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I HaVe HaZ ENuFFS!!!
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I think this woman of mine is making fun of me here... If she keeps it up I will buy some lutefisk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATX9xrXVSHQ
we see you citizen
Comrade, please repeat the message!
could this be the reason Washington never wanted to be made king? (or be president? He wished to be an anon. farmer)
Wm. Banzai, you remind me of Peter Sis
WB...wtf? no coffee warning -- shit, man, janus just misted his environs.
shillbillies is one of your all-timers. the whole medley was splendid...but shillbillies, damnit, my brother, the expressions on all the pasted (and, may i add, 'pasty') faces...all of it, every jot & titter, absolutely supurb. shillbilles is T-shirt worthy!
i just settled in front of the ole iradescant screen, so i've got a bit more reading, coffee drinking and cig smoking to go before i'm ready to unleash a torrent of Truth.
i think i'm gonna talk race in amorica -- so, ZHealots, put the kids to sleep, fortify your sensibilities against offense & and alert the NSA...trouble is on the way.
{personal note to WB and all my closer amigos here on the Hedge...mother & son reconciled. a peace & fullness has settled over my soul and soothed us both with gentle equinamity. i will also say that sons need mothers and vice versa; there is no rejiggering of life's fundamental affinities. I love you, momma}
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Pa5H_4lBXs
no, i would not give you false-hope,
janus
I have developed my own special style for "pasting the heads in Photoshop". My printer who has seen just about everything said he never saw anyone do it the way I do it. I think this is because I hate reading manuals and following instructions. ;-)
But as you observed, matching the expressions and portrait perspectives is the most important part of the Banzai7 sauce.
Epic William. Shillbillies lol.
And thank you... I will never again be able to look at Yellen and not see the beard on her.
"But Sauron was not of mortal flesh, and though he was robbed now of the shape in which had wrought so great an evil, so that he could never again appear fair to the eyes of men, yet his spirit arose out of the deep and passed as a shadow and a black wind..."
LOL !
Grumpy Cat is armed with the noose and the quill pen. For when the pen no longer is mightier than the sword.....it'll be time for the noose.
But Banzai"s Digital Pen is a MIGHTY sword still.
HuZzAh bAnZai !!!!!!
Ick, This virus must have been engineered by the NSA. I will beat it. More orange juice bitchez.
Mrs. M, the Russian chief consul of this household, sent me this link all the way from the other room and said that this article has pissed off a lot of Russians. It's worth the read.LOL
http://nnl.tumblr.com/post/20217643413/jeremy-clarkson-lada-riva-powered-by-beetroot-the
Then she added this.
I have to agree :-) As Russians say, manners maketh the British latePublished: 3 March 2013
Time. It’s now so precious that we will happily spend an absolute fortune making all the things we do faster, simply so we have time to do more things.
A decade or more ago, if you were suddenly consumed with a need to watch some online footage of a cat falling over, it took about a minute for your internet to load the film. This was a minute none of us could spare. Then we got the idea of watching it on the go. Luckily a conglomerate of international mobile phone companies had paid the British government £22bn for something called 3G. This meant people had to wait only five seconds to see a cat falling over, and for a while we were all very happy.
But then we all realised that in the modern world five seconds is far too long. So now phone companies have paid a further £2.3bn for 4G, a service that delivers hilarious animal-related accidents almost instantaneously.
We see the same thing going on in lifts. We need a button that closes the doors when we’re ready to go because we simply cannot wait four seconds for them to close by themselves. Rightly so. Two lift journeys a day could waste eight seconds. Which in a working week is 40 seconds. In a time frame that vast we could have watched six cats falling over. And an amusing helicopter crash.
It’s the same at our favourite supermarket. If the queues are too long, we will go elsewhere. Even if we know the next shop fills its burgers with horses, toenails and bits of mashed bat.
I know I’m more pathological than most about wasting time, but surely you too must froth at the mouth when you sit down to watch a DVD and you are electronically prevented from fast- forwarding through the legal disclaimers that precede it. This is lawyers stealing our lives. And we hate it.
It’s strange, though. We fume in traffic jams and curse when people on pavements walk too slowly, yet we are prepared to waste hours and hours of every day gurning and engaging in idle chitchat with people we don’t know.
The British middle-class obsession with good manners means we feel obliged to discuss the weather with our postman and our holidays with our hairdresser. We write ridiculously long thank-you letters to people we’ve already thanked verbally. In business emails we use words that aren’t necessary simply because we feel the need to be polite, and if we want directions we always start out by saying, “Excuse me. I hate to be a bother but . . .”
Been on a flight recently? The obsequiousness is now so rampant that it takes half an hour to make every announcement. “Any bread items for yourself at all today, sir?”
I bring all of this up because I’ve just spent a week in Russia where manners don’t seem to have been invented. When a hotel receptionist needs your passport, she doesn’t say, “Would it be possible to see your passport for a moment, sir, if it isn’t too much trouble?” She says, “Passport”. And if you can’t find it within three seconds, she says, “Now!”
When you order a dish from a menu that isn’t available, there’s no tiresome hand-wringing explanation from the waiter. He just says, “It’s off”. And if you are struggling to get your luggage through a revolving door, no one waits patiently until you’ve sorted the problem out. They repeatedly shove the handles until everything in your suitcase is smashed and your fingers have been severed.
When a British Top Gear fan wants my photograph, they spend hours explaining how their son watches the show on Dave and how he can impersonate me and how it’s a religion in their house. Whereas in Russia they just say, “Photo”. And if they don’t happen to have a camera, you are told to stay where you are until they have been back to their house and got one.
Ever been stuck behind two British people while waiting for a ski lift? “After you.” “No, you were here first.” “No, really. I’m sure you were.” “Oh, it’s OK. I don’t mind waiting. It’s such a lovely day.” “Much warmer than last year.” After a while you are consumed with an urgent need to stab both of them with your poles.
Queuing is much easier in Russia — because no one bothers. You just walk to the front and if anyone objects — this actually happened — you pull out your wallet and show the complainant your credit cards. This is Russian for, “I am richer than you, sunshine, so shut up.”
It’s the same in what we call polite discussion. You don’t dress up counter-arguments with subtle innuendo. Russians just say, “You’re wrong” and move on. Here’s one conversation I had:
“Jews are running the world.”
“I hear what you say, but I don’t think that’s the case.”
“You’re wrong.”
“But there are plenty of examples . . .”
“I said, ‘You’re wrong.’”
Being British, it’s all very upsetting. But after a while I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing. When someone is wasting your evening with their harebrained nonsense, just tell them they are wrong and walk away. When you are in a butcher’s shop, don’t bother with small talk. Just say, “Two chops” and wait to be told the price. When someone is dawdling on the pavement, push them out of the way. And in a bar, don’t try to catch the barman’s eye. Just shout what you want from the back of the queue.
It certainly works on Aeroflot. Planes set off before everyone is seated, and when you are coming in to land, you don’t get any rubbish from the pilot about the weather and he doesn’t wish you a safe onward journey. You are told to sit up straight and to remain seated until the plane has stopped. Which no one does.
Back at Heathrow, the immigration official was very chummy. “Been away long?” he asked politely. I saved two seconds by not bothering with an answer.
I felt terrible. Guilty as hell. But that’s the curse of being British. That’s why we need 4G and buttons that close the lift doors, and high-speed rail links. Because they free up more time for writing very long thank-you letters and making small talk with the milkman.
manipfulation,
thanks for those...janus is a mega-fan of top gear (one of the best shows evah). and though it shouldn't suprise, it did. 'it' being clarkson's deft with language and whatnot.
mr. clarkson, top-notch prose (wonderfully witty, too). furthermore, if janus ever makes 'it', he intends to smash le blanc's record...grind it to powder -- so to speak. furthermore-furthermore, when are 'you people' ever going to realize (see, realize is to be spelled with a 'z'...this 's' stuff is pure rubbish) that wrong-side-o-the-road driving has been a failed and miserable experiment. i envision a world in which standard transmission shifting is everywhere accomplished with the right hand, the way God intended; this blessing should be extended to our brothers on the wrong side of the atlantic, too.
cheers to the american way!
do NOT fuck with the roadmaster...LT1, bitchez!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjGEGL0gfc
poor brits...poor-poor brits...
they hate us for our roadmasters,
janus
Station wagons are cool but this is the best one ever. Probably throw some rims on it and install headers with cut-outs, dual exhaust with Thrush glass packed "mufflers(pre-burnt out), an Edelbrock intake manifold and a pair of Holley 750 double pumpers. Chicks would dig me while I am at the gas station twice a day I think.
Actually the 1965 GTO is my car of choice but now you are going to have to get out the checkbook and it's really not practical for me. Could you imagine the look on Mrs. M's face if I rolled in with one of these bad boys and started rapping the pipes. Here you go Honey, I got you a nice 1983 wood-walled warrior and hey it's two years newer than you are and I even put some jewelry on it... and made it loud. That should score some points for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1P49AHk3BA
Is you is or is you ain't have haz enuffs, cause if you is , then DO SOMETHIN', but if you ain't... well then there you is ! I think we haz all have haz enuffs ! Granny says she aint't going to live in AFFORDABLE CARE TOWN. Granny also says FU ZERO.
It struck how being placed next to the other mutant shillbillies, Janet Yellen actually isn't so ugly after all. Relatively speaking, that is. (-:
Beverly Shillbillies. Oh snap. That says it all.
Endeavor to Perservere is a line from Josey Wales.
Lone Wadi -- "Endeavor to Perservere" We thought about this for a long time. Then we declared war on the white man.
Josey's talk with Ten Bears is so classic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWCvi-XvQuo
The exchange about the silver running out of the Santo Rio is kind of a metaphor for resource depletion in a way and in a nutshell.
"This ain't Santo Rio.
My son, Tom Turner,
said it was a thriving place.
TEN SPOT:
It was.
But when the silver run out,
the thriving run out.
That's right.
I do declare."
For those of you looking for some unique fun see http://logicenginedesigns.com
Very creative, WB. Next time around, you can include an image highlighting the groveling behavior of most media bigshot reporters. Almost an hour ago, "Face The Nation" started with a clip of host Bob Schieffer reporting from the sixth floor of what was the Texas School Book Depository. Schieffer said that using a $21 mail order rifle, Lee Harvey Oswald had "an easy shot" to kill JFK as his motorcade passed by. First off, Oswald's Carcano bolt action rifle with telescopic site cost $30. Schieffer is the first reporter I know to say that Oswald's shooting of JFK was easy. Not one person since has been able to replicate Oswald's firing three shots within 2 seconds with such deadly accuracy. Schieffer follwed up his lie about the "easy shot" Oswald had with a studio interview of Luci Johnson, daughter of LBJ (Robert Kennedy accused LBJ to his face of masterminding the murder of his brother). How much toadying can a viewer stand? I had enough of liar Schieffer, so I shut "Face The Nation" off.
I believe schieffer is a member of the CFR.
Council of Fucking Retards?
This JFK stuff is all a big misdirection. Oh gee wiz, suddenly the MSM is wondering about who killed JFK.
Wondering about who killed JFK is certainly easier, not to mention safer, than wondering who killed the economy, or who killed healthcare.
Echoing Hillarity Clits' words, "At this point does it really matter?"
(I must just become more grammatically correct. Damn it. I TRIED. That counts for something, right? I am sorry. That makes it okay, right?)
JFK was about to put the US back on a bi-metal standard. Since the US at that time still had a massive stock pile of physical silver.
He had already signed the executive order and the silver backed 'silver dollar' currency was in the process of being printed. It was about to be released (cutting out the bankster middlemen) when he was "eliminated."
One of the first things LBJ did when assuming office, was to recind JFK's executive order and have the "silver dollar" currency queitly destroyed. Matter of public record. Look it up for yourself.
This may save you a bit of time.
http://www.john-f-kennedy.net/thefederalreserve.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsYJT317CEs
I'm not so sure any more that's true.
http://market-ticker.org/akcs-www?post=225900
Bill Stills research through the Library of the Congress was accomplished 33 years after the fact! Executive order #11110 (as an historical evidentury record) may well have been altered during the intervening time period. Suspicious mind? Yes. Do not under estimate the resouces, or the resourcefullness of the powers that were responsible for JFK's death.
See; JFK Executive order #11110
The $2,00 and $5.00 notes were in circulation and the 10 & 20 dollar notes were being printed at the time of JFK's assassination. Matter of public record. These notes were issued by the US Treasury not the Fed. The banksters did not like this. They were being cut off from feeding at the public trough!
I own just two of the $5 United States Notes...Series 1963. Red Seals. Since E.O. 11110 was never annulled, and only modifications were added, they are still legally Silver Backed.
Whether or not the Government actually ever honors that backing is a different topic. (My bet is that they will DEFAULT.)
But they are good visual, physical props to educate others about Money.
Fucking awesome!
I envy WilliamBanzai7's ability to depict the current events in pictures and in the same time making people laugh at the farce that we live in...
I have four criteria I always aspire to:
1. Some historic or factual significance grounded in current events.
2. Satire stirring humor or other emotions.
3. Advancing the technical and aesthetic level of my work.
4. Humiliation and ridicule of my targets.
Obviously there is plenty of slapstick/sight gags etc, but I always try to do it creatively and I also balance with other serious efforts. And every image achieves these ends to differing degrees.
Lately I have also started doing tributes to public figures I believe deserve admiration, as scarce as they are.
WB7
I know some of you are on the fence and I don't want to be a pest, but this is the best time to ship to the US.
Before Thanksgiving...
WB, No presidential cufflinks?!
I eyes ya.
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/276/829/711.gif
No worries. Now we have a Jewish Mother dictating the economy.
Chicken soup will save us.
A dumpling in every pot.
William,
The cross-haired retina overlaid on the antique map of the US may be the single most powerful and ominous visual you've ever created. Bravo!
Eye knew what eye wanted to do and eye was lucky to have found that old relief map. ;-)
Yeah, that North America target picture is oustdanding. It really caught my eye.
And the Shillbillies was pure comic genius. As a former pro Pshopper myself, I have nothing but respect for your mad skillz.
Rock ON, Brother!
Fire Angel
Hey WB is that one available as a fine print?
Yes it is. I have it in a large file format. Basically, everything I do now is of fine printable quality, subject to copyright issues. One of the reasons I like to use the very vintage images is they are all public domain. This one will look great in print.
And the used prophylactic?
Great metaphor!
As in, well and truly f***ed!
"I am sorry they won't let you have your sloop again, for I scorn to do any one a mischief, when it is not to my advantage; damn the sloop, we must sink her, and she might be of use to you. Though you are a sneaking puppy, and so are all those who will submit to be governed by laws which rich men have made for their own security; for the cowardly whelps have not the courage otherwise to defend what they get by knavery; but damn ye altogether: damn them for a pack of crafty rascals, and you, who serve them, for a parcel of hen-hearted numbskulls. They vilify us, the scoundrels do, when there is only this difference, they rob the poor under the cover of law, forsooth, and we plunder the rich under the protection of our own courage. Had you not better make then one of us, than sneak after these villains for employment?"
[Beer replied that his conscience would not let him break the laws of God and man, and Bellamy continued]
"You are a devilish conscience rascal! I am a free prince, and I have as much authority to make war on the whole world as he who has a hundred sail of ships at sea and an army of 100,000 men in the field; and this my conscience tells me! But there is no arguing with such snivelling puppies, who allow superiors to kick them about deck at pleasure."— Captain Bellamy
Now here is a man who knew, even centuries ago, what granting authority to the unworthy can turn into. What the laws of man really are and how the very concept of it can be abused by evil, petty men.
Time to raise the black flag gentlemen, no mercy, no quarter, its just business.
Nice kitty up top Banzai ;-)
- Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats. H. L. Mencken
A great crime has been perpetrated on the people.
It enshrines extortion into law as something that is good, ethical & moral. It was passed with the time honored lawmakers tools of bribery, deception and false advertising. It was held by the highest court in the land to be a tax in the positive (to be collected by corporations unbelievably) or a fine/penalty in the negative (to be collected by government) if you fail to comply or consent to being taxed by a corporation. And then promoted again to the People by a President with more false advertising & now his admitted lies to keep them from going into rebellion.
What has happened is called fraud & extortion on a monumental scale and this is one of those times.
You did it again; Buffmore, oups Guffmore, and GW-squid. Bravo!