• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Friday Humor: How Is The "Buy Everything That Isn't Nailed Down" QE3 Trade Going?

Tyler Durden's picture


It's been a mere seven weeks since the CNBC'ers announced to the world that every widow, orphan, and pet-monkey should buy the market with both hands and feet as Bernanke just opened the gates. The exact phrase on the evening of QEternity was:

"Buy everything that's not nailed down... as bearish as I want to be, you cannot fight the Fed. You buy everything. Buy copper, which i did today, FCX which i mentioned last night. Anything else? Emerging markets! everything! Just buy it. Buy it all. You never have to short again. Buy it. I had a guy call me today trying to sell me research on the short side, and I said I'm sorry, I think you're going to go out of business. You shouldn't short anymore."

From QE3...


and from Monday: "Market Going Up No Matter Who Wins"... "as long as Wednesday mornig, we have a winner, market is going up... it's just uncertainty!" oh dear...


Things haven't quite gone as planned...

US Equity performance post-QE (and the post-election plunge at right)...

Your rating: None

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:16 | 2965523 larz
larz's picture

I like these useful idiots - they are very consistant

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:17 | 2965532 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

emerging markets, yeah, i'll get right on that. :roll:

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:18 | 2965533 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Buy commodities like lead, copper, and grain: 


Lead Softpoint (SP) , copper jacket, 125 grains.


10x500 Rounds of 7.62x39mm Ammo by Brown Bear - 125gr SP  SKU:762x39125SPBrownBear-500  $1500.00

Softpoint (SP) Lead, copper jacket, 125 grains.



Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:26 | 2965569 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

LMAO.  I like simplicity, but "buy everything"?  Really?

Even if his premises were all accurate, the strategy is moronic.

Funny, I haven't yet seen anything that makes me wish I watched CNBC.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:27 | 2965578 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Bauer.............Enough said !

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:29 | 2965585 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

fuck turds.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:37 | 2965617 pebblewriter
pebblewriter's picture

It was great advice.  I said/did the same, but made plans to exit when SPX completed a Bat Pattern at 1472.  This was the 88.6% fib of the 1576 to 666 crash and clearly not something to be ignored.


Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:40 | 2965633 bxy
bxy's picture

Bauer is a colossal douche...........

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:40 | 2965635 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

OT: Uh, Oh, Middle East risk is on right NOW.  

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:48 | 2965671 Mr Lennon Hendrix
Mr Lennon Hendrix's picture

You are off topic.  The rest of us are researching buy signals on FB.

Right Bidershart?

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 16:45 | 2965993 crusty curmudgeon
crusty curmudgeon's picture

BoooooYaaaaaaah!!  Back up the truck.  Cramer says to load up on Farcebook and Gropeon.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:51 | 2965684 devo
devo's picture

Their balance sheet hasn't increased since QE3. I think it was all talk.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:52 | 2965689 booboo
booboo's picture

"Muppets" he said "Muppets" I heard it, it was very soft but he said "muppets buy everything not nailed down"

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:52 | 2965691 muppet_master
muppet_master's picture

spx @ 1384


average short spx price = 1450...RODE FOR A WHILE...from 1474

average short EUR price = 1.315...RODE for a while...covered @ 1.272

i wanna see a 3-5% POP next week on spx...then i can reload the shorts at spx 1430 !!

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 16:01 | 2965732 muppet_master
muppet_master's picture

didn't short cover @ spx 1390

=the high of the day....was at the gym in the morning in CA at 0645 PST = 0945 EST when spx @ 1373...oh well.

covered at 1384...NOT 1390...and NOT at 1474 on day after QE3 !!! LOL !!!

if i didn't cover today...could have seen half my short gains disappear next week on TEMP bounce.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 15:57 | 2965710 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

 Buy it all. You never have to short again

Attention Muppets!!! You have been told to bend over again...

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 16:10 | 2965768 The worst trader
The worst trader's picture

Bla Bla Bla no one knows shit! Thats what it all comes down to. This country is broken beyond repair  so lets get to the point and roll another joint.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 16:17 | 2965822 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

Oh, so that's the guy on the offer Monday and Tuesday!

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 16:53 | 2966031 setter3
setter3's picture

From what I understand of the Fed and QE3 it hasn't started yet. The mortgage securities they have purchased were done on a 'forward' basis and don't start settling until the 14th of this month.

Fri, 11/09/2012 - 17:04 | 2966078 toomanyfakecons...
toomanyfakeconservatives's picture

Buying everything that isn't nailed down... that would be the ammunition cabinet at WalMart.

Sat, 11/10/2012 - 11:39 | 2967604 moneybots
moneybots's picture

Things have gone as planned.  Bruce Karatz was on TV to pump up his companies stock while he was dumping it.

Come widows and orphans and buy what we are trying to dump.  Come hold an empty bag for us, while we run off with your money.

Sat, 11/10/2012 - 14:12 | 2967878 mh505
mh505's picture

Here is a piece of real humour - nothing to do with QE3 but fun just the same and a peek from the past into the immediate future  ::))



Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!