You're a Potential Terrorist If You Are Young, Use Social Media, Or Question "Mainstream Ideologies"

George Washington's picture

 flowersm U.S. Military May Consider You a Potential Terrorist If You Are Young, Use Social Media, Or Question Mainstream Ideologies

Wired reports today:


These are some warning signs that that you have turned into a terrorist who will soon kill your co-workers, according to the U.S. military. You’ve recently changed your “choices in entertainment.” You have “peculiar discussions.” You “complain about bias,” you’re “socially withdrawn” and you’re frustrated with “mainstream ideologies.” Your “Risk Factors for Radicalization” include “Social Networks” and “Youth.”




That was the assessment of a terrorism advisory organization inside the U.S. Army called the Asymmetric Warfare Group in 2011, acquired by Danger Room.

And the government has more or less classified journalists as terrorists.

So it’s time for an updated list of actions and beliefs which government officials have said may indicate “potential terrorism” …

tumblr lv02knWVCL1r6m1z5o1 500 U.S. Military May Consider You a Potential Terrorist If You Are Young, Use Social Media, Or Question Mainstream Ideologies

The following actions may get an American citizen living on U.S. soil labeled as a “suspected terrorist” today:

tumblr lv02mmCxvR1r6m1z5o1 500 U.S. Military May Consider You a Potential Terrorist If You Are Young, Use Social Media, Or Question Mainstream Ideologies

Holding the following beliefs may also be considered grounds for suspected terrorism:

Postscript:  Given that the U.S. government is directly supporting Al Qaeda and Iranian terrorists - and the fact that the government has removed some of these groups from the list of terrorist organizations for political reasons - a reader satirically jokes that only those U.S. citizens who join one of the actual terrorist groups which the U.S. now supports will avoid being labeled terrorists.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
tollingbell's picture

I'm glad there's a bag over my head...

tollingbell's picture

I'm glad there's a bag over my head.

NuYawkFrankie's picture

Re You're a Potential Terrorist if....



After reading all the bullet-points

I think I get the gist...

If you happen to be breathing -

You might be a trrr'ist.



janus's picture

yer a hell of a fella, GW.  true-blue through and through, i say.

your work is always read and appreciated by janus.  i want you to know this.

anyway, i have some things to say about these dreadful terrorists...they must be deprived of their liberty, lest liberty perish.  

GW, did you know that i once had a blog?  yup...went under my name with a dot and a com succeding it.  i didn't do much to publicize it; just wrote, expecting the flies to swarm to the stank.  they did. 

i'm keenly aware that i possess a rare dexterity with words; and i further know that i'm regularly intoxicating and in other respects abusing one of the finest minds the world has evah produced.  it's mine, and i can do what the fuck i want to with it.  it's like the apostle paul sez, "the gifts of the Lord are irrevocable."  that means it's mine. 

well, one day this mind of mine was aroused all indignant-like against israel (the modern nation-state, that is), and i logged on through my dial-up modem (this was when i was hiding from humanity in the alabama country-side); waited patiently for it to connect; hastened through my browser start-up protocols; popped my fingers, neck and back; laid into israel (the modern nation-state, that is) with a philosopher's flourish; and felt that i had done humanity some humble and rather eloquent favor.

it seems that some menacing nerd or group of nerds disagreed.  they were somehow able to seize my web address (and replace it with an ad for if to imply that janus should chill -- the nerve!), and further blue-screen my desk-top. 

the loss of the computer and web address didn't bother me so much; it was the hundreds of family photos and the videos from my son's first fishing trips that can't be recaptured... but it's their father's fault...he's somehow captain america and public enemy no. 1 at the same time.  i blame america for this; and i guess that makes me a target.

what i'm driving at, GW, is that you are a terrorist.  janus is a terrorist.  everyone who has ever logged onto ZH is a terrorist.  if you are anything less than an automoton, you are most assuredly a terrorist. 

and that's sort-a the rub, ain't it? the less of an automoton you are...the less robotic, axiomoatic and banaly binary in the thought-making, the more of a threat you are.  it's not even a matter of ideology; it hasn't a goddam thing to do with left/right...blah, blah, blah.  it's that you dare to think beyond that bifurcated blather that imposes itself as orthodoxy.  we're taught that there are 'two-sides' to every argurment, and if you start thinking there are myriads more positions to take in any debate, they throw you in jail or kill you.

unless.  unless you learn to practice asymmetric warfare.

you made me, uncle sam.  i'm gonna be some kinda son of a bitch to deal with.  and i'll never physically hurt a soul.   well, let me qualify that, i won't physically hurt any person...i most certainly intend to go about the business of trashing souls.  that's how i roll.

the most beautiful thing is this: every single day america's institutions lose legitimacy and janus gains.  one could say that i'm siphoning it from them.  why, i do say that it's as if i'm drinking their milkshake.

democrats are not it; republicans are not it...janus is the chosen one.  you politicians are afterbirth.  I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE. 

you know why i don't worry?  well, it's because i know something.  do you bitchez know that the only thing that keeps wise men (and, it's true, a few women) going is an abiding hope that the next day will yeild some new and exciting way about thinking about something new and exciting.  that's the hope that tempers the despair of the powerful.  i have made myself valuable even unto my enemies.  kinda the same way king david did with saul.  but that's a long story.

at this point i guess i should say that i'm growing irritated and impatient.  all my worst fears are everyday confirmed and aggrivated by the gall and temerity exibited by the feckless wrecks weilding the world's scepter.  i saw what direction this would take; all the same, i'm astonished by the wanton and demonic degree of the perfidy. 

i wanted them to decide how i should react.  they have chosen.  unwisely,  i think.  i think i am at this point left with no choice.  if you fuckers wanted to destroy america, that's fine with me...but now that you've come after the american people, well..i'll trim my sails and my rhetoric for the time being.  i'll only say this, "enjoy the sunset."

i choose to be wise and intrepid.  it's about time i start speaking.  i feel phase 3 coming on.  i feel my time approaching. 

the funniest thing is that these hacks can't even take janus on on the bloggosphere...not with their army of minions or limitless resources.  i feel sorry for them; but i bully them all the same.

all of humanity has forever cast its hope upon the rising son...nothing has changed, nothing evah will.

moring has broken,


Fort's picture

Picture that, me considered a terrorist who would have taught, I'm sure nobody in my surroundings ever expected that. What Fort a terrorist I can't believe it. Good they caught him. It is a stupid and sad world we live in today. If you scrape away all the BS in the end this entire struggle for dominance actually has extremely superficial motives to it. That's the biggest puzzle in my quest for knowledge and understanding I have not been able to solve. How can everything be so superficial?

Really, we have come a long way. How long has this power struggle been going on and the reason is so superficial. Power, but over what?

Are the benefits really that big?

I just fail to see it, I really do. I once worked in construction as a carpenter. I still remember the satisfaction the work provided me with. At the end of the day I looked back to what I had built, what I had produced. I had turned raw materials into something tangible. I had put something in place that would stand for decades. Building things helped me to pay my way through University. You see, I did not want to borrow money and I did not want my hard working parents to cough up their lives savings. It just felt like the right thing to do. Why can the struggle for power not be more like that? Struggle to build something, to accomplish something. This accomplishes nothing only destruction and decay. I just do not get it. It is like my struggle in University to understand the leverage is bliss theories in literature aka return on equity ratio, I mean come on makng 20K with a high ration because yu leverage your equity or making 40K with a lousy equity ration but a very healthy balance sheet. I just could not help wondering, but what if this stops growing and actually goes down? I could not understand why the capital and money markets where 52 times the size of the real economy, I just constantly figured, but does money than not have only 1/52 of the value it apparently seems to represent. These doubts, these observations these questions clouding my understanding became a lot clearer once I independently (For it is not actively stimulated in University) stumbled on Hayek and Misses and just taught for what it is worth I’ll read Adam smith despite the fact that I’m being told constantly he was the herald of the despicable market and capitalist economy, I knew it was risky, for I might get corrupted by his despicable vision.  I left University convinced that the whole system was rigged and democracy was a joke. This was before the .com bubble collapsed. I remember thinking a big chunk of the 52 times excess is now annihilated, allows them to start over I guess. More than a decade later with a lot of real live experience and much more knowledge gathered, studied and observed I still do not understand quite a bit, but the biggest question remains. What on earth is it good for?

The whole world seems to want something that is as superficial as the MTV broadcasting schedule. I’m sick of it all to be honest. I have little fear of hope in me except for my child he has no future and that worries me. I think I’ll teach him how to build it seems to be a craft in short supply and high demand once he is a grown up. The rest of what I have collected seems to have been an utter waste of time and has actually accomplished nothing. I think I’ll resign from being a terrorist, you know what they can have it all fuck them, may they get sick and die once they have destroyed the world, bathing in bliss over an empty victory fuck them.

One thing I know for sure they may get all the power all the money and all the people as slaves, but never in their entire live have they experienced the satisfaction of building something that still stands.

BlowsAgainsttheEmpire's picture

I'm shocked . . .

Homeland Security 'fusion' centers spy on citizens, produce 'shoddy' work, report says

"While dismissing the value of much of the fusion centers’ work, the Senate panel found evidence of what it called “troubling” reports by some centers that may have violated the civil liberties and privacy of U.S. citizens".

Fort's picture

Does that apply to Europeans reading and posting on zerohedge?

Not sure really, will it matter once the Ponzi scheme is exposed for what it is?

devo's picture

translation: unless you look like orrin hatch you're fuuucked.

Zero Govt's picture

"Unless You're An Old, Out-Of-Touch Oligarch ... You're Probably a Terrorist."

Unless you're a deranged, dysfunctional establishment parasite're probably pretty sane

there. fixed it GW 

Joe A's picture

That is about everybody here on ZH.

q99x2's picture

“Candidates are bashing each other over the heads for being in Wall Street’s back pocket,” said Elizabeth Wilner of Kantar Media’s Campaign Media Analysis Group. “Wall Street is this campaign season’s punching bag, and it’s bipartisan and it’s escalating.”

The canabals are crawling out of the graves.

You scumbag politicians. You voted for NDAA your F'n out of there this election. Oh you do business with a bank. FU go find a F'n job and contribute something to society parasitic M'Fer. And then we're going to sue you. We're going to sue real slow.

The Malamute Kid's picture

Buy Silver while its still a bargain. Learn more about food than just how to eat it.  I fear we are going to see some serious shit in the 1st quarter of 2013.

sansnobel's picture

Yep, I'm just waiting patiently for that day when "they" come for my guns etc....I hope they dress appropriately cause it's gonna be a party to remember.

“Rebellion to tyranny is obedience to God.”-ThomasJefferson's picture

Last I checked, it's the idiotic American voters who consistently vote these thieving scum bags to write laws, enrich themselves, and grant themselves and their bankster/crony buddies limitless wealth and privilege.  

Grow some balls and tell the people around you that our government is inherently corrupt and is in need of great change, from the local level to the POTUS.  Then cancel your subscriptions to any and all publications and cable television.  If you're capable, read a book.  If you're a fat disgusting slob, go for a walk.  Eat McDonalds once a day instead of three a day.  Lay on the ground and do a sit up. Take a shower with some soap.  Be kind to children and the elderly.  The world is about to change very quickly for us.  Be careful with what you hear and read, because a great deal is lies and self serving propaganda.

Radical Marijuana's picture

... our government is inherently corrupt and is in need of great change ...

Obviously TRUE, but that needs to seriously REAL! A great deal (of government)  is lies and self serving propaganda!  At some point we should stop believing there is anything else, instead, we should overtly and permanently regard government as organized lies, backed by force.

I may fall back on George Washington quote:

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.

THAT IS WHAT AMERICANS NEED TO REMEMBER, AND FACE AS FUNDAMENTAL FACT!  If you think about that social fact deeply enough, it becomes plainly obvious that the government is ALWAYS necessarily the best organized terrorist. We should turn that into a more modernized scientific formulation of that basic insight into perpetual political reality!  Of course, although I have been trying to do that for several decades, the ONLY thing I have proven is the horrible exception to Abraham Lincoln observations that:

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

The problem is that the established systems are set up so that they ONLY HAVE TO FOOL ENOUGH OF THE PEOPLE ENOUGH OF THE TIME!

The ONLY way to fix the problems require that there are no longer enough people being fooled enough of the time ...

What SHOULD happen is the same as Jefferson said:
I know of no safe depository of the ultimate powers of the society but the people themselves; and if we think them not enlightened enough to exercise their control with a wholesome discretion, the remedy is not to take it from them but to inform their discretion.

However, there has been a war on consciousness, intended to accomplish exactly the opposite, and that war has been way too successful, so far! The REAL history of the American republic has been a horrible slide down, as the ability of organized crime to corrupt the government became more and more triumphant. Clearly, what has actually happened is that enough people were fooled enough of the time, to enable the fire of government to burn out of control, and thus, the inherent nature of government, as stated by Washington above, has transformed the government of the USA into the worst wild fire of organized terrorism in the whole world, which is seriously threatening to burn up the majority of American too!

WE need to enlighten enough Americans so that there are no longer enough to fool enough of the time! However, that is an information civil war, against the war on consciousness, which has been waged non-stop by The Powers That Be, and has become way, way too successful ...


Right now, the government of the USA is an out-of-control terrorist force, burning up the planet and its own home! That keeps happening because the people controlling that government continue to be able to fool enough of the people enough of the time!
new game's picture

R M reply: to sum up what you just said - it is the individuals(extremely important)natural rights and that thinking proccess uninhibited by the state vs. the the collectivist  bull fucking shit being propagandized up our ass...

read this:

the average american has no idea what i just said, much less the bill of rights being trashed by the very gubment that should uphold these basic rights.

Atomizer's picture






steelrules's picture

And who is pushing terrorism like a drug on the weak minded in America?


New_Meat's picture

GW, please give at least grudging ackn to WB7 for your spraying pictures. - Ned

George Washington's picture


I just wrote to WB7 - he said they aren't his ...

Dr. Gonzo's picture a nutshell:

If you don't masturbate to Janet Napalitono every single night then you are a terrorist. 

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

. a nutshell:

If you don't masturbate to Janet Napalitono every single night then you are a terrorist.

Better to be a terrist than a.....ummm, well, whatever the hell the other thing would be.

tony bonn's picture

the police and military are murderous pigs - they are control freaks on steroids and the power has gone to their arrogant murderous heads.....i fear military and police and would never want one of them to help me for any reason - not as though they would since their only purposes in life are to collect money and plan for martial law....unless you are worth a fortune, the police will go through the motions of responding to complaints and then promptly file your concerns in the toilet...they are useless beyond words on a good day and terrorists on a bad day....

the only journalists they are after are the ones who do not practice access journalism where their lips move under direction from one of the aforementioned control freaks....

in any event, the labeling practices of the military (control freaks) are mind control and mkultra tactics.....they see the world and everyone as an enemy to subdue.....this is one reason why obamney - especially the mitt half - must lose

akak's picture

We are all Terrorists now.

LetThemEatRand's picture

"We are all Terrorists now."

I just said the same thing in response to an earlier post before reading yours, so I guess we don't disagree about everything after all. 

iDealMeat's picture

Not me.  I can't be labeled. (publicly by MSM that is).  I'm solo..  Could care less about: taxes, banks, fees, politics, derivatives bullshit.. All of it..



TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Fuck it. I'm just going to get a t-shirt that says TERRORIST in big bold letters.

Oops, I mean TERRIST.

akak's picture

The real terrorists are those who are constantly hyperventilating about the "threat of terrorists" (and using that as a justification to shred the US Constitution).

zhandax's picture

I am fashionably covered then...a sarcastic friend gave me an LAPD cap during the Rodney King riots.  Obviously sarcastic since I lived in Florida at the time.

topspinslicer's picture

If the van's a rockin' don't come a knockin' PIG

AldousHuxley's picture

terrorist until proven guilty says the oligarchs

topspinslicer's picture

I'm just a young man with a dream

blindman's picture

Willy DeVille-Spanish Harlem
life. terrible.

cartonero's picture

Is it me or did he look like Guy Falkes?

blindman's picture

i don't think it was you?
maybe it was you, good for you!

blindman's picture

i think jesus was executed for being a terrorist?
and he walked on the water just like the
riot control cop. no?
interesting, the authority terrorist and authority
identified terrorist both represented for identity
purposes with the main symbolic icon. no one is
perfect they say, except the icon or idol.
but anyway it has been said that if jesus was
alive today he would throw up and never stop.
that sounds right. also said was that if jesus
was alive today the christians would execute him.
that sounds right too, and if they wouldn't some one
else would. and there ya we have riot control
with pepper spray walking on the water, no charges there.

blindman's picture

and the graphics are stunning and i humiliate
myself admitting , hilarious.

ozziindaus's picture

What will get you OFF the terrorist list?

Member of MEK

Member of Al Qaeda (Syrian rebel arm)

Member of Irgun

Member of Stern Gang


blindman's picture

government employment or contractor to
government or intelligence employment.
that and finance or medical affiliation.
just a guess, probably many others.
and don't forget insanity !!!

blindman's picture

the meaning of the word "government" is that
body and it's agents, but mainly the "body",
virtual, that
has a monopoly on the use of violence, real, and
terror. the revolutionary war was fought to
challenge that basic idea, rights of people were
then the terrorists discovered they could use
the legal system, set up to reduce the use
of violence and terror by governments against
people, to legitimize the use of terror and violence
by the
government against people.
they have perverted the term "justice" to imply
"legitimate" use of violence by the powerful against
the victims or the innocent; and yes, "money" is
the main weapon of choice, or it is debt based money
that is the weapon of choice. very stealthy. that
and legislation.
the point is there is a monopoly on the use of terror
and violence, the government owns that. sovereign.
if you
confront it directly they will call you what they
know not but are themselves, criminal. this is the dynamic,
perhaps the projection of the false self never
realized or discovered or uncovered? it is a
psychological development thing as in the evolution
of consciousness....manifesting in the legal and
governmental systems of man. we seem to be at the
transitional phase where the organi-zation-ism is
feeling threatened by itself and its own behaviour and
unconsciously releases tension by projecting randomly
and irrationally. "official" individual relief accomplished by
conformity to the narrative of least intelligence
and insight but stuffed with greater grease.
what a ride, what a show , and then it is over.

LetThemEatRand's picture

Soon we're all going to learn, "shakin' the tree, boss.... shakin' the tree," or risk repeated failures to communicate.

Skateboarder's picture

The opening line of the article is, hands down, one of the funniest I've seen.

*picture of an innocent little girl*


LetThemEatRand's picture

You know what they say about a picture saying a thousand words.  We're all terrorists now.

i-dog's picture

Get off your knees, slave! Stand up and say: "It's the government that is the terrorist striking fear. Citizens have no place being fearful of their must be the other way around and I'm going to speak out!"

And talking of striking fear (ie. the definition of a terrrrrrst): This is yet another in a long string of GW fear-mongering posts designed to get you down on your knees and quaking in helpless fear (of radiation, global warming, terrorists, banksters, TSA, government, etc, etc).

He doesn't even have the guts to state a personal opinion. Instead, he finishes with the gutless third person: "a reader satirically jokes....". Shameful.