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MeeT THe NeW $100 DoLLaR BaNKNoTe

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NEW 100 DOLLAR BILL

 

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Thu, 04/25/2013 - 13:48 | 3498746 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

when the highest paid Google exec earns more in a " fortnight " than the average worker in us/uk working for " 40 years " and the alarm bells dont ring, i'd say we are one and all trully fucked.
Suffice to say the DownSyndrome twins of 10/11 believe that in their jobless economy the £58 in weekly living benefits are a tad generous.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 13:44 | 3498723 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

Keynes mugshot should be somewhere on that bill.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 13:24 | 3498604 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Jamies balls have been slamming against BBs chin for a good 15 minutes. Dont ever shave that beard B those bristles act like accupuncture on the twins, its like double penetration. Jamie lets go and Benny swallows and licks his lips. Pulling up his zip Jamie says, Ben your old school, those fuckers at treasury spit.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:54 | 3498401 MrVincent
MrVincent's picture

When I saw that "Gold is not money" on there, I could not stop laughing. Brilliant!

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:42 | 3498342 ali-ali-al-qomfri
ali-ali-al-qomfri's picture

i believe technically the dollar, since 1913 has de-valued to about $.03 so this replaces the penny.

 

 

Thx ZH/WB7

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:39 | 3498325 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

A befitting image to grace the new note would be Jamie Dimons huge balls resting on Ben B's lips.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:26 | 3498248 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

It's been documented that 1 in 4 banknotes have traces of cocaine.
These new notes retain more of the powder by design. Obama should immediately set up another task force to collect the excess and get it ready for redistribution via Hsbc laundry facillity. Might prove austerity does work in certain instances.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:10 | 3498149 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Let's paper over the cracks for another decade and see if they'll bite!
Feel a song coming on WB7 circa 1970-80 from my most favourite american mormon female singer and very apt ( goes like this and don't be too shy to hum along folks )

" paper roses, paper roses. . . .
. . . .but they're only imitations. . .
of those HSBC Shorts of Gold."

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 11:48 | 3498031 optimator
optimator's picture

Will they print on only one side to save ink.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:21 | 3498212 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

Yes, and make the other side soft so you can use it for toilet paper when it becomes worthless.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 11:35 | 3497965 Che Guevara is Dead
Che Guevara is Dead's picture

The more boring the currency, the more valuable it is - which means the Dollar is going to look like a Jackson Pollack painting by the time The Bernanke gets through with it.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:55 | 3497708 GoldRetriever
GoldRetriever's picture

Ben and circuses.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:56 | 3497703 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

But the real question should be - is it softer than Charmin?

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:38 | 3498312 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

I don't know but both are for shit.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:36 | 3497560 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

i have this vision of gold in arizona and utah, as currency, and the banks placing a board (out in the street right next to the temperature that day) with the current exchange rate between gold dollars and FRNs, because there will be a premium.

how many paper dollars for a gold dollar? one and a half. damn that's steep, but I'll take it...

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:16 | 3497441 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

That was fuckin' funny as hell WB.

Sad, but funny.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:28 | 3497513 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

That's the clown thing, sad or scary, but funny.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:41 | 3497605 fourchan
fourchan's picture

100 joo bux now with .000000000000000009 more jew.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:08 | 3497378 tongue.stan
tongue.stan's picture

"A currency for clowns..."

from a Confederacy of Dunces...

at the Marriner Eccles weenie wagon.

 

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:39 | 3497181 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I thought the new $100 bill was going to be a $200 bill.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:20 | 3498213 GoldForCash
GoldForCash's picture

Nope a 50 or a 20 but not lower than a 10 or a 5....guaranteed no lower than a 1

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:43 | 3497600 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

Its a two for one sale, you just pull them apart. Of course the notional money stored in your bank account as bytes on a hard drive, was halved last night. Quit complaining, everyone was except a few Texas, er, Russian gangsters who got emails from Bernanke and converted to the new cash early. We had to reflate the system, it was the only way. JPYUSD is off the charts, Dollar carry trade, bitchez. Look at all those manfacturing jobs coming home to Papa. Maybe Obama will run a third time.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 08:57 | 3496966 machineh
machineh's picture

I should've known that Banzai7's artistic sensibilities would be as offended as mine were by the incoherent dog's breakfast of the new C-note.

Its severe asymmetry, yawning bald patches, clashing colors, and crude violet security strip accurately reflect the degenerating values of our psychotic overlords.

Not content with wrecking the constitution, they insist on vandalizing the aesthetics of everyday life.

Now the currency carried by luckless workers will be festooned with the same oversaturated colors and mindless slogans as the cheap Walmart T-shirts that clothe their chests.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 08:49 | 3496933 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

It's the $100 Euro and it only took them a full decade to design it.  I wonder how much that  "research" cost the taxpayer?  Watch the video from the Fed in this link for further disbelief.

North Korea probably already has warehouses full of these new notes.

 

http://www.newmoney.gov/newmoney/default.aspx

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:46 | 3497227 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

But Mani ... these guys have PhDs, fer Google's sake! That makes them experts on arcane matters we Muppets have never even thought of like, er ... like how to fool the Muppets into paying you absolutely obscene oodles and oodles of money (sic) for doing all sorts of crazy shit that should never, EVER, on Google's green Earth have even been attempted in the first place.

Getting paid six or seven figures for "solving" the very problem you and your minions created in the first place. You've gotta kind of admire the monumental, shit-eating audacity of that sort of scam.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:10 | 3497404 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

LC, fair point, but I think that "shit-spewing audacity" would be a better term to describe.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 08:47 | 3496921 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

The only thing this bill is missing is the cardboard tube to wrap it around.....

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 08:38 | 3496889 cgnbob
cgnbob's picture

Since most of the Fed paper printed in recent years resembles something one would find in a certain board game, the truly appropriate image should be that of Mr. Bill. Ooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 08:29 | 3496873 Sixdeuce062
Sixdeuce062's picture

i hate to picky especially when the work you do is fantastic but if its a new bill wouldnt have that lewsers name instead of little timmy other than that love the art work truth aways makes the best art

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:13 | 3497031 Tebow
Tebow's picture

And the year says 2009. What Crap! ;)

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:14 | 3497037 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

The reason is they were delayed by two years in putting this into production, for Google only knows what reason.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:36 | 3498037 Nation of Imbeciles
Nation of Imbeciles's picture

The bills were delayed from release in late 2010 due to a 'creasing problem' in the paper. (How do you print $110 Billion in new notes without noticing this?? It sounds more like a cover story.)  At the time, I surmised that the FED was holding off on the release of the bills as a PLAN B possibility of a bank holiday and currency revaluation. (i.e., existing $100 bills worth $75 and new ones worth $100) However, since then the FED has had no problems from the veggie electorate in ramping up debt monetization so on that end it's basically "Mission Complete."

The Fed Has a $110 Billion Problem with New Benjamins

http://www.cnbc.com/id/40521684

 

 

 

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:20 | 3497056 Tebow
Tebow's picture

Real amature shit Banzai. JK! keep em coming, your the reason I come to ZH.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:50 | 3497253 Liquid Courage
Liquid Courage's picture

"keep em coming"

 

Wasn't that Heidi Fleiss's motto?

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:55 | 3497287 Tebow
Tebow's picture

Don't know but my motto is "there is a party in Liquid Courage's mouth and everybody is cumming!"

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:25 | 3497090 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

ARE YOU EXPERIENCED?

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 13:51 | 3498758 machineh
machineh's picture

Now that is a seriously beautiful banknote.

Who says paper money can't rock the world?

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:50 | 3498385 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Jimi notes are dope.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 11:13 | 3497834 monad
monad's picture

The Sands of Time 4 way banknote blotter. Unlike fiat it has tangible value and therefore qualifies as coinage. A favorite in Texas and California.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 10:30 | 3497532 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

"Move over Rover, and Let Jimmy Take Over.." lyric from ?Foxy Lady?

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 17:07 | 3499661 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Fire

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:52 | 3497263 Tebow
Tebow's picture

If I'm not mistaken, the Hendrix's are worth $174.00 FRN.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:27 | 3497099 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Sweet

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 08:35 | 3496877 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

That is the note they realeased and I don't feel like screwing around with the "Specimen" watermark for an hour to get Lewser's signature in there properly.

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:43 | 3497198 Iconoclast
Iconoclast's picture

Do we do ctrl+Prt and have a try with it, hey, why not start your own Bitcoin. We all prt, then use it to exchange goods...

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 08:56 | 3496958 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

Great work Bill!

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 09:13 | 3497033 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Tnx ;-)

I know what I would have to do to change that signature, it involves removing the watermark in its entirety and reconstructing the gradient background. Thats what counterfeiters do for a living. ;-)

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 12:38 | 3498298 Nation of Imbeciles
Nation of Imbeciles's picture

Jack Lew's signature would be real fitting for the joke environment we are witnessing right now! Here is a copy of his official as emblazoned across the internet the past few months:

 

http://cdn.videos.bloomberg.com/1oYmg5ODqtL2dLdCgx_wM7TsWVl41h4P/3Gduepif0T1UGY8H4yMDoxOm1qO387Kn

Thu, 04/25/2013 - 11:01 | 3497755 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

was checking out of the super and casually mentioned to the girl holding my money up to the light, that she better be sure it was the right president, because the clever counterfeiters were bleaching small bills and printing over them, so the face is grant but the watermark is lincoln. (generals are worth more than presidents, and guys who fly kites) she looked at me incredulously. which is why i always check the money they give me..

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