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The Journey and the Destination

Cognitive Dissonance's picture




 

The Journey and the Destination

By

Cognitive Dissonance

 

“Mama always said life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump

 

Mrs. Cog and I live at the end of a dirt road off of a dirt road off of a back road up on the beautiful Blue Ridge Plateau of Southwestern Virginia. God’s country as I’m fond of saying to just about anyone who’s willing to listen. But we are (intentionally) a ways off the beaten path, which means we must travel more than a mile of dirt road before we hit first pavement of the day.

Once we arrive at that first intersection, where brown dirt greets blacktop, life for us is not much different than just about anyone else pulling out of their suburban driveway or parking lot for the first time that day. We seemingly face a choice; turn left or turn right. Oftentimes we believe our choices in life are dictated solely by our ultimate destination, and thus we feel there’s no real choice to be selected at all. I owe I owe, so off to work I go.

The paved side road we initially reach, which in my mind is a classic utilitarian Destination road, runs more or less parallel to The Blue Ridge Parkway, an equally classic Journey road and a Virginia scenic byway. There are several points on the Destination road in either direction where we can turn directly onto the Parkway. In fact if we were to travel the Parkway for a hundred miles in either direction we would find that for much of the way there are dozens of side roads that run parallel to, or intersect with, the Parkway.

These days when I hit tarmac for the first time I try to pause a moment and ask myself a simple question. What type of path would I like to travel to get to where I’m going? In most cases the Journey road is much longer and more time consuming, but relaxing and wonderfully scenic. On the other hand the Destination road is just the opposite, narrow and twisty and demanding of my attention, but often more direct and much faster.

If you think about it for a moment, while the first decision point crossed may dictate several other choices that follow, there are often many combinations of routes you can travel to arrive at your final destination. And this is why for Mrs. Cog and I it is often not an either/or, left/right, Journey/Destination choice. Rather there is really no need to make a definitive choice driven solely by the destination unless we wish to select a specific chocolate from the box. And where’s the fun in that?

Precisely because the Parkway crosses all manner of back roads, lately if time allows (and I do try to allow for plenty of time these days) I have been using the Journey road as a gateway to explore all kinds of side roads I might never have traveled otherwise. The same applies to several Destination roads around here. Many meander back and forth through the hills and valleys and several join back up with the Parkway at various points. Half the fun of getting lost is finding your ‘self’ again.

The Journey

For most of my life I have tended to travel unfamiliar roads just to see what’s down there. Once they are known to me I then attempt to work them into my travel routine as much as possible. Even if I have traveled a road dozens of times before there is always much more to see and learn along the way if only I would bother to really look rather than just to see.

One can find inspiration wherever one looks, a conscious choice we often ignore or don't even know exists. The truth of the matter is that I have always had endless possibilities to explore and I was just too blind or lazy (crazy?) to ever fully see them for what they are. One does not need to travel the plateau in order to experience the endless possibilities of each day. Life’s choices are only absolute ‘or’ rather than ‘and’ decision points commanded by circumstances or destination if I consciously decide to create them that way.

The truth is that whenever I wish to do so, I can close my eyes and reach into my box of chocolates to see what type of surprise or inspiration life has to offer. Ultimately it is not a choice of Journey or Destination, but rather Journey and Destination. We can have life's box of chocolates and eat it too because our conscious, aware and willing life choices either replenish or drain the box. Deliberately expand your field of choices, then act upon them and you will refill your box of chocolates.

If there is one theme that resonates with me, within Cognitive Dissonance, it is to question everything beginning with ourselves. Just because we have always turned left at the end of the driveway doesn’t mean we should do so today. Get up thirty minutes or an hour early and turn right instead. More than anything else you will do during your day, breaking from your routine in such a small but significant way will reinforce your continued awakening by changing your physical and mental perspective which in turn continues the freeing of the mind.

Next time you reach the first decision point in any aspect of your life (physical, spiritual, career, family, travel, hobby etc.) close your eyes and reach into life’s box of chocolates. You might be surprised what you pull out and where it will take you from there.

 

12-31-2013

Cognitive Dissonance

 

The Destination

 

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Wed, 01/01/2014 - 13:39 | 4290975 chunga
chunga's picture

Nice! We're only a couple of plateaus to the west and south of you.

Happy New Year Mr. and Mrs. Cog. :-)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:23 | 4290694 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

One of the beauties of children is that they often times make a person examine their choices. Sometimes in big ways and sometimes in small ways. When my children were younger they would call the express way " the faster way" and every time we would go some place I'd start to get on the express way and they would say " oh not the faster way dad, it's so boring". This always led to us seeking a longer alternative route. The beauty was that we see things we would have never witnessed taking the boring old flatland through cornfield middle America.

Great subject matter for the turn of the new year CD. I always look forward to your posts. May 2014 bring in many blessings to you and Mrs. Cog.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:32 | 4290713 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Blue Highway America is the only way to drive.

Out of the mouth of babes comes great wisdom if only we would stash our ego and listen. Sounds like you listened to yours.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 13:50 | 4290995 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Blue Highways, by Least Heat Moon, an excellent read

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Highways

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:22 | 4290692 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

You have always been the most Zen of financial advisors CD.  Welcome home.

Since you go by now and then, you might want to check out Floyd County, or as the locals call it, the Republic of Floyd.  The county seat has one, count it ONE stop light.  Seems right to me.  The music is good and the folks are a bit backward and honory, but some of the best you will ever meet. 

                                              Happy Trails.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:29 | 4290704 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We know The Republic of Floyd fairly well. Thank God that single stop light is there cus that four way intersection at the crest of the hill with buildings crowding the sidewalks would be a killer without it. 

The people in the surrounding counties claim Floyd is where the hippies reside. As a former long hair myself it is obvious to me they are right. I even subscribe to The Floyd Press just to keep up on the goings on over there. Good music concerts in the summer I hear.

Some day Mrs. Cog and I will walk Rt 8 near that thar stop light and check out all those specialty 'hippie' shops.  :)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:07 | 4290677 VonStrakovich
VonStrakovich's picture

While I'm generally just a lurker on ZH, stealing away snippets of knowledge from those more learned than me or smirking at WB7 images; I do always pause mentally and slow down to read CD. "Some of this will maybe make me wiser", I say to myself, "if only I can retain it in my Pooh Bear head."

Thank you for taking the time. As I'm just over the TN state line from you, you're welcome to step outside and try to catch the scent of the ribs I'll be grilling for lunch :)

Just out of curiosity, and I'm just asking because sometimes your words read so similarly; you don't hang out with a certain Remus from over at the woodpile do you?

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:19 | 4290690 Cognitive Dissonance
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Never heard of him until now. But ol Remus and his Woodpile Report are now up on my radar screen.

Thank you for the tip and your comment.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 10:47 | 4290660 Cloud9.5
Cloud9.5's picture

2013 was one of the three hardest years of my life.  The ranks of the clan are thinning.  The old guard is dying out.  The greatest generation will all be dead and gone by the end of the decade and we boomers are stepping up to the front of the line.  Ten thousand of us are walking away from the careers that defined us every day.  We have precious little time to tidy up the mess we have made.  For some of us it has been a great run but our portion of the play is coming to an end.  It is time for us boomers to take the high road not the easy road.  The end of the game is rapidly approaching and when it is all said and done the king and the pawn will wind up in the same box.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:08 | 4290682 Cognitive Dissonance
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It sounds like you lost someone in 2013. Or maybe something.....hope perhaps?

It appears that the so called 'boomer' generation is headed in that general direction. We have only ourselves to blame. Of course, for the vast majority of us, 'we' will be the last to shoulder the blame.

Thank you for coming by and commenting.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 12:26 | 4290826 Cloud9.5
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Loss is a lesson in having.  When the inevitable takes place, some of us come to realize how fragile our constructs really are. I do not know if now is the time to push, but I do know that now is not the time to yield.  The time for yielding is over. Some in our generation are at the fulcrum.  Before they step down, they can tip the balance.   My hope is that the last of us will have the strength of will to face the maelstrom.  Self-interest has had its play.  The party for us is over.  We are all dead men walking.  I have never seen a U-Haul behind a hearse.  Venality must at some point give way to virtue.  If it does not, we simply wind up being a bad joke.

Thu, 01/02/2014 - 00:27 | 4292503 Seer
Seer's picture

Forget feeling that it's your job to "fix the world."  Alan Watts does a pretty good job of telling why:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tn9-Ygto9yw

Give up hope: http://www.orionmagazine.org/index.php/articles/article/170/  Get rid of any sense of dispair by becoming active.

As Derrick Jensen says, it's OK to believe that we're fucked AND to believe that life is really good.

I plan on "doing" until I drop dead.  The alternative is?  BE happy, as there's no better way to be when you die... (it's in the mind)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:29 | 4290618 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on,
Under cloud and under star.
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen,
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green,
And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone.
Let others follow, if they can!
Let them a journey new begin.
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Still 'round the corner there may wait
A new road or secret gate;
And though I oft have passed them by,
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun - J R R Tolkien

Happy New Year to you and Mrs.CD ;-)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:51 | 4290626 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I am humbled when I read the words of a true wordsmith. It makes my feeble efforts pale by comparison.

I appreciate that you stopped by to say hi and leave some pearls of wisdom after my long absence. Thank you. :-)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 10:25 | 4290645 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I wanted to edit it at..."Until it joins some larger way, Where many paths and errands meet."...to get my initial intended point across...but like many things experienced in life, its not just the road/journey that makes something worthy of effort.

Its the destination too, my friend.

You guys take care, enjoy yourselves, the different roads & people you will encounter and remember that same road always leads back to your other home right here, you were missed ;-)

Thu, 01/02/2014 - 00:03 | 4292462 Seer
Seer's picture

Words are but futile agents to the heart's intent.  They may utter when the heart does not.  Ah, but sometimes close is good enough.  And with that I'd like to say: "hug." (I've had some disagreements with you in the past but things just no longer seem the past, I feel you as a better person, and, well, all the best.)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:25 | 4290700 kaiserhoff
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Thanks nmewn.  One of the more hopeful things about ZH is that some of us still read.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:26 | 4290617 YHC-FTSE
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Douglas Adams' preferred method of travel, especially when he was lost, was finding someone on the road who looked like he knew where he was going and then following him to his destination.  He didn't always reach where he wanted to go, but he did get somewhere. :). I guess that's why I am reading your post today, CD.

Hungover as I am (forgot to drink enough water before falling flat last night), my mind is full of the lovely images of summer from your post. Flashing slivers of sunlight through the shaded tree lined path, the heady sweet odours of a farm nearby, the crunch of gravel underfoot,  and the joys of being alive and at peace in contemplation.  Thank you for those reminders I can look forward to this year.

You are more right in ways you may not have considered to urge people to try something new. I won't bore anyone with dendrites and axions, but repetitive behaviour sets the connections between the neurons, until the pathways are so dominant it is close to impossible to change them. So we observe irrational behaviour in some people who find it impossible to change their minds on a topic, despite physical evidence to the contrary, because that information pathway was set hard through repetition.  Religions, politicians, war propagandists, and the msm use this trick all the time to imprint their ideas into our permanent memory. 

On the short trip between my sister's house and mine, we often talk about similar topics:. The journey being more important than the destination,  how the way you tackle challenges and adversities that come our way is far more important than the results, and de Coubertin's maxim on sportsmanship.  We often see that "winning", that all important American obsession,  is often pyrrhic. 

Better for us that we face difficulties with good grace and humour, able to meet our maker with a clear conscience (if such a thing is possible), and have the courage to express our convictions in the way we live our own lives. That conviction includes not participating in a foul and thoroughly corrupt system that seems to teeter on the verge of collapse with every passing day. So I envy your courage CD, and your foresight in the way you live by example.

If you see a car following you on one of your journeys,  don't be afraid.  That would be me practicing my Douglas Adams method of navigation and following someone who seems to know where he is going. 

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 23:39 | 4292415 Seer
Seer's picture

Hey!  Excellent post!

repetitive behaviour sets the connections between the neurons, until the pathways are so dominant it is close to impossible to change them

It's an ego trap.  Seek solid traits and hold them.  But in other things be willing to let them go as freely as they entered into your life, as one should never look to hold on to something false/wrong.  I suppose this is what this quote means:

"In matters of style swim with the current; in matters of principle stand like a rock,"

- Thomas Jefferson

 

 We often see that "winning", that all important American obsession,  is often pyrrhic.

I never get tired of this line from the movie White Men Can't Jump (sometimes one can find pearls in turds):

"Sometimes when you win, you really lose; and sometimes when you lose, you really win; and sometimes when you lose or win, you actually tie. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs."

- Gloria (Rosie Perez)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:52 | 4290624 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Thank you for your feedback.

"So I envy your courage CD, and your foresight in the way you live by example."

I'm not sure if it's courage I display or just quiet desperation to change something, anything, before I'm swallowed whole by the machine. I do know one thing for sure. My best efforts got me no where that I could find peace and happiness, so it was time to try something new. It can't be much worse than where I've been.

As I journey I'll keep an eye on the rear view mirror for you my friend. :-)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:07 | 4290608 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

oooops

wrong thread :)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:07 | 4290611 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Next time take a right instead of a left when you get out of bed. :)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 08:11 | 4290575 ebear
Wed, 01/01/2014 - 08:35 | 4290588 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I was wondering where the hell Matt was. Thanks for the update.

And it's been a while since I heard the B-52's. Mrs. Cog says "Great hair."

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 08:09 | 4290571 Moonrise
Moonrise's picture

Your wise input is always much appreciated. Happy new year, CD.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 08:27 | 4290581 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Thank you. Much more coming now that I'm officially retired and out of the 'bidness'.

<However it might take a few years for the stench to dissipate."

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 06:48 | 4290545 ebear
ebear's picture

Wherever you go, there you are.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 23:22 | 4292391 Seer
Seer's picture

Inspired by the book title "Want What You Have," - "Be where you are." -me (look around you, look at all the people who are anywhere but where they really are)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:42 | 4290729 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

It is as simple as that.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 06:43 | 4290537 lakecity55
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I love driving that route up 81. You can get over to Skyline Drive and go along the ridgetop.

My home turf is in WNC between Hendersonville and Asheville.

The old Bluesman, Lightnin Hopkins once said "There's Nothing like the Rocky Mountains," and that's true, but the Blue Ridge is Home.

Left turn or right turn, you're already There.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 03:56 | 4290483 stant
stant's picture

about 250 to 300 miles west  you would run into me. when i pop over the last hill out of town drivig toward our old home place the sight never stops a big smile. godspeed in the new year to you and yours cog and all at zh

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:22 | 4290615 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Considering my (still thick) Yankee accent and outgoing manner, something I expected would put off many people up here on the mountain, I have been received very warmly. They still look at me kinda funny and they're amused by my strange ways. But they seem to have quickly determined that I'm for the most part harmless and join right in with my jokes and laughter with little prompting.

Godspeed to you stant.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 13:53 | 4291000 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

have they taught you new tricks?

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 14:05 | 4291034 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Constantly learning from the locals, mostly by silently watching. Always interested in seeing how the local farmers deal with life on limited resources. Pretty smart people live in these parts. But the average "city people" would take one look and label them dumb based upon their clothes or speech.

We have a neighbor down the road a piece who comes from a long family line that have lived on these lands for many generations. He's the quiet type, but when he speak he speaks volumes. No wasted words, except those needed to convey deep meaning.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 23:23 | 4292388 Seer
Seer's picture

"Always interested in seeing how the local farmers deal with life on limited resources. Pretty smart people live in these parts."

It's a universal.

The smartest folks I've run across are grass farmers... it's the future.  I'm not smart enough, but I am smart enough to point in the direction (for others to follow).  But I always look at those around me hustling to get by and I am impressed.

Do the best that you can, in the place where you are, and be kind. - Scott Nearing

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 15:05 | 4291155 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

funny you should mention that. Elliot Coleman, a pretty accomplished gardner, says the same thing about the people of upper Maine. Less is more, more or less. I have tripped upon this Irish version of the city transplant. She left London after her childhood friend, living the big life with British Airways, suddenly collapsed and died and she realized there must be something more.      

http://bealtainecottage.com/

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 16:01 | 4291260 Mrs. Cog
Mrs. Cog's picture

Great link Davey. I fell into it for almost an hour. :-)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 18:20 | 4291292 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

"all we ever do our entire lives is go from one piece of holy ground to another" - JD Salinger

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 16:09 | 4291283 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

my pleasure

I found her through this interview, it's a good one. all sorts of subjects including living under the radar

http://www.digitalpodcast.com/feeds/45474-from-alpha-to-omega?page=4

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 03:45 | 4290479 KTV Escort
KTV Escort's picture

A portion of my life was recently spent exploring China. After breakfast I'd head out from my hotel, each day in a new direction, walk for one hour, then return using different roads. Great way to discover hidden gems and slices of life that I hadn't expected.

I'm going to toss out a link, I was intrigued enough in reading his autobiography to follow up, and got more than I bargained for in return. Remember, molecules are dumb. A mere 8 billion years of random collisions and chemical reactions did not produce the ultra high tech features and functions of our bodies/mind... these were researched and developed over eons of time.

http://www.yogananda.com.au/g/g_medulla.html

I'm not keen on any "scriptural" teachings, but am able to humble myself to the fact that God swims in the cell

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 23:13 | 4292372 Seer
Seer's picture

My way of thinking is that as soon as one attempts to describe the undescribeable with words the meaning is pretty much lost.

I could look at all the religous scholars and smile.  There.  Enough.

That is well said, replied Candide, but we must cultivate our garden.

-Voltaire [Francois-Marie Arouet] Candide

Tue, 12/31/2013 - 23:51 | 4290301 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I was wondering what happened to my bench.

All roads lead to home...

Happy New Year to you and Mrs Cog!

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 00:42 | 4290364 Mrs. Cog
Mrs. Cog's picture

A very Happy 2014 to you Banzai.

One of the characteristics I find most charming about Cog is that he appears to be Dr. Dolittle with the animals. I swear even the cows hang on his every word. Now that we"re on the mountain, it turns out he speaks fluent tree as well. Priceless.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 05:23 | 4290505 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Take him in for observation if he starts conversing with rocks.

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 07:29 | 4290559 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Speaking of rocks, Mrs. Cog is the only person I know who puts rocks IN her garden. Some of the native rock around here is white with splashes and streaks of Mica. Very pretty. Looks like PMs are growing in the garden after the rain washes them off.

I have banished her rocks to a border around a center 15 x 15 square area. As a native New Englander who swore rocks grew in the garden and was always pulling them out in the spring, it drives me crazy that she actually puts them in. ;-)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:19 | 4290616 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

new years' gift for the cogs:

Bread From Stones 

(caution : PDF but from a trusty source)

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 13:51 | 4290996 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

nice. thanks

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 09:49 | 4290619 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Excellent. Both Mrs. Cog and I downloaded it and added it to our winter reading list.

Thank you

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 08:35 | 4290587 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Wed, 01/01/2014 - 11:22 | 4290693 Uncle Remus
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Nice.

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