williambanzai7's picture

BANZAI7 NEWS EXCLUSIVE: Authorities have arrested a man they say was plotting to blow up the Federal Reserve Bank.

The man is in custody in New York.

Sources tell Banzai7 News that the well "healed" Park Avenue executive commutes to Greenwich on weekends.

Law enforcement officials stress that the plot was a sting operation monitored by the FBI, Elite SEC Pornography Branch and NYPD Securities and Counter-Muppet-Terror Task Force.

"Trust us, Wall Street was never at risk."

According to the report, the suspect drove a Porsche SUV he believed to be loaded with weapons grade derivatives (Synthetic CDO-4) from his East Hampton summer home to Lower Manhattan.

He then placed the vehicle near the Federal Reserve and was then arrested by the FBI and NYPD attemptng to remotely detonate the weapon using an iBlow APP outside Scores, where an SEC advance reconnaissance team was busy conducting an HFT steak out (that's right steak out).

The suspect, whom sources said is from the Park Avenue section of New York City and is an Al Ponzi affiliate, is currently in custody in New York. He is expected to be out on bail shortly.

Sources say he was "probably, most likely, acting all alone with their assistance."

Asked about entrapment allegations, the sources responded "we are not smart enough to come up with this shit."

Citizens are advised not to speak to crew cut strangers wearing cheap pinstriped suits and tactical slip resistant shoes.

Will the owner of a silver Porsche Sport Utility Vehicle with NY license plate "GOD'S WORK" please contact the front desk immediately.



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SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

Thanks for the great belly laugh WB7!

covert's picture

all of lower manhattan should have security like wall street..Liberty akbar!

blindman's picture


We have said before that “the time has come”, and that “the revolution has begun”. And now, with the passage of time and the willingness to learn we stand in the light of our expanded awareness to see that the Earth does not require a Revolution on the part of humanity, but, rather, she is lovingly urging our Evolution; an evolution that awaits all those who are willing to humble themselves and ‘let go’ of what they know. For, it is only in ‘letting go’ that one may become ‘open like a child’ and receive the grace of world-altering Revelations.
thanks for this perspective.
“2012 The Return to One – The New Edit” has been released.

d edwards's picture

Careful, Banzai-you might anger the muslims and they'll just HAVE TO go out and kill some people.

williambanzai7's picture

I think the Muslims recognize this is not aimed at them nor is it intended to offer sympathy to Jihadists, who are to be distinguished from the former.

BiggerInJapan's picture

All this post is specially sweet!

nmewn's picture

Fiat Al Harackiri...ROTFL!!!...thanks for keeping me half sane Banzai ;-)

lakecity55's picture

One of your best, Banzai! Reminds me of the old FBI posters.

Howdan's picture

Hahahaha! Banzai-San this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Put a big smile on my face and I actually thought of you and ZH this morning when I heard the news that a "Terrorist had been caught trying to blow up the NY Federal Reserve Bank".

Hmm I wonder why when I heard the words "Terrorist" and "Federal Reserve" the name "Bernanke" popped straight into my head??

The Supreme Leader of Al Ponzi - hahaha...

ReligiousAtheist1's picture

Hahahahahaha this is one of your finest and funniest pieces to date keep them coming

AUD's picture

Al Ponzi, that one has legs. Funny stuff.

Money 4 Nothing's picture

General public was never at risk because the FBI set up another false narrative.. again. Search: FBI found creating fake terror threats.

AUELOX's picture

For as long as you have been posting, I have been ignoring.  Couldn't say why.  I read this and I am hooked, a life-time fan.  Great stuff.

williambanzai7's picture

You can describe what I do lots of different ways, as long as you use the words humor and satire ;-)

And every reader is my most important reader...

Heyoka Bianco's picture

So now al Qaeda is doing things to help us? I mean, what could be better for the US than the utter annihilation of the Fed?

On the other hand: Ron Paul watch your ass, they could easily try to pin this on you.

marathonman's picture

At least the terrorists are starting to get to the real root of things.  Al Quaeda taking out Al Ponzi.  Awesome.

williambanzai7's picture

The thing is this guy is not Al Qaeda. He is a self starter who thought he was working with Al Qaeda.

It is frightening to consider how many competent self motivated Amerika haters could be out there flying off everyone's radar screen.

The only reason to feel slightly secure is the knowledge that people who are competent usually have much more at stake in the material world and may be less willing to covert to the terrorist meme.

There is one guy who was extremely competent and luckily the Indonesians nailed him. The Bali mastermind.

Heyoka Bianco's picture

So he's like a guy practicing free throws every morning hoping to make the varsity one day? Man, people out there have some empty fucking lives.

The only time I feel slightly secure is when I slip into the common human self-willed ignorance of the fact I COULD DIE AT ANY MOMENT!

By the way something, love your work, although it is occasional vomit-inducing (e.g., anything involving Merkel).

williambanzai7's picture

Revulsion is a hard emotion to shake loose. I didn't invent that idea but I know how to play it ;-)

They say that suicidal ideation is much more prevalent that the number of actual suicides simply because the means to do it effectively are unavailable. I think the same applies to homegrown terrorists. It is easier to evoke than to execute. Hence, a guy like this looks for assistance in Social Media. That was his downfall. What if he had looked for help in a radical mosque?

Seer's picture

"What if he had looked for help in a radical mosque?"

[maybe more of a travel then he'd like, but...]

machineh's picture

... or a Brooklyn biker HQ, where he coulda scored a cannon to blow the portcullis offa 33 Lib?

sadpanda's picture

I guess one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

stant's picture

dhs told us the tea party would hook up with the muslim bad guys, to destroy the american way. what will a american gulag look like?

calgal's picture

BB=Bill Bonzai=Beyond Brilliant!

Omigod i look like a crazy lmao in the middle of whorefoodshahahahaHa

blu's picture

Funny as hell, Bill. I didn't know you moon-lit at the Onion!

Darling's picture

That's malarkey

blindman's picture

9/11 Insider Trading Whistleblower & Voluntary Servitude Richard Grove on Red Ice
Radio – Hour 1

Posted on October 17, 2012 by Youri Carma

bank guy in Brussels's picture

European humour on the US gov't 11 Sept hoaxes -

French comedian Jean-Marie Bigard making fun of the American regime's lies re 11 Sep 2001 - with English subtitles - very funny

blindman's picture
" ..The above clips are from a broadcast on WBAI Radio in the city of New York which aired this taped conversation between Emad A. Salem and FBI Special Agent John Anticev.

In this audio recording of Emad A. Salem in conversation with one of his FBI handlers, Special Agent John Anticev (recorded unbeknownst to him), Salem admits a number of times to building, with the supervision of the FBI and the District Attorney of New York, the bomb that exploded in the North Tower (Tower One) of the World Trade Center on February 26, 1993. FBI Special Agent John Anticev doesn't disagree with Salem's account of the event, and indeed Anticev admits in the recording that Salem has only ever told him and the FBI the truth."

Jam Akin's picture

Any truth to the rumor that he was going to exfiltrate by helicopter?

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Blowing up the NY FED and covering NYC with Bernanke Bucks - would that count as QE4?

q99x2's picture

Hey maybe Cheney will level the FED buildings like they did the WTCs. One way for them to get rid of the Tungsten evidence.

Wakanda's picture

Tungsten, thermite, and rubble.  You didn't build that.

ParkAveFlasher's picture

"...I am asking the American people to turn in gold for the sake of the Republic, in our hour of most dire need..."

earnulf's picture

Yeah, that kinda plea will go over real well in the hood.    Like to see them move through Detroit  trying to confiscate the gold chains....

Lumberjack's picture

OMFG... Mayor Bloomberg and Senate Candidate Angus King 'just' discovered Atlantica. 

(Panic now ensues)...

but...but...but there really are one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eaters. 





Tsunami Wave's picture

Hahahahaha.. nice. +5 on me.

onebir's picture

*Well-heeled* ;-)

williambanzai7's picture

Coincidently there is an expression used by Obama that AQ is on its heels.