Risk Ramp On Boehner Banality

Tyler Durden's picture

Great timing. The ubiquitous post-European close trend-reversal was extended by some 'nothing' comments from Boehner that every media outlet is inferring means everything's fixed and compromise is close. It's not - what did we expect him to say?

  • Boehner says talks with Obama were constructive. Outlined a
    framework with Obama; Will accept revenue if spending cuts
AAPL jumped up to VWAP and S&P 500 futures coincidentally reached overnight highs/stops. Now let's see if anyone really believes...
And for those who have forgotten last summer's debt ceiling negotiations, here is a sample of what happened before the market tumbled by 20% to get the deal done:
  • July 18, 2011: House Republicans brace for compromise on debt (Source: LAT)
  • July 22, 2011: Debt Ceiling Talks Collapse as Boehner Walks Out (Source: NYT)
Luckily, the algos never learn...
and AAPL has popped for the hopers to yesterday's VWAP...

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Kaiser Sousa's picture

the moron on CNBC with the head that looks like Max Headroom states the follwing - 

"i'm buying more Apple...."

yea, yeah, me too...imma sell all my Silver and get me some Apple.....

what a fucking joke...

Kaiser Sousa's picture

hey bro thanks...i needed that...

now, where was i...........oh yea,



Lloyd_Xmas's picture

Boehner says talks with Obama were constructive. Outlined a
framework with Obama; Will accept revenue if spending cuts. ...


Boehner then spit and he and da prez smoked a cigarette.  

alien-IQ's picture

The illusion of compromise only needs to be maintained for another 4 hours. That will buy them the weekend to come up with some other bullshit.

fonzannoon's picture


up 30 pts and they are pitching it like it's up 500

tahoebumsmith's picture

Good luck keeping this rocket that was launched at precisely 11:40am from falling back to Earth. Gravity BITCHEZ... You can keep a balloon afloat with hot air as long as the hot air continues, time to see what happens when the hot air cools down.

graneros's picture

Ah but your forgetting the magic "1530 anti-gravity ramps."  They will be activated at that time by simply playing reruns of Boehner smiling and saying "constructive talks."  Maybe, just for good measure, they'll even through in some Drahgi reruns.  

(For those not used to military or European time, 1530 is 3:30 in the afternoon)


Oldwood's picture

We are looking more like Europe every day! How many times have we seen the markets jump on some quote or quip?

slaughterer's picture

Hey Ty:


Luv, Whitney.  

LouisDega's picture

I have NFLX the service. Streaming improved 1000% from a few months ago.  I saw Giant w/ Rock Hudson and James Dean last night. I was very impressed to see that movie on the menu.

SheepDog-One's picture

Full-retard in full-effect.

Oldwood's picture

Is it just me or does anyone else find the term "constructive" a bit frightening? Sharpening the knives, are they?

Frank N. Beans's picture

Boner ramped the market so he could sell his aapl

the market is acting twitchy  --  not good



pragmatic hobo's picture

AAPL headed to 8 straight weekly close in the red.

stormsailor's picture

whew, got out of my long with a little coin. watch /es  if it breaks over 1356.50, its probably long time.  if it fails,  go short.

nick howdy's picture

...and now a word from Ted Torbich dicussing current events: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWTv3f7gQqs&feature=plcp

Oldwood's picture

Wow! There really are middle aged guys in their mother's basements. I hope she brings his meds to him soon.

nick howdy's picture

He's in his basement...and the reason he's like this is because he's off his meds, maybe if everyone got off of theirs.....

sbenard's picture

Based solely on the words of John Boehner that his meeting with President Obama was "constructive", S&P 500 futures have leaped 16 points (about 120 on the Dow) in less than 30 minutes. Oops! It wasn't "words" (plural), it was WORD (singular).

fonzannoon's picture

"Generational Opportunity" there it is

SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

All hail The Tan Man so sayeth the HFT's! The rally will last until Harry Krishna and Nancy Nazi speaketh out against the Tan Man. Tax the rich, let the tax cuts expire and the HFT's will weep...

slaughterer's picture

"Orange Man Makes Markets Green" (WSJ)/sarc

stormsailor's picture

went long /es it broke above,  thats a cup and saucer pattern.

Oldballplayer's picture

The republicans come out and pretty much say, "The Democrats must have showered today because they do not smell like fish," and the Dems come out and say, "The republicans did not sacrifce an old person on the table this morning" and the whole fucking world believes we've been saved.

These guys are just incredible.

And we are so screwed.

ekm's picture

Boehner's remarks are a justification, but NOT the reason.


The stocks have no other way to go but up. It's FORCED buying.

The option of a SLIDE is no longer available. Either creep up or grand canyon, untill the weakest link collapses.

After that, grand canyon is the only option.

razorthin's picture

IWM bounced off of and has defended support the past 2 days so far.  To all the technical skeptics, all I can say is that I saw it coming - even though I didn't know what "it" would be.

From this point though the New Year, I think every effort will be made to get the sheep to buy as much holiday junk as possible.  And let's not forget those banker bonuses.

SheepDog-One's picture

Like this year will be somehow better than last years ridiculously hyped faceplant 'retail shopping season'? I know none of us here are buying much of anything for Christmas presents, only needed and useful things. It will be worse than last years dud, no way around that.

ekm's picture

I don't agree.

50% of population is receiving food stamps or other kinds of money that CANNOT be deposited but only spent in USA.


If I have have dollars I can spent them everywhere. If I have an EBTC (electronic benefits card or food stamp) I can spend it only in USA. People are forced to spend them.

It can continue as long as Chinese are willing to be enslave to ship goods to USA in exchange for worthless electronic dollars, hence retail won't go higher,  but won't go significantly lower either. But again, it will employ a lot of enslaved chinese, but zero americans.

marcusfenix's picture

we have a framework. wow. great...I feel so much better now, in fact, this has boosted my consumer confidence so much that I think I will run out right now and burn not one, not two, but all there of my credit cards.

yep, it's wine, roses and hopeium from here on out.

now can somebody tell me, how do I nominate the US federal government for a nobel peace prize?

sawman's picture

If ever you needed more evidence of how broken these markets are then this is it. Proof positive the humans have left the building. I think it's great though - every time they artificially take down the metals I buy more and every time they artificially hype up the markets I put on shorts big enough for Roseanne Barr. 

Rathmullan's picture

M&Ms (muppets and maggots)

Village Smithy's picture

No one was buying that ramp except Ben and Kevy. They were leaning on the buy button spending your money to let the PDs get out before 4:00.


ekm's picture

Federal Reserve and PDs are one entity.

Are you saying they are selling to each other, since nobody else is buying?

Village Smithy's picture

They are one entity that is true, but they don't share the same balance sheet. In addition PDs have voluntary shareholders that need to be kept happy. The Fed's shareholders on the other hand are captive by virtue of their citizenship.

wagthetails's picture

it appears US politicians have learned from the Euro politicians.  Free Beer Tomorrow!

Cheshire's picture

Watched that. It took about ten minutes on low relative volume. Its just momentum move. They always tie it to a narritive, but basically the whole "skynet" did a ramp. Its a trick....

bugs_'s picture

the old spending cuts later and tax increases now RINO rope-a-dope - watch that AMT on the nodascope