HoW DoeS A PoTuS DiSTRaCT ATTeNTioN FRoM A BuCKeT oF SCaNDaLS?

Posted by : williambanzai7

Post date: 05/24/2013 - 11:46

Drone On Debt Bro, Drone On!

The Fed's Hands Are Tied... Right as the Financial System Begins to Crack

Posted by: Phoenix Capital...

Post date: 05/24/2013 - 12:30

So the Fed is essentially handcuffed at this point. Increasing QE in any way risks a Japan-bond market style rout.

European Central Bank: Let Them Go Bankrupt!

Posted by: Pivotfarm

Post date: 05/24/2013 - 10:04

Everyone has heard of Marie-Antoinette screaming from her balcony at the Palace of Versailles in the early hours of the French Revolution: “if there’s no bread, then let them eat cake!”. Right!

Crunching Complex Concepts In The Corner - Caption Contest

Submitted by Tyler Durden on 01/31/2013 19:11 -0400

Is this what tax season prep looks like when you have a Congressionally-imposed ban from using TurboTax? We will let readers decide...

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Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:45 | 3204590 tom a taxpayer

Hari Krishna! I gave those airport gurus $10,000 for these secrets of the Orient. I'm following the instructions, crossing my legs. Why aren't I levitating?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:19 | 3204325 Ness.

"Those fucking Goldman assholes - I make them Billions and they can't even throw in free parking"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:19 | 3204326 Bohm Squad

Only 70,000 more pages of IRS code to read before I can file.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:30 | 3204327 Rustysilver

Crap. " I can't read this; this is at the 8th grade level"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:18 | 3204329 gmcniff

Hank was right...their benefits are impressive. But what the hell is this AMT line item?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:21 | 3204333 IridiumRebel

Sometime in the future.......

"Wow....we are so fucking broke we cannot even afford chairs anymore...."(Thinking to himself)

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:21 | 3204335 Frastric

Geithner: (Sniggers) Four years of FUBARing the USA economy and whoring myself to TBTF and all I'm facing are a couple of lawsuites...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:21 | 3204337 1C3-N1N3

Paper: "Is that a bonus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

Timmay: "No risk of that."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:22 | 3204338 EmmittFitzhume

And I leave my house in the Cayman Islands to...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:23 | 3204342 A Lunatic

Well, last page, and as far as I can tell I don't get killed at the end of this script.......

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:23 | 3204348 ziggy59

Signing Contract: Geithner Hired as IMF Head

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:24 | 3204351 Animal Cracker

"Nobody puts Baby in the corner."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:27 | 3204359 gerriek

FOUND IT. On the last page. A summary of my strong US dollar policy.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:27 | 3204360 CharliePrince

i should get paid big for screwing the american public

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:29 | 3204363 gmcniff

"Gotta hand it to Jamie...I thought Larry went overboard but who puts an index on their resume?"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:29 | 3204372 Squid-puppets a...

"Tarantino promised a feature role, but 'the Gimp'? ....where's my snappy dialogue? "

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204373 Dr. Engali

Maybe I should call Auther Andersen.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204374 Rusty Shorts

hmm, Project Mayhem....nice.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204376 James-Morrison

1. Pick up Michelle's dry cleaning. CHECK

2. Wash the Presidential Limo. CHECK

3. Tutor the girls in Math. WHY DID THEY CROSS THAT ONE OFF, I WONDER????

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204377 are we there yet

Wow, I found $217 we haven't spent yet !!!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:31 | 3204379 Smuckers

Shit, McDonalds is looking for job references too.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:33 | 3204383 Spastica Rex

Everybody else got a fucking chair.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:36 | 3204727 tenpanhandle

And the music stopped...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:36 | 3204390 gmcniff

"Are you kidding me?!!! The Fed keeps minutes of ALL it's meetings!!!"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:38 | 3204392 Bunga Bunga

Where are the chick pics?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:38 | 3204394 Dr. Engali

Hello John...? I looked for the word vaporized and I can't find it anywhere. Can you tell me how you made 1.2 billion dollars disappear again?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:40 | 3204402 Black Markets

BEHOLD...

The Wizard of Oz !!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:41 | 3204403 NoWayJose

This list of incriminating phone calls, emails, and documents that need to be burned keeps getting longer and longer...

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:43 | 3204408 Tsunami Wave

I saw this fucking picture on CNBC. The douchebags on there commented saying "awwwwwww", "he looks so smart", etc. Fuck you CNBC.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:47 | 3204417 Racer

'Oh Sh1t, I left those extra 00000000000's off my expenses claim'

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:47 | 3204419 mantrid

"now this one goes to fireplace"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:20 | 3204511 knowless

if only the epa hadn't already banned them..

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:47 | 3204421 buzzsaw99

Math is Hard!

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:14 | 3204427 TomGa

"Thank you for your interest in Goldman Sachs. We'll keep your resume on file and notify you if a position matching your interests and abilities with Turbo Tax becomes available."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:53 | 3204436 nmewn

You're sitting on your W2 you fucking douche nozzle.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 19:54 | 3204442 HD

The music stopped.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:23 | 3204522 Wakanda

...and all the chairs are taken.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 23:12 | 3204448 hooligan2009

"fuck you bernanke!" (ups)

"now for the world!" (downs)

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:03 | 3204461 Gamma735

Little Timmy G has been sent to the corner for being a bad little boy.

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:05 | 3204463 SilverFish

"Mr. Timmeh, your H&R Block representative will see you now."

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:09 | 3204478 ebworthen

"Oh shit! Blankfein told me that money was under the table! That fucker itemized it as a charitable contribution!"

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:11 | 3204480 piceridu

Breath Timmy, breath...got to finish the last details of my new Keynesian Yoga proposal...should I call Turbo Tai-bo or Ponzi Pilates?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:10 | 3204487 bugs_

My resume is done but nobody will give me references

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:29 | 3204523 monad

I'm waiting for my man
Twenty-six dollars in my hand

Up to Lexington 125

Feeling sick and dirty, more dead than alive
I'm waiting for my man
Hey, white boy, what you doin' uptown?
Hey, white boy, you chasin' our women around?
Oh pardon me sir, it's furthest from my mind
I'm just lookin' for a tinty friend of mine
I'm waiting for my man
Here he comes, he's all dressed in black
PR shoes and a big straw hat
He's never early, he's always late
First thing you learn is you always gotta wait
I'm waiting for my man
Up to a Brownstone, up three flights of stairs
Everybody's pinned you, but nobody cares
He's got the works, gives you sweet taste
Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste
I'm waiting for my man
Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you bawl and shout
I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out
I'm feeling good, I'm feeling so fine
Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time
I'm waiting for my man

Walk it home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOmZimH00oo

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:37 | 3204568 knowless

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZQ5aNrwYcM

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:57 | 3204620 monad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=limc_mfDZJU

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 21:07 | 3204542 raki_d

Wait- before i give this speech- was it in billions or trillions ??

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:29 | 3204546 Seasmoke

How does ButtHead memorize his lines ?

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:33 | 3204558 Encroaching Darkness

Fracking Federal purchasing specs! Eighty-seven pages of details and requirements for a simple trillion-dollar platinum coin? Who the hell is going to read all this? Just mint the damn thing......

Thu, 01/31/2013 - 20:35 | 3204563 raki_d

Print a few bills & get my chair back !

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