williambanzai7's picture


Observe the destruction of Meg
Her face is now splattered with egg
Her vision was wrong
Her own Lemon Song
She's unleashed a huge powder keg

The Limerick King

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AgShaman's picture

She looks so happy.

Has anyone told her she is on fire and crashing?

Yen Cross's picture

 Brilliant  #-7. That picture(with paypal logo), should have been on her campaign banners when she ran for "Governor of California"...

wahrheit's picture

She was born in Cold Spring Harbor, NY.  Just sayin'

monad's picture

She'll make a great bag lady.

MoneyMcbags's picture

Nothing good happens when you give a broad too much Autonomy.

to the pain,

Money McBags

ebworthen's picture

"Oh the Huge Manatee!"


The former management jumped ship after navigating HP into the Doldrums with water rations almost gone.

HP needed a bright smiling face to convince everyone these were great fishing grounds and if you get thirsty you can drink seawater (a.k.a. - Autonomy).

I'd bet HP gets bought by Oracle when the share price goes to $3 and HP Windows 8 tablets languish on the shelves of Staples and have to be sold below cost.

Stud Duck's picture

Using a manatee merged with the Hindenburg, then Megs head attached caused me again to spit coffee over lunch and log on today!

Wm, have a super Thankgiving, I am so grateful for the depth of your ability to clip art all the financial worlds fuck up!

Your work will probably be in the history books a few decade from now, just as the cartoons were in the books I read a 1/2 century ago.

As alway, keep up the great work!

williambanzai7's picture

Happy Thanksgiving to you and everyone as well. And remember I have a full clip of Thanksgiving material to unload... ;-)

10044's picture

already laughing!! happy tday

Jena's picture

I'd expect nothing less.  Happy Tday!

Cortez the Killer's picture

say what you want, but I'd hit it.

Jam Akin's picture

Over the head?  With an ax handle?

Wakanda's picture

In the boardroom, with the candlestick Folio laptop.

trichotil's picture

buy the canon printer that takes the cheapest brand x cartridges on ebay,

the cheapest printers typically dont take the cheapest cartridges.

learned this the hard way. hp blows, i now buy used thinkpads,

they usually last forever. another once great company brought

down by another kosher infiltraitor? shocking!

AGuy's picture


1. Late model HP Printers Suck. The older HP printers were great. I still have an old HP laser that I bought about 14 years ago.

2.  Choose a Canon Color MFP printer over an HP. Best bang for the buck. HP MFP printers Suck!

3. Been a long term Thinkpad User. They do last forever. I upgrade mine to keep up with the changes in technology. Faster\better processors, More Memory, better displays. Thinkpad is one of the few laptop designs that don't have annoying glossy displays. Although, I was disappointed with the Chicklet Keyboard on the newest Thinkpads released this summer. Thinkpads are also support by XenClient which allows you to run multiple VMs on a laptop.

HP does make OK server hardware. Certainly better than Dell & IBM.  Refurbished Cisco Networking gear is the best bang for the buck. You can buy grand father generation Cisco hardware for pennies on the dollar of the original cost, and it out performs the cheap Linksys and other consumer networking gear, and it lasts nearly forever.

Jena's picture

If you do much printing, use individual cartridges.  You'll save a lot of ink that way.  (Esepcially when the husband does a lot of work in red -- which would mean you do a lot of mostly red ink and a combination cartridge would be a waste of yellow and cyan, at a minimum.  I'm talking about painting and sculpture, not accounting).

Good to know about the Canon.  I've had great luck with the latest Epson but now that I type this it'll probably take it out on me...

rtalcott's picture

hp has been shit since Bill & Dave hit the road...the REAL hp has been called Agilent for maybe a decade...


hp = dell....


can't live off printer ink forever.

Disenchanted's picture




The Lemon Song


...I went to sleep last night, I work as hard as I can-a
I bring home my money, you take my money, give it to another man
I should have quit you, baby-a, oh, such a long time ago-ho
I wouldn't be here with all my troubles
down on this killin' floor



Squeeze me, babe, 'till the juice runs down my leg
Do, squeeze, squeeze me, baby, until the juice runs down my leg
The way you squeeze my lemon-a
I'm gonna fall right outta bed, 'ed, 'ed, bed, yeah

Wannabee's picture

HP is HP in name only. All the brains went along with Agilent spin off. Meg should give the name back and use something like PRintersRus

Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

Started w HP inkjets, the piece of crap would bleed color from the color cartridges when printing in B&W, and you couldn't program it to stop. If you took the color cartridgres out, it wouldn't rpint B&W at all. It was a license to steall from the end user.

I think they were sued in some class action suit. Don't know how that turned out

Finally had enough and went to B&W laser printing.

kurt's picture

That's right AND don't dare go on vacation or use the printer infrequently: the ink coagulates, scabs over. You are then instructed to use the "clean cycle" which uses, you guessed it, INK! It uses half the f'n cartridge. There should be executions ordered.

Shoot zem, shootz zem awl. I do enjoy the American cigarette.

williambanzai7's picture

As you can imagine, color printing is something that interests me. The truth is all these home printers suck. You can expect poor color balance and fading in due course. If you want a quality print you have to go and pay to get one.

Bohm Squad's picture

Hmmm...I don't see the golden parachute in that picture.

Bluntly Put's picture

Basically, I'm a nobody, but I was a loyal HP customer for decades starting off with my first HP 12C calculator in college. When I dowsed that calculator in some tequila, never mind specifics, HP replaced said unit with no charge no questions asked. I've purchased thousands of dollars of HP products since, and the last 2 machines I purchased were complete lemons.

I will never purchase another machine designed by the "masters of planned obsolesence" again, what a complete crap business model they have devolved into.

BigJim's picture

 ...but I was a loyal HP customer for decades starting off with my first HP 12C calculator in college...

yup, they used to make THE best calculators, scopes, printers... now they suck big time. And their 'support' is execrable.

williambanzai7's picture

I had problems with HP, but Epson as well. I think the printer business has become low grade garbage at the consumer level. Buy the cheapest one and use it till it breaks. After all, they make their profit on the ink.

Nobody For President's picture

Another great one, WB - as soon as I read the title I had an idea of where you were goin' with this one. The 'II' was a nice touch reminding all of the political run and crash. And Meg WAS on the board and bears some culpability, but she felt to me like a sacrificial goat from the get-go when she was appointed CEO.

I was a 20 year faithful HP printer guy 70's through early 90's, then the quality went south and ink costs north. I'm now a Canon guy, buy cheap cartridges off the web, junk the printer when it breaks, which is a reasonable time after purchase. 

Quality is adequate and cost is bearable for a home office, and they scan OK and fax OK for my limited needs on those ends - what the hell.

But it is always sad to see a once great company on the long, slow path of decline. Wonder how long APPL is gonna last?

Jam Akin's picture

Agree with you completely - Traded an HP piece of crap printer for a Canon a while back and have been much happier ever since.

Translator's picture



I'm too stupid to know that I really voted for Obama

williambanzai7's picture

I'll tell you the secret to detecting a fading tech company: gigantic acquisitions. That's it in a nutshell. So far as I am aware, there have been none of those around the Cupertino campus.

This also demonstrates something else. Boards of Directors are yet another TPTB skimming device. There are occasional exceptions. But primarily, they act as glorified notaries who are paid stipends in the $100s of thousands of dollars. Not to mention perks.

SgtSchultz's picture

Reading that with my third HP laptop in as many years on its last legs.........but I don't pay for them so WTF

greyghost's picture

banzai, that reminds in the early 2000's a poster on a gold web site figured the price of printer ink as a barrel of oil.....something along the lines of $3000 a barrel for

williambanzai7's picture

There is a thriving business in HK involving bootleg cartridge reloading kits.

Jumbotron's picture

HP Printer division should be doing well.


Really?  Have you seen the number of printer sku's this bloated piece of crap company has?  It's well into the 100's....maybe more.  Plus every printer manufacturer is hurting from the decrease in consumer printing and the posting of online pictures and digital displays.

Jumbotron's picture

+1000 Toner Cartridges !!!


LOL ! Glad I have a day to get over seeing this.....would have made a messy scene if viewed during Thanksgiving dinner !!

SmittyinLA's picture

I'm betting on Meg, her crafty handling of the illegal alien maid during her 160 million dollar CA governor campaign against an ancient legacy governor retread Jerry Brown sold me, she's just the kind of souless weasel corporations in America need to make a buck.


I bet she even evades CA income taxes (legally of course).


Fuck, now I gotta sell

wahrheit's picture


Ties to Goldman Sachs

Goldman Sachs, whose executives donated $100,000 to the Whitman campaign, manages a part of Whitman's fortune. As CEO of eBay, Whitman earned approximately $1.78 million resulting from a practice known as spinning whereby executives who did business with Goldman Sachs could reap profits by getting early deals before the public on hot IPOs offered by the bank. While Whitman was on Goldman’s board, she served on the compensation committee, which approved multi-million dollar bonus packages for then-CEO Henry Paulson and his top aides. Public domain documents reveal that Whitman has a multi-million dollar stake in 21 investment funds managed by Goldman.[42] Given Goldman's major investments in California state finances, all these ties to Goldman Sachs led to considerable controversy during the gubernatorial campaign.[42] In response, Whitman vowed to eliminate any potential conflicts of interest, and publicly stated that she would immediately sell her Goldman stock and put her Goldman-managed investments in a blind trust if elected governor.

Dealyer Turdin's picture

Automaton on the Autobahn

Scoopin' up treasures

Keep the pressure on

we've got Intel, but what's that smell?

Our Ebay Baby!  Don't mean maybe!


eatapeach's picture

Steal away, baby, steal away. Little Robert Anthony wants to come and play

Benjamin Glutton's picture

Kickback blowback bitchez!

Bastiat's picture

Meg failed to take the helm of the finanically doomed SS California but she got HP!  Bravo!

Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Fixing HP is childs play compared to fixing California.  I'll take angry shareholders any day over bloodthirsty teachers unions and a socialist-marxist legislature.

Fix It Again Timmy's picture

HP - Hewlett PukedIt...

LasVegasDave's picture

Chickenshit Banzai.

Meg is a nice person and a huge success, which I guess you hate.

Blankfein, sure, The Great Chairman, OK. But not every Fortune 500 CEO is a scumbag.

WillyGroper's picture

Really. What do you think she paid her illegal immigrant maid? A living wage? Sure.

gmrpeabody's picture

According to the IRS, she was paid 15k to 20k per year, and all the taxes and fees were withheld per the law. As it turned out, the SS number the maid supplied to her employers was a fake. Don't know about you, but paying a maid 20k for a thirty hour job seems about right. What do you pay your maid? 

willwork4food's picture

I pay her by the exquisite use of my masculine, ripped body. Good thing I'm married to her. Otherwise she might get pissed.