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ZoMBiE NYPD!

Submitted by williambanzai7 on 10/25/2012 13:40 -0400

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Fri, 10/26/2012 - 01:07 | 2920706 pd303

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints

- Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 01:01 | 2920536 ebworthen

They say that the only thing that separates the cops from the criminals is the law and the badge.

I know there are decent cops, but with stories like this it makes you wonder how many.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 21:55 | 2920443 Zer0head

I was going to post a brief story bout something apropos to this topic

but I realized before pressing the save button that the owner of this site knows within a few meters what my location is and therefore would know in short order the subject of my story

of course zh maintains offshore servers (bless them) but at the end of the day

suffice to say ... http://www.checkip.org/

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 00:12 | 2920650 patience...

Not even close.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 22:35 | 2920518 Zero-risk bias

O you tease!

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 18:56 | 2920094 Wakanda

Blood drinking will be limited to 16 oz - it may elevate sodium levels and cause heart disease.

Fascist Mayor Doomberg

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 17:30 | 2919898 Zap Powerz

Everyone knows you dont have to kidnap and cook a woman in order to eat her.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 18:26 | 2920029 StychoKiller

"Can't murder now, eating!" -- Homer Simpson

Sat, 10/27/2012 - 10:54 | 2923747 Svendblaaskaeg

Monty Python: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWWg5shNWR4&feature=player_detailpage#t=61s

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 17:14 | 2919830 toxic8

lmao... 'Tony Bologna'.. can't make this shit up .. anyone else feel like 'The Divine Comedy' aspect of life has been very very apparent lately?

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 17:31 | 2919875 williambanzai7

I would have the mother of all headaches if I had to make all this shit up.

Apparently the guy only talked about his plans. However, he kept "profiles" of some 100 female targets on his computer, which means at a minimum he is a sexual deviant.

This comes right about one year following Tony B's days in the pepperspray limelight.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 17:01 | 2919779 Hulk

And as an added bonus, the easy to catch women come with a free motorized scooter !!!

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:32 | 2919604 blindman

http://jessescrossroadscafe.blogspot.com/2012/10/wall-street-back-in-bus...

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:47 | 2919641 Gully Foyle

Not a Zombie but a Cannibal.

Cannibalism is very popular among certain subcultures.

http://www.tv.com/shows/the-it-crowd-uk/moss-and-the-german-672686/

Moss and the German

Moss: It turns out he didn't want to teach me how to cook. He wanted to cook me.
Jen: What?
Moss: He wanted to eat me. I know, egg and my face were in alignment.

...

Moss: If my mother thinks I'm a cannibal, I'll be for the high jump.
Roy: Oh for once can we please not bring your mother into it.
Moss: Oh, here we go again!

...

Moss: I see where the confusion was; I thought this was a cookery course.
Johann: (laughs insanely) No, no.
Moss: But you were looking for someone who would agree to let you kill and eat them!

...

Moss: I don't know Roy. It does seem a little immoral misleading him. Although as Jen pointed out earlier, being a cannibal is a little immoral too. I'm in an ethical pickle!

...

(Hillarious antipiracy PSA was from this episode)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALZZx1xmAzg

Narrator: (parodying the PSA shown before films) You wouldn't steal a handbag. You wouldn't steal a car. You wouldn't steal a baby. You wouldn't shoot a policeman. And then steal his helmet. You wouldn't go to the toilet in his helmet. And then send it to the policeman's grieving widow. And then steal it again! Downloading films is stealing. If you do it, you will face the consequences. (FBI shoots girl in the head)

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:55 | 2919739 williambanzai7

Zombies, ghouls, cannibals, Banksters...let Hollywood sort it all out, they know what's real don't they?

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 18:55 | 2920090 Fredo Corleone

Memo to Mike Bloomberg: "...and this is Thriller !"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bd/Mjthriller.jpg/300px...

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:27 | 2919587 williambanzai7

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 19:13 | 2920127 BreadnH2O

Shouldn't that ass have a beard on it?

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:13 | 2919536 stant

cop zombie, rob zombies cousin

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:55 | 2919476 blindman

Gilberto Valle: NYPD cop busted by FBI for cannibalistic plot to cook 100 women
http://www.metro.us/newyork/local/article/1155004--gilberto-valle-nypd-c...
.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:03 | 2919497 Thecomingcollapse

Quick!! Somebody call in the FBI's Counter-Cannabalism task force!

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:28 | 2919591 blindman

but doesn't the story read like just a
sick humourless adolescent joke, for all
we know this guy was just bored and goofy
with a weird sense of humour. it's not like he
actually "ripped anyone's face off" or "blew
up" any of his clients as j.p morgan or
goldman sachs have.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:53 | 2919719 williambanzai7

Just be careful what you say.

Fri, 10/26/2012 - 07:57 | 2920961 blindman

i pass this along.
5) The Ultimate History Lesson: A Weekend with John Taylor Gatto (Hour 5 + Closing and Credits)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30fxRwkBbHc&feature=relmfu

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:16 | 2919544 williambanzai7

CCTF, that's a T-Shirt right there

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:29 | 2919402 williambanzai7

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 18:21 | 2920019 silverserfer

William please someday, do up Benanke as General Zod for me!

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 22:23 | 2920497 Zero Govt

Fantastic visual concept Banzai

when bubble Ben has to bailout Eurozone Govts, to bailout Eurozone banks so to bailout Wall Streets exploding derivative positions (house of cards) please extend the money hurricane storm front across Europe

these bubbles ain't getting any smaller are they?

so much for 'fixing' things

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:03 | 2919499 Variance Doc

This is classic!!!

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:29 | 2919401 Heyoka Bianco

I always thought the NYPD was more into the Fifty Shades of Grey motif, whether with a baton or plunger, whatever's handy.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:18 | 2919369 Ckierst1

Chicks must be the new normal donut for the NYPD.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:07 | 2919341 williambanzai7

It's funny how a story like this hits just in time for Halloween. The other costume idea is Donald Trump as a Keynian warrior.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 19:41 | 2920159 New_Meat

WB7:

"The other costume idea is Donald Trump as a Keynian warrior."

Well, especially since THE Donald and O went to high school in Kenya together, and THE Donald sucked at soccer..

- Ned

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 19:28 | 2920153 Rearranging Dec...

Well according to this week's Southpark the "it" halloween costume this year will be Korean Rapper and internet sensation Psy wearing a blue blazer from Gangnam Style.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 22:31 | 2920511 Zero-risk bias

Just remembered why ZH is such an inexpendible source. Thanks

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 22:38 | 2920501 willwork4food

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceVlltPBcHg&feature=relmfu

Kind of funny you brought up Gangnam style...

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:39 | 2919415 El Viejo

Your a lucky man WB. There is certainly no dearth of material these days. You need to hire full-time staff and employees. Come on now help the economy.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 16:14 | 2919539 williambanzai7

How could I fit them all under my Mom's back porch?

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 22:18 | 2920488 willwork4food

I work for food!

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 19:36 | 2920170 New_Meat

let alone pay all of the payroll++ taxes. Better to be a solo practicioner of rather good stuff.

Tage Frid made the same decision (master woodworker, would not take on staff, back when), e.g.

http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?an=frid&sts=t&x=0&y=0

That, dear friends is no-shit rugged individualism.

- Ned

{Frid was an ahtist and one hell of a teacher. Slurp up all of his books.}

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 14:52 | 2919288 Atlantis Consigliore

Lefty Zombie: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/07/09/house-opens-probe-on-nevada-d...

PLEASE PULL BACK, PULL WAY WAY WAYYYYYYYYYYY BACK. MORE VASELINE ON THE LENS, A LOT MORE.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:10 | 2919348 Mad Mohel

No amount of grease will hide that the bitch is a re-animated corpse. And last time I saw lips like that was the annual fishing trip to Lake Chicamacomico. Bet you she'll win though.

Thu, 10/25/2012 - 14:48 | 2919274 Dr. Engali