Eye bleach recommended...
‘The problem with Quantitative Easing is that it works in practice but it doesn’t work in theory’, dixit Ben Bernanke.
Nothing “capitalistic” about these monopoly mergers.
Is this what tax season prep looks like when you have a Congressionally-imposed ban from using TurboTax? We will let readers decide...
Hari Krishna! I gave those airport gurus $10,000 for these secrets of the Orient. I'm following the instructions, crossing my legs. Why aren't I levitating?
"Those fucking Goldman assholes - I make them Billions and they can't even throw in free parking"
Only 70,000 more pages of IRS code to read before I can file.
Crap. " I can't read this; this is at the 8th grade level"
Hank was right...their benefits are impressive. But what the hell is this AMT line item?
Sometime in the future.......
"Wow....we are so fucking broke we cannot even afford chairs anymore...."(Thinking to himself)
Geithner: (Sniggers) Four years of FUBARing the USA economy and whoring myself to TBTF and all I'm facing are a couple of lawsuites...
Paper: "Is that a bonus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"
Timmay: "No risk of that."
And I leave my house in the Cayman Islands to...
Well, last page, and as far as I can tell I don't get killed at the end of this script.......
Signing Contract: Geithner Hired as IMF Head
"Nobody puts Baby in the corner."
FOUND IT. On the last page. A summary of my strong US dollar policy.
i should get paid big for screwing the american public
"Gotta hand it to Jamie...I thought Larry went overboard but who puts an index on their resume?"
"Tarantino promised a feature role, but 'the Gimp'? ....where's my snappy dialogue? "
Maybe I should call Auther Andersen.
hmm, Project Mayhem....nice.
1. Pick up Michelle's dry cleaning. CHECK
2. Wash the Presidential Limo. CHECK
3. Tutor the girls in Math. WHY DID THEY CROSS THAT ONE OFF, I WONDER????
Wow, I found $217 we haven't spent yet !!!
Shit, McDonalds is looking for job references too.
Everybody else got a fucking chair.
And the music stopped...
"Are you kidding me?!!! The Fed keeps minutes of ALL it's meetings!!!"
Where are the chick pics?
Hello John...? I looked for the word vaporized and I can't find it anywhere. Can you tell me how you made 1.2 billion dollars disappear again?
The Wizard of Oz !!
This list of incriminating phone calls, emails, and documents that need to be burned keeps getting longer and longer...
I saw this fucking picture on CNBC. The douchebags on there commented saying "awwwwwww", "he looks so smart", etc. Fuck you CNBC.
'Oh Sh1t, I left those extra 00000000000's off my expenses claim'
"now this one goes to fireplace"
if only the epa hadn't already banned them..
Math is Hard!
"Thank you for your interest in Goldman Sachs. We'll keep your resume on file and notify you if a position matching your interests and abilities with Turbo Tax becomes available."
You're sitting on your W2 you fucking douche nozzle.
The music stopped.
...and all the chairs are taken.
"fuck you bernanke!" (ups)
"now for the world!" (downs)
Little Timmy G has been sent to the corner for being a bad little boy.
"Mr. Timmeh, your H&R Block representative will see you now."
"Oh shit! Blankfein told me that money was under the table! That fucker itemized it as a charitable contribution!"
Breath Timmy, breath...got to finish the last details of my new Keynesian Yoga proposal...should I call Turbo Tai-bo or Ponzi Pilates?
My resume is done but nobody will give me references
I'm waiting for my man Twenty-six dollars in my hand
Up to Lexington 125
Feeling sick and dirty, more dead than alive I'm waiting for my man Hey, white boy, what you doin' uptown? Hey, white boy, you chasin' our women around? Oh pardon me sir, it's furthest from my mind I'm just lookin' for a tinty friend of mine I'm waiting for my man Here he comes, he's all dressed in black PR shoes and a big straw hat He's never early, he's always late First thing you learn is you always gotta wait I'm waiting for my man Up to a Brownstone, up three flights of stairs Everybody's pinned you, but nobody cares He's got the works, gives you sweet taste Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste I'm waiting for my man Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you bawl and shout I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out I'm feeling good, I'm feeling so fine Until tomorrow, but that's just some other time I'm waiting for my man
Walk it home
Wait- before i give this speech- was it in billions or trillions ??
How does ButtHead memorize his lines ?
Fracking Federal purchasing specs! Eighty-seven pages of details and requirements for a simple trillion-dollar platinum coin? Who the hell is going to read all this? Just mint the damn thing......
Print a few bills & get my chair back !
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