ReGaRDiNG CiTiZeN BaiN...

williambanzai7's picture


Skeletons all in a row
That Mitt doesn't want you to know
The election's in doubt
If these all get out
It's hard to wrap shit with a bow

The Limerick King





















"We've given you people all you need to know..." --Ann Romney



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bluepill08's picture

Why so much hate for Ann Romney?  She didn't even say it!  Heres the link to ABC news, "and we've given all our people"


PulpCutter's picture

According to WSJ, Mitt has between $25 million and $102 million in his IRA, raising the question of how one would accumulate that much, given the $30K/year limit on contributions.  At the least, he generated a 20-bagger; at most it's something like 100x-200x.  Either some REALLY sharp investing, or some games.  The WSJ article did say most of it is in Bain-structured investment vehicles, meaning that it's possible Mitt had Bain manipulate the price of the things he invested in. My suspicion is that he found a method to waaaaaaay understate the value of the assets - e.g., shares in some deal Bain had just put together - when he was putting them into the IRA.

Apparently the offshore accounts are a legal way of avoiding taxes on the IRA funds:

Under current tax law, anybody investing an IRA in a private-equity fund, as Mr. Romney did, would likely incur a hefty special tax on "unrelated business income," also known as UBIT. This tax, assessed at a maximum 35% rate, is meant to discourage tax-exempt entities such as an IRA, pension plan or endowment fund from unfairly competing with for-profit, taxpaying entities by operating a business without paying taxes on it. Investing in a partnership that uses debt to buy companies would trigger the tax, experts said.

It isn't known whether Mr. Romney paid UBIT. His filings suggest use of a strategy involving offshore funds sometimes employed to avoid it, according to several experts.

One method used by tax lawyers is to have the IRA invest through an offshore affiliate of the private-equity firm, known as an offshore blocker corporation, which in turn invests the same money in the private-equity partnership. The tax is avoided because the IRA technically is investing in the offshore corporation, not in a private-equity partnership.

Tax experts say that might explain why Mr. Romney's IRA includes holdings in Bain entities based in offshore locations, including one Cayman Islands entity that Mr. Romney listed as having a value between $5 million and $25 million.

Michael Knoll, a University of Pennsylvania law professor, said using offshore blocker corporations to avoid UBIT "is a form of tax planning that happens all the time."

Asked about the offshore investments in Mr. Romney's IRA, his aide said they were "in compliance with rules created to keep it tax deferred, just like it was intended to be."






dannynewmexico's picture

all priceless

ITrustMyGut's picture

William.. you so rock, man! thanks for the chuckles..

overmedicatedundersexed's picture

to bill w: how about the same for citizen O BUM A? this is a test

janus's picture


your lil visual screed got me sort-a set the ole noodle into overdrive viz. a subject that i tend to dwell on too much.  and if there's a single subject that gets me fired up like none other, it's the various things in life that piss me off.  yes, today i will be discussing a hot-topic: Things Janus Does Not Like.

i will today mediate two disperate subjects; and i will, before your very eyes, meld them into a single alloy.  i will unify two horrid things into a totem of gnarly ennui.  now, i know you entertain positive mental associations as regards alloys and such -- marvel of science...blah, blah, blah.  imagine a really useless and, yes, perhaps even toxic alloy.  maybe like mercury and arsenic from a chinese children's toy.  you know, something that may make you turn your head in revulsion and possibly change your attitude on the subject of alloys forever.  that's what i'm here attempting to do.

Subject The First:

fat and/or ugly women.  i don't want to give you the wrong impression, not all the women that i loathe are fat and/or ugly; far from it, my brotherz.  some of them amble about the world camoflaged in a coil of quasi-foxiness; deceiving many, they go about their lives spreading plague, decay and dissatisfaction.  these are your typical demonessess.  and by the same token, i tend to favor a goodly share of women that i would otherwise have no interest in whatsoever.  in other words: i wouldn't bed them, but they posess a certain set of, shall we say, less tangible charms.

but if any purpose is to be served from the reading of my sour ruminations, we should stay focused.  so we'll focus on an ill-defined but ever so useful (for our purposes) constiuent of the fairer sex -- Women I Couldn't Conceive Of Fucking.  you know how all true ZHealots love an acronym?  well, janus has now made his first contribution: WICCOFs.  

if you're having difficulty picturing this gang of googly-eyed & fish-faced freaks, imagine an asile in wal-mart.  you're trying to make it to the other end of the asile.  instead, you're impeded by the hypnotic swaying of this lumbering beast in front of you.  you can't just stroll around her...oh good-God, no!  it's as if you're in some underwater world on some level of Zelda, and you've got to perfectly time your leap through a tiny gap before the waddling gastropod crushes you up against the dorito bin...and you're never heard from again.  and then you've made it!  alas, only to find yourself wading through her portly brood of young en's.  you take note of these children; and you're wounded by what you take note of.  the odor is, i suppose, the first thing...second would be the fact that they don't necessarily sweat so much as they leak grease.  this is something of one particular subset of the WICCOF.

another subset would be the just-plain-ugly WICCOFs (but not necessarily fat).  these bitches are usually ugly on the inside; and eventually Time, as it is wont to do, reconciles whatever fleeting beauty youth may have temporarily yeilded to the ugliness within.  if i've seen it once, i've seen it a thousand times.  it can most freely be observed in the world of academia -- its natural habitat (the humanities are in this wise particularly afflicted); and just as frequently it is found spreading despair and enmity in middle managment.  i often take a certain impish pleasure in sharing a little joke with women such as these (of course i assure them that the joke doesn't refer to them at all...heaven forefend!), and it goes like this: question -- "what happens to women after they lose their looks?" answer -- "nothing."   now, use it sparingly, ZHealots...that lil zinger really cuts to the quick.  

recent events have left old janus with no choice.  I won't here test your pateince and relate the story of "Janus & The Final Straw viz. The Ole WICCOFs"...but you can rest assured i'm more than justified.  i've spent a lifetime fending-off their ceaseless and pitiless attacks...the games are at an more mr. nice janus...i am officially declaring war on WICCOFs.

wanna know why?  well, naturally, this agression will not stand, man:

yup, it's come to this.  really, though, i think it'll be a cinch.  i've yet to meet anyone worth knowing that didn't share my feelings regarding WICCOFs.  i mean, everyone hates the typical fat and/or ugly woman.  half the battle is fought already.  hell, they hate themselves.  ever seen two fat women together?  didn't think so.  they'd eat each other for one thing.  

okay, i'm going to say something that may shock may rock you to your very foundations; but here it goes anyway:  fat and/or ugly women are responsible for the collapse of our once-great democracy.  ever since these bitches started parading around, busting liquor bottles and prohibiting imbibing (all the while they were sippin laudnum), promoting eugenics, demanding their sacred franchise, nag, nag, nag...ever since we allowed fat and/or ugly women to vote, america has progressively lost its way.  i say this cause i want you to remember who to blame when it all comes unwound.  not janus, he's not a goddam WICCOF; he had no share in the deliberate destruction of our blessed democratic institutions...he's just the match to ignite the gas-soaked tinderbox.

now, i'm not saying we should have had some sort of test to prevent the WICCOFs from voting; rather, we could employ some system to objectively evaluate them, point out their flaws and short-commings, then use these things as a basis for the well-warrented withdrawal of their 'sacred franchise' know, keep the bad eggs out.  either that or we could hold a massive nag-a-thon in tandem with the polls -- they'd nevah pass on an epic open-air nagging to end all naggings.  yup, at this point, only the ole WICCOF nag-a-thon ruse could save democracy...but i don't think america has the stomach for such.

too late now, anyway.

so, right, i promised you two things that displease me.  so, without further ado, the second shitty thing:

keynsian monetary policy:

nope, got no use for the stuff...worthless as far as i'm concerned.  now, i may have at some time in the past mentioned the fact that john maynard keynes was a sodomite.  i discovered this while reading some of his personal correspondence.  i must say, it did kink the ole eyebrow a bit at first; but then i thought better of it.  'nope', janus sez to himself, 'nuthin suprisin at all about keynes's propensity for sodomy.'  

it's like this, keynes belongs to a certain subset of the sodomite; it's a very annoying subset.  the kind that starts every sentence with the word "actually"; as if everything they have to say is an amendment to something you've already i was saying, highly annoying.  let me try to here elaborate.

there are many among the various ranks of sodomites who make for exceptional conversationalists...very cultured lot are the sodomites.  and for the civilized and dignified among them, keynes represents a sort of WICCOF.  he's something of a sniveling and phlematic bitch within their ranks.  a know-it-all and obnoxiously fastidious cocksucker...not to mention ugly as the yeild on the spanish 10Y.  i mean to say, john maynard keynes makes krugman look like adonis (no, krugman, you may not take that as a janus, and this is admitidly subjective, your face conjures the image of a rat suffering from dysentery, or possibly cholera).  

don't worry, i'm going to tie all this back in together; don't believe me?  it's gettin close...

so, besides the fact that keynes, just generally as a human being, sucks and is widely viewed as a diseased blister of unpleasantness; there is this matter of his theory.  basically, this leprosy lame-brain posits thusly: 'uhhhmm, actually, if you'd have done thus-and-such (print, print, print.) we'd all be strollin down lolly-pop lane.'

and, on its surface, this statement, taken independently, ain't so bad.  it happens all the time...some limp-dick professah breeches containment and poisons the public with the fruits of his feeble and untested intellect.  so what? some may say.  well, in this case, the limp-dick professah cultivated an army of like-minded poison-peddlers (who were in turn funded by the very forces who stood to gain most from the implementation of this foul rot...crazy the coincidence, no?).  and so, we've structured our MONEY SYSTEM, the very lifeblood of society/nationhood itself, on the specious gargling of a worthless academic.

now, if this system had tendrals stretching back through history; if, i should say, we had some analogous system of fiat from the past that was an unqualified sucess, i'd say hip-hip...let's give the ole sport a try.  but every single example cited by keynes was a failure...he could only cite evanescant eras within the fundamentally flawed iterations of this nefarious system to hold up as examples.  well, of course it can work for a short time...the system is based on faith, which is established by sound money; the faith is then manipulated by fiateers...then the return to sound money after the inevitable collapse.

and so here we are keynsians.  your whole system is a feculent heap of "actually, if only the fed had done more to..."  bullshit, i say.  it's like saying that we should build more and more houses to combat the decline in housing sales.  you academics are a sorry lot, you know that?  i mean, you are just a hot-mess of shit...really.  just pathetic.

in the interest of bottling the ends, i will say that keynsian economists are professional naggers...just like their loathsome counterparts, the WICCOF...they are a pox on america.  they are like the film at the bottom of a gym-shower, only worse. 

so this is why i can no longer abide democracy: it's a bunch of WICCOFs voting a bunch of keynsians into office.  this just won't do, america.

Jesus don't cry,


ZackAttack's picture

Awesome as always WB7.

I think the most likely things he's hiding are either:

a) His returns past 1999 show Bain as his employer

b) Bruce's theory that he got financially crushed in 2008-2009 and paid zero taxes because of loss carryovers

c) the odd way that hedge fund managers are allowed to treat the bulk of their income as long-term capital gains

None of it's illegal, just impolitic.

BeetleBailey's picture

Over and over again, I say to myself:


......then I remind myself it's the criminal douchebag banks and fucking bastard-asshole corporations that are REALLY running things......and revert back to my own "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE" plan.....and pity the fucktards that stump for either Obama the Cunt, or Romney the freshly Tasered Doofus.

Widowmaker's picture

Why are you crying?

America has not one fucking thing to do with "people."

It's all "business" all the time.  If you aint a business you don't exist.  You don't have money you don't exist, either.


ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture









Yen Cross's picture

 Bonzai-7 You know , just like I know!

Joseph Jones's picture

Am I the only one who actually watched David Lynch's "Eraserhead?"  About thirty years ago a group of ten people assembled to watch a movie.  Nobody knew I brought Eraserhead in VHS.  After a few minutes they started grumbling, "Who brought in this POS?"  They looked at me and said my name in unison.

Made me so proud!   

janus's picture

david foster wallace wrote an outstanding review of david lynch's velvet is worthwhile and at times it's awesome.  dune is strange and convoluted.  eraserhead is, well, it's just eraserhead.  on the one hand it tends to meander and whatnot, on the other hand it features a gollum; so there you have it -- bizarre and tangential meandering balanced against a gollum-child.

david lynch is hit or miss...david foster wallace, on the other hand, is always top-shelf.

dennis hopper at his absolute finest!



williambanzai7's picture

That is an example of a work of dubious aesthetic appeal, but apparent cultural/cult significance. I just like the way he uses color and light and some of his images are iconic for their period.

toncuz's picture

Right...let's a elect some rich creep you refuses to pay taxes during two wars while US soldiers are losing life and limb to protect this pig TRAITOR'S wealth.

hangemhigh77's picture

Only in Amerika, land of avarice and greed pawned off as capitalizm can a pos  who takes a pic of himself with hundreds stuffed in his fat mouth that he got from throwing families out on the street, run for Puppident of the USA. Gos Bless Amerika? If this is His idea of blessing the USA then Satan is God.  Who to choose from? Shit Rombot or Barf Oboner?  I pass.

StychoKiller's picture


engineertheeconomy's picture


andrewp111's picture

Mr. Mittens is a human-sized white cat with black paws. He has to wear masks and makeup when he appears in public. He has dozens of Mormon henchmen who carry massive amounts of firepower under their business suits and flower lapel pins. But I would still rather have Mr. Mittens in the White House than Obozo.

williambanzai7's picture

There is no such thing as lesser of two evils.

These two are the same puppet clowns wearing different suits.

They can jump around and make funny noises as long as their masters hold the strings.

divide_by_zero's picture

Maybe you ought to investigate Obama's Bain connection a bit more, like Jonathan Lavine, managing director at Bain(you know when the GST layoffs, offshoring etc went down), a bundler for Obama and likely not the only one though both candidates have I'm sure. 

If indeed there is no such thing as the lesser of 2 evils I would expect that there would be equal criticism of the 2 candidates however except for debt brother, there is hardly even a peep on the plethora of Obama admin scandals; the myriad of donor solar companies that have bellied up, Fast and Furious gun running leading to deaths of 2 US agents plus ~170 Mexicans, the list goes on. The executive orders alone should scare the crap out of any sane person.

What I typically see in your work is a re-hashing of White House/Media Matters/MSNBC/HuffPoo/Soros talking points. WB, Water Boy for Soros it seems. 

kraschenbern's picture

 @ WB7:  re "...masters...", The mental image evoked inspires this question of you:  In this sandbox we live in, called "the world", what hierarchy of puppetmasters do you see?   

engineertheeconomy's picture


just thought that warrented repeating

The false media can only count to 2 (two). It may come as a shock to some people, but there actually are numbers that go still even higher than 2, like for example 3, 4 and 5. It's not exactly like I'm asking America to think outside the box here. I'm just saying there are more than two candidates to choose from.

It may be time to remove the blinders America

Money 4 Nothing's picture

Bain Corp. researching Mitt Romneys association with a now bankruot company he made millions off.


They were an arbritrage house, period. Leverage Corps to their eyeballs and they will default, remember that old movie Other Peoples Money? Kinda like that. 

Jumbotron's picture

OMG.....Carly Zombie


steelrules's picture

WTF does it matter if you elect the right hand of Rothchild or the left hand of Rothchild, we're Phucked either way.

StychoKiller's picture


world_debt_slave's picture

I still here those that say vote between two evils, evil is evil so you vote for one evil or the other evil. I hold to my principles and vote for neither evil.

Money 4 Nothing's picture

But... Mericans would rather here their fucked by a rich white guy, not a rich beigeish? brown guy.

ozzzo's picture

I was going to vote for Obamney but the cartoons changed my mind; now I am voting for Rombama!

New_Meat's picture

WB7, I'm pissing my pants (actually, not, 'cuz I took care of that before even opening this thread.  Thank the gods ;-)

However, I'd like to inject a bit of fact for all y'all who are a) not citizens of the Commonwealth and b) if you are, you still have memories that resemble Alzheimers through various chemical "adjustments" that you might have made (which, we find out, enable positive response to SSDI payments upon application to the .gov).

I know, as do all responsible adults and aware children, the actual income into the Romney household during his stint as the Govenah.

That number is $4.00 for his entire term.

For the math-impaired, that resolves into ... wait for it ... $1.00 (US) per year for each of the four years.  one per each.  got that?

During the FDR admin, why, the "Dollar-a-year-men" were celebrated, especially when it mattered during WWII.

- Ned

{junksta' pukes--bring it: on facts?  Pussies.}


uncle_vito's picture

Go easy on Mitts.  Rather have him than Obozo.

New_Meat's picture

uncle_vito, you taught us all that we had to be tough, we had to defend our honor, we all understood that.

We knew that they would come at us, and you trained us to be strong.  And you taught us to stand up to the continuing attacks.

Because youi taught us that if we left any weakness, and it was uncorrected, then weakness would lead to defeat.

But, well, we've also been talking to Uncle Vince.  I know that you two agree on almost everything, except the incident with "Maria", but he's explained his philosophy:

So I give you a reddie, 'cuz you are showing no fucking clue.

- Ned


The They's picture

Well done Banzai! this is one of my favorite posts by you in a while.  Also that limeric is gold

FleaMarketPete's picture

"You've got to elect the Rozombie to find out what is in his tax returns..."

At least it didn't take him 4 years to come up with a fake birth certificate.

MFL8240's picture

He at least has a past we can reference.

nmewn's picture

Well hell...I'll take the other side of this, just

If I were Mitties campaign manager I would say sure...we'll release another year of tax returns when O'Barry drops executive privilege on Fast & Furious. We'll release another year of tax returns when he releases his Occidental admission papers & grades.

And so on ;-)

New_Meat's picture

I'm with ya'  I've been thinking that the Mittsterz should drop his transcripst at Havhad (you know, the MBA, meh, but the JD too (in Our Dear President's face) (and oh, by the way, those two degrees were done at the same time, don't cha' know).

Sorta' like "I'll see you that and raise my actual history".

- Ned

{"Now, don't you call my bluff" -- Our Dear President}

nmewn's picture

We need more poker playas and less B-ball fouls in this game ;-)

O'Barry is followiing the only plan in the book that has even a remote chance of success...diversion and contortion of reality with the help of a complicit, tenured, state media complex.

Today: Tony Rezko.

Then: Bebe Rebozo.

Today: Your honors of the Supreme Court, this is a tax, lawfully signed by the President.

Then: No George, its not a tax.

Today: I killed Bin Laden.

Then: Thanks Mr. Ayers.

Today: Romney is a mormon.

Then: Rev Wright.

Its really quite interesting watching the pretzel

jay28elle's picture

"We've given you people all you need to know..." --Ann Romney

Can't agree more, Ann. 

Everything's freaking relative, and when you consider how absolutely freaking little we know of Obama, we know shitloads more about all the Romney's.  Mitt, Ann, the parents, the dog, his politcal record, his business record, his education record, his faith, blah, blah, blah...

Yeah, well, Mitt doesn't have the luxury of sealing the rest of his records with EM in the same way Obama immediately did upon taking office.  Mitt has complied with popular request and all pertinent laws regarding releasing records.  Obama has not.  He hid records during his campaign (plenty of proof of that), and lied through his freaking pearly whites to a public that just wanted free gas, no cost health insurance and wanted rich folks wealth distributed to them.

Oh, but wait, we want 10 years of full tax returns and bank statements...?  Who does, the people?  No.  The freaking kool aid drinking, WH agenda regurgitators in the lame stream media, as puppets of The Machine do.

Matt's picture

How many regular people actually read through the tax returns of presidential candidates, going back to whenever this tradition started? Anyone here remember what Reagan's tax returns were like? I mean, I can see the elections people wanting to filter out criminals from being candidates, but publicly releasing the records seems a bit much.

2discern's picture it appears (and no disagreement here) there is not a choice toward prosperity?

tony bonn's picture

wb is the most astute political commentator about obamney....i am glad someone hasn't forgotten the shredded massachusetts records...

if anyone is stupid enough to vote for obamney, he deserves the terror which will follow....

anyone who gives a flying flip will write in a candidate or vote someone else...

jay28elle's picture

It is down to the lesser of 2 evils, and I choose..... Mitt.

BidnessMan's picture

".... the one I have not tried before."

Mae West

Seize Mars's picture


It is down to the lesser of 2 evils, and I choose..... Mitt.

It is not. Mitt Romney is deeply hostile to Liberty. Just vote for Ron Paul, or vote for no one.