williambanzai7's picture



BANZAI7 NEWS--A FISHERMAN got the shock of his life when he hauled in a giant, prehistoric-looking TBTF snapping douche turtle while out catfishing.

Oklahoma man Don Hurl was fishing when the 45kg snapping douche grabbed his line. With the help of friend Kenneth Lay, he reeled it in and hauled the creature into the boat.

A stunned-looking Hurl posed for photos with the snapping douche, which are also known as “statist shit-for-brainers” because of their large heads.

They were then ordered by Attorney General Eric Holder to release the massive snapping shit for brainer back into the water unharmed.

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UP4Liberty's picture

Hey WB7 - on a tangentially related musical note...check out the Chilis's version of "Yurtle the Turtle":


Whoever is playing the sax is killin' it...

Thanks for the funny artwork...glad I was not drinking some coffee...cheers!

rosiescenario's picture

Looks like it has a fat tail..........

Bastiat's picture

William, show some respect: snapping turtles were here before dinosaurs.

Jeffrey Lebowski's picture

Fucking awesome !...now on to bliley and leach

Stud Duck's picture

William, I  have one of those in my creek out back that is twice as big as that one!  When she goes in heat there is at least 5 males the same size as that one trying to mount her! 

She has a nest under a large  sycamore tree that she lays her eggs in, the grandsons get a real treat when I take them down and "play" with her. Her head is larger than a soft ball, and she can get real agressive when her young hatch!

Great job, as always, keep pouring it too 'em!

williambanzai7's picture

The notion of a world record is something PT Barnum understood well...

BeetleBailey's picture

Looks like that cunt Phil Gramm mid-douche WB

Yen Cross's picture


    I can't stop laughing! Between the comments and the picture you guys made my day!

    It's been close 100 degrees here on the left coast all week and fires have been burning all around me.  This was really refreshing Billy.

kurt's picture

What's the difference between a snapping turtle and a lawyer?

dontgoforit's picture

Turtles's got more empathy and can't work for the government.

novictim's picture

Now, now Bonzai!

You should at least wait 90 days before you can acknowledge the obvious fact that *the* Yellen is a "team player".

Set your egg timer!

Comte d'herblay's picture

At first I thought it was Phill Gramm, of the notoriously infamous Gramm, Leach, Bliley Corrupt Practices Made Legal Act by destroying the barrier between private investment companies and banks, and okayed by none other than that liberal financial maven, William Fefferson Clinton. 



Too bad with rare exception that our biggest criminals are permitted by mass media to slip off into oblivion with their fraudulently obtained stolen from the people wealth. 


Terrists, you know not what you do, who to wipe off the face of the earth. 

kchrisc's picture

It'll still fit in my guillotine.

Creepy Lurker's picture


Chris, when the SHTF, I wanna party with you. Promise me I can pull the lever on some of them!

the grateful unemployed's picture

we need ernie the turtleman to run for office. that guy is unbelievable, he drives over to your house, catches a wild animal in your pond or barn, (without killling it) and then releases it into the wild, and for that he charges maybe $50 ?? of which he has to share half with his partner. wow that kentucky economy is really down there. he's the opposite of corrupt.

Mi Naem's picture

Turdle soup. 

...with an RFID tag on its left foreclaw?

Laughinggrizzley's picture

I hope that's not a BLM swamp that guy is fishing!

g'kar's picture

North end of a south bound toitle.


100 LB sack-o-shit!

Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Ah yes the subspecies of "Grahamis-Macrochelys"?...

Probably the "ugliest fucking snapping turtle" known to the indigenous Northeast region of Texas and is known to migrate and adapt as far East as the Potomac River in Maryland and Virginia. Just look at the face of the guy who caught it?!!!

Highly destructive to not only it's own species but other species and their habitats as well.

Well done again Tyler!

DeadFred's picture

Be careful. Those suckers are dangerous!

optimator's picture

When we were kids we'd shoot them in the water with a .22.  They'd bounce right off the sloped armor shell!!

tnquake's picture

Taste like Chicken... SH!T!