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Obama Speaks Again

Tyler Durden's picture




 

No, it isn't the first time Obama has spoken on the Fiscal Cliff, and more importantly, the debt ceiling, which no matter what happens today appears set to remain unresolved as part of today's 60 day stopgap deal, if indeed one materializes. It won't be the last. There will be, however, much hope, optimism, and scapegoating, as always.

As a reminder, here are the rules of the drinking game - every time someone, in this case Obama, says:

  • "optimistic", do 1 shot;
  • "not optimistic" - 2 shots;
  • "cautiously optimistic" - 3 shots;
  • "guardedly optimistic" - 4 shots;
  • "encouraged" - 5 shots
  • "hopeful" - 10 shots
  • "fair" - 15 shots
  • And, naturally, "Bush's fault" - chug

Clip below:

 

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Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:49 | 3109814 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Let me be perfectly clear.  Dick Clark won't drop the ball today.  Instead, those wascally Wepublicans will be the culpwit.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:49 | 3109815 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Asian man, White lady, Black man, Hispanic lady, Black woman, White man, Hispanic male, etc.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:49 | 3109816 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

WTF? This guy just spews total BULLSHIT what '$1 trillion in cuts'? YOU havent had a passed budget your WHOLE TERM you lyin sack of shit!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:51 | 3109826 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

Go on with your bad self Sheep! 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109837 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The best part I think is he talks like we're all kindergarteners!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109854 knukles
knukles's picture

He is Illuminati

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:13 | 3109989 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"He is Illuminati"

Didn't you mean Stooge of the Illumniati?

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109846 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

yeah but he spent six trillion in new debt in a "balanced" approach. Look at all these middle class folks. Kardashian is pregnant, etc.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:19 | 3109990 knukles
knukles's picture

Thank God she don't remember me from the roofies

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:49 | 3109819 island
island's picture

As expected.  He wants to spend more.  Why not balance the budget by first cutting Federal salaries and benefits - and bring them in line with the private sector??  Yeah - I be dreamin'.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:50 | 3109820 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

Would someone in the room punch this lying, anorexic waste of a human skin in the mouth please?

What a fucking idiot.  And where in good greens gods name do they get the fawning twats laughing and humouring him?

If I were there I would be on CNN the morrow morning for giving the shit-bag a fucking good hiding.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:55 | 3109865 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

+1 for 'fawning twats'

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:50 | 3109821 Stuart
Stuart's picture

A bold face partisan liar...   the US is pooched. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109822 sbenard
sbenard's picture

All bow in worshipful reverence to His Unholy Unctuousness, the Dictator of Debt!
Hail Caesar, also known as Emperor Obama!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:49 | 3109823 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Oh fuck...this is going to drone on forever...'baffle em with bullshit' on steroids and crystal meth! 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:49 | 3109824 Stochdoc
Stochdoc's picture

Trying to convince the Republicans to bend over like the faggots they are.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:50 | 3109825 Undecided
Undecided's picture

One word hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:50 | 3109827 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Algos dont give a fuck ObaMao! Where's da FREE MONEEYS??

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:51 | 3109828 Oquities
Oquities's picture

just rubbed the republican's noses in their compromise.  ego driven.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:51 | 3109829 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

10  chugs for everytime Obama says, "I want to be clear" thats code words for more BS. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:51 | 3109830 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

So really - nothing. Nice.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:51 | 3109833 wingmann
wingmann's picture

Whenever Emperor Barack Hussein Obama II decides to suffer us another soliloquy masquerading as an exchange with the people, we know we can look forward to a delightful combination of pomposity, narcissism, banality, and tendentiousness.jk/at

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109835 Kiwi Pete
Kiwi Pete's picture

Why is that woman so fat?

 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109844 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

As the Surgeon General of the United States, she needs to be able to relate to the common people?

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109849 TheMayor
TheMayor's picture

We need to pass a law and outlaw spoons!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:15 | 3109997 knukles
knukles's picture

She doesn't use a spoon.  She regurgitates her food and spits it into the mouths of the starving poor children.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109838 Cult of Criminality
Cult of Criminality's picture

Cannot watch this ........excuse me please.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109839 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Ladies and Gentleman: The President of the United States and the Walmart Choral Stooges. All Rise!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109840 Massholio
Massholio's picture

He just said fairer. I am wasted after hopeful.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109841 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Anyone here invited to the big $10MM HoDown at the WH tonight to bring in a New Year of Hope and Change?

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109842 TheMayor
TheMayor's picture

He is such a liar.

He keeps talking about the automatic spending cuts that congress voted for, as if he had nothing to do with it?

He signed the law, didn't he?

What a scumbag hypocrite this POS is! 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:52 | 3109843 Joe moneybags
Joe moneybags's picture

Man, is he ever babling, repatatively.  Bring back the telepromter!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109845 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Sustainability = Agenda 21

 

 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109860 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Of course. Obama is nothing but the front man for implementing Agenda 21 here in the US. Been groomed for that position since his teens....

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109847 VonSalza
VonSalza's picture

We is saved :-) YAY!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109848 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

How many more time must we hear the same bullshit. Hurting Seniors, Students, Middleclass. Gee he even brought his own cheering section. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109850 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

Where did he find all these cheerleaders from?

 

 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109852 infinity8
infinity8's picture

"balanced" shoulda been on the list - we'd all be loaded already.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:53 | 3109853 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Tyler - you need to amend the rules to include "balanced" and "responsible". Shit-faced drunk if that happens.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109855 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

he's just trying to prolong this so he doesn't have to go back to Hawaii

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:57 | 3109883 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Brilliant Zer0head!

DavidC

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109856 surf0766
surf0766's picture

All I want to know is when does his third term start?

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:57 | 3109891 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

Its already started. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:58 | 3109895 Getting Old Sucks
Getting Old Sucks's picture

Careful, remember his exec order could be enacted right after he starts WWIII.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109857 Darksky
Darksky's picture

Is it over yet? Vandy game at halftime...nothing but deic (dog eater in chief) on my other channels.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109861 island
island's picture

Mediocrity.  That is all I can say.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:54 | 3109862 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

Is the black women behind him a midget? lol

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:55 | 3109863 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

If the lady in the blue dress could lay out a nice crop duster fart, this whole thing would be over!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:55 | 3109866 FiatFapper
FiatFapper's picture

Vacuous, vapid diatribe.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:57 | 3109886 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Populism at its finest ... Y'all.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:03 | 3109867 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

Now see, let me be clear you dumb buncha monkeys....I be so proud myself cause I get to be president. Me bein' president means me is gunna be famous and portant.

This why I got picked. It be cause I am me. Now, what will happen is I will be impotent, and all the stuff i'd be'd comin' to figer out is that now I be president.

So now here I be, the president, and I want to let you appreciate learnin' that.

I'm glad about bein' president and this is the united states.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:55 | 3109869 pupton
pupton's picture

More proof that you can't fix stupid.  We're all fucked, and THEY all know it.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:55 | 3109870 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

Is he still campaigning? Dictators don't need to be reelected. They just confiscate our guns and declare themselves dictator for life. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:56 | 3109881 FiatFapper
FiatFapper's picture

He will do a Putin / Chavez and re-write the constituion to run for a 3rd term.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:00 | 3109914 dogfish
dogfish's picture

Dont forget Bloomberg.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:56 | 3109871 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

And now the market says ... huh ?

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:56 | 3109872 Dirndlt
Dirndlt's picture

Different speaking style, y'all.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:56 | 3109877 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

A lot of fatty's on the stage with Barry O'cocksucker. Michelle would not be happy. I wonder if he has Reggie Love for sleepovers when Michelle is in Hawaii

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:56 | 3109878 realtick
realtick's picture

Thank God that's over - back to Infowars.com

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:57 | 3109888 JSD
JSD's picture

All I want to know is what the lady with the pierced upper lip doing for new years.  I'm all over that.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:57 | 3109893 Teamtc321
Teamtc321's picture

Shared Sacrifice = Drink the Whole Fifth.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:58 | 3109899 PUD
PUD's picture

THAT'S IT! WALKS OFF WITH THE FAT CHICKS TO GRAND APPLAUSE! 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:00 | 3109902 TheMayor
TheMayor's picture

Translation of Obama dribble ===> We have no deal....that is why I am out here cheerleading again....

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:59 | 3109904 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

Will he be flying back to Hawaii soon to join his fat first lady? 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 14:59 | 3109910 magpie
magpie's picture

I didn't do it

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:00 | 3109913 PUD
PUD's picture

GOOD THING NO ONE DROPPED A DONUT!! WOULD HAVE CAUSED A FAT CHICK RIOT ON NATIONAL TV!

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:01 | 3109916 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Vote: Hillary, plastic surgery complications

Vote: Hillary, actually has a concussion

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:25 | 3110044 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

Vote: Concussion, she fell while dehydrated/sick

Vote: Concussion, she fell while completely blotto

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:50 | 3110127 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Benghazi-itis amnesiaform. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 19:51 | 3111015 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

No she fell after she had one to many drinks. She must have just got back from the dominican republic where she was at a New Years eve party. Booze and sitting on a plane too long will cause clots. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:02 | 3109923 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Time to be scrubbed clean with a wire brush. Why did I waste good wanking time?

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:04 | 3109933 in-Credible Banker
in-Credible Banker's picture

A great soundtrack to this farce - The Illusion of Progress:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAyMip9MCfU

 

 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:18 | 3109941 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Typical middle class family worker that just so happens to be near the WH today and want to offer their support for the president. lol lol lol lol. What a charade. You can't make this shit up anymore. This is like a bad sitcom. First of all if you know any of those fools who showed up today don't have them baby sit your kids because you can't trust their common sense.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 19:48 | 3111002 foxmuldar
foxmuldar's picture

They were picked out of the line waiting for their free Obama phones. Obama gave them the phones personally after his rant. Imagine that 50 years ago these assholes would get a care package and maybe a chunk of cheese. It all started going down hill when they did away with the care package and started giving food stamps and welfare checks. 

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:26 | 3110046 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Hope he doesn't get the bright idea of signing papers later tonight. This is typically the night he decides to kill Americans.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:44 | 3110100 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

McCain and copany are ripping him over his cheer leading press conference on the floor of the Senate. They basically said that what the president said "was lacking in civility and leadership" (direct quote btw). Obama is going to have a rough time in the House with a peanut butter sandwich after that stunt.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:52 | 3110131 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Wonder if Hillary will go so far as to have her breasts removed to aviod testifying under oath about the crimes of Benghazi??   Biden fell down too, but he does that often... he also has a clot... it restricts bloodflow to his brain and his hair, but not his pie-hole or his A-hole.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 15:57 | 3110143 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

Operation Green Job complete..... Just look at the VIX, how do they do that? That is the Bernanke signature... Bitch slap the VIX to sound the all clear for the Federallies.

Mon, 12/31/2012 - 16:49 | 3110355 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Re Obama Speaks Again

 

My sincere and earnest 2013 Wish is that Barry O'Bimbo would STFU.

And a Happy New Year to all at ZH.

 

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