Advice From The Department Of Homeland Security: "If Attacked By A Shooter, Grab Some Scissors"

Tyler Durden's picture

Via Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

Advice From The Department Of Homeland Security: "If Attacked By A Shooter, Grab Some Scissors"

We first heard about this from a New York Post article on the topic.  Then we watched the video for ourselves.  It’ll make you want to defund the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) immediately.  While the whole “grab scissors” to defend oneself during a mass shooting is pretty amusing, the more disturbing part is that 90% of the video just consists of people on their knees in cubicles cowering in fear or running panicked with their hands in the air.  All the while police in black uniforms and “assault weapons” race in to save the day!  The video is a great representation of how the DHS views the citizenry.  Feeble, helpless, pathetic little children.  You’ve gotta watch it for yourself! 

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nmewn's picture


Civilian homicidal maniacs prefer the unarmed matter how deranged they may be. Its no coincidence they rarely attack police stations or army barracks.

TBT or not TBT's picture

Actually, soldiers at Ft Hood, one of the largest army bases in the world, go unarmed.    It's a gun free zone except under narrowly controlled circumstances.   Local cops had to come save expensively trained killers from a colleague with a mere handgun, the retarded Five Seven or whatever the silly thing was called with the weird little high pressure cartridge.   Carrying on about Allahu Akbar and all that.

nmewn's picture

That crossed my mind (the Ft Hood massacre) and Ahhhnald in the Terminator when I wrote that. Thats why I said rarely.

Ft Hood is another example of, when seconds count, police or MP's are only minutes away ;-) 

FEDbuster's picture

"I carry a gun, because cops are too heavy."

RockyRacoon's picture

Nobody "needs" military-style scissors.  Does that mean I have to remove the pistol grip from my pinking shears to make them legal?

I sure do get tired of folks telling me what I do and don't NEED.  The Second Amendment doesn't rise to the level of need -- all I gotta do is WANT one.  As for the framers not having any concept of the modern armament now available, there was no restriction on having a cannon if I was a man of means and could afford one.   Sure would look great parked on the front porch as a warning.

TBT or not TBT's picture

Canons used in the revolutionary war, at least some of them, were privately owned.

Axenolith's picture

How to Hunt Wisconsin Whitetail Deer with a

12 pound Mountain Howitzer Cannon

nmewn's picture

Thats another good one Rocky...this ridiculous canard of modern rifles & pistols not envisioned by the founding fathers so therefore they would not ALLOW them to the people.

The musket was the modern weapon back then and they most certainly did want them in the hands of the people.

kill switch's picture



This assumes that the founders had no concept of innovation and future enhancements into production,,what a train of BS,,,,But I have all you fucking guys beat!! I have my Hello Kitty pink scissors,,so fucking Molon Labe!!! MUHAHAHAHAH

No, I have to confess,, Kimber Pro Covert II 45ACP Full Metal Jacket, Crimson Trace laser grips Tritium night sights and so forth...Now I really mean it MOLON LABE FUCKERS,,What the hell you only die once.

Bendromeda Strain's picture

C'mon man, you are rebutting Jon Liebowitz's line of argument. You are in serious danger of losing your hipster card...

(full disclosure: The only Daily Show in my house occurs in the smallest room and smells the same)

nmewn's picture

Yeah well, I have been known to lower my standards as the situation

Here's a good one (me thinks we've got the gun grabbers on the run) O'Barry supposedly shooting "ground skeet" ;-)

Bad Attitude's picture

RockyRacoon, I agree completely with what you are saying. However, I would like to add one additional thought... Nobody "needs" military-style scissors until they really NEED them. Similarly, nobody "needs" a fire extinguisher in their home until they have a fire and NEED a fire extinguisher.

TBT or not TBT's picture

Interesting.  The case for carrying a fire extiguisher is pretty strong, and if I recall those have been used in movies to take out bad guys, even some armed with full auto weapons.   Think Die Hard with the "I'm Mac" guy in it.

DosZap's picture

heard it last night on WGN. Chicago's gun problem is due to lax gun laws in WISCONSIN!

What did you expect?, Chicago Barrrrrrrrrrrhacks homies never admit they are wrong, it's ALWAYS someone or something else's faults.(just like HE does99% of the time).

Cistercian's picture

But..guns are illegal in Chicago.Just like heroin and cocaine.I bet you can't them there their either.

  I think instead of full-ass videos the .gov should send selective fire M4's to anyone 18 yrs or older.

Yea, that's the ticket.And rescind most idiotic gun laws.

  Then I can get a MG-42....WINNING!


  Yeah...the .gov really cares about us...enough to suppress and control us.They say be afraid.


  I say get a bigger gun, and learn how to use it.

krispkritter's picture

Dammit man! You're all wrong! Global Warming is causing the violence! I thought it was obvious?

(do I really need a sarc tag?)

nmewn's picture

No, you don'

Its funny how they can twist ANYTHING into a cause. But so can we...there is really no reason why any woman needs plastic surgery for a set of 38D's and then air brush the freckles off of them...its a conspiracy to defraud ;-)

NumberNone's picture

+1000.  Fucking sick of this messaging of disarmament.  It's actually racisim and it's code for 'disarm whitey'.  Nobody gives a shit about the thousands of murders in the ghettos each year.  No one's talking about going into these neighborhoods to take their weapons to clean them up an make them safe.  Somehow its always those POS Tea Party white guys and their assault weapons they focus on.  What's going on in the Democratic party and media is no different that what happened in WWII when the government dehumanized the enemy into Japs and Krauts with propaganda.  When the doors are kicked in to take the weapons and fathers, mothers, children are killed in these homes to take assault weapons the other side will have so dehumanized them that they will be those TeaBagger evil white guys getting what they deserve.  

Shell Game's picture

Exactly.  Emasculation and dehumanization is the MO.  All those zombie movies are conditioning this society for violence on a massive scale.  But we'll deserve it for daring to stand up to the government-god...


Get whitey!


Bad Attitude's picture

I did the math a long time ago. Tyrants/dictators/politicians prefer unarmed peasants. Gun control isn't about guns, it's about control.

TwoShortPlanks's picture

So you're the ONE!

Look, 10-15 years ago nobody in America hated America. Everyone hung flag from poles in their front yards. All of a sudden that sentiment has changed. Since everything's been going down-hill, it seems everyones' opinion of what America stands for has changed.

Since America has been going down-hill a mini Civil Cold War has emerged.

Tyrants, dictators and politicians and a corrupt government, corrupt Wall Street (London too) have ALWAYS been why the change in attitute all of a sudden?!

Let's face it, this isn't about Guns or Control...this is all about a sudden drop in the standard of living.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Three points:

1) I love my country. I am growing to despise my Government.
2) a fuckload of people are waking up, and while they were asleep, they realized that something took a huge fucking dump on them...
3) ... And they are starting to figure out what, exactly, that "something" is.

GetZeeGold's picture




So you're the ONE!


One of the millions that make up the majority.

CompassionateFascist's picture

Confess to being somewhat impressed with "2ShortPlanks". I did not know Sheriff Dupnick could read & write. 

willwork4food's picture

@ Two-You're right-the sudden drop in the standard of living bitched slapped millions of people to the reality that the fucks in Washington DC are subservient to Wall Street and not the ones that are actually forced to pay them their yearly raises. 911 started waking up some; losing half your savings woke up many others.

The Gun Controll thing is just an obvious blatant USSR move to make us vulnerable, further evaporate the Bill of Rights and create division among the population.

You might want to know there are quite a few of well trained soldiers that  will not cowar to the Bullshit DC brings out, and reverse allegiences.Will freedom win? Not great odds, giving the enormous amount of money the elitists have, but I for one, will be damned to sit back and drop my shorts so they can play hide the chicken without a fight.

Edelweiss's picture

  I applied for my CSP (concealed scissors permit) recently so I would always be prepared, but was denied based on my propensity to run with said scissors.  Should have listened to mom.  Looks like I'll have to settle for dumb ol' firearms to protect myself instead.

ZeroAvatar's picture

I don't keep scissors lying around all over the house.  A 3-foot long Samurai Sword, however......practically stumbling over 'em.

Pure Evil's picture

Why wasn't he at Sandy Hook when he was needed?

BidnessMan's picture

I gots to know ..... Did I use 5 blades or 6? Well, I kinda forgot myself. This is a 44 magnum pair of scissors, and it will cut your head cleeeaan off. Do ya feel lucky punk?

kliguy38's picture

definitely a william banzai moment there..............that should go viral

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Less than 5 yards: my 9 mm

More than 5 yards: my AK-47

CompassionateFascist's picture

Shortest path to a long life: avoid socialist "gun free zones".

EnslavethechildrenforBen's picture

Was that an illegal grip on those scissors?

nmewn's picture

Yes, its got an illegal glare suppressor on it too...probably unregistered, unlicensed and bought via a strawman at one of those hideous sewing shows we hear so much about.

The Shootist's picture

I'm sure they're already confiscating scissors in jolly old Britain.

nmewn's picture

Incredible isn't it?

Another, though older...

"Liberal Democrat shadow home secretary Chris Huhne said: "Unscrupulous shopkeepers who sell knives to kids are profiting from the violence on our streets.

"It is unacceptable that so few of them are being punished and those that do are being given such pitiful fines.

"If we are to tackle knife crime, a strong message must be sent to those who ply this deadly trade. Fining them a few hundred quid is not going to do that."

Same rhetoric different weapon...and after knives comes baseball bats...then finally, subsidized bubble wrap that progressives want everyone shrouded in ;-)

DaveyJones's picture

brings new meaning to the phrase "where are the good scissors?"

Bendromeda Strain's picture

Same rhetoric different weapon...and after knives comes baseball bats...then finally, subsidized bubble wrap that progressives want everyone shrouded in ;-)

First the changes come incrementally, then they come excrementally...

Pure Evil's picture

Now, let's all just admit that if we turn over our guns to the Federal government we'll all feel safer. The government will be there to protect us. And, just because a few of your co-workers are massacred by DHS prozac induced sleeper agents doesn't mean it wasn't worth the 45-minute wait for the heavily armed Federal SWAT teams to swoop in and apprehend the assailant after he's commited suicide upon the orders of his TSA handler giving instructions over earphones.

You know damn well its better to wait for the governmental to swoop in and protect you, so......,  on second thought, don't even think about picking up those scissors because when SWAT arrives they might accidentally suspect you of being a terrorist and shoot you.

otto skorzeny's picture

I thought alot of US SWAT teams spoke yiddish over their headsets like they did at Shady Hook?

Pure Evil's picture

You might have thought you heard yiddish, but it was all PIG-latin.

mkhs's picture

Stop that.  It's not kosher.

duo's picture

my wife goes to those quilting shows.  Is she a terrorist now?

nmewn's picture

Yes, no one needs more than one needle and no one uses a thimble to kill a deer.

See, its all "relative" ;-)