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Britain Finds Excuse to Stay in EU
Imagine the scenario : Cameron makes a promise to tell the EU to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine and then probably yell at the top of his voice: “I want my money back” (sorry David, that one’s already been said, a long time ago now…dead and buried, in fact). Now his back is up against the wall, because he’s told the people (read: the British taxpayers), who are now happy because for once they are being listened to that they don’t want to pay for somebody else’s mistakes half way across that thing they call the ‘Continent’ (the thingy that is apparently someone said cut off and isolated from Britain when the fog descends on the English Channel, and not the other way round). Now, his back is against the wall. Now, he doesn’t know what the heck he is going to do to get himself out of the pickle on he got himself into. So, the only solution is to phone Barack. Imagine the conversation.
Cameron: Hi Barack, I’m up it without a paddle right now and need us to come up with something.
Barack: Errrhhhmm…just lie Dave…tell ‘em you can’t remember!
Cameron: [silence]…
Barack: errrhm, I know, let’s tell them that if you leave Europe, I’ll pull the plugs on you guys!
Cameron: …and nuke us Barack?
Barack: Errrrhm, Dave, not a good idea. Just the first part and it’ll work, believe me.
And, it did work! The British taxpayer is now frightened, alone, cut off from the Continent and cut off from the US. Oh! My Lord! Heaven forbid, they might actually have to start being nice to the Commonwealth countries again. Thankfully, Obama and Cameron saved them from that. Well, alright, it was a dream (nightmare-case scenario?) that might have just come true.
David Cameron announced yesterday that if Britain leaves the EU and slams the door, then the country will lose out on billions in investment that will mean money in every European’s pocket. But, that fake conversation should have gone one step further. Now, Britain, will no longer be the bad, bad boy of Europe, that is stamping its little size 2 shoe in the playground, but it will become the guy that everybody wants to grow up and go out with. Barack just said “If David isn’t there, I’m not coming to your party, even if you pay me!”. Of course, we believe him. Of course, we do! I promise you. Where else would he go? Is he coming to Europe with that billion-dollar-a-year deal just for the benefit of the EU? Is he saving us, really, just because he likes us? Wow! That’s magnanimous, Barack. That’s the billion-dollar man. Super-Barack. And, the EU can’t fail to end up slapping the Brits on the back because they are the ones that brought the deal home!
So, let’s get this straight, if Britain pulls out, the US pulls the pulls the plug and goes elsewhere with a deal worth $15 billion. Britain will be told to go and play elsewhere in the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership.
Of course, the talk has gone too far. The priggish, sulky attitude of the dull and boring husband that has told his wife “I don’t love you anymore (in fact, honey, I never did), and I’m leaving you”. It just doesn’t wash Mr. Cameron. We don’t believe even you can imagine for one moment that leaving Europe would be a good thing. There may be some bad points about Europe, but that’s the whole point of democracy, isn’t it? Paying for someone else’s mistakes at times, just in case it becomes my mistake they have to pay for!
Britain, if they left, would lose the possibility of a 500-million person market at their feet (literally). They would lose waving of the import tax of 55% to reach that market. Prices would increase by 12%. The 1.7 million British expats living outside of Britain would have to find ‘alternative arrangements’ (yes, they are British despite the fact that the British government revoked long ago their right to vote in the UK! Democracy! Humbug! If you live outside of the UK for more than 15 years, you lose the right to vote!). The 2.3 million EU-citizens living in Britain would have to do the same. Don’t they play an essential role in the economy of the UK (and not just ‘sponge’, as some might believe)? Wouldn’t Britain have to re-negotiate and go it alone in deals with the European Free-Trade Association (EFTA)? The British would certainly have less clout in the world in terms of defense, wouldn’t they? Well, people would laugh wouldn’t they (!)? Britain certainly wouldn’t have any say as to what was being voted in Brussels at all. Isn’t it better to be there to see what’s going on?
Britain would be $13 billion better off (the money that it has been estimated as transferring for agriculture and to prop up the failing PIGS that are wallowing it muck). But, it’s the businesses that would lose out in the long run in the country as trade would become bureaucratic (they’d have to fill in tons of paperwork) and it will be long and tedious. Europe may not even want to trade with Britain. “If you don’t love me, I don’t love you either”!
But, thankfully, whatever happened on the phone or when Cameron was in Washington. He and Obama cooked up a good one that means that nobody loses face. But, do we really believe it? If we do, maybe we should be asking ourselves why they never thought that far ahead before they blurted out that they were chucking it all in and doing a runner in the first place. It would have saved us all from having to sit through boring programs on whether we should be in or out, or only half way in and half-way out. Let’s all do the hokey-cokey, anyhow! We’re all friends now!
Originally posted on http://www.tothetick.com/britain-finds-excuse-to-stay-in-eu
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Tyler, I think you are going to have to check these posts more carefully as he appears to be more swivel than pivot.
The British taxpayer is not frightened of either the unelected Socialist jugernaut that is the European Council and the ECB or the Orwellian Dictator Triumvirate of the Fed, Treasury and White House.
The British taxpayer knows we are not going to let the British government use our assets and savings to bail the Eurozone disaster and if we adopt a relationship like Switzerland to the EU so be it.
As for the USA, Obama is clearly not a friend to Britain at all, just look at the refusal to respect Falkland Islanders right to self determination and many other slights.
The British always were and are right now prepared to plough our own furrow and not bow down to self serving bullies like Obama and the EC,
So Pivitfarm - you need to get out more
Seriously? "unelected Socialist juggernaut that is the European Council"?
UK's Prime Minister David Cameron is there. Is he socialist? Like Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor?
Hollande, President of the the Fifth French Republic is also part of the EU Council. Wasn't he directly elected?
Just incredible how deep this propaganda has creeped in
What a load of BS. Britain BUYS more from Europe than it sells to Europe. I am pretty sure that Mercedes and BMW would not want to lose the Brits so no the English will not lose their access to Europe. That is just stupid. Pivot Farm is probably Jose Barroso's zero hedge name.
While Prince Charles is visiting relatives in Germany.
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/video/prince-charles-visits-germany-024351867.html
european nobility is not that easily to fit in national terms - as the great forefathers like Charlemain. A French? A German? Karl der Grosse?
Of course a Franc, one germanic tribe similar to the Lombard one, so both
HRH Charles of Wales descends from Empress Victoria, Queen of the UK and of the House of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha... like most of the royalty
european nobility is something like a meta-tribe - bred by politics, mostly
Is excuse the new word for submitting to blackmail or extortion?
What with Marc to Market and now this guy, I am wondering if ZH has been hacked.
Cut it out Leo
What a load of first rate bollocks that was then.
Three minutes of my life I cant get back, makes you wonder if some of these guest posters do any fucking research, what a heap of fucking shit. Ask an Englisher next time sunshine.
If you think this article is a "heap of fucking shit" don't read the "Five Questions Facing the Market" by Marc to Market.
It is 10 heaps of fucking shit!
I'll never read anything by that shit head again.
We in the UK are prepared to take our chances outside of the madness that is the EU.
This has to be the biggest load of bull i have read here on ZH for a while
So the Germans will stop selling us their cars out of spite, the french will stop welcoming holiday makers from the uk out of spite, Italian farmers will stop selling their produce to uk shop and business out of spite.
Really, come on and stop being a dick
It's a fucking political article! What else could you possibly expect?
There's no such thing as an ex-communist:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAHv3UnXvmM
Barosso or Obama?
Trade between nations is spontaneous. Fearing lost trade with the EU is simply pathetic, shows the mentality of slaves.
Bullshit propaganda.
Fuck the EU, and all who would sail with her
And all who would SINK with her...............?
I have just wasted 3 min of my life reading this crap......
Please Tyler, you can do better than reprinting this load of malarky.
Clickbait
And if you're not on board with Cameron's back-paddling, you're a racist!
Or a homophobe........
good one :D
This article is total crap. It reminds me why I joined UKIP and why we are trouncing the established parties
Soooo, Cameron makes an announcement. That we know. The rest of this article is total conjecture. Thanks. Got it.
A truly mind numbing and idiotic article. As if the EU, that totally undemocratic institution where key laws are made by secret committess behind close doors by bureaucrats and lobbyists, who is buckling under the weight of it's USSR like contradictions and member states completely unsustainable debt levels can afford to cut off it's nose to spite its face by making it difficult if not impossible to trade with one of its richests (albeit also with unsustainable levels of debts) neighbors?!?
What's amazes me is the idiocy of this line of thinking across the continent that is the following: "The country's insolvent, the bank's are insolvent, neither myself nor anyone in our family can find a job, we down to our last euro and don't have enough to eat, BUT AT LEAST WE'RE STILL PART OF THE EURO!?!?!"
Isn't collectivism great?
God send the Queen and the rest of the royal spongers on a one way ticket to Mars.......plus the politians and bankers, and just for good measure big business leaders too.
That sounds expensive. I've a better idea - put them in the return pod from the movie Moon; assure them they are on the way to Mars...then fire it up.
god save the queen
no time to save our legacy parasites, it's every man, or queen, for himself
This Continent does not need a "Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership", thank you very much, Mr Obama, but no, thanks
particularly if it's "as advantageous as the other ones". Barroso can huff and puff as much as he wants, on this
And if the Brits want to leave: goodbye, and keep the fish
at least this would end this idiotic fight between UK conservatives, commonwealth loyalists and Old Imperialists that is sapping the British mind
though I should say the Southern English mind, then Scotland and other parts are way more willing to... gasp... talk with continentals about common solutions
Thanks, we will keep the fish. Common solutions? I guess... if peace, prosperity and solvency are problems then the EU is a common solution.
I'm Scottish too and I'm sure that an "independent" Scotland will provide more bureaucrats and welfare dependants to your project, so you can figure some common solutions with those guys, I'm outta here.
-sigh- the way the Scottish gov finds ways to squander tax-money would give me some reason to agree with you. but fact is that South England is currently not talking much to us continentals, nor with North England, Wales and Scotland. in the first case language might be a problem, but be honest and tell me if Scotland, for example, is really that happy with a Nigel Farage, for example
you are having a little "civil war" about europe - and we on the continent are just watching amazed
----
btw, I made a mistake: to make the cultural reference I originally wanted, I'd have to write "so long, and keep the fish"
I thought the article was describing Nigel when it said:
"Now, Britain, will no longer be the bad, bad boy of Europe, that is stamping its little size 2 shoe in the playground, but it will become the guy that everybody wants to grow up and go out with."
This Article is all total BS. The UK would be better offf out of the EU but with a Free Trade Agreement just like Switzerland. And if you think the EU would say no to that remember that The UK runs a very substantial trade defecit with the rest of Europe so by not agreeing to such a deal, the Germans in particular would be shooting themselves in the foot. The UK would then be able to forge its own trade Agreements with The Commonwealth, The US, China etc., which it is prevented from doing at the moment because of the Customs Union which is The EU. And the UK does know a thing or two about International trade.
The British people want to maintain their sovereignty and, in fact, only ever agreed to a free trade area NOT a political union, which has been forged by politicians without reference to the people. Now, The UK is subject to all the idiotic regulations made by unelected bureaucrats in Brussels and the nonesensical rulings of the European Court of Human Rights, which means we can no longer export terrorists because they might not be able to keep their teddy bear in their home countries. The UK would also save about GBP 55 BILLION per year in contributions essentially to subsidise French farmers and overpay a useless and corrupt bureaucracy in Brussels.
In other words, Nigel Farage is RIGHT and he is gaining in popularity all the time as Cameron and his party tear themselves apart over the same issue. And if "The City of London" loses out as a result, I would say bring ot on. Although the author of this clearly has vested interests in The City and might disagree.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAebKVq1RGE
Obama should stay out of the UK's business. Come on Nigel Farage and the English. Tell Obama and Lib,Lab,Con plus the EUSSR to go F themselves.
philipat, you frankly give me the impression that you are replying to my bad, bad EUR sign instead of reading what I'm writing. it's not us continentals keeping the UK in the EU, it's Cameron not giving a referendum, remember?
I am warning since last March here in ZH that in June 2013 we'll get the Pro-Atlantic-Trade-Pact News Barrage
It's all about this Trade Deal. They*, the Globalist Free Trade Imperium MegaCorps or however you want to call them just want this Deal, and They* (Lord Lawson, the Barclay Brothers of the Telegraph, the City of London Corporation Fellow Nigel Farage, and of course The Old Man Himself Rupert Murdoch with his media empire) could not care less about your Little England (i.e. that part that is not the Square Mile) sensibilities and are up to exploit your Commonwealth Loyalties to the max (as your reply attests, in your case they have already bagged you)
If this Trade Deal goes through the way They* dream of, your hated EU has exactly six years of life: the lenght of it's current budget. And then, it can be scrapped, then anything that has to do with european trade will be done through money deals in Washington's K Street. Great Improvement to Brussels, eh?/s
The UK staying or leaving is utterly irrelevant, to Them, except for propaganda reasons... to get the Trade Deal through, to give Google et al free way, to unleash GMO agrobiz on europe, etc. etc.
If this Trade Deal goes through perfectly, your hated City of London Corporation has won, and hyperhypothecation can be flanked by new financial innovation paradigms wonderfully designed to squeeze the max out of Little Englishmen, Little Continentals and Little Americans
If this Trade Deal and it's sibling the Asian one go through in the very best way They* dream of, all this chattering about One Planetary Government is reality, and we all truly live in the Ultimate NWO, with the very best politics money can buy (yes, K-Street)
Expect much moar June 2013 propaganda, (this puny article is just a pitiful entry) all in the themes of: "EU strangles the UK with idiotic regulation" - "Trade Deal will raise everybody's paycheck by 5%" - of course with photos of Obama, Cameron & Barroso smiling together, perhaps even giving this deal a double twist: the UK out of the EU but in the Great Transatlantic Trade Zone of NAFTA/UK/Continent, to the Great Profit of The Great MegaCorps and MegaBanks, and screw the small farmer, the small businessman and every little thing that the EU Trade Zone which you disparage so much somehow still protects from The Great Empire of The Truly Transnational MegaCorps
They would have to look for new export markets for Marmite.
Europe's consumer markets are tanking, Africa and Asia's growing healthily ...it should be in Marmites biz plan to seek growth markets, not that Cameron or the British Govt has anything to do with the trade winds
politicians are the deluded fantasists of economics, King Canute had more control of the tide
It's all Cameron's fault until it became Obama's fault until it got blamed on Bush when it was really Nixon who did it and cleaned up after Kennedy who got shot by some guy they found in a movie theater.
"Barack just said “If David isn’t there, I’m not coming to your party, even if you pay me!”. Of course, we believe him. Of course, we do! I promise you. Where else would he go?"
And if you believe the lying narcisistic piece of shit illegal immigrant the good EBT collectors of America just elected president than you deserve what's coming to you. But ready or not it's coming good and hard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XU_q77z0PcQ&t=3470s
(spoiler: answer to questions from the so-called "zero hedge")
people vastly underestimate what the euro means for the euro area.
they vastly underestimate the amount of political capital that has been invested in the euro.
it is not like a sliding door.
it is a very important thing.
no plan B.
hugs,
merrio
ps -- no plan B