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FaCeBiLK: 2.0 BiG 2.0 Fail 2.0

williambanzai7's picture




 

Here is what we know:

1. Their users don't trust them.

2. Advertisers like GM don't believe their advertising platform works.

3. They don't understand mobile.

4. Their crack design/engineering team is too feeble to design a simple photo APP like Instagram.

5. Their shareholders are dying to sell out in the IPO.

6. The valuation is hyperfrothy.

See you in the "Golden Turdball", and don't be late...

 

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Wed, 05/16/2012 - 14:54 | 2432585 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Seen this?

MM

 

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:50 | 2432240 tamboo
tamboo's picture

lol yeah white hispanic, suuuure. his mom's name is gladys, a mexican favorite eh? he'd already be doing hard time if he wasnt a cryptojoo. zimmerman is bob dylan's birth name, cant get more heeby than that. in case you didnt notice we live under a double standard talmudic legal system, hence the fail whale and his heeb pals all have immunity, any nonjoo gets the shaft. thus you can be high as hell and kill two guys and still get house arrest. a similar dude in illinois got 30 years.

 

Heir Ryan LeVin gets house arrest

 

Author correctly identifies Instagram as the country fried steak of photography

 

easily worth a billion since it's run by joo know who.

 

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 14:00 | 2432285 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

On Instagram: you can't blame the gun for what the owner does with it.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:44 | 2432201 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

FacePalm

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:39 | 2432186 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

The Faceboobs with the two 'Os' is an inevitable tie in to gOOgle...

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:42 | 2432192 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

And the Boogie man.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:24 | 2432098 soopy
soopy's picture

Absolutely brilliant.  Great 6-point summary too.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:34 | 2432154 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

The launch will go as planned and none of those factors will put a damper on it. Because the whole thing is greater fools theory.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:42 | 2432190 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Are muppets > infinity? Hard to believe there are THAT many fools.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:42 | 2432202 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

The smart money is definitely playing for the quick flip. The suckers are the 401ks who have to come in in the secondary market.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:56 | 2431957 ptoemmes
Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:45 | 2431886 resurger
resurger's picture

+5 Soaps WB

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:58 | 2431970 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Seconded ...Motion Carried

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:37 | 2431814 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Those went by too fast, had to go back and step them.

Zuck as the cane-holding con man = sublime!

Squidface = Photoshop genius! Also somewhat creepy, which was, of course, the point.

Live long and prosper, Banzai!

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:39 | 2431843 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

You can click the image and it will pause or you can put your cursor at the bottom and you can choose which image you want to see.

You can also set the slide show speed by moving your cursor to the top.

Having said that, it works slightly different depending on your browser.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:58 | 2431968 surfwon
surfwon's picture

Banzai.......... isn't it called FacecrOOk

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:07 | 2432015 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I thought about that along the way. But no one has yest said that they have violated any laws.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:47 | 2431908 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Never pass up an oppurtunity to bash another Yid, do you Bill

Or throw some red meat to your loyal anti jew followers.

You really are blind to how your art is a rallying cry for anti-jewish sentiment.

Oh right, I remember some of your "loved ones" are Jewish.  I guess that makes it OK.

Im sure their were some pretty sharp cats just following orders in Goebbels prop ministry too.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:05 | 2431996 Paul Atreides
Paul Atreides's picture

Fact is anti semetic

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:15 | 2432047 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Anti semantic...

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:05 | 2431949 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

You are being absurd.

Just as much as I loath people who blame everything on Jews and Zionism. I have the same sentiment for those who claim that criticisms of the financial establishment are all anti-semitic in nature. Similarly I have no use for those who claim the slightest hint of criticism concerning the behaviour of Israeli politicians presages another holocaust.

Religion and ethnicity have nothing to do with it. You should know better, inasmuch as I often rely on you to police the riff raff who insist otherwise.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:20 | 2432076 William113
William113's picture

William, its okay if you pick on a White Spanish guy from fl. that is going get charged with a hate crime for shooting a Black kid that attacked him. But don't pick on the jooos. Bazinga.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:40 | 2432144 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

That situation is a hornets nest of racial profiling and stereotyping. Nothing new with that.

But it is safe to say that that guy, who happened to be Hispanic, is an asshole and some assholes get beaten. So the moral is don't beat an asshole with a gun. I learned that valuable lesson a long time ago.

I don't like getting embroiled in arguments about racism, bigotry etc. If that is what I wanted to do, this is not the site I would be posting on.

I try to police my threads to keep it civil here and I have been commended on my apparent success.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 14:16 | 2432386 MrPalladium
MrPalladium's picture

Group resource competition and conflict always arise in times of economic contraction and hardship. Sometimes it is best to roll with it - within limits, of course. I remember 50 years ago the news media was full of references to "evil rich wasps" and nobody seemed to give it a second thought. Obviously, not all groups are equal in their ability to tolerate criticism.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:21 | 2431769 rlouis
rlouis's picture

BraVo Wb7!!

Seen Tabbi's recent article in which the Squid gets honorable mention?   An excerpt to titilate:

 

I contacted Morgan Lewis, the firm that represents Goldman in this matter, earlier today, but they haven’t commented as of yet. I wonder if the poor lawyer who FUBARred this thing has already had his organs harvested; his panic is almost palpable in the air. It is both terrible and hilarious to contemplate. The bank has spent a fortune in legal fees trying to keep this material out of the public eye, and here one of their own lawyers goes and dumps it out on the street.

The lawsuit between Overstock and the banks concerned a phenomenon called naked short-selling, a kind of high-finance counterfeiting that, especially prior to the introduction of new regulations in 2008, short-sellers could use to artificially depress the value of the stocks they’ve bet against. The subject of naked short-selling is a) highly technical, and b) very controversial on Wall Street, with many pundits in the financial press for years treating the phenomenon as the stuff of myths and conspiracy theories.

Now, however, through the magic of this unredacted document, the public will be able to see for itself what the banks’ attitudes are not just toward the “mythical” practice of naked short selling (hint: they volubly confess to the activity, in writing), but toward regulations and laws in general.

“Fuck the compliance area – procedures, schmecedures,” chirps Peter Melz, former president of Merrill Lynch Professional Clearing Corp. (a.k.a. Merrill Pro), when a subordinate worries about the company failing to comply with the rules governing short sales.



Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/accidentally-released-and-incredibly-embarrassing-documents-show-how-goldman-et-al-engaged-in-naked-short-selling-20120515#ixzz1v39Cdc7r

 

 

 

 

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:05 | 2431997 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

this goes back to the rule change which ended paper certificates. (1980's?) the rule change was hugely BULLISH for the stock market, as you can imagine it would be impossible to buy and sell stock shares in a few minutes while it takes days to transfer the certificates and the titles. short selling procedures piggybacked the change.

the market is rigged to go higher, if anyone believes naked short selling is a problem. the short seller has to enter his side of the trade on the uptick, and the transaction is essentially a promise to buy the stock at some later date. short selling is BULLISH for the market, and that includes naked short selling. if it were possible to drive a (poorly managed) company out of business, Overstock would be on the dust heap.

brokers routinely get notice of call ins. when the supply of stock available for short sales is reduced, shares are called in, the broker knows ahead of time. in almost every case the share price goes up in the next few days. 

it's much harder to find shares to short at a full service broker, (they follow the rules) while day traders using online websites can short just about anything, on a moments notice. (haven't tried it in a while, if anyone has a difference experience)

short selling has become more difficult because companies now buyback their own shares using cheap and easy bernanke dollars. they increase their own share of the float. management of Overstock was trying to do this at the time this all happened. if management doesn't control the float, then some friendly hedge fund will, so that the most hyped undperforming company can continue to grow share price.

recently a big hedge fund(?) took out a rather large position on JC Penney, and the position blew up, which is rather odd. usually when a hedge is in that close they live in the CEO's pocket. they also do the good work to get the earnings bar lowered, and when the stock does miss, they are there to buy as much as is needed to paint the tape. (they call it accumulation in chart talk). the hedge sometimes short their own positions just ahead of earnings. covering those shorts starts a rally, which is good, and if the stock drops they're covered too.

you have to see how BULLISH shorting really is. finally if there are no shorts available, the options sellers will demand more premium for his puts, because he has no way to hedge the risk. if there was no short selling puts would be prohibitively expensive, which as I said is portforlio insurance, and put selling is a great way for the big houses to make a few dollars. (the margin on naked put selling is prohibitive for individuals, but a big house can use its portfolio as collateral, and when things blew up in 87 the put sellers got nailed to the wall)

short selling isn't even a real market transaction, its a bet or wager between third parties. and in the event of a real market crash it offsets the tendency of events to vaporize the market cap, which has usually been run up on margin (they can run em up, why can't they run em down? because the market is designed to inflate the value of money)

 

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:17 | 2431759 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Banzai7,

You take all the fun out of Ponzinomics.

Shame on you. :)

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:10 | 2431735 Convolved Man
Convolved Man's picture

... and you can't have enough friends.

 

I'm Mark's 93,453,637th friend.   Can't wait to get my slice of the pie.

 

Does that pepper spray come in cool mint?

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:11 | 2431732 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

Facebukkake

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 11:56 | 2431680 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Hey Banzai7, the cop with the pepper spray is perfect. very nice. Where is that cop? I'm sure he was promoted.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 11:58 | 2431690 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

What people don't fully appreciate about memes like the Pepperspary Cop, they are actually modern cultural icons. Enter Banzai7...

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:20 | 2432080 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

COUNTER cultural icons I would like to believe.  That cop should be beaten within an inch of his pathetic life, and then beaten again.  These cops are real tough when they're beating up old ladies, women and kids.  

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:27 | 2432109 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I am loosely using the term to refer to images loaded with cultural meaning.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:52 | 2431941 Paul Atreides
Paul Atreides's picture

+1 for pepper spray cop, know your meme!

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:34 | 2432157 nonclaim
nonclaim's picture

I like the centaur holding the umbrella.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 11:55 | 2431677 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Damn the Torpedoes!!!  Full Steam Ahead!!!

 

You say potato I say potato...didn't I just say that?

 

I'm going to compete with Facebook and start Assbook.  Much more interesting

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 11:53 | 2431671 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

As funny as a William Banzai post - 'satire' but truthful - Onion News Report on the CIA's Facebook project:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqggW08BWO0

Facebook is documented as a CIA company, set up with CIA funds, which was artificially pumped up into dominance by the CIA's Google - Google Inc. also documented as developed with CIA funds.

The CIA does much main recruiting at Harvard - going back more than half a century - and at Harvard they selected Mark Zuckerberg from the large group of ultra-Zionists there, to be the CIA dude getting wealthy from Facebook.

Zuckerberg is a CIA tool, as is fellow arch-Zionist and internet hoaxter, the criminal Jimmy 'Jimbo' Wales, posing as the 'founder' of the CIA's Wikipedia, another website artificially pumped by Google for CIA and US regime related purposes - they let 90% of Wikimedia appear 'neutral' so the other 5-10% can be US regime lies for specific purposes, like attacking Muslims, or dissidents to the US or Israel.

The way that Google-CIA artificially pumped CIA-Wikipedia over several years, was practice for how they pumped CIA-Facebook.

The CIA funding at the origin of Facebook -

« ... funding into Facebook ($US12.7 million) came from venture capital firm Accel Partners. Its manager James Breyer ... served on the board ... of In-Q-Tel, a venture capital firm established by the Central Intelligence Agency in 1999. One of the company's key areas of expertise are in "data mining technologies". »
http://adventofdeception.com/facebook-ciacover-nwo-agenda/

'Ex-Agent: CIA Seed Money Helped Launch Google', retired intelligence agent Robert David Steele interviewed by Paul Joseph Watson, and speaking of the CIA's Dr Rick Steinheiser and his connections with Google:
http://www.infowars.com/articles/bb/google_cia_seed_money_launched_googl...

The CIA's main internet tool, Google Inc. at work - Here is Google's censoring of an important political refugee from the US in Belgium (whose avatar I use as a way of honouring him) - a Sachs unconnected with Goldman Sachs - who went to Harvard and the CIA tried to recruit him, too, but he became a dissident against America, and barely got out of America alive:

Live Photo: Google Inc. Caught Censoring EU Search Results (for USA - CIA)
Google Internet Censorship - Censure d'Internet par Google - Internet censuur door Google
http://www.flickr.com/photos/22325431@N05/6100668211/in/photostream

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:39 | 2432181 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Anyone who thinks Wikipedia is 'neutral' should simply read Martin Armstrong's Wiki page...

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:48 | 2431915 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

Whether Facebook was or was not originally setup as a CIA operation is not the current issue.

The Central Planners and their intelligence arms leave no stones unturned.  They will use/infiltrate/take over or direct any enterprise that plugs into the world wide communications network.

This includes EMails, Internet message boards and forums, devices like iPods, cellphones, satellite and drone surveillance, video cameras permeating the public grid and much more.

The information gathering techniques of 20 years ago are like kindergarten toys compared to the brave new world of espionage and surveillance we are now immersed in.

You can be assured that Google, Facebook and similar enterprises are all compromised and will be used by TPTB.

If you do any research on the web, there is a wealth of information about this topic.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:35 | 2432162 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

what he said

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:24 | 2431790 aerojet
aerojet's picture

Tinfoil asshattery.  You really expect me to believe that guys like Zuckerberg are "chosen" by some Zionist high council to be the next mega-bajillionaire in order to hold together some overly-complicated scheme for ruling the world based on mass surveillance through Facebook?  Give me a fucking break!  I would have sooner believed that it is all related to some kind of alien takeover of the planet involving making people post more pictures of their leisure activities.  Facebook is a gigantic waste of time, but then, that's it's entire purpose for being!  It's not a conspiracy.

Of what value would all the data mining be?  It's not like potential terrorists go out on Facebook to announce their next moves.  If anything, Facebook has laid bare these idiotic conspiracy theories.  The Virginia Tech shooter and the Ft. Hood shooter both had Facebook accounts that revealed what absolute psycho nut-jobs they were/are.  There was nobody pulling their strings, they were just disaffected idiots. 

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 11:54 | 2431668 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture
I found this nice rant in the Google Sucks.org- I couldnt say it better myself  Yes, fuck you google (I'm not capitalizing that shit on purpose.) Fuck you and all your superfluous "features."

Fuck you for breaking gmail when it worked. With all the resources and power you have to help people and ease the suffering in this world, you decide to utilize your power to fucking break gmail? Fucking idiots. Go fucking shoot yourselves.

Fuck making my gmail login tied to every little fucking thing I search on the web and every video I watch on youtube. (You know how your gmail address log in appears in the upper right corner of the screen?) Fuck that.

Fuck you for trying to get me to use every one of your shitty products and programs. I don't want a "dashboard" cluttered with useless google shit, I just want to check my email and get the fuck out.

Fuck google wave, fuck google plus, fuck google chrome, fuck google docs, and fuck everything else google has ever done, which has never done anything to help humanity in any way - only to fuck it up.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:23 | 2431781 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

begin at duckduckgo and end at ubuntu.........

 

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:12 | 2431718 What is The Hedge
What is The Hedge's picture

Then don't use Google!! What do you expect for free? Google owes you nothing!!!

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 12:13 | 2431738 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

but it is stuck on the bottom of my shoe and it is hard to get off....know a good cleansing agent> one to completely degiggle my mac?

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 13:41 | 2432185 SILVERGEDDON
SILVERGEDDON's picture

Yes. I do. A 12 gauge shotgun, and 8 rounds of double ought buckshot. Then, pour a gallon of gas on it, toss on a match. Takes the Google shit out EVERY TIME. Then buy a new computer and use Startpage. You dumb ass, for using Google to begin with, and double that if you run a Facebook page. Triple header if you Twitter. Let it all die in a fire, and do things right from this point onwards.

Wed, 05/16/2012 - 14:20 | 2432415 BudFox2012
BudFox2012's picture

Spot On.  One problem though, if you don't have a fakebook page, fakebook will create one for you based on the conversations of your moron friends who are on facebook (look up facebook shadow pages).  Also, you are probably put on every terrorist watch list without that fakebook account.

Also, I like Start Page, but they use google's search results.  If you completely want to break free of all that is google, duckduckgo.com is another privacy-minded search engine that does not use google for anything (there are others out there too).

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!