williambanzai7's picture






The LTRO is a crane

Attached to an opposite train

Will this sucker go?

Do snakes like the snow?

Are Greeks now enjoying their pain?

The Limerick King






Mario's looking quite strong

Expansion he needs to prolong

His NIRP won't prevail

It's likely to fail

The tool that he's using is wrong

The Limerick King




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Orwell was right's picture

I read the "Week in Doom"....starts with George Carlin quote, then seques into an anti-gun article about automatic weapons and "mass killing machines".     Bullshit of the highest order..

janus's picture

pardon me, WildBill, but i'm gonna have to change the subject...far too many dildos for my taste tonight. 

no shit, i turn off the television for one reason and one reason alone -- dildos -- log onto the interwebs to see what y'all are up to on the Hedge (thinking, naturally, that this would be safe and dildo-free zone), only to be confronted with more dildos. 

{i don't know what's become of the world...one minute i've left a channel on for two minutes after the show i tuned in for has rolled credits, and the next it's a montage of dildos with some fifty-something 'cougar' giving forty-something losers a lesson in applying a condom to a dildo with her mouth (with special tips on securing an air-tight seal!); and then, to add injury to insult, i'm walloped with yet another dildo from WildBill...and then another -- in lassie's mouth, no less!}

right, so, let's be done with the dildos once and for all; at least for the rest of this day.  my muses are repelled at the sight of dildos anyway; muses are fundamentally romanitc, and right-wise prefer the carnal janus to the polymer imposter. 

last time i heard from my muse, it was to warn me offa the grave and injurious crime of statutory eye-contact.  statutory eye-contact is committed whenever one such as janus establishes a semi-leering sorta eye-contact with a teenager of the fairer sex.  i forbid myself from ever doing such...no, really, i do.  because, whenever i void my own forbiddance and give into the temptation to establish a semi-leering sorta eye-contact with a teenager, i feel awful for it.  the guilt resulting from statutory eye-contact only sets in after about a half hour; before that, it's difficult to realize that you've committed a crime.  but you have.

i bring all this up because it relates to another topic i've been brooding over: patriotism.  now, before i get into patriotism (which i probably won't...this story will require at least a few paragraphs, and i've already written quite a bit), i wanted to tell the story of my meeting with an american patriot -- and i promise to immediately tie-in the whole statutory eye-contact motif.

so, a couple weeks ago, i get a call to go and pick up some dough (money, that is), take it to a japaneese place, exchange it for some tempura shrimp, take the shrimp back to the original address and to the total add the cab fare.

wouldn't you know it, in comes my muse, "janus, avert your eyes!...a teenager openeth the door."  goddamit if my muse wasn't right.  out steps this blonde, like, sixteen years old, fresh from the shower, dripping with sin.  no statutory eye-contact for me, thank you very much!  not only would i not make eye-contact, i wouldn't hardly acknowledge her existence.  pretending to inspect the woodwork moldings along the porch, i asked if her parents were home...VERY disaffectedly -- totally disaffectedly.


anyway, eventually there's this cool-cat who looks like he's just emerged from a conversation i'd like to be part of, and he asks me how much it'll be...i tell him his guess is as good as mine...he says it's his wife's order and he's just getting filled in...we take some time to chat about wives and how they need to get their stories straight, and other ways in which they could stand a bit of improvement...he then hands over the cash to cover his most extravagant estimate.

on my way to get the tempura, i was phoned by one of my colleagues:

cabbie-colleague: "janus,you like beeah don-cha?"

janus: "2-9 (that's his number), you know my feelings for beer...'like' is a word that won't quite do."

2-9: "whatevah, that address you just picked up at...that's the owner of sam adams."

janus: "no shit.  well, that changes everything...now i'm gonna have to actually marry into that family...blondes, beer, patriots...what's not to love?"

2-9: "whatevah, look, just don't ask to be tipped in beeah" 

2-9 then rambled on about his own mistake in asking sam adams to tip him with beer.  in all fairness, it is a bit cliche to ask sam adams for a beer-tip; and, in spite of this, i'm glad 2-9 warned me -- as i entertained the idea of doing just that.

i returned with the tempura, having eaten only a third or so of it on the way back.  thankfully, sam adams protected me from a potential charge of statutory eye-contact and met me at the door (no, really, i was very relieved to keep from further eye-averting).  i then told him that i was onto him...that i knew his secret identity...and thanked him for brewing one hell of a beer.

as those things go, i admitted to him that i only drank sam adams about a third of the time -- mostly i was into sierra nevada (great beer, and sam likewise admitted as much).  even so, since our meeting, it's been all sam adams for janus.  call me sentimental. 

there was no beer-tip, but there was a generous tip.  i am also now on first name basis with sam adams.  now, i came to boston as an olde-school patriot; and i suppose there's some symmetry to my meeting sam adams as i near the end of my boston story.  

i was thinking about putting this anecdote in the book...i still may, but i'm concerned that someone may try and charge me with statutory eye-contact.  cant' have that.







centerline's picture

Thanks.  Hitting on similar experiences here.  lol.

BeetleBailey's picture

Janus...you need to start being featured on here....+1,000

ebworthen's picture

Thanks janus, enjoyed reading this.

Yes, a very good beer, and still owned and brewed in the U.S.A.

Yeah, avert your eyes, and the third eye and lesser brain; nothing but trouble.  Prost!

ebworthen's picture

That's right, we'll CHARGE YOU for depositing your money with us!

Winning!  Is there a "Breaking Bad" Economics prize for pushing fudiciary crack?

J.H.C.!!!  I can't believe people smoke this stuff and trudge off to work and keep paying their bills!

This is THEFT!  Plain and simple THEFT of your labor, your savings, your responsibility, your LIFE!!!

Wake up people!  Storm the Bastille!  Burn Brussels!  Explode Eccles-Marriner and the FED and the creature from Jekyll Island!!!

MeelionDollerBogus's picture

the knights that say Ni shall do mortal combat with the Nits that say NIRP!

machineh's picture

Excuse me, it's KNIRP: Know Nothing Interest Rate Policy.

Got stocks?

ebworthen's picture

Thanks for that Goldilocks, classic.

My other favorite that applies here:  AC/DC - "All Hail Caesar"


BeetleBailey's picture

William..your work reaches new heights....

Why you are not picked up and carried by "news" services worldwide is beyond me....the world could use a daily laugh....

But oh yeah....the world media is bought off and neutered....my bad.


williambanzai7's picture

Truth has nothing to do with any MSM outlet.

TheBigComic's picture

I had the best laugh when I reached Bennie as Mao. Your comics rock. I had to login just to say so.

RocketmanBob's picture

Though I'm fairly certain that I'm far outside of the target demographic, I have to say that I found this movie to be outstanding.