williambanzai7's picture


If the rumors of European/ECB rating agency shenanigans are true, you may assume that the Great EURO Ponzi Race is coming to a close and Europe is rapidly approaching it's "Madoff Moment."



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Convolved Man's picture

This Draghi fellow is a real triple threat...


He tap dances around policy issues, juggles with funding rules and can perform magical feats of Euro levitation with no visible means of support.

No wonder he's a regular on the EU Gong Show; almost as talented as Gene Gene The Dancing Machine.

janus's picture

before i go climb into the cab for perhaps my last weekend therein (ahhh, i'll miss the ole cab), methinks janus should share some thoughts:

1) i'm abandoning the rock-star of markets thing:

this drinking has really taught me a lesson -- specifically, that i'm not cut out to do it with any sort of regularity.  moreover, i prefer sobriety and lucidity to the known alternatives.  

but besides all that, the whole mess was averse to my very nature:  i prefer suits to rock-and-roll regalia.  my tastes are decidedly bourgoise -- tennis & golf, bitchez.  i like mistresses more than one night stands.  and, above all else, i am at home in peace and quiet...none of this chaos, thank you.

don't get me wrong, i am an arch-villian.  oh ho ho ho...the villianiest, in fact.  (america, you need a legit arch-villian like never before.  how else do we conjure drama?)  only, i'm much more like the thank you for smoking dude, nick nailer.  my most pronounced aptitude is, well, they haven't a name for it, but if i were to phrase it in some way i'd say that janus is a world-class pisser in faces and then convincing those faces that it's rainin.

so, amorica, a lil dedication to ya:

2) i will be turning up the heat.  now, let me here say something.  some of you are reading janus who have no business tracing your eyes along my lines.  janus is NOT fit for mass consumption; and a weak sense of selfer can do real damage to his soul  by allowing ole janus access.  let me say it like this: if you get a sort of hopeless and vacuous feelin when you read janus, you are in great peril.  mwahahahahahaha!

i am the one momma warned you about, bitch.  the big-dogs are out...stay on the fuckin porch.

3) janus will now give you a synopsis of his 2011.  this way, maybe you'll appreciate my rage...maybe you'll gain a bit of sympathy for dis poor soul.  (i'll be telling many of these stories individually as time goes on; but i wanted you to know more of 'the story')

my first-born nearly dies.  a massive epidural hematoma almost did him in.  this occured at the same time i lost my restaurant.  we were tryin to hang on, but this near-death put the kibosh on all that.  anyway, so, at this point, janus begs any and all of his multitude of family, who all lived very close, to please come and give me comfort...i was in BAD need of such.

NOPE!  not a single muther fucker among them could be bothered.  except, of course, my pill-addeled mother; who is perpetually so chock-full of pharma that she rattles when she walks (thank you drug dealin pimps...oops, i mean 'doctors').  mother proceeded to redirect all concern in the PICU waiting area unto herself.  NO ONE is gonna out-suffer mother; at least not in her presense.  really, i cannot recall being so embarrassed.

so then i think i'll go back to school and start a new career.  you know, finally use some of those veterans benefits.  well, soon enough, i figured that that career was not right for me.  so i experienced a bit of the ole existential crisis.

all i did was write a few papers criticizing the education industry.  i mean, i looked around and saw a criminal racket -- the stench of which filled my nostrils with despair -- like smoke in the eyes and vinegar on the teeth.

for this i was expelled and tossed in a jail cell.  oh, and i'm currently wanted in the state of alabama for the high-crime of 'harassing communications'.  oh, professahs, you gonna git you some goddam harassing communications.  just you wait till janus takes the stage, mother fuckers.

the veterans administration then stripped me of my gi bill benefits; and i now owe them several thousand dollars for the privilege of the debacle described above.

so, then i get me a lawyer.  you know, fight from within the system, right?  nope! my lawyer goes and discusses my case with the very object of my suit.  i mean to say, GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL.  he then tries to bankrupt me by asking for yet MORE money; not knowing that i now knew what that snake was up to.  i will have you disbarred, bitch.  you craven, grandstanding demogauge.  gird thyself, j.m.

so in the course of all this, i develop some sort of nefarious hemmoroid.  it was a lil beast.  not trusting doctors, i attempted to deal with the thing all by myself (bad idea).  i ended up giving myself a vasal-reflex -- thought i almost died.  long story short, i goes to the VA hospital and was treated worse than the strayest, mangiest mutt imaginable.

so then i'm desperate.  i turn to family, faith and friends.  and in the immortal words of c montgomery burns, 'family, faith, friendships...these are the demons you must slay if you wish to make it in this world.'  i won't go into the details; i will only say that your true family are those you've met as a consequence of your experience.  these people with whom you share genetic material do not care, and if they do care, it's often contempt camoflaged as concern.  they get to have their, 'i told you so moments.'

there were many, many other trials and tribulations woven thoughout the fabric of 2011; and in due time, i'll cover many of them.  suffice it to say, the whole thing has made me incredibly strong.  i told my entire family to go fuck themselves, and that i had no plans to ever speak to them again -- best decision i ever made.

i've got to jump in the shower and go...sorry this was written in haste...just wanted to give you all a taste of what's to come.

the solstice nears.

darkness at the break of noon/

shadows even the silver spoon/

the hand-made blade, the child's baloon/

eclipses both the sun and moon/

to understand that you know too soon/

that there is no sense in tryin/

so don't fear, if you hear/

a foreign sound in your ear/

it's alright ma, i'm only dyin!,


covert's picture

if elections could make a difference they would be illegal.

Never One Roach's picture

At least we can now rest assured of 100% accurate ratings.  I was a littel skeptical of Moody's and S&P after the subprime mess.  I can sleep better now at night knowing my pension is safe.




williambanzai7's picture

Now I am obliged to do a EUROnator Pic ;-)

falak pema's picture

Three card monte, has been junked. Good riddence and goodbye Moody, Fitch and S&P, you were blind as bats in 2008 and crony subservient tools of banksta cabal subsequently. But...Lord Draghi of Dracula castle now wants to name his own pet vampire in the place of the three card monte. Wow, now its gonna be the vampire's ball every night if we don't bring some garlic and fire and brimstone to this outfit! 

Where can we find an honest bond broker, who does not jump to the ECB whip nor respond to the Banksta poker, like a WS joker from under the deck of cards? Pokes and jokes apart, we need a brand new ball game where the ponzi market is laid to rest and we grow a brand new set of cojones which are not spawned by the Squid hatchery. 

Miracles do occur in Frodo's middle-earth, but in Euroland, are we in Mordor land or is that on the other side of the pond?

Some say Mordor is Stromboli simmering...ghost of Ingrid B not far away! 

Boxed Merlot's picture

The guy on the far right with the Spock hand signal, isn't that Doc from back to the future?  Which one of the trilogy is this photo from?  And shouldn't that Kenyan's picture be fading?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I've got $500 Trillion on Germany to come from behind and win BIG.

Wake me when the race to the bottom is over.

Never One Roach's picture

CD, I see your $500 trill and raise you a quadrillion.

Uchtdorf's picture

I'm all in with my brazilian.

uno's picture

the Kenyan dude looks stoned

Nobody For President's picture

Interesting that Ms Merkel is in the second row of the G20(12) photo, hiding behind the US President, perhaps?

malikai's picture

If I was at one of them G20 meetings, I'd fart at the dinner table.

Liquid Courage's picture

But would you opt for the "Loud and Proud" tactic or the more strategic "Silent But Deadly" approach?

malikai's picture

Loud and proud. But of course, I would look at the guy sitting next to me afterword.

azzhatter's picture

and I would piss on Barosso

The Big Ching-aso's picture



What's with them raising their hands?  What R they expecting an imaginary High-5?

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Hercules - Going the Distance


I have often dreamed,
Of a far off place,
Where a great warm welcome,
Will be waiting for me.

Where the crowds will cheer,
When they see my face,
And a voice keeps saying,
'This is where I'm meant to be'.

I will find my way,
I can go the distance,
I'll be there someday,
If I can be strong, I know every mile,
Will be worth my while,
I would go most anywhere,
to feel like I belong.

I am on my way,
I can go the distance,
I don't care how far,
Somehow I'll be strong,
I know every mile,
Will be worth my while,
I would go most anywhere,
to find where I belong.