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ANTi-RaDiaTioN UNDeRWeaR...

williambanzai7's picture




 

 

BANZAI7 NEWS--A Japanese company, Acme Fukuppy Enterprises, has launched anti-radiation swimwear and underwear as Fukushima nuclear crisis spirals towards the Tokyo Radiation Olympics.

The products are clearly targeting high-risk dare devil workers in and around the waste water sopped Fukushima nuclear power plant as well as Olympic swimmers.

However, the clothing, which is designed as an additional form of protection alongside conventional anti-radiation jock straps worn by workers at the plant, is not cheap: the swimwear will sell for Y105,000 (£663) and the underwear for Y80,850 (£511).

Workers will be able to acquire the safety garments in lieu of the payment of salary and a free seasonal parking pass at Fukushima Beach.

 

 

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JAPAN LAUNCHES ANTI-RADIATION UNDERWEAR


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A Plumbing We Will Go...

A PLUMBING WE WILL GO
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FUKUPPY (The New Fukushima Mascot)

 

[No we did not make this up: Link]

 

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Fri, 10/18/2013 - 23:20 | 4071181 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

hmm the only truck stop for miles,  Jim Jones started his church there, and some white supremacists shot up an armored truck a few years ago. used to drive that route along the 101, its the end and the beginning. 

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 19:36 | 4070697 One of We
One of We's picture

Do your self a favor and stop buying GM's crappy products.  Be a patriitic American and get a fucking Toyota.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 22:24 | 4071082 monad
monad's picture

GM trucks are Toyota. 

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 21:19 | 4070941 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

LOL.  Just placed the order with Rock Auto. Do you think I can fix a JF Chrysler TC and an old bare bones Hyundai Accent for $61.86?  We shall find out because I am not even sure of this potential excellent cheapness is possible.  The Hyundai rolls again and the Russian built Mrs. M took the kids to a Halloween festivity in the potential fireball that is the JF Chrysler.  I warned Mrs. M that the van runs just fine but that the engine compartment could catch fire and advised against using the vehicle.  It's plenty good yet she said and asked what to do if it really did catch on fire just in case.  I said to grab the kids get the fuck out of the van and let it burn.

Basically, I told that woman that the vehicle is not safe to drive until I can fix it because I need the parts first.  I even showed her where the problem was and explained what it was earlier.  The o-ring on the fuel pressure regulator seals up once the engine is warm I explained.  The next thing you know, as I am placing the replacement parts order, they are all gone and so is the van!

The Russian woman did not ask or anything, she just took off.LMFAO  They all made it to and fro but that explains a Russian woman and a Russian Mother.  Mrs. M was not going to deny her children some Halloween crapaganza even if it meant going up in flames on the way.  When they returned home, I had to ask one key question, "ARE YOU DEAF?".  Then I started laughing with her.   

Mrs. M is going to wear my ZH hat tonight for an hour even though she won't wan't to.  Bless her for never listening to a word I say.  She truly ZeroHedges.  She thinks we are a bunch of idiots who are wasting our time bitching but she does like WB7's work.     

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 11:47 | 4071732 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Russian women grow up with Soviet Lada not scare easy.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 01:20 | 4071274 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I like RockAuto.

3.3 Chrysler or 3.0 Mitsubishi?

Sounds like the Chrysler piece of shit with parts aplenty from Mexico.

I had the minivan (Plymouth Voyager) with the 3.0 Mitsubishi V6, the motor was the only thing that caused me ZERO problems, anything else on the car was from Detroit or Mexico and nothing but problems.

Left caliper wore out completely at 26,000 miles - asked for parts - right caliper pads had 30,000 miles left on them - service advisor said "We've seen that before."

Fuck me!  WTF!?  I've never seen disc breaks wear that unevenly!  WTF you mean "we've seen that before"!?!?

God damned P.O.S.'s!!!

Best of luck.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 08:02 | 4071466 chunga
chunga's picture

My old car has been running great (knock on wood) but I've never been to Rock auto.

The price of regular gas in these parts is ~$3.06. For the heck of it I filled it up with some gas that doesn't contain ethanol. It costs a little more but the ethanl crap really raises hell with small engines so I always use it for my chain saws, mowers and stuff like that. We'll see if I notice a difference.

Had a problem with the water heater though. I was standing near it the other day and it started leaking at the lower element. Good thing I was standing there just when it started to leak...what's the chances of that happening? Anyway, I drained it before it made a big mess and replaced the element but the only one I could find right away was a high watt density job from dumb Lowes. I really don't like that store. Since then I bought a low density element but decided against replacing it. They don't actually save energy compared to the high watt...but they're better if your water has a high mineral content. They last longer.

So instead of doing that this morning I'm going to stick with my original schedule before the water heater trouble came along. I finally changed the slope on an area of my property I don't like. I'll sow the seed (it's a red fescue that should be perfect for this particular area...it's shady) but I'm a little concerned about a cold snap that's coming our way. I'll drill the seeds, keep it damp, cover it with some straw and keep my fingers crossed. 

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 16:39 | 4072184 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Electric water heaters are a pain in the ass; old gas one at my house was 20 years old and still going.  Electric one at my townhouse had the elements go at seven years.  But, gas probably isn't an opiton for you - best of luck - make sure the breaker is off.

The grass seed should be fine; they're smart - temperature sensors built in, they won't germinate if it's too cold - they'll wait for Spring.  They have UV sensors built in too, they know when the days are too short to germinate.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 17:54 | 4072286 chunga
chunga's picture

Manipuflation had me cracking up telling about his car.

Sometimes it's nice to read about "normal" life stories instead of the constant barrage of rotten politicians and bankers etc.

Forgot to mention...the previous owner must have dry fired the electric water heater and warped the leaking element. It was a "foldback" type, bent at a 45 degree angle. That was quite a Magyver job getting that rascal out of a >2" hole without damaging the threads or cracking the glass liner LOL.

Sun, 10/20/2013 - 01:49 | 4073002 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Good work Magyver!  Yes, enjoyed the story too and know what you mean. Hope you get your day of rest tomorrow.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 22:36 | 4071107 joego1
joego1's picture

Funny story! Thanks for the tip on Rockauto parts.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 22:29 | 4071087 monad
monad's picture

Hedge that that automotive investment properly. Take out lots more life insurance on your loved ones. As much as you can afford.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:33 | 4070103 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture

Despair.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 20:05 | 4070781 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

As opposed to dat pair of underwear?

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:31 | 4070094 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Hey, I don't care if my left hand and nose fall off, just as long as I can protect my gonads and my poop chute."

WTF?  Radiation kills!  Is this so people can pretend there is a solution that doesn't inolve enough concrete to fill the Grand Canyon?

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:17 | 4070065 resurger
resurger's picture

looooooooooooooooooooool

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:13 | 4070054 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

been thinking about building an RF proof room, something which no cell phone signal, wifi, or radio wave of any kind can penetrate. that's what drove the Wash DC Navy yard shooter over the edge.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 07:49 | 4071460 SimMaker
SimMaker's picture

Use Copper.......TinFoil is over-rated.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:04 | 4070034 hangemhigh77
hangemhigh77's picture

Banzaii, Greenfuckspan wrote a book.  TEAR IT TO PIECES!!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:42 | 4069953 AgileArjuna
AgileArjuna's picture

Does it come with "stop listening to the bloggers" earplugs?

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:03 | 4070030 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Only in the 'Gold' plan.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:39 | 4069941 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

If you live West of the Mississippi you should be buying Potassium Iodide pills. About a 2 week supply per person would be ideal. If Fukushima 'gors nuclear' you won't have time to go shopping. A two week supply will protect you while you put things in order and figure out where to run to.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 20:36 | 4070855 Not Too Important
Not Too Important's picture

That might have worked for the two weeks after 3/11, but it's all over now.

Japan has a few years left, tops, and North America is right behind. If you can't move to the Southern Hemisphere, which might add a few years on to your life - since all our lungs are full of uranium and plutonium - start drinking and smoking. It won't make any difference at all.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:43 | 4069920 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Mitt Romney already has em...

New and improved...radiation proof too!

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:03 | 4070032 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

Mitt is fixing up his house in La Jolla overlooking the Pacific Ocean, fix up is a misnomer, tear down and rebuild. a few neighbors have complained (that he is stealing beach access) and that he is building a mcmansion on steroids in the somewhat humble neighborhood. mostly they are happy because all the neighbors property values will go up too (and their taxes, oh thats right the rich don't pay taxes)

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 20:37 | 4070863 Not Too Important
Not Too Important's picture

While the smart money is selling all their beachfront property while the market is still good (don't have to disclose radiation to the buyers yet). Give it a year or two - West Coast RE will be worthless.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 23:04 | 4071151 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

GW has covered this story pretty well, the projected effluence of the (current) radiation leak figures to hit the northern pac coast sooner and harder, but to migrate south and last longer at diminished levels. for the rich who just want the view no problem. for fishermen and surfers (who have been arguing about ocean pollution for years, because so much raw sewage is pumped into the ocean, secondarily through storm drains) its a real problem. maybe those pesky sea lions who moved into the childrens pool at La Jolla will all die off, (the rich think this way). no it wont be anymore worthless than a penthouse in Manhattan, which overlooks what, miles of urban overcrowding?

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 11:37 | 4071723 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

As if the people on the left coast aren't weird enough already...

I can't see radiation improving them at all.

They become the Morlochs.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:04 | 4069816 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

I knew this whole damn earth destroying calamity was all just one big giant anti-radiation underwear conspiracy. 

I'm sure Frooot of the Looom or Under Armor had something to do with this.  They invented anti-radiation underwear and then realized...fuck....we don't got no stinkin' market for this shit.

Queue underwater thermonuclear blast to cause a 9.5 earthquake to cause a catastrophic tsunami to blow up Fukushima to massively irradiate the entire globe, and whoala!  Anti-radiation underwear now flying off the shelves like hot cakes, bitchez!

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it...

 

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:17 | 4069856 Andy_Jackson_Jihad
Andy_Jackson_Jihad's picture

That's an interesting take.

I just thought the underpants gnomes finally figured out step 2.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=underpants%20gnomes

 

 

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:10 | 4069836 CPL
CPL's picture

There isn't enough silver on the planet to make a fraction they need.  (it's woven silver which helps dampen external radiation, it does however eventually absorb too much and becomes radioactive itself.)

 

Radiation is about as anti-life as it gets, however if people want to carry around two glowing walnuts in a silver blanket.  Let them.  Doesn't change the underlying root cause of the problem.  Which is having an experimental nuclear facility go up in smoke and completely fuck the entire pacific and area.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:20 | 4069870 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

Silver is only made radioactive by neutrons, which the waste isn't giving off (the waste is beta-decaying - electrons) - neutrons only happen during fission.  I know, I use it to measure the neutron output of my fusor, with 2m neutrons/second exposure (moderated neutron speed to hit the cross-section resonance of silver), 5 minutes gets the silver, 2" sq, to around 1500 counts/min (bequerels are counts/second so divide that by 60 == 25 bq).  For about 2-3 minutes, then it's down to the background count around here, which is around 120 cpm (about 2 bq - I'm careful to keep it as low as the cosmic background allows in my lab).  The millions of neutrons/second, should you absorb those, do a HELL of a lot more damage.

Bullish for silver if anybody buys this - or silver polish, it's going to tarnish, and no proper Japanese would go out looking like that.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 18:44 | 4070539 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Gold is even more interesting from a non isotope point of view.  If bombarded with atomic particles, all of its isotopes decay quickly. The longest lived of its isotopes is 186 days. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isotopes_of_gold

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:07 | 4070041 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

you drive a fusor, is it a four door?

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:03 | 4070021 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

well, if you're gonna get all technical about it and stuff...

Or should I say, "Touché"

lol ;-)

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:00 | 4069804 LawyerScum
LawyerScum's picture

Those radiation swimsuits are the fucking bomb, they make you look like Rom the Spaceknight for christ's sake. It's a win-win situation, being protected from deadly radiation and looking like a bad ass space knight in the process.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rom-1.jpg

 

 

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:10 | 4069840 CPL
CPL's picture

Sweet

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:00 | 4069802 kurt
kurt's picture

Great Balls of Fire!

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:01 | 4070017 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Let's hear it for the 'nads'!  Go-Nads!  Titanium jock straps.  Won't get a boner in one of these!

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 16:39 | 4070122 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

And if you do?

DaddyO

edit: Broke dick mountain maybe...

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 14:57 | 4069793 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Thought Banzai might find better models for this new gear ...

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 14:51 | 4069767 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Do they have that extra Lead Lined Nard Protector? Gotta protect those Family Jewels.

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 14:49 | 4069759 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

in the Year of the Adult Depends Undergarment: Infinite Jest - David Foster Wallace

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 14:48 | 4069756 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Nutz

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 13:59 | 4069563 WALLST8MY8BALL
WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Anti Radiation Underwear! Perfect gift for a frequent flyer!

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 22:58 | 4071137 philipat
philipat's picture

Can't wait for those pink "Hello Kitty" radiation bras and panties..

Fri, 10/18/2013 - 15:22 | 4069874 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

True.  Flying exposes you to more than you'd think.  http://xkcd.com/radiation/ is actually accurate and well-researched.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 03:08 | 4071337 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

It's like eating plutonium.

Sat, 10/19/2013 - 21:42 | 4072720 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Or Cesium 137, even if keep in refrigerator on Balcony for 30.1 year.

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