Crunching Complex Concepts In The Corner - Caption Contest

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Is this what tax season prep looks like when you have a Congressionally-imposed ban from using TurboTax? We will let readers decide...

 

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Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:45 | 3204590 tom a taxpayer
tom a taxpayer's picture

Hari Krishna! I gave those airport gurus $10,000 for these secrets of the Orient. I'm following the instructions, crossing my legs. Why aren't I levitating?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:19 | 3204325 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

"Those fucking Goldman assholes - I make them Billions and they can't even throw in free parking"

 

 

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:19 | 3204326 Bohm Squad
Bohm Squad's picture

Only 70,000 more pages of IRS code to read before I can file.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:30 | 3204327 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture

Crap. " I can't read this; this is at the 8th grade level"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:18 | 3204329 gmcniff
gmcniff's picture

Hank was right...their benefits are impressive.  But what the hell is this AMT line item?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:21 | 3204333 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Sometime in the future.......

"Wow....we are so fucking broke we cannot even afford chairs anymore...."(Thinking to himself)

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:21 | 3204335 Frastric
Frastric's picture

Geithner: (Sniggers) Four years of FUBARing the USA economy and whoring myself to TBTF and all I'm facing are a couple of lawsuites...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:21 | 3204337 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

Paper: "Is that a bonus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

Timmay: "No risk of that."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:22 | 3204338 EmmittFitzhume
EmmittFitzhume's picture

And I leave my house in the Cayman Islands to...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:23 | 3204342 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Well, last page, and as far as I can tell I don't get killed at the end of this script.......

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:23 | 3204348 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Signing Contract: Geithner Hired as IMF Head

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:24 | 3204351 Animal Cracker
Animal Cracker's picture

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:27 | 3204359 gerriek
gerriek's picture

FOUND IT. On the last page. A summary of my strong US dollar policy.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:27 | 3204360 CharliePrince
CharliePrince's picture

i should get paid big  for screwing the american public

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:29 | 3204363 gmcniff
gmcniff's picture

"Gotta hand it to Jamie...I thought Larry went overboard but who puts an index on their resume?" 

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:29 | 3204372 Squid-puppets a...
Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

"Tarantino promised a feature role, but 'the Gimp'? ....where's my snappy dialogue? "

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204373 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Maybe I should call Auther Andersen.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204374 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

hmm, Project Mayhem....nice.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204376 James-Morrison
James-Morrison's picture

1. Pick up Michelle's dry cleaning. CHECK

2. Wash the Presidential Limo. CHECK

3. Tutor the girls in Math.  WHY DID THEY CROSS THAT ONE OFF, I WONDER????

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204377 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Wow, I found $217 we haven't spent yet !!!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204379 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

Shit, McDonalds is looking for job references too.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:33 | 3204383 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Everybody else got a fucking chair.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:36 | 3204727 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

And the music stopped...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:36 | 3204390 gmcniff
gmcniff's picture

"Are you kidding me?!!!  The Fed keeps minutes of ALL it's meetings!!!"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:38 | 3204392 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Where are the chick pics?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:38 | 3204394 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Hello John...? I looked for the word vaporized and I can't find it anywhere. Can you tell me how you made 1.2 billion dollars disappear again?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:40 | 3204402 Black Markets
Black Markets's picture

BEHOLD...

The Wizard of Oz !!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:41 | 3204403 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

This list of incriminating phone calls, emails, and documents that need to be burned keeps getting longer and longer...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:43 | 3204408 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

I saw this fucking picture on CNBC.  The douchebags on there commented saying "awwwwwww", "he looks so smart", etc. Fuck you CNBC.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:47 | 3204417 Racer
Racer's picture

'Oh Sh1t, I left  those extra 00000000000's off my expenses claim'

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:47 | 3204419 mantrid
mantrid's picture

"now this one goes to fireplace"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:20 | 3204511 knowless
knowless's picture

if only the epa hadn't already banned them..

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:47 | 3204421 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Math is Hard!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:14 | 3204427 TomGa
TomGa's picture

"Thank you for your interest in Goldman Sachs. We'll keep your resume on file and notify you if a position matching your interests and abilities with Turbo Tax becomes available."

 

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:53 | 3204436 nmewn
nmewn's picture

You're sitting on your W2 you fucking douche nozzle.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:54 | 3204442 HD
HD's picture

The music stopped.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:23 | 3204522 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

...and all the chairs are taken.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 23:12 | 3204448 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

"fuck you bernanke!" (ups)

"now for the world!" (downs)

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:03 | 3204461 Gamma735
Gamma735's picture

Little Timmy G has been sent to the corner for being a bad little boy.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:05 | 3204463 SilverFish
SilverFish's picture

"Mr. Timmeh, your H&R Block representative will see you now."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:09 | 3204478 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Oh shit!  Blankfein told me that money was under the table!  That fucker itemized it as a charitable contribution!"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:11 | 3204480 piceridu
piceridu's picture

Breath Timmy, breath...got to finish the last details of my new Keynesian Yoga proposal...should I call Turbo Tai-bo or Ponzi Pilates?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:10 | 3204487 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

My resume is done but nobody will give me references

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:29 | 3204523 monad
monad's picture

I'm waiting for my man 
Twenty-six dollars in my hand 

Up to Lexington 125 

Feeling sick and dirty, more dead than alive 
I'm waiting for my man 
Hey, white boy, what you doin' uptown? 
Hey, white boy, you chasin' our women around? 
Oh pardon me sir, it's furthest from my mind 
I'm just lookin' for a tinty friend of mine 
I'm waiting for my man 
Here he comes, he's all dressed in black 
PR shoes and a big straw hat 
He's never early, he's always late 
First thing you learn is you always gotta wait 
I'm waiting for my man 
Up to a Brownstone, up three flights of stairs 
Everybody's pinned you, but nobody cares 
He's got the works, gives you sweet taste 
Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste 
I'm waiting for my man 
Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you bawl and shout 
I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out 
I'm feeling good, I'm feeling so fine 
Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time 
I'm waiting for my man

Walk it home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOmZimH00oo

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:07 | 3204542 raki_d
raki_d's picture

Wait- before i give this speech- was it in billions or trillions ??

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:29 | 3204546 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

How does ButtHead memorize his lines ?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:33 | 3204558 Encroaching Darkness
Encroaching Darkness's picture

Fracking Federal purchasing specs! Eighty-seven pages of details and requirements for a simple trillion-dollar platinum coin? Who the hell is going to read all this? Just mint the damn thing......

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:35 | 3204563 raki_d
raki_d's picture

Print a few bills & get my chair back !

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