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When the Time Comes Will We Be Able to Forgive?
When the Time Comes Will We Be Able to Forgive?
By
Cognitive Dissonance
How do we live with that soul numbing pain we all know so well, but desperately wish to forget? You know what I’m talking about, the kind of inner pain that cuts a wide swath through our soul and then leaves us vacant and drained. It’s so much easier to be the hard ass, first with ourselves and then with all the others. You can’t be hurt by what you don’t let in, so let’s just raise our shields and hate those bastards because…...because they deserve it, that’s why. Of course, there’s always a special place in my personal hell for a few select psychopaths who deserve my best, most exceptional rage.
The thing is, though, when we finally lay splayed upon the floor exhausted from our hating labors, we still remain unsated and thoroughly dissatisfied. It is only then that we comprehend that we are all that we have left to abhor. Trust me on this one; those are the really ugly hate hangovers, the ones that spring from our own self loathing and disgust, along with our unabashed anger at the cruel world and those who we can single out for special hatred. Come on, we can admit it. We are all so very angry, furious even, at what the sociopaths have dealt us this time around. None the less, here we are. Or soon enough will be. So what are we going to do?
I suspect some of us are sitting smug as a bug thinking that we really aren’t all that angry, just plenty pissed off and loaded for bear. And that might well be the case, at least for now anyway. But just wait until the really shocking stuff is exposed, because the ass hat parade hasn’t even begun to march down Main Street. And between you and me, those stupid little clown cars, the irritating enablers and sycophants, are really going to irritate me to no end when they start to whine. Then what will we do?
I’ll tell you what we do; either we forgive them or we will be consumed by them. Either we dismiss them from our mind with an open and honest heart or we will be owned by them lock, stock and barrel. The choice is up to us and no one else, because at this point we are just renting space in our heads to those little bastards and it is slowly eating us alive. Sure, maybe for now the rented space is just closet sized and free of charge. But when the fecal matter hits several hundred million spinning minds there is going to be giant sized outrage and then the rent rapidly rises from free to mental and emotional slavery.
Forgiving someone or something certainly doesn’t mean forgetting what has been done. Nor does forgiving mean we should let ‘them’ off without punishment or sentence. And I definitely didn’t say a thing about turning the cheek. Nope, I said nothing of the sort. Forgiving is all about giving us permission to let go of all the hate, anger and bile that has been building for years, decades even. Forgiving is about evicting the demons that have occupied our mind for so long that we no longer know where we end and they begin. Forgiving them is all about forgiving ourselves.
Speaking from personal experience and only about me, when it came time for me to forgive I no longer knew how. I didn’t have it in me precisely when I most urgently needed to know how to forgive others so that I could forgive myself. I hadn’t realized that hating for as long as I did effectively sterilized from me my naturally occurring compassion and empathy. So when the time came to turn those healing tools upon others I found to my dismay that I could not heal myself.
Now I have come to understand that if I do not use the tools I have available, they become rusted, blunt and stale. Wait even longer and they are completely forgotten, assuring that I will soon become what I hate. So now I work daily to keep my forgiving sharp and at the ready. And the funny thing is that because of my continuous forgiving labors I now see that the time to forgive might never come because it is here already.
09-06-2011
Cognitive Dissonance
Forgiving Blue
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as long as you still look like the piss boy
Seems like the question of whether to forgive or not is predicated on the idea that the battle is over, or a foregone conclusion. Status quo still firmly entrenched, dug in for a fight.
I understand what you're saying CD.
A quick question though..... How many times do we forgive the same darn thing?
In the hands of this fallible human, forgiving is an uncertain art and not an exact science. Thus the reason for my last paragraph.
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." -Confucius
Thanks CD - I always look forward to your thought provoking posts. Keep 'em coming
Lol
Noz
Are you reading Eckart Tolle?
Yeah, the Power of Now You Bankers are truly screwed!
Tie them to the bumper. I won't look back if you won't.
they Are tied to the bumper---but sometimes, I back up
Thanks, CD
Short and to the point.
Expectation brings disappointment and greater disap-----well, so what?
Your point is well made that there is no one holding the bag except this oldman every time he expects anything other than what is.
Anger and aggression has never brought much profit my way and certainly no peace---and yet I still have more than my share. Only laughing at this cartoon of an old man brings any relief.
Thanks for the fix, man----i needed it om
A nice article, CD, thanks. Forgiveness is a gift one gives to themselves. It also depends on truthful, inner reflection. The truth is the crux of forgiveness. As I see it we have deep partisan hatred fueled by propaganda that is lacking much truth. In order for this division to ever heal we MUST keep spreading the truth and attacking propaganda - it will set us free on all counts..
I do agree heartily with Shameful's perspective on anger. It is the great social catalyst and itself is also a gift. Both anger and fogiveness must be applied wisely.
Nice post.
The reward of complete forgiveness is complete freedom for the forgiver - freedom to live in the present, freedom to create a better reality.
Carpe fogiveness - carpe vita
Thank you for the high praise.
There seems to be this false belief that forgiving automatically disarms us. This is wrong. I have found that as I removed the anger from my heart I become more determined and effective. The powerful fear those who forgive for they now are no longer controllable.
there you go again:
removing anger from your heart is not the same as forgiveness
There you go again.
Forgiveness is not the same as the terms I used, forgiving and forgive.
You keep saying that anger makes us controllable. Now maybe that's true, but then why has the cultural industry so pushed acceptance and making it wrong to hate anything other then your political opponents in the fake left right debate? Also look at the poisons being pushed out and the drugs, all meant to have a calming effect. Seems to me that the oligarchy is afraid of anger. Only fury can shake the masses awake, and only fury can shake the oligarchy from their perch. While you may have zen like determination, for most of it that determination comes from our base emotions.
And so we shall ultimately be destroyed by our base emotions. Our emotions will not only drive us to seek retribution and destruction, but we will then install exactly what was replaced. Our base emotions, and us along with them, are played like a fiddle. Time for some awakening.
This is not binary. History is made by both visceral and cerebral advances. It is our yin and our yang..
The anger and fury are not enough. They are not actions. The Plutocrats aren't afraid of them either. But, a 1/2 inch circular aperture in the forehead of Chris Cox, Dickie Fuld, Lord Blanfiend, Jamie Dimon, Tip O'neill, Dick Cheney, JoeCassano, and some others Masters of the Universe will instill a fear in the rest of them such that things may begin to change.
Who can argue that Revenge is a dish best served cold?
When rising up against great odds, uncontrolled anger and fury may be fatal. But a thoughtful, well-planned and coordinated attack to "Kill the King", will have a far greater chance of restoring a balance than some crazies acting out of heated emotions.
No anger and fury alone are not enough, but that is how actions come about. Calm, passive people are rare to take actions. When a person feels wronged, and it gnaws on his very soul, he is far more likely to try to do something about it. Again I ask people think on this, "Would my grandfather have put up with this?" Odds are he wouldn't have, but man has been incrementally domesticated. They are groping us in public, and sticking us into radiation cookers for Christ's sake!
The odds is the interesting part, now the people pulling the strings are tiny in number. Granted they have successfully fractured the mass man so any uprising will result in a large amount of chaos where factions will fight and squabble, where the oligarchy will likely escape. I suppose mankind has 2 choices, going quietly into that good night as slaves or a wild fury where they may yet end up as slaves.
As to well planned thoughtful attacks, not going to happen. Don't you think the modern intelligence services exist for a reason. Don't you find it interesting how entrenched the FBI is with "domestic terror groups"?
I agree that nothing resembling an uprising will ever occur anywhere here but for a few skirmishes, easily put down and smothered. But I differentiate between passionate and angry. A successfull revolution would require a smoldering passion, long-lived willing to endure all that cometh. Anger is flashy, quick, and easily defused. And ultimately useless as nourishment.
'Determination' was the word on my mind as well. There is a reason justice has been sometimes described as 'cold and hard'.
I'm still working on forgiving myself and the American populace for their years of apathy. On the other hand, I have come to the Acceptance stage, which allows me to be happy and enjoy family time, rather than be innerly fomenting and bitter. Onward and upward...
You know what helps with the masses? Look at what will happen to them. Their punishment is coming, neither you nor I need to take a hand in it. And quite frankly I feel sorry for them, they were conned. Now maybe they were stupid and witless, but conned none the less and they will pay for their stupidity. Now the perpetrators of the con, that's a different story. The masses in some ways are our enemy as they enable the oligarchy, but their reward is already in the pipe for all to see.
Can't argue with you there. The one present and future regret that I have is that we'll probably never be able to face the perpetrators of the con.
There is a difference between what I would call 'physical hate' and 'logical hate' I pretty much hate/despise all people I see and meet I could not live with society if my hate was 'physical' fortunately I am able to always rationalize it that allows me not only to survive but to thrive
You could say why bother why not just 'give up' and let it go ? Well there are 2 ways this can end, my physical death or the death of my soul and I will not give up either without a fight as long as there is a breath in my lungs
I like where you want us all to go CD. History shows that we get there eventually but only after massive human deflation.
All one can do is hope and work for the best while preparing for the worst. Know your neighbors? Got physical? You better.
I realized a while back that the only person I can work on is me, myself and I.
Regardless of how much help I offer, everyone must eventually do their own healing. But like you said, all we can do is hope and try....beginning at home. Thank you for commenting.
You really are a weak-kneed person if the only person you can work on is yourself; weak-kneed, impotent, and self-centered.
Why do you feel the necessity to project (vomit) your insecurities all over the zerohedge crowd? We aren't a good target audience for you. There are too many independent-minded souls here (and God bless them) to buy into your psychopathology. Some of us even have a better handle on psychology.
You talk about forgiveness, but you have no idea how to forgive. Your posts are simply an attempt to get your own thoughts a little straighter in your own mind, and obviously you care very little for those of us who offer substantial criticism.
I do agree that one improvement is your missives are shorter. Thank you for that. Now, go study what true forgiveness, and turning the other cheek really mean. It has nothing to do with forgiving yourself.
How many times shall I forgive my brother, seven times? No, I tell you seventy times seven.
When you obtain that degree of forgiveness you'll eschew psychobabble for spiritual vision--of which you are currently lacking.
The reality of these or any other protests are the same that we here in America will face when it is our turn in the near future..
NOTHING!! WILL!! COME!! OF!! ANY!! PROTESTS!!
The reason why is simple, numbers.
The Bottom and Lower Rung Middle Income Crowds are on board with Fighting Back.
The Middle and Higher Rung Middle are Comfortable thusly there will be NO! Protest from them and in fact see the Lower Rung and Bottom as acceptable losses.
In the End.. after the Bottom and Lower Rung have been silenced..
The Attack on the Middle and Higher Rung will begin.. But the bottom and lower will want no part of those peoples problems and mostly the Middle and Higher Rungs will just grin and bare it!
divide and conquer.
this battle was won thru the programming of over stimulated decades ago.
The Bottom and Lower Rung Deserve what is happening.. they are less than. they are stupid or ignorant either or it doesn't matter.. not worthy of benefit and a drag on the larger society.
The Middle and Higher Rung will not want to lumped into that crowd and will suffer with a smile rather than be seen as one of those kinds of people.
Greece Fell!
Spain will Fall!
Germany is a LAP DOG! and will get in line becuase they win either way but this way with Global support.
Italy? will fall.
and then..
lastly..
after all the others have gone before.. America will fall, divided.. and by the time everyone figures out that it always was a war against all of us.. will be.. to.. fucking.. late...
I like the summary, 'by the time people realize there is a war going on against them, this war will be already over'
"All men can see these tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved." - Sun Tzu
"For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill." - Sun Tzu
Those people have learned their lessons at a time when 99% of the population and 90% of the resistance is figuring out the way to school
Azannoth
Hundred billion dollar budgets failed to conceive or prevent a few determined Arabs from knocking down the twin towers.
And the trillions now spent and the trillions yet to be spent trying to counterbalance terrorism is proof positive that thinking outside the box can bring down the financial criminals. Bin Laden, like him or loath him, succeeded with little blood or treasure invested.
Perhaps, if we get lucky, they might be caught, like flies to fly paper, by productive value-added people stepping back and watching the world go by.
http://hosted.verticalresponse.com/539169/a876f48aa9/1538502231/3cc4aa40d4/
and even better than that.. here are two (2) Gems that CD posted last week.
http://metanoia-films.org/index.php
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Very! Much!! worth your time!
Thank you the metanoia link, stuff that everyone on ZH should watch.
That was ALL CD's finding and sharing.. I liked them so much I make sure CD gets his credit.
http://www.truth-out.org/i-was-domestic-terrorist-tales-post-911-america/1315328847
Brad and David’s story are told in the award-winning new documentary, Better This World, which will air nationwide Sept. 6 on the PBS program POV.
Editor’s Note: In August 2008, Brad Crowder and David McKay, two young activists from Austin, Texas, traveled to St. Paul, Minnesota, to protest the Republican National Convention. After a trailer full of their supplies and homemade shields were seized by St. Paul police without explanation, the two sought retaliation.
If we try to see how many banksters can fly after being dropped from high buildings the rest will capitulate out of self preservation. Then we just drown the capitulators.
One thing is for sure, when you let the guilty off they will only go right back to the same crimes expecting to be let off again.
For one to completely ignore morality in order to profit off misery, that one will never allow morality to enter the mind in the first place.
There is a reason why someone tries to wipe a certain sector of the population off the face of the earth every 100 years or so. The problem is morality prevents the just from destroying them completely which brings you back to letting off the guilty.
As a student, before exams, I swore to God with total sincerity(at that time), that if I could pass these exams this time, that I would seriously, seriously study for the next batch. But I never did; always reverted to type.
Same with the majority of would be savers, would be dieters, would be tee-totallers, would be non-smokers etc.
These banker types will typically be genuinely contrite when caught. Even when they mean it, give it a year and they'll be at it again.
True, with vengeance we throw away our own souls. BUT, an extended roasting is in order here for the elites if they want salvation; spill the beans, tell it all; the methods, the deals, the extent of the network, who they crossed, who they bought, who they had killed and who they intimidated; help us publish for all to see, their Machieavellian methods, so we can institutionalise the antidote for future generations.
Those who stare us in the eye claiming ignorance, when the evidence says otherwise, then perhaps time for a bit of mob justice.
Puree and forget! (larger container needed)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDlMLqdvHzI
Paragraph 2 line 1 - I think you mean unsated. And if you are suggesting that we forgive banksters and corrupt politicians for this mess? Not gonna happen. Ever.
Thank you for catching the typo. I just fixed it.
Sometimes I live and die by the spell check. When I re-read it the proper word forms in my mind because I know what should go there. This is why we should always have someone else proof read it for us. Fresh eyes and all.
I think I get what you're saying here CD, and I also think know I'm screwed too.
I always tell others to not get worked up about the negative things people do because when most people act, they are being little more than meat robots operating under the illusion of self determination. It therefore makes no sense to be angry at human action any more than it makes sense to be angry at a bird killing a worm, an infant crapping its diaper, lightning striking a tree, or a flood or a bush fire. Just observe the event, avoid an emotional reaction, position yourself to avoid harm and then either block the source of harm or help others to protect against it. Not so much forgiveness as acceptance of reality.
As usual, I ignore my own advice. Years of failing to avoid being pissed off has seen enough synapses be pruned away or reinforced to make this permanent. I've become a "Grumpy Old Man", the kind of person nobody wants to be around and I can't change it because it's too late. I'm addicted to being a negative prick. It's really not good. Humans are social animals and without strong social connections, we get visited by the Black Dog.
PS: if you haven't seen the comedy/documentary series "Grumpy Old Men", do yourself a favor and give it a watch. Hard not to empathize and laugh.
I know I am late to this thread (I run an adult babysitting service during the day). But I, for one, vent enormous amounts of anger here at Fight Club.
So, CD, give me 3 rounds with Blankfein and I will forgive the thieving prick at the end. I promise....
M, this comment answers a problem we're having dealing with a sudden rush of irrational customers in our business. going to suggest that 2nd paragraph as our new internal motto before the Black Dog finds us. she's so close i can smell her now that you mention it. good lookin out.
CD - There are two fallacies in your statements:
1) There is a concept of "righteous anger" that originates in a innate sense of right and wrong and desiring to correct it. We should not ignore it and should not fear it. It is not a failing in people.
2) We have not been wounded and need to heal, we have been wronged and require justice. Once again, there are times we need to forgive ourselves, but this is not one of them. "We" have done nothing wrong.
We haven't? Anyone that has taken out a loan or used a credit card has contributed to the problem. Sure, there may be a few folks out there that have never used debt or debt backed fiat, but I doubt their numbers are very high. If we had lived within our means as individuals we might have been able to demand that our governments do the same. There's guilt on all sides here, but obviously our (the people as a whole) actions were mostly from ignorance, not willfulness as it was on the part of banksters.
Absolutely not!
If you use debt wisely as the financial tool that it is AND you have paid back your creditors as stated in the terms of the note, you have done nothing wrong.
nice piece CD.
If forgivness is earned, it might then be given, but i doubt it will be earned.
What you're talking about is guilt and remorse, which I agree, isn't likely to happen (at least not on a very wide scale). I can still forgive them in spite of that, for I see them all as children, acting out emotionally without having developed the maturity to understand the social destruction that they create. It's hard to blame a world full of idiots when they were born into a system that rewarded them for reacting appropriately, instead of thinking through the ramifications on their own.