williambanzai7's picture


It has now been slightly more than two years since I did the original version of this table. It was one of the first Banzai7 works reposted by Tyler Durden. Much has happened since then. Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse. The blatant pattern of organized criminal fraud on Wall Street has continued unabated.

The Banksta perps and their reckless, feeble and/or complicit executive managers have not been brought to justice by the incumbant clown circus and nothing leads us to believe that this state of affairs will somehow be reversed until the next economic collapse is truly upon us.

In the meantime, let us not allow anyone to perpetuate the deception that Barrack or Mitt Obamney are anything other than what they are:

A Wall Street Pimp and a Banksta Ho connected at the hip!

When judgement day does finally arrive, let the crony banksta perps and their Washington protectors know, that for them, justice will not turn a blind eye.



The Banks have a Pimp and a Ho
Some spice for their new puppet show
These two fornicators
Are simply inflators
Whose policies help Bankstas grow

The Limerick King







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Zero Govt's picture

just brilliant again B7  ...Thanks :)

TideFighter's picture

Bravo, Wild Bill

golf clap.

Rearranging Deckchairs's picture

Nice periodic table of crooks!  Is it just me or did Hank "give me 700 Billion or we'll have martial law" Paulson escape this list?

Rearranging Deckchairs's picture

BTW my favorite element has got to be Horseshitium for Standard and Poors. Chuckled pretty hard at that one.


Where's the family guy character to say in his foreign accent "a oohhh it's funny cause its true"

The Big Ching-aso's picture



Where's Stupidium the most common element?


*Had this been a table of minerals, Douchebagenite likewise would be most common.

ebworthen's picture

I especially like the guillotines and rope.

Bankster hegemony dun killed the goose.

Obamney works for the Bankster Gangsters.

The People are Lambs to the slaughter, unless they find their inner Lion.

Praetor's picture

Fantastic, not sure by design or just lucky WB7, when compared to the true periodic table you have placed the worst criminals (i.e most toxic)  in the halogen group on the right.

Dont forget these elements are held together by the arseholium force and are known to combine into some interesting criminal compounds when their outer douchebags interact.

janus's picture

i think it's time we endeavor another Bible lesson, you godless pagans.  

did you know that democracy is in Scipture discussed?  yup, it's all in there -- God saw it, and He did thereupon scowl...and it was a most unpleasant and very sour scowl indeed.  it all started with two young men; each with differing priorities.  saul, the first king of israel, is introduced in Scipture as one out frantically searching for his father's see, they'd escaped; and they were at the time in saul's custody; which made him responsible...what a jackass.  

david, the second king, was at first forgotten, even by his father (jesse, son of boaz), who, as per the bidding of samuel the prophet, produced the first six of his sons.  you see, God told samuel that there was a king living under jesse's roof; and jesse was enthusiastic at the prospect.  at the time, however, the chance that it may be young david did not even occur to him.  all six of the elder sons were rejected; seems they didn't measure annointing for these sorry slobs.

if you're trying to skip ahead, i'll go ahead and reveal who would be the future king of israel: it's david...didn't see that commin; did ya?  well, where was young david at this time?  out dutifully tending his father's sheep; that's where.  tending sheep, knockin down lions and bears with his sling-shot (and no doubt an occasional squirrl or opossum)...just enjoyin the pastoral splendor of it all.  long story short, they go and fetch him; annoint him future king and wish him well in all his future endeavors.

it didn't happen for david right away; it was a long slog through democracy before he could claim what was rightfully his.  you see, saul was "the people's choice"...again, a real jackass.  it was said he was exceptionally tall and handsome; but little else that was said about him was very flattering.  in fact, you get the sense that he's something of an incipid dullard...a sour-puss and a whiner.  a bumbling incompetent. a vain coward.  your typical politican.

fret not, faithful reader, a more legitimate government awaits the people of israel...bettah in all ways.

david's ascent to the throne is one of the best stories of all should check it out.  i won't spoil the rest of it for you; but what i will do is flesh-out the concept in more elaborate terms -- by that i mean, be awesome with words and the ideas they form.

what does God intend to teach us with this cruel spectacle called democracy?  well, really, lots of stuff.  first thing that comes to mind is that people, collectively at least, cannot define merit in positive terms; only negatively.  in other words, politicians and popularity contest winners are invariably 'not' certain things, usually a list of mutually agreed upon no-nos that offend an aggregate sensibility....they are the least offensive and most boring among men.  the most ineffectual.  the most craven.  the most gutless.  it really is unfair, america:  how can you freight such an expectation on such spineless sophists as these?  do you really expect professional problem makers to suddenly morph into problem solvers?  have you all gone mad?  i suspect that you have.

going nowhere/

going nowhere

the most patriotic thing you can do this november is stay home and watch cartoons.  and in the mean-time encouraging everyone you know to likewise avoid this farce of an election could be fairly likened to paul revere's midnight ride -- or something demonstraing pluck and derring-do from some other era in history.  just imagine, you could have a hand in saving the free world just by refusing to participate in the tyranny of certain 'voting coalitions'.  you, good-honest american, are their prey; and you show up for slaughter with predictable credulity and all-around dopiness.  i guess it's not your fault; but i blame you all the same.

you believe in competition, don't you?  well, let's allow for competing ideas.  democracy was not delivered to moses on stone is the product of man's mind -- ours was frightfully good for a good spell...but it was articulated for an era and a people who no longer exist -- and there is nothing even remotely like them today.  janus is in no way suggesting we discard the good that has come; only that it should be grafted in with the new -- and the new is this: less.  less and less and less of everything resembling government.  less and less (and clearly written) laws; less and less politicians; less and less...

take schools for example:  with this lil internet thingy, even the most dim-witted dullard of a 'voter' can see that the traditional brick-and-morter school house is not going to survive.  one can easily access the best teachers around with the click of a mouse.  'professional' teachers will return to a luxury of the wealthy...this is only the beginning.  people will have to find new ways to become productive; but i have absolute confidence in their ingenuity and resolve.  we've come a long way through the millenia; and way too many of us have died at the hands of history's governments.  

i think the future is very bright indeed.  but first, we must find a way to end, once and for all, our arrangement with those who seek to 'govern' us.  

i think we've given you more than enough of a chance; and i cannot imagine how you could have fucked things up more spectacularly.  it's a goddam shame...

i wanna be in that number,




williambanzai7's picture

Stay home and watch cartoons...sounds good to me!

janus's picture (i just realized that (rather accidentially) i totally stole this motif from the simpsons for use in my beer tribute...i made it my own and everything; but, still, gotta give some credit to homer -- oh, WildBill, i hate to be the one to tell you this, but matt groenig and rupert murdoch are gonna want their pound of flesh over this blatant copyright violation.) (i don't have to be careful, i've got a gun...)

TaxSlave's picture

Very well said, janus.

piceridu's picture

I laughed, I cried...I laughed, I cried...

Demogorgon's picture

I have a love/hate relationship with your work WB...

I love the creativity, relevance and execution of your creations...absolutely brilliant. But I hate that they remind me of how utterly screwed we are.

Keep up the great work.

williambanzai7's picture

I'm not surprised. I have a love hate relationship with my work ;-)

bluemaster's picture

Anyone interested to put some money to publish your work . I am first in

janus's picture


this amazing set is most certainly food-for-thought...and so i sit here thinking mostly about food.

we'll call this'n random thoughts 2:

the last few days have abused ole janus something awful; i think i'm gonna blot them from the calender some day.  the blight on my otherwise sunny-disposition assumed the form of an especially savage upset stomach.  it really has me doubting my future prospects for happiness...i mean, supposin it comes back -- what then?  some may casually toss out bland and useless suggestions like medication or antacid; such people have no place in decent society.  medicine, antacid...fie on all that rot.  the road to hell is broad and paved with generous doses of medication and antacid.  it's the easy way, bitchez...the road that leadeth unto destrcution.

you see, i want to get to the quick of the issue; none of this symptom-supression for janus.  pain is a most potent and visceral brand of Truth...i call it Pruth...when pain is the teacher, you really learn your fuckin lesson.  cause pain says, 'now, don't make me come back here and bitch-slap you around the room again...and you know i will; and i'll enjoy it, too.'  as you can see, pain and janus have much in common.

my first suspect on the trail tracing effect back to cause was the much maligned and too-easy-to-blame buddy i always keep close by -- beer.  we said our tearfully sincere adieus and parted ways; both of us thinking this might be it...and after all we've been through.  hell, he's seen me through virginity, childbirth, deaths, graduations, wars -- life has been there for me like no one else.  and one lil ole upset stomach and i was ready to kick him to the curb.  shame on janus for his want of fealty to the frothy amber, the ambrosia of the demi-gods: beer.

Ben Franklin: "beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- so there you have it.  nothing to implicate beer and a host of unqualified praise from ben and janus...cheers, B Franklin!

just to be on the safe side i switched to wine for a couple of days -- and i figured that, at the very least, beer & janus will benefit from the ole absense=more fondness principal.  i committed to drinking no more than two bottles of wine per night, but in spite of my parsimony and moderated consumption, dante's furnace was being stoked by some super-industrious demons in my gullet -- they were probably mexicans, but it's difficult to positively asscertain these things (demons are a very occult lot, after all).

so, all the while this ethnically nonspecific group of devils were toilin away, i'm sittin here watchin cooking shows and wishing i had an appetite...none is yet forthcomming.  anyway, i end up watching two episodes of jamie oliver's food revolution.  i've mentioned this guy before (and i guess i should here pause and give props to gordon ramsey -- janus's hero of the world of food); and there was a reason, and it's the same reason i'm mentioning him again.  that reason is as follows: the show is emblematic of everything that's wrong with the american system.  it's calcified and cancerous -- everyone knows it's toxic; yet none can or will change it because so many depend on the sustained and perpetually reinforced dogma of its ruinous 'regulations'.  it's fucking madness!!!  i mean, in order to serve children nutritous and delicious food you have to go to absolute war.  no reasonable argument can be made against his proposals; and yet every imaginable resistance is from every angle assailing him.  what the fuck, people!

now, this being the case in something so simple as school lunches, just imagine what kind of herculean force is required to change our bumbling bureacratic institutions -- you know, the big ones, the ones that start with Department of...; those who've accrued unto their labyrinth layer after layer after layer of insulation from the forces of common sense and decency.  america's present system is the goddam gordian knot of governments...and, puzzle and ponder over it all you want, the most effective way...hell, the ONLY uncoil that serpent is with a sharp and deliberate blow from a finely honed blade.  just ask alexander.  untie it?  best of luck with that.

the show also demonstrates how averse average-folk are to clear-minded-reason.  hell, they think healthy food grown by traditional means is some sort of communist plot -- set to despoil all the deviant machinations of our glorious ag-chem industry...God bless those boys!  you make america proud; what with your suicide seeds, patented genes and frankenstien-feed, you boys are goddam golden.  joe-six-pack & mary-margurita really do believe that our nation's institutions have some nobility remaining; they've allowed themselves to trust that they are something other than a putrified catacomb of the idle and unambitious...good for nothing, proud of it and always ready with a shrill and haltingly lame justification for their existance.

it comes down to an issue of faith, and the average man's faith in this system must be shattered.  the idols he worships must be tossed in the bonfire of the vanities.  hope in what has been must sour and ferment to despair...'like smoke in the eyes; like vinegar on the teeth.'  all the tumblers are falling into line...everything is set and past the point of reversal.   an object in motion tends to stay in motion until acted upon by an outside force.  the momentum propelling collapse is now insuperable.  time to start anticpating the enemy and forming our arguments.

which brings me back to food and its nemisis, indigestion.  i think i've mentioned my predeliction for bread, meat and cheese; but i'm also aware of their deficiencies...which is why i leave all matters of food, health and nutrition up to my wife.  i have absolutley no confidence in my own capacity to make sound decisions in these regards (at least as far as my own welfare is concerned).  so, i'm not drinking and i'm on a fast of's clearing up nicely, and only the best sort of bird and butterfly have been flitting about.  

all of which leads me to a much grander and loftier sort of terrain:

what form of government should future promise?  an association of sorts -- sort of an aristocracy of the noble-minded and pure hearted.  i know this sounds trite and whatnot...but, believe it or not, many such people exist; they are brilliant, usually fairly assertive, and generally highly competent.  and at this point we can say, with a high degree of confidence, that they are not to be found in our nation's universites.  many of them dropped out of said universities; and most of the rest mock the majority of their experience therein (well, everything but the booze and bitchez, that is).

i'll be getting into more detail with respect to the idea above in the very near; but for now i'm gonna share some new music i found.  good stuff, too:

in the daylight,




TaxSlave's picture

Your writing is always a delight to read, janus.

Lately I've come across a school of thought that claims we bipeds were not evolved on a diet of grass seeds, though we are built to tolerate it during hard times until we can get back to more meaty, leafy, and root-y things.  Seems this idea has been expanded upon to come up with a concept of insulin resistance, wherein the constant insult of blood sugar spikes from eating grains and sugars causes the insulin to be chronically high, and proof is sought to show the high insulin levels as the culprit for all kinds of maladies like pudginess and inflammation in the arteries, etc.

Anyway I got a little bit of a wake-up call where a visit to the doc for a checkup resulted in the news that I would forevermore be sentenced to a daily diet of blood sugar reducing and blood pressure reducing drugs, with statins thrown in for good measure.  That was enough for me.  I took the medicine like a good boy but went off searching for a way to be free of that life sentence.

The short version of the story is that I cut sugars, grains, and starches down to a fraction of their former intake levels, and ate proteins and natural fats to satisfy my hunger instead, without being religious about any of it.  The pounds began to melt off, I began to feel better, and when my stats normalized, I quit taking the goddam drugs.

Anyway, to the point relating to your story: I had been a chronic antacid eater for years, since my late teens.  Acid reflux or just fulminant insolence or some such.  Well, just about the minute I quit eating sugars and starches, the indigestion just went away.  Wow.  An unexpected bonus. 

Enjoy that daylight,


PS -- I oughtta add without any expertise or any qualification for doing so that it sounds like you might've gotten a little bug, here's hoping it passes uneventfully.

janus's picture

i tend to agree with your thoughts on the evolution of the human diet and the effects of transitioning to modern meals.  

sugars are, it seems, my worst enemy as well...especially these compulsion-making mexican coca colas -- i could easily move through 6 a day if i allowed myself the indulgence.

and, finally, thank you for the good-word...i am likewise a fan of yer stuff.

peace & prosperity,



williambanzai7's picture

I think I have to do an expanded version ;-)

F. Bastiat's picture

Well done, sir. Well done.

brown_hornet's picture

Blythe should be Agnauseum.

calgal's picture


You forgot Ina Clawback Drew

RocketmanBob's picture

Another awesome exposition Banzai7. Thanks for a few yuks for this day...

Coke and Hookers's picture

Barryum should have been called Puppetium. It can mask any matter with Bullshittium to look like Hopium.

Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

2/5 for your inclusion of Rand. Might as well have put Rothbard up there. Otherwise good.

williambanzai7's picture

Was Greenspan a follower of Rothbard? (sarc)

Lost Wages's picture

Who is Cannabis Head and why?

williambanzai7's picture

Jimmy Cayne, a known pot head.

Lost Wages's picture

Glad there was someone on Wall St doing something besides coke. Makes me realize that I too can run a bank into the ground.

Ganja Jane's picture

I love the hanged bankster.


Benjamin Glutton's picture

I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my BONUS...


last words of JPM CEO Nathan Hale of a Bankster.

BeetleBailey's picture

Brilliant WB...simply brilliant

jack stephan's picture

"Because I felt like it" hahahaha wb7, Wall street pimp and banksta ho has that comic book feel, slick.

Bastiat's picture

What did Gollum do to deserve that?

Major-Seventh's picture

Absolutely focken hilarious - great work as usual!!

Never One Roach's picture

You do justice to the Corleone family......cheers!

tony bonn's picture

do you have boveum in there?

don't forget the bush crime syndicate dons - junior, senior (no offense to the band), cheney, and rumsfeld, and greedscam


williambanzai7's picture

Greenspan is in there, the other guys are not related to finance.

dexter_morgan's picture

ah yes, once eyeglases placed firmly on head I can see! Where is that man now days anyways?

infotechsailor's picture

......... And why, exactly, would you put Ayn Rand in there ? nutjob? What did you start watching MSNBC? i guess you could toss her in with Ron Paul, Peter Schiff, Murray Rothbard, von Mises, and Hayek... all the 'nutjobs' advocating a free market instead of corporate socialism

Ayn Rand Mike Wallace interview 1959:

NeedtoSecede's picture

All you schmucks with the down arrows will you please just chill out a little.  Until the day you can bring us something of equal creativity, just stick your down arrows where the sun don't shine. 

The Periodic table is brilliant WB7.  Keep it up.

williambanzai7's picture

That's a song: Keep Your Down Arrows Where the Sun Don't Shine ;-)