williambanzai7's picture



(Who Killed Davey Moore, Bob Dylan)

Who killed the Facebook IPO
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not I," says the SEC porn addict,
"Don't point your finger at me.
I could've delayed  the launch date
An' maybe kept small investors from this hapless fate,
But the insider crowd would've booed, we're sure,
At not gettin' their money sooner,
It's too bad it had to go fast,
But there was a pressure on us too, you know.
It wasn't us that made it fail.
No, you can't blame us at all."

Who killed The Facebook IPO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not us," says the insider shareholder crowd,
Whose shill screams filled the markets aloud.
"It's too bad it died that way"
But we just like to see our money quadruple .
We didn't mean for it t' meet this trouble,
We just meant to maximize our bets,
There ain't nothing wrong in that.
It wasn't us that made it fail.
"No, you can't blame us at all."

Who killed The Facebook IPO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not me," says the lead IPO manager,
Puffing on a big Wall Street cigar.
"It's hard to say, it's hard to tell,
I always thought that it would sell real swell.
It's too bad for those geeks the fantasy's dead,
But if it was sick, they  should've said.
It wasn't me that made it  fall.
"No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed The Facebook IPO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not me" says the NASDAQ schmo,
It was a software glitch how could we know,
Anyhow that's how the robot trading game goes,
Easy come, easy skim, easy goes,
It wasn't me that made it fail,
"No, don't try to blame me at all"

Who killed The Facebook IPO,
Why an' what's the reason for

"Not me," says the denuded deluded IPO sucker,
With his  confirmation ticket still in his hands.
"It wasn't me  that knocked it down,
I just wanted a big POP and quick flip,.
I didn't commit no ugly sin,
Anyway, I put money on it to win.
It wasn't me that made it drop.
"No, you can't blame me at all."

Who killed The Facebook IPO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

Not me says the hooded CEO,
I wanted no part of that pinstriped freak show,
I told them being public wasn't  important to me,
After all shareholders are just sheep to be reamed,
So I can be king of the  Web 2.0 geeks,
The social graph  didn't make it fail,
"And no, don't try and blame me at all."

Who killed The Facebook IPO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

Not me says the glum CFO,
After all I just did what I was told,
Maximize profits for short term greed,
Forget about planning, or sharing some beans,
It's all about exits and fat Ponzi schemes.
After all that's the Silicon Valley pipe dream,
It wasn't me that made it fail,
"And no don't try to blame me at all."

Who killed The Facebook IPO,
Why an' what's the reason for?

"Not me," says the feckless financial news writer,
Pounding hopium print on his iPad typewriter,
Sayin', "The MSM ain't to blame,
There's just so much danger in the IPO game."
Sayin', "Ponzitorial is here to stay",
It's just the old Wall Street media way.
It wasn't me that made it fail.






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Zero Govt's picture

Banzai, time the Flopbook Titanic image was updated to its tilted hull sticking out the sea about to sink

this voyage only lasted a day, and only then because of market manipulation on IPO launch day keeping it above $30, before the shares hit an icy reality and begun its dive 

AldousHuxley's picture


Zero Govt's picture

greed is good

corruption (greed driven to cheating the market) bad

SAT 800's picture

Facebook; The Little Stock that couldn't.

Flocking swans's picture

That Bob guy is pretty good, does he have any more tunes?

fukidontknow's picture

Is anyone keen to swap my shiny FB shares for some of their (in a bubble, barbarous relic) gold bullion? I will pay postage.

williambanzai7's picture

That is very interesting, but not surprising. News photographers are generally not very creative, there are exceptions of course.

LoneuhRanger's picture

Bin thinking about committing Facebook suicide for a couple of weeks now.

Today I actually started the car and put the exhaust tube in the passenger compartment.

Apparently it will take two weeks for me to FaceAway. I want to, I really want to.

Jis needed dat push B.

Skateboarder's picture

Telescreens... everywhere...

lakecity55's picture

I found a mike and a camera under my bed. Rats. Busted.

Tippoo Sultan's picture


This ensign was spotted being raised by a certain acne-plagued twenty-something billionaire, over a recently-transacted $7 million McManse in Palo Alto. Neighbors are reportedly nonplussed by the significance of this peculiar jack...


Dr. Gonzo's picture

I still have never logged onto Facebook nor have I ever had the desire to. I hate nothing more when people send pics of myself in group photos that they got access too that were posted on Facebook. It gives me the fucking creeps and makes me feel violated and now evertime I get in a group photo I think great... I'm going to be on Facebook again. Makes me want to dodge group photos. 

CompassionateFascist's picture

My FB pic shows a Nazi torpedo-bomber attacking an allied convoy. Scan that, U stinkin' bulldyke.  

lakecity55's picture

I would. The FBI is now scouring FB clean of every single person photo to  put into their 1Billion$ facial recog program.

With unlimited data storage in Utah, all USA people are now under video surveillance 24/7/365.

So ve do not neet your paperz untermenschen!

I so wish Bazai would do a really creepy Butch Napolitano NAZI takeoff. Because it would be True.

WillyGroper's picture

  The FBI is now scouring FB clean of every single person photo to  put into their 1Billion$ facial recog program.

As if they didn't already have it should you posess a DL or PP.

lakecity55's picture

Well, I think the original purpose was to use mug shots of felons for the dbase. But, it morphed into an add every single person to the dbase thing since we all (to the government) are the enemy.

I never had a FB account, but like some, I do not know if my photo is on someone's stupid FB page.


Makes ya think, huh? Your own government believes its greatest enemies are its own people.

"I wanna do Bad Things to You..."

How do we get out of this rabbit hole?

mendolover's picture

Someone needs to invent an LED eyeglass frame or headband thingy that is convient enough to wear anywhere that interfers with the surveillence software.

palmereldritch's picture

That's a start but you'd have to constantly do a silly walk because their AI recognition software can also analyze your posture and gait as being uniquely characteristic for their ID matrix.

It's called Trapwire and it is already deployed.


The NYC’s secretly-located, multi-million dollar surveillance system that uses artificial intelligence (AI) to simultaneously monitor 3?000 video cameras. The system is capable of detecting an object’s size and shape, along with the length of time it has remained motionless, in order to alert authorities to potential threats, such as a bomb. Or a lunch bag.

What else can it do? It can identify and track an individual based on a distinctive combination of appearance and gait, rather like a technologically-constructed fingerprint. Sound a bit too Big Brother-esque?


Trapwire surveillance system exposed in document leak

Papers released by WikiLeaks show US department of homeland security paid $832,000 to deploy system in two cities

    It sounds like something from the film Minority Report: a CCTV surveillance system that recognises people from their face or walk and analyses whether they might be about to commit a terrorist or criminal act. But Trapwire is real and, according to documents released online by WikiLeaks last week, is being used in a number of countries to try to monitor people and threats.

    Founded by former CIA agents, Trapwire uses data from a network of CCTV systems and numberplate readers to figure out the threat level in huge numbers of locations. That means security officials can "focus on the highest priorities first, taking a proactive and collaborative approach to defence against attacks," say its creators.



mendolover's picture

Holy shit that was fast!  haha

lakecity55's picture

You're The Best, Banzai.

I've got some great ideas we can share when we're in camp next summer.

Maybe you could touch up the photo with some of those illuminati pyramids. Those are scary anytime.

bunnyswanson's picture

How about an cartoon that depicts an auction block with politicians for sale to the highest bidder (the banks)??  Thanks for your wonderful work Mr. Banzai!

Charles Bishop Weyland's picture

Thin Air Manufacturing,Inc."Selling you NOTHING since ---The Beginning!" (Emperor has no clothes, etc.)

Gringo Viejo's picture

pets.com redux. Greed & stupidity; a financial culling of the herd. Nothing more, nothing less.


Anybody with half a brain should have been able to predict the stock price tumble, currently down 50%. Reduced revenues due to slowing growth, the move to a mobile platform and the decline in profitability due to the decision to go forward with large investments to secure future growth.


You Didn't Build That's picture

<<Anybody with half a brain should have been able to predict.....the house price tumble, currently down over 30% and sinking. Rising unemployment, stagnant wages, massvie consumer debt, and near zero productivity prove it.

gjp's picture

well, yeah, but why didn't that work for AMZN?

williambanzai7's picture

There were two types of suckers involved, absolute fools and those who thought they could do a fast flip even though they knew there were business issues. They were all relying on the greater fools theory.

SAT 800's picture

What passes for smart in 2012 would have been regarded as retarded in 1987; and completely beneath the notice of civilized men in 1887. Television has a lot to do with this. "We are entertaining ouselves to death"; an actual title of book published recently; not a bad book either.

williambanzai7's picture

And in terms of equity capital markets, the notion of fundamentals has been replaced with a video game.

Tapeworm's picture

is it possible that he is the only one that will not make ot gargantuan gains? I rather doubt that is the case.

q99x2's picture

Suckerberg is also a type. An article last week says that he is going to hold his shares until after the financial collapse or 1 year from now. In other words, until they go to zero.

williambanzai7's picture

At this point the guy is really a tool of the financiers. He can no longer do what he wants even though he retains control. He has to run it as a public company and if he doesn't, it will become a penny stock eventually.

It's already headed into single digits.

LasVegasDave's picture

Yes, even Zuckerberg's conception was organized by the Elders.

Dont believe it?  I have written proof!!!!

stant's picture

ive decided to delay the ipo of my new co bigmeany.com, not enogh live suckers left in the markets.

lakecity55's picture

I just sold an app to Vlad called "KGBook."

I told him the resemblance to the FB schematic was just a coincidence.

He's paying me in Pussy Riot chicks.

Long Vodka!

bank guy in Brussels's picture

Facebook - the CIA's very own IPO scam

« ... funding into Facebook ($US12.7 million) came from venture capital firm Accel Partners. Its manager James Breyer ... served on the board ... of In-Q-Tel, a venture capital firm established by the Central Intelligence Agency in 1999. One of the company's key areas of expertise are in "data mining technologies". »

The CIA always recruits at Harvard, and they selected Mark Zuckerberg from the large group of ultra-Zionists there, to be the CIA dude getting wealthy from Facebook.

Zuckerberg is CIA, as is fellow arch-Zionist and internet hoaxer, the criminal Jimmy 'Jimbo' Wales, posing as the 'founder' of the CIA's Wikipedia ... planting lies for US and Israel amid all the 'user-supplied' material

'Satire' but truthful - Onion News Report on the CIA's Facebook project:

partners with the CIA's Google

Live Photo: Google Inc. Caught Censoring EU Search Results on US court corruption (for USA - CIA)
Google Internet Censorship - Censure d'Internet par Google - Internet censuur door Google

'Ex-Agent: CIA Seed Money Helped Launch Google', retired intelligence agent Robert David Steele interviewed by Paul Joseph Watson, and speaking of the CIA's Dr Rick Steinheiser and his connections with Google:

SaveTheBales's picture

Posting your actual pictures and personal facts to Facebook?  Seriously?

Oh my.  Someone is in for a Pentecostal experience over on the Adult Singles sites.


davood's picture

Hey bank guy, are you tell me that the movie, The Social Network, about Mark Zuckerberg and his Facebook may not be the real deal?!?  That a Jew (Ben Mezrich) wrote this "biography" called the "Accidental Billionaires"?  That his movie was screenplayed by a Jew (Aaron Sorkin), directed by a Jew (David Fincher), and starred in his stead by another Jew (Jesse Eisenberg)?  And that 3 of the co-founders of Facebook are Jewish?

Is this a Jewish (or Zionist) conspiracy?

mendolover's picture

I really like Paul Joseph Watson, but I've pretty much given up on AJ.  Same as Fox News, how do you know where the BS line is?

boogerbently's picture


DON'T look under your bed.......don't do it!!!

I am on to you's picture

My my,i looked!

All i saw was fools gold,tons and tons of nothing!