THe SCReaM...

williambanzai7's picture

“I walked along the road with two friends...Suddenly the sky became blood … I heard a huge extraordinary scream pass through nature.” Edvard Munch

This evening a pastel version of Munch’s famous vision "The Scream", will be put on auction at Sotheby’s New York, where it’s predicted to fetch 80 million Bernanke Dollars or more.

We live in the epoch of The Scream. We are constantly herded and manipulated by leaders who routinely resort to a propaganda toolbox loaded with fabrications of fear and public histrionics. 

Do we not have more than enough to Scream about?




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peekcrackers's picture
Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of


Careless Whisper's picture

EPIC !!! I watched lots of times because there's so many little details in there that need to be appreciated.  Well done Mister Banzai7.


Downtoolong's picture

I liked the video.  So, is this how BofA plans to handle foreclosures from now on? Something tells me the babe doesn’t work for the insurance company.

Actually, it kind of reminds me of how my wife cooks. You should see the kitchen when she’s done.

metastar's picture

My 16 year old son sent me this the other day. I guess there is some hope for the future ...

You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away

You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

EnronVenture Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

AndersenModel Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You shred them

You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads because you want 3 cows.

You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are 1/10 the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

You have 2 cows. You count them and learn that you have 5 cows. You count again and learn you have 42 cows. You count again and learn you have 2 cows. You open another bottle of vodka.

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have ful lemployment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reports otherwise.

You have 2 cows. You worship them.

You have 2 cows. Both are mad.

Everyone thnks you have many cows. You tell them you have none but they don’t believe you and bomb the shit out of your country. You still have no cows but at least you are part of a democracy.

NewZealand Capitalism
You have 2 cows. The one on the left is looking pretty sexy..

You have 2 cows. Business seems good. You close the office and go for a few celebratory beers.

gwar5's picture

That was great.  Thanks.


Obama goes up to redneck dairy farmer: "Hey, I see you have a lot cows. Why don't you give away half of your milk to the poor?  

Farmer: I got 500 head, all got birth certificates, too. You giving half your shit away?

Obama: Can't do that. See, I worked hard to get where I'm at and it's a lot harder for black people, generations of struggle. Dontcha know?

Farmer: Oh, I know... Welcome to the Republican party.





akak's picture

Chinese Citizenism Capitalism:

You have 2 cows.  Cows graze on polluted and toxin-contaminated grass.  Cows shit on roadside, along with milkmen.  Milkmen stretch milk with ethylene glycol, melamine and plastic powder.  Communist Central Committee approves, hires 100 online trolls to endlessly preach the superiority of Chinese Citizenism milk, deny poison nature of Chinese Citizenism milk, and create fiction of time-traveling US citizenism algebraic coconut milk.

Later, cows escape from locked stalls, become pregnant, receive forced abortions, sent to Bovine Re-education Camp #47.

StychoKiller's picture

My cow list:


You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.  Your stock goes up.

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class.

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' s private parts.  You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders
You have two cows.
You wish they were pigs.
You don’t milk them because you have plenty of melamine.
You build them five barns.
You put both cows in just one of the barns, along with 300 migrant laborers from Ginsu Province.
You paint the other empty barns red, green and gold.
You get an Honorable Comrade Mention for doing your part for GDP.  You name your combination farm enterprise and real estate conglomorate Double Lucky Golden Fortune Happiness & Sons.

Grinder74's picture

Does your son need a date?  The 19-year old HS drop-out who was trying to date my 16-yr old daughter has mysteriously disappeared.

metastar's picture

Does she have any cows?

Grinder74's picture

Some of her friends are, yes.

Kassandra's picture

Most days, it's all I can do to NOT scream...

whoknoz's picture

so far, the sounds of silence on this one...

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Every time I look around me everything seems so stationary
It just sends me the impulse to become reactionary
Spell it out, rip it up, rearrange it, on the contrary
If I scream it I mean it, I hope you will understand me