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BANZAI7 NEWS--A FISHERMAN got the shock of his life when he hauled in a giant, prehistoric-looking TBTF snapping douche turtle while out catfishing.

Oklahoma man Don Hurl was fishing when the 45kg snapping douche grabbed his line. With the help of friend Kenneth Lay, he reeled it in and hauled the creature into the boat.

A stunned-looking Hurl posed for photos with the snapping douche, which are also known as “statist shit-for-brainers” because of their large heads.

They were then ordered by Attorney General Eric Holder to release the massive snapping shit for brainer back into the water unharmed.

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Fri, 05/16/2014 - 15:39 | 4767473 UP4Liberty
UP4Liberty's picture

Hey WB7 - on a tangentially related musical note...check out the Chilis's version of "Yurtle the Turtle":


Whoever is playing the sax is killin' it...

Thanks for the funny artwork...glad I was not drinking some coffee...cheers!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 14:04 | 4767122 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Looks like it has a fat tail..........

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 13:17 | 4766974 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

William, show some respect: snapping turtles were here before dinosaurs.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 13:24 | 4766991 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

And they will be long after

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 13:32 | 4767011 dirty belly
Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:55 | 4766936 Jeffrey Lebowski
Jeffrey Lebowski's picture

Fucking awesome !...now on to bliley and leach

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:24 | 4766862 Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

William, I  have one of those in my creek out back that is twice as big as that one!  When she goes in heat there is at least 5 males the same size as that one trying to mount her! 

She has a nest under a large  sycamore tree that she lays her eggs in, the grandsons get a real treat when I take them down and "play" with her. Her head is larger than a soft ball, and she can get real agressive when her young hatch!

Great job, as always, keep pouring it too 'em!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 13:15 | 4766971 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

The notion of a world record is something PT Barnum understood well...

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 15:09 | 4767372 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

Looks like that cunt Phil Gramm mid-douche WB

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:19 | 4766844 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture


    I can't stop laughing! Between the comments and the picture you guys made my day!

    It's been close 100 degrees here on the left coast all week and fires have been burning all around me.  This was really refreshing Billy.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:15 | 4766831 kurt
kurt's picture

What's the difference between a snapping turtle and a lawyer?

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:25 | 4766865 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Turtles's got more empathy and can't work for the government.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:04 | 4766788 novictim
novictim's picture

Now, now Bonzai!

You should at least wait 90 days before you can acknowledge the obvious fact that *the* Yellen is a "team player".

Set your egg timer!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 11:46 | 4766716 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

At first I thought it was Phill Gramm, of the notoriously infamous Gramm, Leach, Bliley Corrupt Practices Made Legal Act by destroying the barrier between private investment companies and banks, and okayed by none other than that liberal financial maven, William Fefferson Clinton. 



Too bad with rare exception that our biggest criminals are permitted by mass media to slip off into oblivion with their fraudulently obtained stolen from the people wealth. 


Terrists, you know not what you do, who to wipe off the face of the earth. 

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 11:07 | 4766567 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

It'll still fit in my guillotine.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:07 | 4766801 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture


Chris, when the SHTF, I wanna party with you. Promise me I can pull the lever on some of them!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 11:00 | 4766533 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

we need ernie the turtleman to run for office. that guy is unbelievable, he drives over to your house, catches a wild animal in your pond or barn, (without killling it) and then releases it into the wild, and for that he charges maybe $50 ?? of which he has to share half with his partner. wow that kentucky economy is really down there. he's the opposite of corrupt.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 10:31 | 4766400 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Turdle soup. 

...with an RFID tag on its left foreclaw?

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 10:19 | 4766347 Laughinggrizzley
Laughinggrizzley's picture

I hope that's not a BLM swamp that guy is fishing!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 10:03 | 4766290 g'kar
g'kar's picture

North end of a south bound toitle.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 09:49 | 4766217 ALANBEEKMAN

100 LB sack-o-shit!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 09:46 | 4766204 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

Ah yes the subspecies of "Grahamis-Macrochelys"?...

Probably the "ugliest fucking snapping turtle" known to the indigenous Northeast region of Texas and is known to migrate and adapt as far East as the Potomac River in Maryland and Virginia. Just look at the face of the guy who caught it?!!!

Highly destructive to not only it's own species but other species and their habitats as well.

Well done again Tyler!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 10:25 | 4766379 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Be careful. Those suckers are dangerous!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 10:44 | 4766452 optimator
optimator's picture

When we were kids we'd shoot them in the water with a .22.  They'd bounce right off the sloped armor shell!!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 10:47 | 4766463 tnquake
tnquake's picture

Taste like Chicken... SH!T!

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 09:31 | 4766139 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Bottom feeder.

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 09:25 | 4766100 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

Blast from the Past

Fri, 05/16/2014 - 12:28 | 4766873 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I like turtles.

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