Where’s Benjamin?

Pivotfarm's picture

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The Federal Reserve has had $1.2 million swiped from a flight somewhere between Switzerland, the land of secret banking, and New York City. Now, in the ranking of thefts that have taken place in history, this one seems like it is rather untimely! Has anybody seen Ben Bernanke lately? What’s even better is that the bills were $100 denominations. Call it what you will, it’s a Benjamin, isn’t it! Benjamin Franklin, of course!

The smackers were swiped from somewhere and the FBI is now investigating. They should probably have no trouble in finding the culprit. In fact, judging but what we know about the National Security Agency and Edward Snowden now, they probably could have found the guilty party even before the dirty deed had been done. Even before the guy had thought of doing the dirty deed, as a matter of fact!

Benjamin: $100

Benjamin: $100

You can just imagine some guy running off with the swag bag thinking that he has got his own back on the Federal Reserve. Apparently the $100-bills were winging their way to New York City from a bank in Zurich. They were to be delivered to the Federal Reserve and exchanged for new $100 bills (probably hot off the printing presses of QE). Then, they were going to be sent to a bank somewhere either in New Jersey or in New York. The bank isn’t known for the moment and the Federal Reserve declined to comment. Best answer really. When the going gets tough, keep schtum. My lips are sealed. Opening your mouth just gets you into more trouble, these days, anyhow.

Swiss-International-Air-Lines Flight 17 arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport on Saturday in the afternoon. So, somebody has been living the good life since Saturday night, then! Has that guy sitting across the office to you not been in since Saturday?

It’s unknown at the present time if the shipment went missing in Zurich or in New York. The FBI should blame the Swiss though as they are responsible for everything that is to do with money-trouble, aren’t they? But, according to airport authorities the surveillance at Zurich airport is more stringent than at JFK. So, we shall just have to wait on the investigation report from the FBI.

Somebody will be spending the spondoolies this week as fast as if it were going out of fashion. But, hold on for a minute. The Dollar is going out of fashion, isn’t it? We’ve had too much of it lately, and we know how the saying goes: ‘too much of a good thing…”. It certainly can do a great deal of harm, can’t it?

There have been some other great capers in time. Back in 1990 in Los Angeles, there was the rather unknown case of the Great Manhole Robbery. The Manhole Men went round downtown LA swiping the manhole covers from the roads. They ended up stealing 300 of the things and sold them on to scrap-metal dealers for $6 apiece. Had they had any brains they would have got just about thirty times that much money if they had collected soda cans. Admitted, it would have taken longer to get the same weight. Maybe the same could be said for the person that knocked off the $1.2 million on that flight. Didn’t he know he could have got thirty times as much if he had collected soda cans instead of those $100-bills? Everybody knows that the Dollar is only good for one thing, now.

What would you do with a $100-bill?

Originally Posted:  Where's Benjamin?

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Atlantis Consigliore's picture

What did I say, what did i tell you, no flash, no mink coats, no pink cadillacs you mopes;

what are ya, a duffus?   I dont care, no flash....you mope.

here Ben, heres $ 200,000 grand, go to Vegas, enjoy the little boys and girls. 

Downtoolong's picture

Call it what you will, it’s a Benjamin, isn’t it! Benjamin Franklin, of course!

That’s an important distinction, because, our modern Ben isn’t going to settle for having his picture on a lousy C-note. His goal is to be featured on the $10,000 bill, which he knows we’ll all be using soon enough to do our weekly grocery shopping with.

PT's picture

Yeah, I can see it now.  Loaf of bread, ten grand.  And the biggest note dispensed by the ATM will still be a fifty.  And the max. daily withdrawal from the local branch will still be 3 grand.  And that will be the end of cash.

francis_sawyer's picture

It was a payoff to the Swiss 'Luciferian Anti-Defamation League' to get 'em off Tylers jock...

Downtoolong's picture

Agreed. Call it the Fed now hushing up about their own hush money.

RaceToTheBottom's picture

They were old bills anyway.  Now, if they were those shiny new bills

vegan's picture

Somewhere in NY or NJ, a TSA inspector called out sick...

Clowns on Acid's picture

It went to Federal Gov't deficit reduction ?

PT's picture

Pocket change.  For a million bucks I wouldn't even quit my day job.  If I had a day job.  (Must go out and get one some time.)  Okay, maybe for a year.  But then it would be back to work.

20 years ago, 1.2 million bought 12 really good houses.  Now it buys one, perhaps a tad over two of the same.  But I suppose its nice work for those who can get it.  If you enjoy looking over your shoulder for the next however long for a measly 1.2 mil.

GMadScientist's picture

Jon Corzine would steal it with more panache.

rlouis's picture

Dear NSA, let me narrow it down for you: start with the passenger and crew list and check their emails, phone calls, texts and especially tweets for the last 5 years.  

CheapBastard's picture

The People of America have had $30 Billion swiped from the palattes of money we shipped to Eye-Rack directly after the invasion.


Where is it, John Dimitri Negroponte?

marathonman's picture

Don't get too upset.  We've had 17 trillion counterfeited pretty much in the last 100 years.  5 trillion in the last five.  1.2 million, 30 billion, just rounding errors, Bastard.

ToNYC's picture

I'd use my hundreds to find out just what you cost, because you ain't giving it to me for free.

Cash, Grass, or Cash: Nobody Rides For Free.

Save gas, ride a cowboy.


GMadScientist's picture

You forgot "Ass", cretin; you wish you knew how to quit him.

Divine Wind's picture




Lets see...


In $100 notes:

1 MILLION would easily fit into a grocery bag.

1 BILLION would take up about 8 standard shipping pallets stacked ~4 feet high.


Thus, ability to physically steal slightly over a billion dollars would require the use of a pallet jack at a minimum, and more likely a fork lift, as well as a large truck.

Additionally, it is standard for cash hauls like this to be guarded by a small army when outside of a vault.

This many eyes would make a physical heist improbable. Not impossible, but highly unlikely.

As such, my guess is that this cash was transferred away digitally, and made to look like a physical heist.

Perhaps a last min switchero of a forged chain of custody document.


[ EDIT: Misread Million for BILLION. Never Mind..... ]


kchrisc's picture

Dear listening intelligence services,

Can you tell me who did this? I know you know so just give me a little hint.

I'll cut you in.

Thanks, and cold regards.

honestann's picture

What would I do with a $100 bill?

Easy.  Buy silver.

DeadFred's picture

Buy a monthly put on the Russell, but sometimes I'm greedy.


TulsaTime's picture

Why would the fed bother with essentially a rounding error?  We probably incenerated that much in Iraq, given all the palletts of bennys we sent over there. 


Cash missing from an airport in NJ?  I never heard of any such thing, except in that movie GOODFELLAS...

quasimodo's picture

One of my favorite flicks......didn't they call it the Lufthansa heist? 

Rob Jones's picture

Are you sure those bills didn't disappear from a helicopter?

DosZap's picture

Same exact thing happened at an airbase in Iraq, only 7 Billion was absconded with,how you dissapear 7 billion with no ONE noticing at a military installation?.