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SaNTa'S iPaD HaCKeD...

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SANTA IPAD HACK 2012

 

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Tue, 12/04/2012 - 13:04 | 3032721 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

the Medical MaryJane issue says it all about Barry's Christmas present. (I guess he didn't leave the RIGHT KIND of cookies on the table beside the chimney). the police don't want pot legalized, (just means more work for them,

citizen: hey he stole my stash, do something

police: well before legalization you would have never called the police, would you?

and secondly the growers don't want it legalized, because (regulation) will destroy their profit margins. never mind that the drug cartels in mexico kidnap people and hold their families hostage, while the man is sent to El Norte to grow pot on GOVERNMENT land.

its a bit like labeling China a currency manipulator, or somehow someway make some effort to relieve the prison labor problem in China, or do nothing and let Apple stock go to a 1000 (tough choice when you're the racketeer in chief)

and sometimes i think Bernanke is completely amoral.

 

(and the only people who want POT legalized is the customer)

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 12:13 | 3032586 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

"You're Jewish _?_"  ????

How in the hell would Santa think Barry might be Jewish?

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 12:48 | 3032690 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

Jews and Blacks in this country go wayyy back. and what did Barry say after Israel targeted some housewives and children in Gaza? Israel has the right to (de)exist any of its neighbors. but then Romney might have said the same thing (Jews and Mormons, now there's a connection.)

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 08:10 | 3031895 wstrub
wstrub's picture

correction.......nose stuck up Bernake's ass so far he can see Dimon's feet......

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 04:22 | 3031801 Padrone
Padrone's picture

For a next graphic it would be interesting to picture the runway of us debt in comparison with the voyager 1.

Translate 1km = 1dollar.

Voyager 1 is at 18billion distance from earth.

Us debt in its trillions may be near or past our nearest neighbouring star. The fiscal cliff may map with some beautiful nebula.

 

from: http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/news/news.php?release=2012-381

---x--

Voyager 1 and 2 were launched 16 days apart in 1977. At least one of the spacecraft has visited Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Voyager 1 is the most distant human-made object, about 11 billion miles (18 billion kilometers) away from the sun. The signal from Voyager 1 takes approximately 17 hours to travel to Earth. Voyager 2, the longest continuously operated spacecraft, is about 9 billion miles (15 billion kilometers) away from our sun. While Voyager 2 has seen changes similar to those seen by Voyager 1, the changes are much more gradual. Scientists do not think Voyager 2 has reached the magnetic highway.

--x--

 

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 06:29 | 3031840 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

...can I get a 10 36? The proper response would be a Roger Wilco, in order to confirm the rapture rhyme with the meaning. Show me some love. LMAO. ...or all you will hear next is the sound of silence. 

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 05:46 | 3031825 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

322 Morning Nebula Fiat Star Bones. LMAO, good one. I smell the coffee too. LMAO.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJzV0_SaV-k 

...that's a big green Arrow Up for you, so long as the name ain't Nimrod. Lol.

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 01:37 | 3031710 Demologos
Demologos's picture

I don't presume to correct Dr. Banzai, but Santa puts things in the stocking so the strike against President Barry should be that there were no medical marijuana cookies and warm glass of milk when Santa arrived.  Bad Barry!  He kept the choom for himself.

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 01:55 | 3031727 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Last years stocking ;-)

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 00:27 | 3031667 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

 Odolph the Red-drone reign-dear...had a laser-guided nose...

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 23:39 | 3031589 BlackholeDivestment
BlackholeDivestment's picture

Christmas Carol for the Groom in the Bride's dress, claiming to be ''Saint'' Nick.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzdUy90vTuk

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:30 | 3031429 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

done

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 21:57 | 3031367 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

BERNANK GRINCH AND TIMMAH

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:06 | 3031388 Sextus Empiricus
Sextus Empiricus's picture

Ohhhhhhhhhh... this is SO wrong... but it feels SO right!

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:22 | 3031421 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

This is a master piece ;-)

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:49 | 3031481 Sextus Empiricus
Sextus Empiricus's picture

When St. Augustine wrote "City of God" it took him 13 years to complete.  In modern print, it's about 1000 pages.

He said of it: "This is a great and arduous work, but God is my helper."

Kind of reminds me of this piece... hahaha

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 00:20 | 3031663 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

"This is a great and arduous work, but God is my helper."

Kind of like what Jamie said?

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:23 | 3031334 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

test failed meta Joan G Stark  (JGS)  rocks

 

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=jgs_.-%22%22

       _,,_    __
     d888888bd888b
    d88888888888888B
    8888888P`Y8888P
    Y888888   (, \_
   ,_Y88(          )
   Y888888b     __\
    '8"888P    (_  where the hell has lizzy36 been hiding
jgs      |  .---'
        ~;~~\~
        .=.  \
       (_ _)  \
        |=|    \
    _  /| |     \
   /_\/ | |      |
   .-'--/_/------'-.
  `-.,___________,.-'
         |   ||
         |___||
         |___||
        .'""'';.__
       (_________))

 

http://www.asciiworld.com/+-joan_stark_jgs-+.html

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 21:28 | 3031303 Sextus Empiricus
Sextus Empiricus's picture

Expect a knock from the Thought Police after this piece!

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 21:13 | 3031276 mess nonster
mess nonster's picture

is metastar the new limerick king?

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 20:56 | 3031248 fiddy pence haf...
fiddy pence haff pound's picture

kick ass stuff, you elfin bastard

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 20:55 | 3031247 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Banzai what can I (we) get you for Christmas  (seriously) name it and within reason* Santa will deliver

 

 

 

 

 

*exclusions  may include but are not limited to porsche, mercedes, tesla, ferrari, exotic vacations, whores, safaris or similar

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 21:53 | 3031353 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I never got the car fetish, although I drove Sports cars before I had kids. I've had my share of exotic vacations including safaris. Whores, what are those?

The truth is I could use a nice new Mac because the screen on the vintage PowerBook I'm running, which still runs fine 24/7, is not cutting it compared to what is now available and I think my eyes are suffering from it. When I look at some of my pictures on other new devices I can see an element of sloppiness caused by deficient screen resolution etc.

Maybe Santa will bring a miracle on Banzai7 Street.

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:55 | 3031493 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Doesn't Photoshop™ have some sort of magnifying glass widget?  GIMP does.

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 23:18 | 3031506 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

It does. But it is more than just drilling pixels. The display technology has really sky rocketed in quality. When I show people my woork on other new devices, they are laughing and I am often cringing at inadvertant mistakes in shading etc. They don't notice, but I do.

To give you an idea of the shoe string I run on, most digital artists use fancy Wacom tablets for drawing. I do everything with my index finger using the touchpad on my Mac. Luckily I am very dextrous. But it is like finger painting essentially.

My fantasy is to set up a small studio with a proper rig and space to do some modest production. I would then happily contract my services for commercial purposes that are congruent with my world view.

I have considered getting a job that puts me in such a space. But the truth is, without the academic design credentials, commercial houses are just not interested in creative talent. In fact creative is not what they want. They want predictable. Moreover, I don't see myself happily churning ad campaigns for consumer junk made in China.

I am learning in my midlife years, this is what it means to be a struggling artist. However, I am greatful for the experience.

The irony is a background in art school would never have resulted in what I am creating now.

 

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 13:15 | 3032766 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

I wish you success, sir. I truly enjoy your work.

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 23:26 | 3031562 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

sounds a bit dangerous

 dextrous fingers and a WACom tablet

 

actually very cool

http://www.wacom.com/en/products/pen-tablets/bamboo/bamboo-splash  what is one of those things worth

 

(and appreciate the aversion to tip jar - but for some ordering stuff is a hassle and less spontaneous it's the spirit of giving and appreciation December would be a perfect time to at least try it out )

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:03 | 3031376 Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

Get a Mac with a retina display, it looks really neat on my iPad 3.

 

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:39 | 3031459 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

you miss the point Tango - yes nice big Retina Display for Banzai

 

ZH is likely close to being in the top `1000 internet sites -- translates to hundreds of thousands of readers - banzai is the ZH star of stars (no disrespect to the other 'good' contributors)

 

a paypal account and 10 bucks from his fans would not only deliver him a stadium sized retina display but provide us all with that much more brilliance from him

 

Banzai - lots of bloggers set up tip boxes   on their sites - if you could do that I am guessing Santa would find his way to whereever you are

 

this is an example only (please do not deposit money though CalculatedRisk is a good guy)  http://www.cr4re.com/tipjar.html

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:49 | 3031480 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I don't place judgement on the sites that have tip boxes. For some reason I have just felt uncomfortable with it. I feel much better selling something to happy customers. That's just me. Maybe I should do a rethink.

The zazzle shop is good for zazzle and zazzle, but not the sellers, unless you do a design that sells 100,000 units. 

This is something I have to work out in short order.

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 09:16 | 3031998 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

Setup a BAC or, better yet, a SuperBAC.  I'd contribute.

BAC = Banzai Action Committee

Need a better "mission statement": All contributions go to exposing the rogues for what they really area.

Retina, Retina, Retina Display....

Pete

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 02:57 | 3031766 GottaBKiddn
GottaBKiddn's picture

Do it, Mr. Banz. I can't stand dodads, but I'd gladly fork over to show my appreciation. You've already given so much to all of us, do the gracious thing.

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 00:27 | 3031666 MrTouchdown
MrTouchdown's picture

Mmm.. But you ARE selling something. Give the readers a chance to let you know what they feel your art is worth to them. Setup a kickstarter page. Once you reach your goal for your new gear - you're in business!

 

http://www.kickstarter.com/

 

Do it hawt sawce. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:56 | 3031494 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Hey speaking of that do you have a 2013 calendar out at all?

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 22:58 | 3031500 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Very shortly. Two of them.

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 20:52 | 3031242 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

Be careful out there Santa, Obama has drones!

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 20:49 | 3031238 metastar
metastar's picture

 Here's to you banker scum ...

                          __
                        .:::'-.
                       /:::    '.
                      /:::       \
                     /:::    \:   |
                    /:::     |::  ;
                   /:::      \:: (
                  /::::       ':.)'.
              .'```--'`'-.__.-" /.  `\
             / (   '    '     '|  (' |
             |   '   .    )  . '.  ) /
             )  .  '    .     '  )_.'
             \   ;'--""-...-'-.__/
              '-/   ,          \
               ;_   )`-.     .( \
           ."``  `  |   `\   / | ;
          ;         \   _|  | _|  '-.
         |           '.(_/  \(_/     \
         |                __          |
          ;  `'.__.-     (._.)   ._.  /
           \     \         )      | /`
            `'.   '.      (      / ;
               '.   `'-'-._`  _.' /
                 `.        '-'   /
                  |`-.        _.'
                 _|   `. '--;`
        jgs_.-""` .`"=. .-._|
          /   '     )  ` .  `-""-.
          \ .  ( '   .    (    '  )
           `/-.__.--._  ' ._ '  .'
           /::::.     `""`` `--`\
          /::::::.               \

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 21:10 | 3031269 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

nice! 

You're a mean one, Mr. B
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. B
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 00:16 | 3031658 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Me thinks you've missed your cal-

HEADLINE SHIRTS BABE ALERT!!

God what a babe. Am i a pervert?

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 20:32 | 3031207 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

 

 

_____ The Male Elves are NOT available.

_____ Mrs. Claus's cookies are and always will be better than Michelle's (don't bother putting any out for me).

_____ The Island of Misfit Toys have a spot for your Blackberry, but not Susan Rice.

_____ The Female Elves are NOT interested in Timothy Geithner, despite his resemblance to an elf. 

_____ The Abominable Snowman will put the star on your tree in exchange for Blankfein and Dimon on a platter.

_____ No, you may not borrow my pipe.

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 12:31 | 3032639 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

____ Your Christmas wish list was written in Austrian

____  You misspelled pole as P-L-O-E

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 21:11 | 3031273 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Blankfein and Dimon are to be served rare to medium rare.

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 19:27 | 3031098 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

 

 

_____ 54 Christmas Trees!

_____ No coal for you (Only because my West Virginia supplier closed)

_____ You'll be in Hawaii (again)

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 18:35 | 3031001 robnume
robnume's picture

Williambanzai7, you have outdone yourself! You made me laugh so hard I peed my pants! Thanks!

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 20:13 | 3030949 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

2:49 AM at the North Pole?

Santa's working late on the naughty list, but 2012 has been a very naughty year - a particularly creepy kind of naughty.

I suppose he'll get to me before dawn breaks.  : - P

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 18:01 | 3030933 stant
stant's picture

santa will be drone dodging with inflated china contraband

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 17:43 | 3030870 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

I have seen that exact same smile on way too many certified douchbags. Jewish? his mother was Jewish ... Abner Mikva said Barry is Jewish (Abner new Jewish)... his best friends are Jewish.... pretty good case that Barry is a Jew, at least by their standards.

Tue, 12/04/2012 - 10:14 | 3032201 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

 

 

His mother was obviously 'well connected'

 

Barack Obama, His Mother, and the CIA
 The Anti-Empire Report

by William Blum ( http://www.killinghope.org )

http://www.foreignpolicyjournal.com/2012/07/04/barack-obama-his-mother-a...

 

Adding to the wonder is the fact that his mother, Ann Dunham, had been associated during the 1970s and 80s — as employee, consultant, grantee, or student — with at least five organizations with intimate CIA connections during the Cold War: The Ford Foundation, Agency for International Development (AID), the Asia Foundation, Development Alternatives, Inc., and the East-West Center of Hawaii.[5] Much of this time she worked as an anthropologist in Indonesia and Hawaii, being in good position to gather intelligence about local communities.

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 17:22 | 3030745 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

(cheating at) golf, million dollar vacations, that smirk, Michelle, BO (and who would effing name their dog using their frigging initials)

Mon, 12/03/2012 - 16:46 | 3030679 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

WORLD'S FIRST TEXT MESSAGE

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!