... MS prevented from having non-existant deposits backsto $52 trillion in derivatives
• Solyndra goes global: Spain Ejects Clean-Power Industry With Europe Precedent (Bloomberg)
• Investors may be stoking the volatility they fear (Reuters)... Zombie Catch 22
• Facebook shares plumb new depths, valuation questioned (Reuters) shouldnt this have been questioned before?
• Italian auction reinforces eurozone woes (FT)
• Visa Beats JPMorgan as Cards Wage War on Cash (Bloomberg)
• Sweden Escapes Recession as Growth Returned in First Quarter (Bloomberg)

Update: sure enough "EU says accommodative ECB has little scope for more stimulus"

In a headline that is far less than meets the eye, we read the following:

• EU WILLING TO `ENVISAGE' DIRECT ESM BANK RECAPITALIZATIONS
• EURO ZONE SHOULD MOVE TOWARDS BANKING UNION

As a reminder, this is the EU... not the ECB... and not Germany. The same EU which has for a while now been pushing for Germany to foot the bill. The same EU which without Germany's funding agreement, is a faceless zombie. Recall yesterday's Reuters story that made the rounds: EU proposes cross-border bank rescues. and which as Reuters admitted is "likely to upset some members, particularly Germany." Same here. As expected the record number of EUR shorts send the currency into the sky, but we expect it to come right back down once it is understood that Germany has yet to say anything on this plan.

California Fish Contaminated with Fukushima Radiation

Back on the 11th of May something very curious happened: the ECB's line item 5.2 from its "Consolidated financial statement of the Eurosystem", or in other words, the LTRO money handed out to various European banks, dropped by €10.8 billion. There is one problem with this: this number is not allowed to decline. Or technically, if it does, it means something is wrong.

All you need to read and some more.