• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

WHooPie KeRRY...

williambanzai7's picture


This bloviating bag of gaseous humdrum is a consummate loser. According to the script, he is supposed to be busy playing Neocon Tony Atlas in the Ukraine. Instead he is busy pronating himself before his Israeli masters. Called to the carpet for daring to imply Israel's treatment of Palestinians is a form of apartheid.


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Tue, 04/29/2014 - 21:17 | 4710308 Goldilocks
Tue, 04/29/2014 - 21:10 | 4710279 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 22:27 | 4710583 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


"THAT is the largest clitoris I have ever seen."


"Hmm-mmm Yeah, yeah, it's like a mud-flap on his crotch!"


"Yeah. A CROTCHAL mud-flap! Whoa..."


Hmmm-mmm! Where do you think he BALLS are? Hmmm...hmm..."


"They're up his ASS, dude. GOD, you are such a douche-bag!"

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 22:11 | 4710518 booboo
booboo's picture

Ugh, please for the chilens sake turn that dress around and by the way, no self respecting share cropper would fuck his mule facing it.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 19:58 | 4710020 Grouchy Marx
Grouchy Marx's picture

Wouldn't Kerry and Biden make an awesome comedy duo?

They both crack me up.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 19:53 | 4710000 JimboJammer
JimboJammer's picture

he  is  not  a  Leader  of  Men ..... . . not  at  all. . .

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 19:48 | 4709980 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Something about Kerry's posture, and his facial expression, and that far away look in his eyes suggests that he's struggling to slice one right into the Whoopie Cushion.  Anyone who's ever had infant children knows exactly what I mean. 

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 22:14 | 4710527 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture


HENCE, the nickname 'FART-FACE' (probably first coined when recieving the multiple penises in the coffin at the Skull and Bones initiation).


'You rang?'

Yeah, Lurch has a way with words, don't he?


Tue, 04/29/2014 - 19:15 | 4709846 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

WB7: duuuuude

"according to the script, he is supposed to be busy playing Neocon Tony Atlas in the Ukraine."

let'z see: neo-conz are formerly jewish formerly democratz formerly liberal formerly communistz.  That requires commitment on several levels.

None of which my former Senator has ever exhibited in his pusilaminous (sp?) life.

Start me not.

- Ned

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 22:10 | 4710513 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Neo-cons have never been FORMERLY anything. They simply renamed themselves so that you wouldn't notice.

Oh yeah, some apparatchiks ARE calling themselves 'Republican'. McCain, for example.


The last page in this dotPDF gives a roster of a list of them:


Tony Atlas:


John kerry:



Seriously, they can't let a black man continue without being 'in charge' of him, now; can they? Forgive me for the usage. I meant 'A MULLATO'.


Tue, 04/29/2014 - 18:34 | 4709716 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Off topic but concerning 'news' aka Donald Sterling and his raciss talk. Kareem Adbul-Jabbar lit into everyone over this. Good op ed piece pointing out hypocrisy on all sides here.


The NBA players, media, and grievance mongers such as Al Sharpton are up in arms over vile L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s alleged racist remarks. But NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar today said a pox on both your houses – calling out the hypocrisy behind the whole affair and presenting by far the most rounded  – and surprisingly libertarian — view thus far.

Abdul-Jabbar, in an op-ed piece in TIME attacked the collective outrage emanating from America’s media over Sterling’s aremarks to his girlfriend, calling the publication of a private conversation “sleazy” and wondering why earlier, more public manifestations of racism failed to shock those such as Al Sharpton, and the NAACP.

Abdul-Jabbar explains that we’re witnessing a veritable “finger-wagging Olympics . . . all over the latest in a long line of rich white celebrities to come out of the racist closet.”

“Yes, I’m angry, too,” Abdul-Jabbar admits, “but not just about the sins of Donald Sterling. I’ve got a list.”

That list includes Sterling’s girlfriend, V. Stiviano, whose voice is heard on the racially-loaded tape and who likely set the Clippers’ owner up.

“Man, what a winding road she led him down to get all of that out,” he mocked. “She was like a sexy nanny playing ‘pin the fried chicken on the Sambo.’ She blindfolded him and spun him around until he was just blathering all sorts of incoherent racist sound bites that had the news media peeing themselves with glee.”

And speaking of the news media? “They caught big game on a slow news day,” Abdul-Jabbar explained, “so they put his head on a pike, dubbed him Lord of the Flies, and danced around him whooping.”

The former NBA all-star, who played for the Milwaukee Bucks and L.A. Lakers from 1969 to 1989, has no sympathy for Sterling. But he is upset that everyone is acting so surprised, noting that the NBA owner has said offensive comments in the past and has been sued over both housing and employment discrimination.

The NAACP “did nothing” after Sterling was forced to pay a staggering $3 million fine for denying housing to Blacks, saying they “smell, and attract vermin,” Abdul-Jabbar noted. They were even going to present Sterling with an NAACP award on May 15th, with the Rev. Al Sharpton on hand. “Suddenly he says he doesn’t want his girlfriend posing with Magic Johnson on Instagram and we bring out the torches and rope. Shouldn’t we have all called for his resignation back then?

Abdul-Jabbar is correct, but it is worse than that. The NAACP accepted multiple grants from the Donald T. Sterling Charitable Foundation and handed Sterling several “image awards” — despite full knowledge of his prior, massive fine for discrimination against Blacks in his slumlord housing.

Abdul-Jabbar, perhaps channeling his closet libertarianism, also blasted the fact that Sterling’s private conversation — however racist — was suddenly broadcast nationwide.

“Didn’t we just call to task the NSA for intruding into American citizen’s privacy in such an un-American way?” he asked, comparing the secret tape-recording to Mitt Romney’s embarrassing 47 percent remark, recorded without the then-candidate’s knowledge.

“The making and release of this tape is so sleazy that just listening to it makes me feel like an accomplice to the crime,” Abdul-Jabbar fumed. “We didn’t steal the cake but we’re all gorging ourselves on it.”

“So, if we’re all going to be outraged,” the former NBA star wrapped up, “let’s be outraged that we weren’t more outraged when his racism was first evident. Let’s be outraged that private conversations between people in an intimate relationship are recorded and publicly played. Let’s be outraged that whoever did the betraying will probably get a book deal, a sitcom, trade recipes with Hoda and Kathie Lee, and soon appear on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ and ‘Dancing with the Stars.’”



Tue, 04/29/2014 - 20:15 | 4710065 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

I have been waiting for someone to publicly raise the issue of the recording, which is a crime as far as I know.

So it is ok for everyone to tape private conversations now and sell them to TMZ, Mr Holder?

Rather ironically, the name of the NBA official in charge of deciding Sterlings fate, is Silver.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 22:23 | 4710559 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

they shouted the SD mayor out of office over charges of sexist behavior. it seems to be a disease on the left coast. make an allegation and then demand the resignation, (don't bother to connect the dots) or in this case that the legal owner of a business sell his business (call it eminent domain) with no evidence of discrimination. ( i dont like the president is that a crime? - just because he is black?) and i certainly dont like the culture potus brings, is that a crime either? cambridge prof, etc?) the common deonominator thus far is lining up OLD WHITE MEN to take the fall. well aint that easy

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 22:03 | 4710491 Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

Sterling---------Silver, nice observation there William. The MSM directors must be musing about that little coincidence.

I had the same thoughts about the recording of the phone call. Wasn;t there a house speaker that got his cell phone call in Florida recorded, blew his speakership, but the kid got prison??

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 19:51 | 4709994 john39
john39's picture

Kareem ran with Bruce Lee, so he has to be solid:


Tue, 04/29/2014 - 18:32 | 4709713 herbivore
herbivore's picture

I think you meant 'prostrating', not 'pronating'

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 20:06 | 4710049 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

This means I need to run more.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 21:02 | 4710232 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture
WB7, look at the origin. You're actually correct. pro·nate   [proh-neyt] Show IPA verb (used with object), pro·nat·ed, pro·nat·ing.
to turn into a prone position; to rotate (the hand or forearm) so that the surface of the palm is downward or toward the back; to turn (the sole of the foot) outward so that the inner edge of the foot bears the weight when standing. 2.
(in vertebrates) to rotate (any limb or joint) in a similar manner. verb (used without object), pro·nat·ed, pro·nat·ing.
to become pronated. Origin:
1830–40;  < Late Latin pr?n?tus,  past participle of pr?n?re  to bend forward, derivative of Latin pr?nus;  see prone1 , -ate1
He is assuming the prone position before his masters; he is prostating himself, he is bending forward (bending over while standing). Palms down on the desk, feet spread and planted, ass sticking out... PRONATED and PREPARED for a PROSTATE PROBING... Your usage is archaic but correct.
Tue, 04/29/2014 - 21:56 | 4710463 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Archaic but correct...that's me ;-)

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 17:01 | 4709412 Soul Glow
Soul Glow's picture

Kerry is fucked.  

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 16:43 | 4709342 Personality Disorder
Personality Disorder's picture

At least Disguised like this, he has a better chance to suck ass

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 16:39 | 4709328 LawyerScum
LawyerScum's picture

is it just my imagination or are our "leaders"  becoming logarithmically more retarded? 

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 16:19 | 4709248 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

The Eleventh Commandment: 


Tue, 04/29/2014 - 16:07 | 4709209 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the horses of war.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 16:35 | 4709285 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

The Bard, the real one, Edward de Vere, not the semi-literate actor, wrote,

"Let slip the dogs of war."  Julius Caesar, Act (sabe dios, I used to have a mind)

You of all people, should know that, pup.  Your peeps;)


Tue, 04/29/2014 - 18:23 | 4709687 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous cabinet officials,

We few, we happy few, we band of Lowbrows,

Know that which we call a horse

By any other name

Would look, and smell, like Kerry. ;)

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 18:26 | 4709694 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Only a few mixed metaphors,

  but methinks we have a winner;)

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 15:22 | 4709035 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

If John Kerry were drowning, NOBODY would save him.

(he can use the whoopie cushion as a life raft.)

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 16:20 | 4709251 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

I'd throw him a bucket of hammers;)

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 20:41 | 4710165 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Waste of good tools. How about a big freakin' rock instead?

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 14:10 | 4708767 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Skull and Bones Kohn... he keeps popping up just when you thought he was gonna relax and milk his ugly wife's $$

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:42 | 4708630 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

Morticia - that's what I like about Lurch - he is so persuasive.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:36 | 4708588 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

The only way I would ever rest my piles on that is if it had a large circular hole with water on top of it and a distance separating me from "it" of more than 10 inches...

Otherwise superb job!

Here is some more news coming from the whoopie cushion and his side-kick Uncle "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt" Remus

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:36 | 4708586 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

gerald ford used to fart and blame it on the secret service guys. he could have used Kerry. oh that was me, no problem, we went to el torito for lunch.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:22 | 4708502 RocketmanBob
RocketmanBob's picture

Great commentary on the noxious emanations of Kerry...

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:19 | 4708492 john39
john39's picture

Shame on you John Kerry.  way too much truth...  kinda like this irreverant piece of performance art, "The Holocaust's visit to Yad Vashem":


yeah, she is probably crazy... but hard to argue with the points she raises...

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:17 | 4708476 Never_Put_Down
Never_Put_Down's picture

these guys are loaded weapons when not in front of a Zionist approved teleprompter

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:28 | 4708498 john39
john39's picture

do you have any idea how hard it is to keep all those lies straight when you say anything about the ME?  without a script or a teleprompter, unpossible.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:13 | 4708451 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

yeah he slipped up and said something close to the truth, that isn't going to sit well. kerry will say something about israeli security in a few days in diplomatic atonement, bet on it.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:45 | 4708652 BigJim
BigJim's picture

They should have sent in Biden


Tue, 04/29/2014 - 14:05 | 4708744 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Yeah, Joe can get away with saying anything!

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 20:19 | 4710086 nmewn
nmewn's picture

And get away with it, good ole Crazy Uncle Joe:

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean..."

Yeah, so clearly the political thing to do at that point is, pick ole Joe as your running mate, making you unimpeachable...a Faustian/Hobson's choice for the prosecutor if there ever was one...lol.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:11 | 4708443 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Got his wires crossed and told the truth.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 20:25 | 4710108 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

It's difficult to say what happened here, chest thumping and back peddling or blabber mouth.

Surely, a diplomat should know the impact of using that word in the context of Israel. There has been plenty of controversy about it. So either he meant what he said and retreated or he has verbal diarrhea, two distinct possibilities.

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 20:31 | 4710128 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Verbal diarrhea is consistent with shit-for-brains . . .

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 13:10 | 4708438 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

JOhn KErry .......JOKE

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 17:33 | 4709542 Ying-Yang
Ying-Yang's picture

WilliamBanzai7... this one's for you!

A Goose That Lays Golden Eggs

A hand-powered 'kitchen gadget' that magically scrambles an egg without breaking or penetrating the shell.


I figured you could find away to use this new material, in a creative way... wink

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 19:58 | 4710021 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

That Golden Goose thing actually looks like a great idea!  Thanks for posting this. 

Tue, 04/29/2014 - 20:37 | 4710151 Prisoners_dilemna
Prisoners_dilemna's picture

I had to show the wifey. Now she can't say I waste all my time reading "that one site".

Totally unrelated to the original topic but it does involve vortices.



Tue, 04/29/2014 - 21:27 | 4710350 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

Careful, here. You're getting too 'intellectual'.

I saw this same modeling some years ago. It is truly fascinating to comprehend a larger part of the actual truth. I could spend hours and hours on this subject (but I won't, because this is ZeroHedge, a FINANCIAL blog, for fuck sakes).

Let me get you back on track regarding a post that you think is 'totally unrelated'. You are incorrect, and I'll show you why:

If the solar system is a vortex (much like spinning water as it goes down the bowl towards the sewage system), then I would have to say that it's the big FLUSH, and we're on the rim.

KERRY, however, intends to leave a swirl or two to mark his passage (double entendre' implied). He is simply a swirled brown Lurch-stain on the porcelin, I suppose (much like Moochelle, the chimp-wife, and her 'whirled peas'). 'I'm John kerry, and I'm reporting for DOODIE', or something.

THERE. Back to the original subject of flatulence (implying a bowel movement that is impending) and Kerry's mouth... Would you call this 'circular logic', or is it more of a VORTEX? I'd appreciate a courtesy flush, at least.


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