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Cane the Bankers?
It's been a long time since I was last in Singapore. It was a financial powerhouse then - it's a monster today. Hong Kong and Tokyo were the big financial hubs back then, but in my experience, the best traders were always in Singapore. Beyond talent, Singapore had another element that made it a success - money - lots of it. None of that has changed. Singapore was then, and still is, rightfully proud of its reputation as a financial seat of power.
My recollection of Singapore is that it was a very orderly place. The sidewalks were crowded, but the people walked in well-organized lines. (I'm used to the chaos you might get on NYC's streets.) There was no jaywalking in Singapore. To step off the curb was a big fine, and there were police making sure there were no offenders. The streets were immaculate. Littering was not allowed. There are no gum marks on the sidewalks either. Chewing gum has been banned for 20 years. And of course, there is that "canning' thing that Singapore is famous for.
I bring this us as a background to a Reuters story that has my interest. There is a rate fixing scandal in Singapore that has been simmering for a few months, it is now blowing up.
The problems in Singapore are similar to the LIBOR fixing catastrophe in London. A few local bankers were setting the fixing rates for the settlement of FX contracts. There were communication between the banks that set the rates. There is evidence of collusion - the objective of the collusion was to make money at someone else's expense.
The contracts involved were for the currencies of Malaysia, Indonesia, and Vietnam. Therefore, this is a much smaller issue than the problems with LIBOR. In this case, I'm not sure that "size" is the issue. Singapore is very keen to maintain its image of a fair/legitimate capital market. The FX rate fixing is about as far from being "fair" as it could get.
I think the Monetary Authorities in Singapore are going to come down hard on this. Who knows? We might yet get to seen the canning of some bankers, it's a sure bet that some are going to jail on this one.
There are 14 banks who are involved with the rate setting. The list of names includes all of the usual suspects (when thinking of rate fixing). Reuters asked all of the banks for comment, none of them would say a word. But someone is going to look silly on this. Reuters has this very damning quote:
"Traders were talking to traders, saying: 'I need you to help me today, I need to fix low'"
I'm thinking (and laughing) about this. There have been times in the past when Singapore has caned someone for breaking the rules. Often, this resulted in criticism of the City-State in the western media. On balance, the public perception outside of the country condemns Singapore for its brutal treatment of prisoners.
But if Singapore were to arrest a few of those rate fixing bankers; cane them and send them to jail, a billion folks in the west would be quietly applauding. Go figure....
This is the sign for no gum
But what does this one ban? No mangoes?
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On a trip to Bangkok, my ex-wife (who's Chinese) bought a durian at the market. She ate about half there, and put the rest in a bag.
Then we went to the famous J. Thompson silk shop. As she was looking at various ties and other things, I noticed other people would wander over near her, stand there for a few seconds, look vaguely dismayed, and quickly move away. I was (silently) dying from laughter as this scene repeated over and over; my ex was completely oblivious to it.
Mars Attacks!
In Thailand, they still serve in stalls at the markets. You can build a slight tolerance to the stench. But there is nothing that can be done about the taste.
For those who don't know, durian smells like that big pile of soiled socks that's been sitting in the back of the locker room for the last year, where the aircon can't reach.
Despite that, I find the taste not so bad. It's a little rich, and has an unusual texture for a fruit (somewhere between a banana and a mango), but when in season, and freshly cut, it's okay. For the tropicals I'd choose mangosteen first, but it's eatable. I'd take a plate of it---and even endure an airplane ride with it nearby---well before I'd do the same with Japanese natto. Now there's an aroma!
Is it the same as Jackfruit in India ?
No, much different. Jack fruit actually tastes good.
'The reason the dodgy traders all went to Singpaore is because Singapore created a durian regulatory environment designed to entice them. '
ALL EXCEPT for MR. Jimmy. Right???????? Wonder how Vietman likes having their tea controlled by a capitalist in Singapore. Who needs NYC, when Singapore gives it's wealth fund to you...with kisses!
Durian, you say.
A smelly Asian fruit that can bring down a plane. Interesting.
Also interesting is that although banned, it is still available off in the woods. Is the taste worth the smell?
The stench is pretty bad, but if you hold your nose, it's actually pretty tasty. You can buy them here in the states.
More facts than one would ever want to know about this fruit, with a pic. Funny, the author compares it to a "Creamsicle".
It's also dangerous as it falls out of the tree and the spikes kill people.
http://thaifood.about.com/od/howtopreparethaifruit/ss/durianstepbystep.htm
It's just banned in public places. And it is a good thing I might add. It literally smells like human vomit. Someone sliped me a durian cookie once, which I immediately spit out.
Yes. Hold your nose and the taste is glorious. I ate a lot of it in Jakarta.
No, no a thousand times no. Smells like a backed up sewer, consistency of an ultra soft cheese. Tastes like something that is spoiled. Humans are not meant to endure unpleasent smell, taste, and feel when putting anything in their mouth.
I'm guessing that if grow-ops included at least one durian under the 1000 watters half their problems would be solved.
Better bring a gas mask, dude.
And a haz-mat suit.
And a 55-gallon drum of mouthwash.
Ian Durian the Blockheads
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WGVgfjnLqc
ROR!!
DURIAN!
After having read of it for literally decades, and being utterly intrigued by the love/hate relationship so many apparently have with this fruit (and being a great aficionado of all fruits myself), I FINALLY got the chance to taste it a few years ago, as frozen segments of the pure pulp, imported from Thailand. In retrospect, the fact that it was triple vacuum-sealed should have been a dead giveaway of the experience to come. I thawed one of the individual sealed bags, then cut it open --- and was assaulted by perhaps the most nauseating stench that I have EVER encountered! Imagine a 100 pound wheel of grossly overripe Stilton cheese, festooned with rotting onions, perched on a pile of decomposing corpses that have been repeatedly sprayed by angry skunks, and you might get 1/100 of the sensory impact of cutting into and eating a durian. (And this from a guy who has worked in an environmental chemistry lab for years!) The smell was so tremendously, monstrously, outrageously intense and vile that I immediately had to take the foul thing outside, even though it was the dead of winter. Having gone that far with it, I hesitantly sliced off a thin sliver of the stuff, and despite all my better instincts, gave it a taste, having read that the smell is far worse than the flavor once it is being consumed. And the verdict? It tastes JUST AS FUCKING BAD as it smells! I even gave it another try about an hour later (having left the stinking mass outside), but it was just as satanically foul --- I ended up spitting out both pieces immediately and without the least bit of shame.
OK, you might say, but that was frozen durian --- what about fresh? Well, my chance came two years ago while I was on the Big Island of Hawaii, at the Hilo farmer's market, when a vaguely familiar, overpowering, pervasive, revolting stench assaulted me. And sure enough, down one aisle, there was a vendor with a table piled high with the spikey, otherwordly fetid fruits. He was offering small samples to (rightfully) skeptical customers and passers-by, so I decided to give Satan's dungfruit one more chance. JUST AS FUCKING BAD AS THE FIRST TIME!!!
Now, I am probably the least picky eating that anyone will ever meet, and will gladly eat things that many people despise, and will try things that almost NOBODY else around me will sample, but durian is so far beyond the pale in terms of aroma and flavor that I am unhestitatingly willing to declare that it will NEVER pass my lips again! Anyone who claims to like this abomination of a fruit simply has to be an alien from another planet, as NO member of my species could POSSIBLY enjoy the distilled quintessence of foulness and pure organoleptic evil that is durian.
Tighten it up a little bit around the edges, and you can be to this fruit what Robert Burns was to the haggis, sort of.
"Ode to the Durian"
akak, with justification both reasonable and sound, said:
The account of your ordeals left me with a few more grey hairs. Fortunately, pomelos are in season for the north 'american' market.
This deserves to be reprinted in the Asian papers.
I just inserted it under one of me Durian images. I think I'll send them to the South China Morning Post under the caption, a gweilo's durian moment.
WilliamBanzai, please let me know if you happen to see my little exposition on durian ever get published --- I would be very interested to read the responses to it! (Although I suspect that any serious publication would end up doing a bit of editing on some of my word choices).
williambanzai7 said:
That is a fiendishly clever plan. Bonus points for incorporating 'gweilo' into the caption.
You absolutely must post the URL if they publish it. The colorful and visceral description* of akak's scientific evaluation of the effects of Durio zibethinus on gweilo olfaction and gustation is certain to elicit some rare and treasured comments.
*is it any wonder that of all human senses, olfactory system neurons are the only ones to bypass the thalamus and connect directly to the forebrain?
Sharing that experience alone is worth a thumbs up for you. Thanks!
Durian doesn't just assault you once when you eat it (or someone else eats it, that say... *shudder* you live with)... no no no, it's an assualt when you eat it, and assult when your body sweats out the toxins the next day... and it should go without saying the crimes against humanity that it smells like when it's finally slithered itself through your system to etch the ceramic of the bowl on it's way out.
Evil evil stuff...
Must be something that's Asian-specific genetic receptors that makes it highly pleasurable to eat but has a nasty side effect (other than it's smell) of turning the locals into driving retards, the men into fagbagsters and the women into precious-princess-biatches. /shrug.
Takes all kinds to make up a world.
It's the banksters favorite fruit!
And here I thought a male prostitute would be a banker's favorite fruit.
Durian. Blech. The only place I saw in it Singapore is over by Chinatown.
Nuh uh! It's ice cream cone on a bun!
Durian.... Had an ex-girlfriend that loved the stuff... I won't eat anything that smells that rancid. Unbelievably powerful smell.
Kinda makes the advice "eat shit" sound like a message of good will.
Forget the caning. I vastly prefer what China and Iran do to their corrupt bankers.
I would like to do as in the Eagles Song "Take it Easy" and stone the bankers. Just not the way the Eagles mean.
Not only does Singapore cane offenders, it's a martial arts expert delivering 50 or more strikes which literally tears your ass to shreds.
Yeah. Caning the bankers would work for me.
Actually, it's an automatic machine, calibrated to deliver a very specific ammount of force. That ammount is just enough below the shock threshold that you don't die.
The worst part is not the caning though... it's that they give you like six strokes, but you can't do it all at once... you'd die of shock, your heart would give out.
So they are "nice," they spread it out over like 6 months, and you have to walk your ass to the building, five more times, knowing what's coming. I don't think it's the caning that scares people, it's knowing the state their mind would be for those 6 intervening months, cause they add more lashes and jail you if you don't show up yourself.
I think it _is_ time that Singapore led the way to show that financial corruption is no different that graft and extorsion, it undermines the entire system of trust and citizens end up loosing out eventually (higher costs = less food or no home, or whatever), so it's NOT a "victemless crime."
I say "bring it."
Caning would be OK..
but best carried out with a tire iron or a sand wedge.
.
...or a Hot Wheels® track.