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Pity the Payrollers - America's Unsung Heros of the Fiscal Cliff.

bugs_'s picture




 

It will be natural to sing the praises of our elected leadership after they have hammered out their deal to raise taxes in order to avert the crisis.  To recall that raising taxes is ever always the solution will be just as easy as to forget to honor the unsung heroes of the fiscal cliff - the software people that maintain America's payroll systems.

Such is the lot of America's Payrollers that they often do not know what parameters to enter into their systems until after the last possible moment.  They know they must make payroll - or else.  So they enter the worst case scenario into their systems, generate the checks, and know all the while that less than understanding co-worker complaints await them.

Before they generate the checks they must test their system with the worst case parameters.  Usually this work is done at the last minute, i.e., over the holiday season.  There will be no pats on the back for this.

Unfortunately for our silent heroes this is not the end.  After a few more weeks of political showmanship there will be a new deal with new tax rates and income brackets.  All payroll systems will have to be modified and tested yet again to support the new parameters.  Previous checks will have to be adjusted and corrected in short order.  Mistakes and manual corrections will have to be made and remade.  Nobody will know where they stand for months.

Eventually - perhaps by the summer - all of the trials and tribulations for our heroes of payroll will be squared away.  Perhaps with the new revenue the debt ceiling debate will also be postponed to the summer.  Of course no debt ceiling debate could be complete without a discussion about raising additional revenue.  Such a debate might last through the next holiday season but there will be nothing to worry about.  America's Payrollers will be on the job to make sure the true fundamentals of our economy are strong.

This January when we all regard our paystubs (cliffstubs?) and smell that initial smell of the Austerity Bomb let us remember to not hold America's Payrollers in low regard.  Let us instead consider their plight as it is a side effect of our political stalemate.  It is a good bet that next holiday season America's Payrollers will be on tax parameter watch (again).

Therefore America please drink a New Years toast to your Payrollers.  May their compiles always work.  May their production runs not have to be redone.

Thanks Zerohedge!
Mark Hittinger
bugs_

 

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Mon, 12/31/2012 - 01:53 | 3108288 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

King George is looking better every day.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 02:47 | 3108320 Freddie
Freddie's picture

King George III or King GW Bush?  I think if the Framers knew we would end up with Dear Mullah - they never would have bothered.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 10:47 | 3108801 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Or Florida booted from the union after throwing the national in 2000.

Not a peep...

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 01:40 | 3108277 LadyEconomist
LadyEconomist's picture

There is no W-4 for 2013 yet. Tipically you give that form to your employees at the end of the year, so they are able to make withholidng allowances adjustments for the next year.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 00:03 | 3108171 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Checks?

Payrollers?

At least they have a job.

And it's called a computer spreadsheet; type in a couple formulas for each possibility and you're done.  "Check's" (try forced direct deposit to a TBTF bank) and "taxes" (tribute to the Crown) done by the computer in 30 seconds.

This isn't 1942 for payrollers or politicians or anyone else; it's France 1788 but with technology and more people.

 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 13:38 | 3109403 De minimus
De minimus's picture

No, it's 1916. Just before Lenin takes his train ride.

But everyone is being told that it's the big bad capitalists who are to blame, by a media who bought Lenin his ticket.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 00:06 | 3108177 ZeroAvatar
ZeroAvatar's picture

OFF TOPIC:  This just in:   Georgia county runs out of food stamps!  'Takers' waste no time with complaints:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ufk7IXdxc-c

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 12:57 | 3109247 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Zero:  Not that it ain't shameful, but that was Oct 2011.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 01:46 | 3108282 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

'Angel' having 15 children on welfare and her boyfriend done gon to prison. She angry at shocial workers...need mo money...they owe it to her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavou_SEj1E

 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 13:01 | 3109272 knowless
knowless's picture

this is the top comment on that video::

 

Someone needs to take this bitch the fuck out. Then they need to find her mother and her father and take them the fuck out. Then they need to find all of her hundreds of immediate? family members and take them the fuck out. Like we take out the mother fucking trash. That bitch is a stupid fucking whore and I bet the illiterate fucking nasty ass cunt can't even read this. Fucking entitled fucking bitch. I'm an all-the-way Obama supporting far left liberal and I can't stand your nasty ass. "

Tue, 01/01/2013 - 03:41 | 3111697 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

The stereo type democrat I thought loved angel's entitlements?

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 09:29 | 3108543 tango
tango's picture

The worst thing (by far) is that there are now 15 lifelong welfare addicts - 16 if you count "mom", 19 if you count the three "fathers".  The money spent on this woman and her family alone - rent, food, clothes, court, prison, child care - is astounding. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 08:04 | 3108422 dogfish
dogfish's picture

Our tax dollar at work.

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 22:16 | 3107964 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Pity seniors and pensioners who have their benefits linking to a CPI- COLA. They got almost zero for the past 4 years and only 1.6% increase this year. I agree fed employers desrve a raise.....linked to the CPI just like the COLA for evryone else....so be generous and give them a 1.6% pay raise this year.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 00:09 | 3108184 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yes, and the seniors who saved and were responsible and now are being punished with a generational loss in value of their savings invested in "free markets" (banker casino) and NIRP and ZIRP via a corrupt FED bent on bleeding them out while putting their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren into debt slavery.

All hail the Imperial Senate, the Emperor, and the Legions!

All hail the Kleptoligarchy!l

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 02:37 | 3108316 Freddie
Freddie's picture

I see this when I go grocery shopping with seniors that have no EBT/WIC credit cards like O voters.  They spend a lot time picking out a 8 or less items in their cart. Meanwhile illegals or ObamaPhone holders have two shopping carts loaded with crap.

Someone mentioned Krugman today and how I should just ignore him. No - he is a paid propagandist supporting this. 

In watching old and young  people having their futures destroyed by these liars - Krugman should be tar and feathered or castrated.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 09:15 | 3108500 tango
tango's picture

Freddie, this happened last week.   Not only must I (lifelong saver) witness folks whipping out their EBT card as if it was VISA, I see the other side.  We live in an affluent area but with layoffs and the rise in food prices, everyone is squeezed.  Xmas eve, a woman was telling her children they could get eggs or milk but not both.  She had cash in her hand. I made up some ridiculous tale - "I was the Xmas shopper, etc" and handed her $20.  You'd have thought it was a million.  I still can't get over it - milk or eggs!!!!  The first and last rule of economics - you gotta eat.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:03 | 3108837 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Its because it was a million!  Straight to the lottery counter to play with leftovers.

Rule 1, never use cash - even at Christmas.  Buy the milk and eggs but never give cash.

For the rest of the suckers on ZH, you will see this checkout tactic more and more.  Insert a couple child props and people shut off their brains and feed the beast by the beggar's con.

I know, it makes you feel like a central banker for a moment.   Do yourselves a favor if you want to be charitable, donate to an organization that can feed many as opposed to a single family.  Pantrys stretch much farther than broken family X.  

Besides most grocers donate the perishables to the pantry and raise your prices anyway, making us all pay twice n the Socialist States.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 10:55 | 3108810 northerngirl
northerngirl's picture

I was grocery shopping just before Christmas and ran into similar situation, but the woman was at the check out line.  I did cover the shortage, but that is not the point as you so eloquently stated, "The first rule of economics-you gotta eat." 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 11:18 | 3108856 Widowmaker
Widowmaker's picture

Bullshit.  The first rule of economics is there is no shortage, only the con from those who "can't count" -- can't count to what they actually have.  

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 21:27 | 3107876 cbxer55
cbxer55's picture

It's a good bet that soon after the Fiscal Cliff happens, probably by mid year, those payrollers will have a lot less employees on their books to make payroll for.  I don't know about anyone else, but I am cutting back big time when my checks start getting smaller.  And if the entire country repsonds in kind, there are going to be a lot of companies doing a lot less business this year.

Austerity does not just hurt the little guy. The little guy passes the buck up the ladder. Rent, food and energy, nothing else. And as little of it as you can get away with.

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 21:36 | 3107892 Salon
Salon's picture

Wage income is more stable than non wage income.

Austerity hurts high income people proportionately more, but they obviously have more resources to deal with it.

I dont spend shit now. Except guns, hookers, and other basic necessities.

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 21:56 | 3107925 Salon
Salon's picture

Lol. I am serious.

I can pay 500 for a cute amateur 20 something hooker who is so trusting she doesnt require a condom ( hence my preference for amateurs) or I can date a middle aged lady for free.

Try a Craigslist ad looking for a sugarbabe salary negotiable if you want to play too.

All the girls at the tity bar have stinky crotches. The skank disease.

Its worth 200 more and a little effort to get an amateur

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 02:26 | 3108309 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Hey Dude a little too much info or put it in the third person. i.e. my friends boat tipped over with his AR and his bullion.

I can relate to not spending shit right now and only on PMags and ammo if any can be found. 

Just because I worked harder and saved - I prefer not to exploit desparate people.   In addition, I would not brag about it in a PUBIC forum.  

I never did that shit with women when I was younger either.  I guess some guys can only score by being manipulative.  Life is getting harder for almost everyone and it is not pretty at all.  

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 09:10 | 3108497 tango
tango's picture

Freudian slip of the year - PUBIC forum.   LOLOL

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 22:33 | 3107996 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

you're overpaying for whoors-the girls at the local junior college will act get freaky for a hot meal and a tank of gas

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 22:44 | 3108031 Bindar Dundat
Bindar Dundat's picture

End game is here.....

I wanted to buy a few more supplies but unfortunately tomorrow will be to late.....

Internet comes down at about 4:00AM and from there your on your own boyz.....

 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 12:52 | 3109228 knowless
knowless's picture

if only..

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 23:42 | 3108148 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

"Internet comes down at about 4:00AM"

Sweet. I wanted a 4-day weekend. No Internet, no remote. Hosted LoB software is someone elses contract. Heh heh.

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 22:00 | 3107930 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Sounds like fun, but I don't think the CEO (my wife) will approve that.

{{sigh}}

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 03:49 | 3108347 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Who pays for sex?  Sick fucks. 

And I could be a lot more politically incorrect and much more crude than that but I will leave it at that.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 05:01 | 3108364 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Everybody-if you don't think you're paying, you're an idiot. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 12:57 | 3109250 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

gimmi five! - but please wash your hand first

Sun, 12/30/2012 - 21:17 | 3107851 Enslavethechild...
EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Wrong, everyone knows this is a bluff.

The most evil con in the history of man is not going to suddenly stop.

Ask any 5 year old

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