Will you pay $2,000 to have a kid read 12 books of your selection?

hedgeless_horseman's picture

Summer will arrive, and students may have a more difficult time finding a part-time job than in years past.  Is there a teenager, maybe even your own child, for which you care for and want to do something to help him or her find a way to make some money this summer?  Do you fear the teen is going to spend the entire summer watching youtube videos of bad lip reading, smoking incense, and virtually killing people on XBox?  Are you willing to spend as much as $2,000 to try to make the world an incrementally better place, and definitely give the teenager a leg-up in life? 

If your answer is yes to these questions, then consider joining me in hedgeless_horseman's Sad Attempt To Keep Unemployed Teens Out of Trouble By Paying The Lazy Punks To Read Something Potentially Worthwhile Summer Scholarship Program

Here is how it works.  First, make a list of a dozen books that you believe are worthwhile for teenagers.  Below, is my current list, along with brief explanations of why I believe each book is worthwhile for teenagers. 

Second, purchase all of the books to give away.  If you want a copy of a book for yourself, then buy an extra.  These books are to get the kid started with a library of his or her own.  Get real books made out of paper.

Third, place a reward value on each book indicating what you are willing to pay the kid to read it.  I do understand this is very co-dependent, sick, sad, and wrong on many levels, but I have decided that I don't really care.  Longer and more technical books get a higher reward in my system.  However, having a higher reward for the books one feels are most important might also work.  In my experience, the total value of all the rewards is a more important number in the eyes of the kid than the value on any one book.  They want to know, "what is the value of the entire summer scholarship?" 

Fourth, write a short and simple contract for the entire scholarship that includes the list of books and clearly explains the timeframe, rewards, and the fact that the teenager only receives pay after completing a book, holding a lengthy and detailed discussion with you about the book, and possibly passing an oral or written examination. 

Finally, present the contract to the teenager for consideration, but do not sell the idea, or negotiate in any way.  If he or she decides to pass on the offer, which is okay, then thank him or her for the consideration, and look for another teenager to repeat the proposal.

Abraham: A Journey to the Heart of Three Faiths, P.S. Edition
Bruce Feiler, $    10.39 
In today's world where all sides try to dehumanize the enemy, we should understand that Jews, Christians, and Muslims pray to the same God. 
Reward:  $        50.00

Beyond the Yellow Brick Road: Revised
Bob Meehan, $    20.00
All teenagers are going to be exposed to drugs, most are going to try drugs, many will become addicted, some will want help for themselves or others.  This book can help.
Reward:  $        50.00

Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen
Christopher McDougall, $    10.85
Inspirational, entertaining, and gives the reader all he or she needs to become, and stay, physically fit.
Reward:  $        50.00

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, 10th Anniversary Edition
Daniel Goleman, $    16.29
In a world where teens must interact with others, it is immensely helpful to have read an Operations Manual for our psyches.
Reward:   $     250.00

Excel 2010 For Dummies, 2010
Greg Harvey, $    13.70
Understanding Excel is a foundation skill of many 21st Century jobs, appears on most resumes, but actually resides in very few brains.
Reward:  $     150.00

Graham and Dodd's Security Analysis, Fifth Edition
Sidney Cottle, et al, $    10.00
This one book can put every reader, even a teenager, light years ahead of many, if not most, Wall Street professionals.
Reward:   $     350.00

The Creature from Jekyll Island: A Second Look at the Federal Reserve, 5th Edition 
G Edward Griffin, $    24.50
Griffin explains money, banks, and some important history.  A must read for everyone in America today.
Reward:  $     200.00

The Double Helix, Annotated and Illustrated 50th Anniv.
James D Watson, $    17.43
Every kid will gain from this glimpse into real science and the process of discovery.
Reward:   $        50.00

The Elements of Style, 4th Edition
William Strunk, et al, $      8.26 
The book that started me on this sad attempt.  We can all improve our writing.
Reward:  $        50.00

The Encyclopedia of Country Living, 40th Anniversary Edition
Carla Emery, $    19.77
Especially if one does not live on a farm, it is a good thing to know the how, when, what, and where of providing for ourselves.
Reward:  $     175.00

The Killer Angels: A Novel of the Civil War 
Michael Shaara, $    16.32
An unforgettable illustration of war, and the things we are capable of doing to one another.
Reward:  $     100.00

The Way to Cook
Julia Child, $    26.00
This is the most aptly titled book on this list.  Huge benefits may be reaped from a teenager reading it before moving away from home.
Reward:  $     150.00

That is $ 193 in books and $ 1,625 in incentives, for a total investment of less than $2,000.  Should I pay to cause my children to read these 12 books?  That is up for discussion in the Zero Hedge comments, below.  Will I pay?  Yes.  Absolutely, I will pay. 

Will you pay a kid to read 12 books of your selection?


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mumcard's picture

History of the Great American Fortunes -- Gustavus Myers (a little left, but lots of truth here)

Fabian Freeway:  The High Road to Socialism in the USA -- Rose L. Martin (free around the net)

For Good and Evil:  the Impact of Taxes on the Course of Civilization -- Charles Adams  (a must read for everyone)

FlyinaRage's picture

I would gladly pay them Tuesday, or anyone else for that matter, if they would just read one book for me;

"The Best That Money Can't Buy".

Pascal1967's picture

Excellent post. Killer Angels is fantastic!

Pascal1967's picture

Excellent post. Killer Angels is fantastic!

New_Meat's picture

H_H: great job.  Adler and Hutchinson did some publishing in this area, including classics for younger readers; might add to the list. - Ned.

Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Thanks everyone for suggesting such wonderful books! I have read mquite a few myself and I was reminiscing my high school and college years. My kids had required reading during their high school summer breaks and many of these books were read. They had to submit on line synopses of the books to their English teachers weekly. It was a percentage of their grade the following year and, yes, the teacher would require redos if the salient points weren't covered. I guess I am a bit queasy paying them for this. Just as it is my job to provide shelter,food and education, in my view, it's their job to do well in school. I pay for chores done. The other point I have is many of the classic books read in high school and college often seem to kids today to have little relevance to modern times. My kids were a little lost reading Pride and Prejudice and had to explain the context in which it was written. One doesn't get the fully benefit just reading a book. Discussion and debate as a family really brings the book alive.Just my two cents.


BigInJapan's picture

You know, H_H, you're a fairly inspirational fellow.

I say do whatever it takes. My parents fostered my own love of books by making a deal with me as a kid. Go to bed and lights out, or go to bed and read for an hour before lights out.

My boys will get the same deal. 

Groundhog Day's picture

HH thanks for the list.  I already started my 9 year old on data mining and data entry on Excel for my business and i reward him with cash which he wants to use to buy silver.  I think he reads a little too much ZH with me so this list should keep him busy

Non Passaran's picture

The Government would sure be interested to know that child labor in the US is not dead :-)

billsykes's picture

I am always blown away by the intelligent comments on zh.


Even the "bad" (voted down) books are not the worst thing you can read. 

Charles De Gaulle's "the edge of the sword"  was one that is hard to get but great. 

"mastering the art of french cooking" 


Anything that Gatto recommends is great too- the stuff by locke- a bit long and dated writing style for me. 

New_Meat's picture

Edge of the Sword:

http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?an=charles+de+gaulle&sts=t... and pricey, not sure that La Grande Charles avec La Grand Nez would be worth it.

Local PBS still doing a) old Julia (black and white) shows and b) newer ones with Jaques Pepin.

- Ned

Ned Zeppelin's picture

HH all kidding aside this is a terrific article. Good idea.  It has occurred to me to provide cash rewards to my 21st century e-Kids to read actual paper books, so I think I may do a smaller version of this, but cop someof your titles.



rsnoble's picture

Well it will be more productive than my summers were. I still recall the summer prior to my freshman year in HS was fingerfucking sistermary rotten crouch next door, drinking my friends parents alcohol and getting stoned almost everyday.  Where were my parents? They were both alcoholics and started drinking as soon as they got home and never had any idea what I was up to. Don't get me wrong I thought they were cool as fuck lol and oddly my other friends parents were the sameway.  Yep, I handed day fake report cards all the way till the day I barely graduated.  Luckily I turned out fairly well no complaints whatsoever.

I don't have a problem with this.  And the idea of making the list for the kids isn't so bad because the little fuckers are being brainwashed and would have no idea what to read on their own.  If anything you can add electives.  They need to learn how shit really is and that list starts them down that path and not on the little goody two shoe government cocksucker wagon.

centerline's picture

Good suggestion HH.  Would be worth every cent.  I believe I am going to go this route asap.

My father is an avid reader and owns most of the books people are mentioning here.  I have a bunch too.  Hence, free access to the material.  Plus, my kids were raised reading books.  From as early as possible.  My son actually reads on college level and he is only in 6th grade.  I don't think he is ready yet for some of the tough subjects though.  My daughter however is 3 years older and is definately ready.  She is a critic too (listening to me more these days as she sees things play out in the real world) - lol.


lindaamick's picture

I would have every high schooler read Zinn's A People's History of the United States.

The reason I would choose this book is to offer youngsters a peek into the histories of average folk and their struggles in the US.  It also offers a peek into the definition of "democracy" utilized here which is really no democracy in the sense of everyone having an equal say but instead voting and rule by aristocrats. Thirdly, it would give youngsters a peek into the true "class" situation here in the US and therefore the old maxim that if you aren't rich it is because YOU did not work hard enough and it is all YOUR fault is debunked. Fourthly, I would have youngsters read it to see how movements create change and cooperative movements are vital and necessary to make the aristocratic class sometimes do the right thing by humanity. 

There are many other important lessons to be gleaned from Zinn's historical point of view. 

It might encourage more critical thinking among youth when they perceive the cognitive dissonance between the propaganda they get in school vs another perspective.

Georgiabelle's picture

Trust me, kids in public high schools are already getting the Howard Zinn version of history. The often alleged leftist tilt in the social studies departments of most public high schools is very real. I am astounded by some of the content, particularly in US and World History classes. If your goal is to broaden your childrens' horizons they would be better served by reading history written from a more classical/traditional viewpoint. I actually recommend that high school level students read the original historical source documents whenever possible---the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, The Federalist Papers, The Gettysburg Address, etc---and draw their own conclusions. This is the way AP US History and AP World History are taught and it is very effective in encouraging critical thinking. You could buy an AP US or World History study guide to use as a template and supplement with selected historical fiction to give them a sense of the ethos of the various historical periods.     

Umh's picture

No. I thought about this and the problem is that it won't work. Waiting until the children understand money is just waiting to long.

I've thought for years that the only way to get most children to read is to get them to read for enjoyment. I have met a few people who are intelligent and successful who don't like like to read, but they are a definite minority. I do not claim to be unusually bright, but I do not remember not being able to read or play chess for that matter. I believe this is because I was given good examples by the people who surrounded me and they enjoyed interacting with children. I have watched little children who wanted to read just because they saw other people reading.

Stud Duck's picture

Hedge, are you trying to tell them what to think instead of how to think???

augustus caesar's picture

Let them decide what they would like to read on their own, this is just another attempt at paternalism. If you really want your children to succeed you must allow them to make independent decisions experiencing the full benefits and consequences of their actions. If the feedback cycle of action-reaction is corrupted by external information overriding personal experience enough times the logical deductive mind's ability to make decisions without that external factor atrophies. You may be helping your child at the time by giving them good information, but every time you do it you run the risk of either eroding their belief in themselves or overinflating their ego due to lack of failure. This is the benevolent form of 'read this book or you will be punished'.

ISEEIT's picture

What crap. As a parent you have the obligation to suggest and encourage the formation of wisdom. Many of the books on his list would be considered foundational to an accurate representation of reality and or quite useful to the average individual.

Your position might hold merit within a utopian environment, but in this real world you would only be creating a victim of the State. If we do not introduce our children to our perception of truth then we essentially surrender them to the same fucks that now control this entire shithole system.

One of the primary causes of our species systemic failure is exactly the advocacy of 'go with the flow' bullshit. Life is hard by design and requires generational knowledge to be shared.

You are sending your children into battle.....Prepare them.

SerfDude's picture

Being a father is by definition being paternalistic and there is nothing wrong with it when we're talking about teenagers.

Giving them a list of books that they can read or not doesn't prevent them from making independent decisions; in fact it gives them one to make.

Lighten up Roman.

They can decide what to read on their own any time they want.


koaj's picture

Frederich Bastiat - The Law

Econ in One Lesson - hazlitt

Meltdown - tom woods

Jekyll Island - griffin

id be happy when my kids read and understood these works. (they are dr seuss age)

F. Bastiat's picture

"The Law" is fairly straightforward and easy to read, for sure.  Probably best to start young adults with it.

CheapBastard's picture

BTW, thanks for this great topic, Horseman....and Tylers.

CheapBastard's picture
The Secret World of Money




East to read and quite exciting.

JamesBond's picture

The Lorax

Brown Bear, Brown Bear

One Fish, Two Fish

The Hungry Caterpillar 

The Great Brain

Loyd and Boyd and the Slug Monster of Webster County

Little House on the Prairie 

A Wrinkle in Time

Lord of the Flies

Moby Dick: The Whale


In that order.  They are kids remember.  



and ps.  you don't get paid for it but you do avoid my wrath!  

Chas434's picture

You are a dickless wonder.   Turn off the tv until the books are read and comprehended.  Your child will be as big a wimp as you.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Please, do share with us the present ages of the children you have raised.

Chas434's picture

15,22,&26.   All straight A students through HS, atheletic scholarships to college on older 2.  Both have good jobs.   No free lunch of daddy's money for any.  You sound like you have been eating with a silver spoon.   How about yours, ?  Next you will be advocating paying your kids to work at MacDonalds.     

Chas434's picture

15,22,&26.   All straight A students through HS, atheletic scholarships to college on older 2.  Both have good jobs.   No free lunch of daddy's money for any.  You sound like you have been eating with a silver spoon.   How about yours, ?  Next you will be advocating paying your kids to work at MacDonalds.     

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Next you will be advocating paying your kids to work at MacDonalds.

Rather, I will be praying your kids don't end up working at MacDonalds, having low self-esteem from growing up in an abusive environment...

You are a dickless wonder. Turn off the tv until the books are read and comprehended. Your child will be as big a wimp as you.

If you attack me in such a venomous fashion for opening a discussion about getting teenagers to read, it is easy to imagine how you deal with your own children.

Lmo Mutton's picture

What about just slapping a book in their hand and telling them to read?
WTF is running this place anyway?

TheCanimal's picture

And what about a video list beginning with that motion picture masterpiece "Bride of Chucky"?

knukles's picture

Wm Shrier The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich

The Federalist Papers (source code for the Constitution, so to speak)

Totentänzerlied's picture

It is up to you as parents to decide what your kids can handle and when. Most of these books, in my opinion, are not suitable for children. Rather, this is a list for adults, presented in the hope that by reading these books they will therbey become better able to raise their children intellectually well-prepared for the official culture of lies, fraud, and deceipt in which we live. Most of these books pull exactly zero punches. If you like believing lies without even so much as entertaining the possibility of other possibilities, of if you are easily offended, disturbed, or would hate to think of your high school teachers as bald-faced liars, these books are not for you. It is a partial list, full of conflicting and contradicting ideas.

The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire - Gibbon

An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations - Smith

Anti-Federalist Papers - Various

The Prince - Machiavelli (NB: The author was writing as a historian, not a politician or demagogue. He wrote about what he saw, not what he wanted to see.)

Collected Works of Nietszche, Camus, Kierkegaard

Collected Works of Murray N. Rothbard

A People's History of The United States - Zinn (NB: Some left-wing bias. Not for those with any part of their identity bound up in the American mythos, which Zinn explodes.)

The Lucifer Principle - Howard Bloom

Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-Tung - Tse-Tung (Compare fantasy and propaganda with history and reality)

Capital - Marx (The best way to understand the mind of a Marxist)

Red Holocaust - Steven Rosefielde 

Black Mass: Apocalyptic Religion and the Death of Utopia - John N Gray

Various Works of Richard Pipes, Steven Rosefielde

Hitler's Willing Executioners; Worse Than War - Daniel Goldhagen

The Gulag Archipelago; One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich - Solzhenitsyn

Explaining Postmodernism - Stephen Hicks (Not an introduction to postmodernism in any sense, this book is about the trajectory the academic Left has taken since WWII)

The Black Book of Communism - Various (Essential)

The Black Book of Capitalism - Various (If you equate capitalism with free markets, this book will give you an aneurysm. Remember, this was written by French intellectuals, for whom Capitalism means something like "Keysenian state-capitalist economies under imperialist governments")

The Black Book of Colonialism -  Marc Ferro (Essential)

Mao's Great Famine - Frank Dikötter

The Great Terror: A Reassessment - Robert Conquest

A Week Like Any Other - Natalya Baranskaya (Essential for understanding and refuting neo-feminist myths about socialism/communism)

The Soviet Story (Film) - Edv?ns Šnore (About the connections between Nazism and Soviet Communism. Beware, its creators are without a doubt statist socialists and it has been reviewed favorably in mainstream media.)

Various Works of Antony C Sutton (For the Krazy Konspiracy Theorists who like to follow the money)

Wall Street and the Bolshevik Revolution (Online version)

Wall Street and the Rise of Hitler (Online version)

Wall Street and FDR

Reality Denial: Steven Pinker's Apologetics for Western-Imperial Volence - Edward S Herman and David Peterson (NB: Some may consider this a hit piece against Pinker. Well, yeah, fuck Steven Pinker. More importantly it is rife with left-wing counter-apologetics, but a good work of anti-imperialism nonetheless.)

An Underground History of American Education - John Taylor Gatto (Along with his other works, essential for any parent. If you are not hell-bent on homeschooling after reading this book, nothing can help you.)


Bonus for the Extraordinarily Patient and Ambitious, do not even think about reading this if watching 30 seconds of MSNBC makes you mad (FD: it makes me fucking furious):

The Black Book of Capitalism: A Farewell to the Market Economy - Robert Kurz (The subtitle is a contradiction and the man is an avowed Marxist)

PS: Noam Chomsky is not on this list because although his gems of insight are fantastic, they are few and far between, and surrounded by leftist bullshit on all sides. The man has raised intellectual hypocrisy to an art-form, and yet, he tells a lot truth.


dogbreath's picture


Good list.  I would add all of Solzhenitsyns writings.  He is argueably the greatest writer of the 20th century.  When you start to like the russians Bulgakov - The Master and Margurita is entertaining.

I also agree with your assesment of Chomsky and I have read most of his books. 

I would encourage reading history at a young age because for me at least it was entertaining.  There are lots of battles and weapons and evil charaters etc that are all the same elements of a good action movie or violent video game without the included dumbing down. 


Orwell   1984

Huxley    A Brave New World,  A Brave New World Revisited,  The Devils of Loudon

Thomkins    The Secrets of the Great Pyramid

Non Passaran's picture

What a sad loser!
May I suggest that the fine list be expanded with the additional and absolutely necessary material on Area 51, the Bermuda Triangle and shape-shifting?

ykaeric's picture

Add Seamus Haney's Beowulf, Edward Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Paul Johnson's Intellectuals (and most anything else he's written), J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and Victor Davis Hanson's The Soul of Battle (and anything else Hanson's written).  Wouldn't hurt to throw in Cormac McCarthy's The Road and Blood Meridian.  

Concur with other suggestions for Hayek's Road to Serfdom.  Human Action is a brutal read - definitely a sense of accomplishment for completing that work.  Love adding Douglas Adam's Hitchhiker's Trilogy for something light.  Atlas Shrugged is also a great suggestion.

Hook Line and Sphincter's picture

An excerpt from A Book to be Burned

“Our goal, Xavier, isn’t absorbed in choosing mustard or ketchup, bible thumping or fleshly, free lunch or paid, burro or elefante. All fake choices need to continue dancing the quebradita.”

I took a breath and expanded on his thought, explaining, “And power, well it doesn’t need tokens, but those with tokens desire power. We’ll watch as fairgoers clean vomit off the Octopus ride for the right to clean more! For those who don’t believe they have to kiss our asses, we’ll force them to use carnival currency, or they won’t get to mack down our fair vittles, or for that matter, eat at all.”

“For those who wish to play the coin toss game until they win big bucks, we’ll lend our tokens and make them pay us back tenfold to insure the fairgoers can never leave. We never stamp enough plastic coins to pay us back. Before they know it, they’re walking around with a trash scooper, sunburned, and missing teeth. Even the most intelligent fairgoers presented with evidence of the scam will deny it until they too are cleaning toilets!”

Mirror Chumba nodded with vigor.

Several of my reflections stared at me with horror as I continued.

“Once in awhile, we’ll allow the rides to fall into disrepair. When the patrons are mugging each other, we’ll create new tokens and buy their shoes and clothing for next to nothing. We’ll pound our fists on the floor laughing while their stuffed animal prizes fall apart. Locked into the fairgrounds, we’ll loot their houses and place saddles on their loved ones.

Our token system isn’t just timed to rip off the fairgoers work scrubbing outhouses with Pinesol, or to swindle their essential nature, but it’s also a safety valve for our ‘humanity’ to survive any up coming catastrophe, like a real flood.”

Fed up, Chumba’s voice interceded. “What is the true battle being waged, cabron? And why am I still stuck in this bathroom with you?”

“Don’t worry Chumba, it won’t be long now until we leave. But the answer’s really very simple; it’s all about burying the wisdom of their life force, and ensuring theappearance of a beginning and end of their essence. Damn straight… our goal is the elimination of others intent. If we can get them to believe and act as if their motivation is determined, then their Will belong to us.”

Bandit und Buster's picture

Overall a GREAT IDEA HH,  Never mind the co-dep issue, motivating youong people to READ SUBSTANCE and hopefully break away from the BOOB Tube, value = Priceless!

Thanks for the idea and starting this discussion among ZHers!

Joe moneybags's picture

To heck with the kids, those books would be good for me to read. (except, perhaps, of Adolf's camping book)

Sawgill's picture

All excellent choices and suggestions for me to read/reread. My suggestion not mentioned is The Power of Now, by Tolle. Helps one understand how much time we spend in the future and past in our heads and how to be more open to the present moment.

This is an excellent idea, but mis-directed. Reading comprehension among high schoolers is at an all time low.

May I suggest forming The Book Club Foundation (whatever...) and have it offer internships to recent college grads that cannot find work? Better chance to get the books read AND comprehended. Discussion of book could be rewarding for all involved (and a possible resume listing?)

Much better to give charitable donations where one is involved instead of gift to cancer society, habitat for humanity. Etc.

Joe moneybags's picture

There should be a few mathematics text books on that list.  No, I'm not joking.

New_Meat's picture

Joe, I was going to save these for the bottom, but since you bring it up ;-)

Mathematics for the Million-Hogben


Above has a vote for Chaos by Gleick; I'm with that.


How to Read a Book--Adler and other Adler on e.g. Aristotle


Calculus--George Thomas

Above had a couple of votes for "Economics in One Lesson"-Hazlett

http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/SearchResults?sts=t&tn=%22economics+in+o... {Amazon might be cheaper}

To Engineer is Human--Petroski


The Great Bridge--McCullough

Slide Rule--Nevil Shute

+++++++++++++and for the really arcane ++++++++++++++

Lindsay Books are retired, transferred their stock and masters to: Old Time Bookstore


- Ned


snblitz's picture


So far I am seeing pretty light selections. How about:

  • The Summa Theologica, St Thomas Aquinas
  • Commentaries on the laws of England, Blackstone
  • The Illiad and the Odyssey
  • Human Action, Ludwig von mIses
  • Socialism, Ludwig von mises
  • The wealth of nations, Locke
  • The annals of the world, ussher
  • The Bell Curve
  • From mutual aid to the welfare society
  • plato (all)
  • aristotle (all)
  • Two Treatises of Civil Government, Locke
  • The City of God, St. Augustine
  • The Theory of the Origin of the Species, Darwin
  • Basic Economics, Thomas Sowell
  • The Prince, Machiavelli
  • The Leviathan, Hobbes
  • Mein Kamph, AH

There is a 1953 Harvard recommended reading list, also sometimes called The Everyman's library, which is also a good place to start.

And no complaints that the reading is too hard.  I am not asking for original works read in Latin, Greek, and German.  I read most of that list and many more in their original language before I got out of high school.


A Lunatic's picture

Strange............I don't see 'Jimmy Has Two Mommies and a Friend Named Gretchen' or 'Guns are Bad and So is Whitey'.......An oversight perhaps?