williambanzai7's picture




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janus's picture

janus thought long and hard bout the subject du juor and what it may be. i tried to mull-over lots of important stuff; and even though things market-wise are goin the way i prescribed, i'm not content.  don't get me wrong, i'm usually not satisfied with things in general -- i mean, as a rule, people and the world they in which they inhabit are but a field of stinging nettles, and we are but joggers through it's ouch-making terrain;  and though i'm typically keen to lump vast swaths of humanity into the coal-fired hell of generalization, i've got to give pause before i shovel the jew in among with em'. 

janus recently move to the Tribal Mecca...so he knows what the fuck he's talking bout.

janus has never before really known the 'jew'. he is, however, open to new experience.  in certain respects, the average jew conforms to your myopic stereotype...for example (and, sorry to say, pro forma), one of my first encounters with the jew, here in the high-azkanazi homeland, was in starbucks.  let's call her mrs. green (we'll call her that cause that was her real name), and she was there with her daugther and husband;  we'll call them ms. green-the-lesser and mr. green the sleeper.

so, there i was, readin my FT (wolf, if it matters), and who should come along but an awkward gaggle of hebrews.  janus, wishing quiet and the leonardcohen-playin radio to sustain, tried to ignore the rabble, but, alas, to no avail.

shortly after they took way too long to sit down and settle, they quickly engaged in an endless argument regarding onion and whether or not it's to be employed in the alchemy that is "CHICKEN SALAD"...oh shit, bitchez...you have no idea how severe the feelings of the otherwise innocent looking jew are regarding chicken-fuckin-salad.  i mean, twenty goddam mintues of mindless debate about onion and no-onion.  when, truth be known, chicken-salad ain't chicken salad without onion...i should know, i owned a restaurant for three years.  so, naturally, i sided with mrs. greene the elder -- the saucy minx who pitched her tent in the pro-onion camp...God bless her.

no one would be surprised to find the elderly man nodding, much less the elderly man surronded by fretful women hyperventelating over onion (and whether or not it belongs in chicken salad), and so nor was i.  it was only when ms. green-the-lesser waved her hands about in an emotive spasm viz. onion and it's proper application that the lemonade was upset..

you must know that janus is no neat-freak; but, all the same, he cannot brook an upset lemonade.  janus there meditated and then evaluated...paused and thought...although he likely made the wrong decison, janus duly returned the lemonade to its natural and upright position, saved old-man-green from embarassment and, well...bad idea -- i had to take sides in the ongoing debate.

twas a long and tedious debate.  onion took the day; but that's not the point.

i set to brooding over the irish and why they're not so loathed.  i mean, just like israel, this is a nation whose population abides at large.  not to metion the fact that they're almost all gingers -- and you can rest assured that their papal rituals involve gentile blood-drinkin -- hence the ruddy exterior.  also, and this is the nub of the nexus, they look after their own -- which means they're patently evil.  goddam irish; God Bless em!  the irish is the covert jew -- employin all their crafty tricks and hiding behind those coy-lookin freckles and wiry red hair.  we must rout them out! lest they bring a plague on us all.  somethin about em makes me nervous...maybe it's the mirth they make.  

really, i can't decide: janus needs a jewish and irish mistress at the same time -- that way i'll know for sure who's evil and who's more evil.


fear dis,




Iam_Silverman's picture

"janus recently move to the Tribal Mecca...so he knows what the fuck he's talking bout."

Would the contraction of those two words be....Tribeca?

GMadScientist's picture

"One in the mornin'...one for the evenin'..."

Put onion in whatever portion of the salad makes sense given the onion-loving demographics of your 'tribe', mark the bowl with it included, and move on.

janus's picture


above you will find the love story of janus and mrs. janus -- how we met.  LOVE indeed.  far away eyes; as such.  and, baby, i thought i'd dedicate a song to ya.   janus has loved you long and earnestly, and to great effect.  so the next song belongs to you, my sweet, sweet sugar-pussy.  mrs. janus is fine as frog-hair and whatnot, but, as i've explained to her at great length, she is but one girl; this is not her fault, nor is it the fault of janus. at this point we can only blame God, who does not seem to care.  and so, to THE UNMOVED MOVER, and my baby girl, here is our song:


(crazy that it took 16 years for us to find a song -- mrs. janus is AWESOME...and she understands the needs of janus -- God bless her...janus loves his baby-girl!...Baby, you will in ALWAYS be HOME! (so try and understand)).

now janus will smoke and decide what story to tell.

cough, cough, cough...


GMadScientist's picture

"If you can't be with the one you love..."


janus: adored. knows this!

janus's picture


before i start to writin and whatnot, i thought i should alert you: that genius idea, the banzijounalizm thing, well, janus is gonna be pitchin it to some film students at emerson college soon enough.  so decide, right-quick and all...i'm takin the name -- no matter.  anyway, this is happening with or without you; i will wait for you for 72 hours.  that should suffice for deciding and such.  

you have my email.  this is happening.



bon ami,



Yen Cross's picture

 I Know Better!

rosiescenario's picture

....and all I could think of was th toilet scene out of 'Desparado'....

ebworthen's picture

Flush that toilet already!

Nothing but a bunch of big unhealthy turds that think they are Battleships.

Flush, flush, flush!

GMadScientist's picture

It is my sad duty (get i?) to inform you the handle is broken, Cap'n.

CompassionateFascist's picture

So much venom on this site. Tsk, tsk, tsk....whatever happened to Christian charity and forbearance?  We should all take a lesson from Ann "nuke the wogs" Barnhardt. Most of U don't even have a gun in the house...and all the ferocity of angry kittens.

Iam_Silverman's picture

"Most of U don't even have a gun in the house...and all the ferocity of angry kittens. "

And you base this on....what?

I would assume quite the opposite.

Jim in MN's picture

"God bears with the wicked, but not forever." - Cervantes

ebworthen's picture

The Romans, the Monarchies, every tin-pot dictator, and now parasitic crony capitalist oligarchs and government kleptocrats have loved Christians for their "turn the other cheek" and "render unto Caesar" ways all the way to the Treasury/Coffer/Bank.

Perhaps your bold and italics means "sarcasm"...

walküre's picture

That "render unto Caesar" never made sense to me and is incompatible with most of the other teachings. Either the whole thing was fabricated to create willing and submissive goym or the story has some basis and the "render unto Caesar" part was inserted by Caesarians later when the philosophies and teachings were adopted as state religion and sanctified by the Caesars.

JC was a rebel with a major cause. He was angry. Raising disciples and followers of JC to be doormats and asswipes is for the benefit of the elite and the establishment.

GMadScientist's picture

Hmmm....maybe you read a different bible, but it's doormats in this life for the lot of them as I read it.

JC spent a great deal of time trying to get people to let go of their attachment (sound like anyone?) to this world and that was part of the same vibe. Would it have made more sense if he'd said, "Leave your thoughts about material possessions on the material plane?"

The co-opting of Judaism and sell-out to Rome had already been accomplished by the Sadducees before JC was rapping with rabbis on the temple steps. Who do you think was collecting the taxes? And for bonus points, how much of that do you think really made it to Rome?

What do you think Judas, Zadok, and the rest of the "dagger boys" were so hoppin' mad about that they'd kill other jews?



Stuck on Zero's picture

That's obviously not a water saving low-flush toilet.  I can barely get a puke down after watching Obama give a speech.


fourchan's picture

gold, the roto rooter if instruments.

stant's picture

wreck the obama fitz-something 'with a debt wieghing more than gdp of the of the obama fitz-something weighed-----'

GMadScientist's picture

At seven PM a main hatchway caved in
He said, "Fellas, it's been good to know ya"



Cruel Aid's picture

MO, Bloom and Fat-LOL!

mendolover's picture

Good-bye cruel world it's over!!!

shovelhead's picture

Poor Smokey,

Went for a stroll down Wall St. and Jaime had him set on fire.

He hates bears.

Arnold Ziffel's picture

Yes, the world economy is sinking by 1,000 cuts--some big, some tiny---but sinking. Anecdotally speaking, my buddy and his wife  run an online store...says sales are plunging and worse, 45% of the people who place an order wind up cancelling it before final payment is due---a whopper of a default rate! (He said that number is normally less then 6% for his 'thingamajigs."

Debt destruction is seeping up from the bottom and trickling down from above crushing the Middle Class even further I'm afraid.

BTW, it's good to see Smokey the Bear still around advertising...I had thought he was extinct, along with frogs and bumble bees.

Zero Govt's picture

you lighten the path of economic chaos and destruction caused by that shambolic and most corrupt of all institutions, Govt, Banzai

if it weren't for you i'm sure i would have completely lost it once a month, like when i used to have a Microshite laptop!!

Nobody For President's picture

Some pictures are worth a LOT more than 1000 words - the old bullfighter with cape and begging cup is narrowly my favorite today. Incredibly sad.

I didn't think your graphics could improve, but Limerick King does add a cherry or two on top.

Just incredible!

Thanks again!

williambanzai7's picture

I came across that picture a few weeks ago. I knew I was going to wind up doing something with that empty wall space.

Haole's picture

Really savvy supplemental wit incorporated in already razor sharp graphical commentary William, you just continue to get better an better.  I shudder to think how impressed I'll be when this whole fuckfest comes apart at the seams at street level in a neighborhood near us all.  Very best regards and continued thanks.

Jethro's picture

I have a request.  If Germany ever starts implementing a fiscal Anschluss, could you please make some art depicting Europeans walking through a gate with a sign on top that says "Arbeit Macht Schuldenfrei"?


williambanzai7's picture

Capital controls...


GMadScientist's picture

Ve haf vays of making you save tinks.

Walt D.'s picture

Eurocrat -


Ein Arsch mit Ohren


williambanzai7's picture


The Euro is showing a crack
The matador plans his attack
His masterful art
A sword through the heart
Should help bring the peseta back

The Limerick King

williambanzai7's picture


It's time to dispense with the bull
And remove from our eyes all the wool
Spain's fighting a bear
And Kleptos don't care
As long as their debt book is full

The Limerick King

Yes_Questions's picture



Matadoring for food PROHIBIDO!

resurger's picture

one word to you WB7,


disabledvet's picture

"Interesting game Professor. The only way to win is not to play." War Games.

PrintingPress's picture

How about a nice game of chess?

Yes_Questions's picture



You know, like all good stories, this one alluded to something other than the subject matter on the surface.  And eerily enough, the damn bot was the "voice" of reason.


GMadScientist's picture

Not the first "dinkum thinkum" in fiction.

slaughterer's picture

Banzai, this was one of your best yet.  

williambanzai7's picture



It's time to define "Eurocrat"
It's one who resembles a rat
Conceited and crass
With face like an ass
So words are not spoken - they're shat

The Limerick King


walküre's picture



Last weekends drama over the Spain "bailout", the market's stupid euphoria and the sad sad sell off marked the point of no return.

EVERYONE IS AWAKE NOW! The cabal screwed up BIG TIME!

hairball48's picture

ROFLMAO!! once more....I choked on my after dinner coffee when I scrolled to this one!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just too funny...and wonderful satire WmB7