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Conclave Begins: Meet The Papal Candidates

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Today is the day all Robert Langdon fans have been feverishly waiting for: the 115 voting cardinals of the Catholic church begin today their secret conclave to choose the successor to Pope Benedict XVI.

As Bloomberg puts it succinctly, "he who enters the conclave a pope exits as a cardinal" and it is notoriously tricky to try to handicap the papal vote. In processional next steps, the Cardinals will gather in the Sistine Chapel, hailing from as far as the Philippines, and may hold a single vote today with as many as four ballots on succeeding days. Politically, this conclave has been presented as a "struggle between cardinals looking to overhaul the Vatican bureaucracy known as the Curia, and those trying to maintain its influence, according to Vatican analysts. Electing a non-European, while a novelty, would not necessarily presage a change of course for the millennia-old institution shaken by the abdication of German-born Benedict. Pope Benedict XVI was chosen on the second day of the last conclave in 2005, while John Paul II was selected on the third day of the 1978 conclave." Realistically, it will be a free for all for the scandal-riven church, and it is very much an open question who the next pope will be.

So while we await the puffs of white smoke, courtesy of Bloomberg here are brief biographies of some of the men who may be in the running, based on betting websites and consulting Vatican watchers.

Francis Arinze (Nigeria)
 

Francis Arinze (Nigeria):

Born: Nov. 1, 1932.

Arinze would be the first black pope and the first African pope for more than 1,500 years -- the last was Gelasius I, who reigned at the end of the fifth century and was from North Africa of Berber origin. A social and theological conservative, Arinze’s views on celibacy, women priests, homosexuality and contraception are considered close to those of Benedict XVI.

Christoph Schonborn (Austria)

Christoph Schonborn (Austria):

Born: Jan 22, 1945.

The cardinal has guided Vienna through church scandals including allegations of priests using pornography and engaging in pedophilia. Considered a brilliant conservative theologian, he speaks French, English, Italian, Spanish and Latin, and has traveled widely on behalf of the Vatican, including trips to Moscow and Istanbul. He studied under Cardinal Josef Ratzinger, who became Benedict XVI, after becoming a priest at the age of 25. He is in favor of dialog between Catholicism and Islam, and was the highest-ranked church official to visit Iran after the 1980-88 Iran-Iraq war.

Peter Turkson (Ghana)

Peter Turkson (Ghana):

Born: Oct. 11, 1948

Turkson, who studied theology in New York, is younger than Arinze and was called “one of Africa’s most energetic church leaders” by The Tablet, an influential British Catholic magazine, and in 2009 said that “if God would wish to see a black man also as pope, thanks be to God.” He has engaged with contemporary issues, including the global economic crisis by calling for more oversight of financial institutions and he has denounced the “idolatry of the market.”

Marc Ouellet (Canada)

Marc Ouellet (Canada):

Born: June 8, 1944

The cardinal from Quebec is an accomplished theologian whose writings were admired by Benedict, whose concerns about the modernization of the church he shared. “It would seem that, in the name of secularism, the Bible must be relativized, to be dissolved in a religious pluralism and disappear as a normative cultural reference,” Ouellet said in 2011 in his powerful role as prefect of the Congregation for Bishops. Ouellet became a priest in 1968 in the very church that his father built in La Motte, Quebec. He later taught at a seminary in Bogota, Colombia and served as prefect of the Congregation for Bishops and president of the Pontifical Commission for Latin America, making him well known among Spanish-speaking clergy.

Leonardo Sandri (Argentina)

Leonardo Sandri (Argentina):

Born: Nov. 18, 1943

The man who announced the death of John Paul II to the world in 2005, is a native of Buenos Aires who was born to a family of Italian immigrants. He rose to the heights of the church hierarchy to occupy the third most-important position in the Vatican between 2000 and 2007 as de facto chief of staff to the secretary of state. He now has a lower profile as head of the Congregation for the Oriental Churches. He has served in Madagascar, Venezuela, Mexico and the U.S. and as the Vatican’s representative to the Organization of American States.

Angelo Scola (Italian)

Angelo Scola (Italy):

Born: Nov. 7, 1941

The Archbishop of Milan is the front-runner among the Italians, who until the 1970s had a virtual lock on the papacy. With Benedict he shared philosophical and theologian interests and his writings on a range of topics from bio-ethics to sexuality have been published in different languages.

Odilo Scherer (Brazil)

Odilo Scherer (Brazil):

Born: Sept. 21, 1949

A Brazilian of German descent, Scherer is Archbishop of Sao Paolo and as such oversees 6 million Catholics in the country’s biggest archdiocese. In the birthplace of liberation theology, he struck a moderate tone by seeing worth in focusing on social injustice and poverty while reserving criticism for the movement’s “Marxism.”

 

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Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:02 | 3322005 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Ben Bernanke for Pope. 

 

Ben is so well practiced at nailing the vast majority of Americans up the cheeks.

 

Ben would fit right in (no pun intended) at the Vatican.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:05 | 3322011 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

There's a 300 page report awaiting the new pope covering the homosexual problem within the church. From what I hear, it's BAD.

Those in power were engaging in acts and bringing it upon the new priests.
Celibacy is required and makes sense as these people are supposed to be of a higher class morally and spiritually than the rest of us.

Everything has gone down the shitter since vatican 2. Hope is that a tradionalist will get the papacy and clean house, maybe undo to the ills.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:11 | 3322029 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

All those pictured above certainly look scary enough to be head of that monster.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:53 | 3322340 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Interesting. I was going to link to some seriously scary photos of my odds-on candidate Cardinal Bertone, I saw them a few days ago when Tyler first posted the odds on the papal candidates. Now most of them are gone. Google images and the NSA doesn't want us to see what Photoshop can do to make him look evil? Look quick, they haven't deleted all of them yet.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:17 | 3322049 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Celebacy is all about not loosing property and wealth during divorces and nothing else...

The real burning question for the new pope is: Are 32 ouncer's a sin ???

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:03 | 3322754 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

I was wondering about that.  If you have the qualities  to make it to bishop or even higher you are ALPHA.  As a high value male you will take what you need and the pussy will be offered freely.  Confession must be like reading Penthouse Forum............and then he ........and I................ Marrige would only complicate this.   

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:19 | 3322058 busted by the b...
busted by the bailout's picture

What does celibacy have to do with morality and spirituality?

Can't a person be married and moral and spiritual?

Celibacy is the real perversion, imo.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:31 | 3322097 Id fight Gandhi
Id fight Gandhi's picture

In simplest terms, look at men. Look at how much time, money and their life they go around chasing sex. Many of those forms of sex are viewed sinful by the church.

Now imagine what a man could do if he had no activity in any of that. A lot. They're job is to morally and spiritually guide their church (and yes many are failing us).

Marriage is a bad idea, because their focus is their people. Ministers of the prots have to juggle the their church and family.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:43 | 3322133 BobPaulson
BobPaulson's picture

Turns out renouncing one of your instincts, male or female, doesn't correlate well with never thinking about it anymore. Hormones might be a better solution if you don't mind the cancer risk.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:20 | 3322247 busted by the b...
busted by the bailout's picture

The source of sexual desire is biology, and that is why trying to deny it is a perversion.  Attempting to do so, especially by fiat or decree (such as by a religious organization) is doomed to failure by often leading to other harmful behaviors such as pedophilia, imo.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:28 | 3322744 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

Your arguement is ridiculous.  You are describing animals, where it is okay to hump one's brothers, sisters, children or anything else that moves.  We were created in God's image, with a will to deny the urges of our animal biology. 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:38 | 3322784 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

The early chuch wasn't celibate to my understanding and it only became so afterwards.  The reason for adopting celibacy I wonder might have more to do with marrige than sex.  What man could do his job as a priest with some jelous shrew of a wife at home that knows all about her communities womens hypergamy.  Celibacy freed these men from thos complications.  

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:44 | 3323009 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

Yes, freed them to master theology, to acquire foreign languges, and pray without ceasing. The church, Orthodoxy/Catholicism has always had clergy and monastics.  Priests and monks.  Monks have been celibate since St. Paul walked the earth.  Bishops, archbishops, metropolitans, patriarchs, cardinals, have always been celibate. 

But the most important reason is self-denial, sacrifice. 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:16 | 3323146 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

But freeing monk's and priests from marrige freeed them from the marrige contract.  It didn't stop them from having sex.  Read "The Devils of Loudon" by  Huxley.  Its a history of the the events surrounding the death of a priest, he was tortured and burned at the stake.   The priest was banging everything in sight and the crime he was burned for was the (false) accusation of demonically  possesing a certain mother superior and the rest of the nuns in that convent -  Shows at 10am and 2pm. 

Huxley says thats S. Jeane the mother superior, had the hots for the priest, and he rejected her.   She then went batshit crazy and according to one observer of the public spectacles the nuns engaged in,  said.....looks like FUROR UTERINUS to me. 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 15:40 | 3323540 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

You want to believe people can't abstain from sex, all sex solo and otherwise, because it frightens you...as it should.  It frightens laymen, and terrifies knaves. 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:25 | 3323681 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

I think sex is hardwired into us.  The discipline required to abstain is not commonly possible.   Why is rape so common in conquering armies.  I am not saying it is impossible, it is up to the individual. In a collective to get 100% compliance without severe corporal punishment for violation not likely.

Sex is a biological function, celibacy is a mental function to resist our nature. 

why should I be frighted of it  

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:07 | 3323108 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Assuming you are correct about that "God's image" thing, what do you suppose God does with Her sex organs?  Does She deny Her animal biology as well?  Or does She hump Her "brothers, sisters, children or anything else that moves"?  She must have those relationships if She was truly created in our image and us in Hers.

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:13 | 3323133 akak
akak's picture

If God is omnipresent and immaterial (as he/she must be in order to be omnipresent), then how could humanity have been created in his/her own image?  How can something be immaterial, and yet still have an 'image'?

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 16:10 | 3323415 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

Jesus Christ is the icon of theTriune God, in whose image we were created.

Wed, 03/13/2013 - 13:25 | 3326407 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Akak, " creating us in his image" refers to sentience NOT a literal image. The idea God is some well hung man floating on a cloud in some nebulous space is just laughable and pathetic. We humans can only think in terms of male and female because that is the limit of our experience. We therefore ascribe this to god in a poor attempt at understanding his essence.(, I must use the traditional male as a description of god because there is no word that can be used in language to refer to god). god is neither male or female. In his image refers to the ability of thinking in terms of right and wrong, concepts that animals can not share with us. This comes from my being raised an Anglican though I am not churched. I have a basic abhorrence to organized religion, just as I have for people who adhere to the red/ blue team belief. It's a form of divide and conquer, use vs them. The powerful are attracted to it for they see an opportunity to gain control over many as you and I so painfully know. I do consider myself a christian as one who follows Christ's teachings but my faith has no dogma nor strick rules that force rigidity. I'm a great lover of the tactile sensualities of this world prudistic Chritians would find disturbing. But with all my hedonistic tendencies, I do find a great depth of spiritually and joy. It's all about balance and never letting anything rule ones soul. I hope you don't find all Christians buffoons. Really, some of us do have a few fascination thoughts occasionally! :-)

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 15:31 | 3323518 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

I don't know where to begin with your confusion.  First, God is male, and we retain our gender in the Kingdom.  There is no sexual desire in heaven, that passes away with this world. God was not created, the Son was not created but begotten, the Holy Spirit, not created but proceeding from the Father. 

Okay, i already hear the outrage....oh the chauvinism!  Mary, Mother of God, Queen of Heaven, is the highest of all created beings, higher than the angels, more honorable than the Cherubim, beyond compare more glorious than the Seraphim.

You really should know this stuff, even if you don't believe it.  All of your forebears knew it, and if they rejected it, at least they knew what they were rejecting.  The demons know it. 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:47 | 3323963 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

So you claim God is male?  And He has a Y chromosome?   He must have a penis too then, eh?  Or else what would define his maleness?  What does He use His Holy Penis for?  To urinate or for sex?

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 17:58 | 3323995 akak
akak's picture

God has a penis so that he can jerk off when his "chosen people" invade and annihilate their enemies, indescriminately putting all non-"chosen" men, women and children to the sword and the torch.

Oh, wait, that is only in the OLD Testament.

Maybe God has since seen the errors of his former ways?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 19:34 | 3324270 Raymond Reason
Raymond Reason's picture

Well, this is becoming sophomoric, but you raise a legitimate question, and the answer is not easy to grasp, if you cling to the notion that life is a hobbit village.  Life's grand drama is a battlefield, and the battle was hottest up until the birth of Mary, because you see, it was a battle of genetics.  Yes God does possess a y chromosome, and if a blood test were performed on Jesus Christ, there would be 23 from Mary plus 1 y.  Fallen angels infected the human gene pool, but the Hebrews kept meticulous records, the whole point was to preserve the human genome....Mary. 

But the battle goes on. 

We have the potential to become the highest of God's creations, but we must pilgrim through the valley of shadow of death to get there.   Of course the highest of rewards, is coupled with the greatest of risks. 

Take it for what you will.  I'm done. 

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:05 | 3322189 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

People of lots of religions practice celibacy - some Hindus, Buddhists, etc.   The Dali Lama is celebate.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:12 | 3322209 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

That's right officer, those are the two boys religious leaders that were whackin off in my tool shed.  They were whacking and whacking...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:23 | 3322070 stiler
stiler's picture

cleaN HOUSE?

What did Jesus say to the Pharisees about cleaning the outside of the cup while the inside is full of dead men's bones? There is no cleaning house. This is not even an apostate church. It's Roman, but neither holy nor church. Perpetual sacrifice: thyratira. Jesus sacrificed himself once for all (book of Hebrews), not perpetually.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:10 | 3322212 Abaco
Abaco's picture

Ponder time. Ponder Eternity. Ponder quantum physics and time travel. There is no perpetual sacrifice.  It is a one time sacrifice for all which is made present at the mass. You should understand a thing before criticizing it.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:11 | 3322215 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Everything has gone down the shitter since vatican 2...

From what i read in the news, it would seem it's going the other direction.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:59 | 3322349 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

You hit the nail on the head.  A guy named Sr. Rossi, 72 years of age, who worked at the Vatican for years said “I worked there for years.  Believe me, I came to know a few things.”  [referring to 'bad things']  After seeing Oulett in Italy, these people said the following telling comments:

“I found him simpatico,” he said of Ouellet, 68. “We need younger people like him or we’re not going to resolved anything.” "The cardinal, Rossi added, seems to have the backbone and political smarts to whip an unruly Vatican bureaucracy into shape."

Parishioner Santo Strati, a freelance writer who has seen Ouellet preach several times, described him as “a great papal candidate.  He’s younger than a lot of others, he’s well cultured and has good experience all around,” added Strati, 62. “The church needs someone who can spark the interest even of non-Catholics. There’s a great loss of faith that increases every day.”

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/03/10/vatican_conclave_buzz_is_c...

I dare say that's the exact same theme with Mark Carney's being handed the seat at the Bank of England (a non-Brit), something that has 'never' happened in the 309 year history of that bank.  It's pretty clear that whoever becomes Pope, his job is going to be to "clean up the mess and deal with the perps with some authority".  Mark Carney is expected to really shake things up at the BOE as well.  I hate to harp on this but there's just so much coincidence that's so obvious that it's flat out eerie.  Something's up, I'm sure of it.

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:07 | 3322019 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Please let it be the black Peter to be the pope - that will get the conspiracy sites going!

Proponents of the prophecies claim that Pope Benedict XVI corresponded to the pope described in the penultimate prophecy. The list ends with a pope identified as "Peter the Roman", whose pontificate will allegedly bring the destruction of the city of Rome and usher in the beginning of the Apocalypse.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:09 | 3322025 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

Man spends his life in folly when finally, wisely he finds his way to the right hand of God... only to have some cone head wedge his way in between as he reassuringly whispers "I'll let you know what He wants."

"Every man his own priest."  -- Martin Luther

I know there's more to it than this.  I know it's a big topic.  Isn't this really of interest to Roman Catholics?  Why does the media spend so much time trying to convince the rest of us that we should even care?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:12 | 3322218 Abaco
Abaco's picture

The idiot Luther got real upset when people took him at his word and stopped listeneing to him. His problem was that he thought he should be pope.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:31 | 3322282 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

I'm no religious scholar and I'll take you at your word.  Your evaluation fits very well with what I've learned of human nature generally.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:16 | 3322046 PUD
PUD's picture

More than anything I can think of this epitomizes the abject stupidity of the human primate. 1.2 billion fools hanging on a gaggle of old virgins in dresses decision as to who will be the next vicar of christ on earth. 1.2 billion fools who support a vile decadent institution that made the nazis look like honor scouts with their thousand year reign of terror and totalitarianism. Witch burners, pedophiles, money launderers, suppressors of knowledge, tyrants, warmongers, perpetrators of genocide on a massive global scale. 

The only thing good that could come of this would be if the newly erected chimney led to an oven where lesbian nuns fed the fire with the corpses of priests day and night until they were all reduced to garden fertilizer.

Want to know how I really feel?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:13 | 3322222 Abaco
Abaco's picture

No. I'd ask you what you think but from your rant there is very little thought going on.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:25 | 3322264 PUD
PUD's picture

feel free to give a different version of history if you like. I'll chew you up and spit you out. I know of what I speak

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:19 | 3322047 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

Ok, I want to run something past you folks in a totally sincere comment.   It's just possible something really, really strange and concocted is going on here.  As you're reading this, keep in mind that Mark Carney was recently handed the seat as governor of the Bank of England.

I am a Canadian and I was raised Catholic.  I don't follow any religion these days because my entire philosophy about what 'religion' is has been altered forever as I grow older.  Nonetheless, I have never heard of Cardinal Marc Oullett until I read a story about him in the newspaper on the weekend.  Here's the scoop:

Cardinal Oulett is from a small ass village out in the middle of nowhere called La Motte, population 439 people.  Mark Carney is from the Northwest Territories, eskimo country, out in the middle of nowhere.  Cardinal Oulett is not only a hockey fan but a hockey player.  Mark Carney was a hockey goalie.  You might argue that 'all' Canadians play hockey so that one doesn't count.  And you might have a point but...

Cardinal Oulett is described as having the face of a pugilist but a brilliant man when it comes to politics, and a very gifted speaker in many languages.  He's among the youngest of the candidates to be Pope, if not 'the' youngest.  Mark Carney is young.  He's also a gifted speaker and has been called the "only central banker in the world who is still respected".  We'll see how long that lasts once he takes his position in England in July.

Cardinal Oulett very recently said a mass in Italy, and gave a sermon in perfect Italian that is reported to have 'blown them out of the water".  He also speaks fluent Spanish (and maybe other languages, I don't know.)  So we know he speaks 4 languages fluently, but that's not out of the ordinary for Popes.  Anyway...

Both men are Canadians named Marc (Mark)

Both men are considered brilliant, more brilliant than their predecessors by a long shot

Both men hockey players (I suppose that one's a gimmee and doesn't count)

Both men emerged basically from out of nowhere (remote, isolated locations)

Both men are young among their peers

Both men taking over the helm of the largest and darkest banking centers that ever existed, the Bank of England and the Bank of the Vatican.  Illuminati certainly comes to mind.

Call me crazy if you want, but I'm tellin' ya, if Cardinal Marc Oulett is named the next Pope you can bet your ass something strange is going on.  Those two 'promotions' would be just way, way too much to be coincidence.  It would be 'contrived' with 100% certainty and there would be a message in there somewhere.  You have to admit, that's just too much to be a coincidence.

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:23 | 3322074 NoClueSneaker
NoClueSneaker's picture

Like :-) Marc Oullett as a consolidation of Goldman Empire ... hehehe

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:30 | 3322094 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

For some reason I wasn't permitted to edit that comment.  I wanted to add this:  Recently Pope Benedict "retired".  WTF are they talking about?  No Pope ever retires.  He was told to move over, and nobody tells the Pope to "move over" except god.  And by "god" I mean the fucking banking mafia.  That's 'why' the word "Illuminati" comes screaming to the forefront.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:03 | 3322183 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

How many Popes lived to be 85?   The reason this is new is that they're simply living longer than their predecessors.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:25 | 3322252 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

I understand what you're suggesting but age has nothing to do with it.  The Papacy is not something you "just give up because you're getting tired".  It's a position the Pope is supposed to hold until his death.  Popes don't retire from the position of 'representing Jesus' just to go on a well deserved vacation.  Even if he's 137 years of age, he's the boss until the end... unless his mind is going.  There's nothing wrong with Benedict's mind.  I say he was asked to "shove over, we've got something else planned".

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:38 | 3322311 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

Who says?   You?   Benedict is 85, and neither you nor I have any idea about how well his mind is working or what the physical challenges of the job are.   I doubt that there are many - if any - heads of state who are older than him.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:01 | 3322368 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

You're not paying attention.  Most Popes are 80 when they get elected.  Yes, says me.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:20 | 3322456 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

You are saying a lot of things that aren't true.  (Thanks for making me review the list of Popes' ages on Wikipedia, since you prefer to just write fiction.)

According to Wiki, NO pope has been elected at age 80 or older.   And, only one lived to be older than 85. 

I'd bet that Benedict knows a little more about these things than you do. 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:43 | 3322559 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

Dude, you're paying even less attention than I thought.  I was exaggerating to make the point.  Maybe you should stand up because the theme is going right over your head.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:52 | 3322596 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

Then cite some authority - other than the way you think things ought to be - for your assertion that the Pope must serve until death.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:02 | 3322648 Albertarocks
Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:24 | 3323168 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

A blog?   Seriously?  Maybe you can be the Pope of the Church of Blog.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:05 | 3322880 JimBowie1958
JimBowie1958's picture

You were not exagerating to make a point.

You were simply making shit up because you dont know what the fuck you are talking about.

Eat shit.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:08 | 3323116 Albertarocks
Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:12 | 3322418 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Nah, Popes die at their posts. Historically poison and suffocation by pillow being the most common cause of death but they don't retire. Benedict was told to move on. By whom for what reason is unknown but he didn't just wake up and say "I think I'm going to change a 1000+ years of tradition just because I feel like it." Mark my words, five years from now you will look at these events and say "That circus act was a lot more important than I thought at the time". Strong currents are moving under the surface.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:07 | 3322889 JimBowie1958
JimBowie1958's picture

Meh, Benedict likely resigned from age affects coupled with the demoralization of finding out that the Curia has been thoroughly infiltrated by homosexuals and pedophiles.

It might be better to move the Papacy to Cameroon and nuke Rome to remove the contagion.

Those corrupt Italian bastards have been poluting God's church for centuries now. It's long past time it stopped.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:48 | 3322329 bunnyswanson
bunnyswanson's picture

It appears from the successful global asset transfer (collateral), trilateralists in high positions, consolidations and hoarding, grip around the throats of judicial system, politicians in their pockets, they've dotted all of their i's and dotted every goddam t.

Houston, We Have A Problem

Help Wanted:  Heroes, Must submit to background check.  Bad credit okay.

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:00 | 3322364 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

You'll have to show me how Oulett can be Peter the Roman, the last of the popes, and I'll go with your theory. Otherwise I'm staying with Bertone.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:11 | 3322414 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

Haha, where's a bookie when ya need one?

Seriously though, I'm in no position to know.  Nor to provide you "how" Oulett can be Petrus Romanus, nor did I suggest he would be.  Neither did I suggest he would be the last of the popes.  You apparently are of the opinion that the next pope 'will be' the last pope, and for all we know you might be right about that.  But I never suggested that.   The next pope doesn't have to be the 'last' pope.  If you could show me 'how the next pope is the last pope', I'll go with your theory, lol.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:20 | 3322458 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

If I can spin a situation in to an entertaining conspiracy I will, I promise. All the last pope conjecture is based on a several hundred year old prediction that is not generally accepted as valid. Still it fits well with my penchant for good conspiracy theories and therefore I will entertain it. I follow the Fibonacci rule for commenting on ZeroHedge- 61.8% of comments should be tongue-in-cheek while the remainder are serious. The reader is required to determine which is which.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:40 | 3322543 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

Haha.  Cool... you can be my friend.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:24 | 3322075 Wjunk
Wjunk's picture

As Bloomberg puts it succinctly, "he who enters the conclave a pope exits as a cardinal" and it is notoriously tricky to try to handicap the papal vote.

That's because, in spite of the best efforts of man and logic, God is the ultimate influencing agent and regardless of what they think they might be doing, the end result will reflect His will, not man's.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:44 | 3322135 sdmjake
sdmjake's picture

I really hope you are right and that the Creator of the Universe is going to come impose His will in this decision but, if you really think that is going to happen it is probably time to put down the bong. Just sayin.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:09 | 3322899 JimBowie1958
JimBowie1958's picture

What he asserted is based on an item of faith, that the Magisterium is guided by the Holy Ghost.

If you dont hold that same faith, then it would make no sense to you.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:51 | 3322150 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

snicker

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:36 | 3322479 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

They missed in 1978 and got the wrong guy so a month later a deep voice was heard from the sky saying "Okay, try again"

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:29 | 3322091 smart girl
smart girl's picture

I'm going to mass this morning and praying for you.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:32 | 3322100 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

While we await the selection of the next CEO of the original' and probably still the largest, global corporation, it serves as a reminder that sin always sells.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:36 | 3322112 stiler
stiler's picture

this whole thing is a farce. They have taken a vow of secrecy? Like the Illuminati?

The Christian faith was never about secrecy or vows. Jesus said "let your yes be yes and no, no." Jesus always taught in the temple openly, never in secret. What he told his disciples, they then shared with everyone as the new testament. Go tell the Waldenseeians or other medieval xians that the Catholics are "good" and see what they say. Oh, wait, they couldn't speak to you, bec they were totally wiped out by a pope.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:15 | 3322230 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

Jesus did not always teach in the open.  At times he was alone with a few of his apostles, and all 12 of them at the last supper.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:54 | 3322334 stiler
stiler's picture

Yes, but it says he taught openly inthe temple. If he was alone with disciples it was to teach only them as their rabbi. After Matthew 12 Jesus only taught in parables which the people could not understand. Prior to that he taught them with explanations. That's bec healing a man with a demon who couldn't speak (thus being able to cast him out since you knew his name) was considered a miracle only messiah would be able to do. All Israel knew this, esp the Pharisees. So when Jesus healed the man, casting the demon out, the Pharisees rejected his messiahship, saying HE had a demon. This is the beginning of the end for that generation in Israel (except for believing jews)Z. From that point on, the 70 AD judgment was set and there was nothing they could say or do to get out of it. 

Zechariah 11.8 "Three shepards shall I cut off in one month; and my soul loathed them and their soul also abhorred me" [Pharisees, Saducees, and scribes] All of chapter 11 is about the 70 AD slaughter of Israel by the Romans. "poor of the flock" = believers. these were able to get out of Jerusalem bec they believed Jesus' words in Luke 21.

 

 

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:12 | 3322427 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

Doesn't the Bible talk about the apostles being locked in a room together, after the resurrection? 

The Cardiinals are not "teaching" right now.  They are praying and making a decision together with the aid of the Holy Spirit.

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:40 | 3322126 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Pope odds (Via Betfair): Scola 30%, Scherer 15%, Turksin 13%, Erdo 10%, Bertone 9%, Ouellet 8%, O'Malley 6%, Von Schonborn 6%.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:51 | 3322336 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

There is another good candidate, Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle of Manila, the Philippines, of Chinese heritage, young in his 50s and bright and friendly and cheerful

Maybe he even has a secret plan to let most of the priests marry, and at last admit that it is ok to use condoms

Tho people forget that there are already actually some permitted married Roman Catholic male priests

In the Middle East they let some priests marry, who are part of 'Uniate' groups that used to be Orthodox, where priests are allowed to be married if they marry before becoming priests

Catholics have also allowed some Anglican - Episcopalian priests to become Catholic and keep their wives

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:10 | 3323126 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

What are Berlusconi's odds?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:50 | 3322149 I Ching
I Ching's picture

Isn't there a cardinal who used to work for Goldman?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 09:51 | 3322153 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

The real pounding-in the-ass-conclave goes on behind closed doors. Kiss my Ring says the Cardinal to the Vatican bodyguard, and bash my Bishop while you're at it!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:02 | 3322181 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

I question the degree of "infiltration" but I do believe that the 1960's liberalism infected the Church just as it did about every other institution here in America.  Also at this time, psychologists believed and taught that the 1st step in "curing" pedophilia was to transfer and relocate the abuser from the victim.   This contributed to the perception that priests were "shuffled" in a cover-up.  In most jurisdictions during the 60s and 70s, prosecutors and victims were unwilling to force prosecution of child molesters, whether the molester be a teacher, priest, or family member (especially if a deal could be arranged where the abuser would be sent to another city, away from the victim).

At any rate, the priests coming out of the American seminaries these days are very conservative, having grown up during the social decline of our country.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:05 | 3322191 W74
W74's picture

From a sheer Geopolitical standpoint an African Pope would do well to bolster support in the Sahel and curb the spread of Islamic influence and radicalism. 

Now, I'm neither for nor totally against Islam.  As long as they remain dedicated to wiping out the Israeli Wehrmacht trying to steal a bit of Lebensraum in Palestine then I guess we can be cool.  I have been to a few Islamic countries and know enough that I'd rather not live under that influence, but maybe they can get the job done.  I'd rather not see Africa Islamicized, could you imagine a mostly 65-85 IQ population motivated by religious fanaticism?  That would not be pretty.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:07 | 3322195 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

How many young boys did they truck in for this meeting?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:10 | 3322908 JimBowie1958
JimBowie1958's picture

Only you in your dreams, fuckface

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:11 | 3322213 forrestdweller
forrestdweller's picture

there is no god. there is no transcendent entity that rules our lives.

our live is for the greater part still unpredictable, so it helps us to believe there is some omnipotent entity ruling our lives, and if we are nice to him, he will be nive to us.

but if you look at it from a distance, it is utter nonsense.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:22 | 3322255 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

It is simply amazing to see a group of people assembled, even more corrupt than Congress.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:37 | 3322306 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Shared elsewhere:

Vatican department shares Rome palazzo with gay sauna

"Also on offer are "bear parties", which are advertised on its website with a video of a man stripping down before donning clerical attire.

Bruno, "a hairy, overweight pastor of souls, is free to the music of his clergyman, remaining in a thong, because he wants to expose body and soul", the website says.

The Vatican has declined to comment on the proximity of the sauna to the headquarters of the Congregation for the Evangelisation of Peoples"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21753860#sa-ns_mchannel=rss&ns_so...

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:39 | 3322314 summer09
summer09's picture

Bill Donohue points at the facts:

“The scandal did not involve children—less than 5 percent of the victims were prepubescent. The typical offense involved “inappropriate touching” of postpubescent males. In other words, it was a homosexual scandal. Furthermore, it ended more than a quarter century ago: the number of credibly accused priests over the last decade has averaged in the single digits, among a population of more than 40,000. No religious or secular group can match that proportion today.

 

Today attention has turned to the public schools where sex abuse is rampant, as well as to elite private schools such as Horace Mann in the Bronx; the Orthodox Jewish community is currently facing dozens of cases. Still, old cases involving priests get most of the press.”    Of course it does, bigots can’t help themselves

 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:45 | 3322325 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Whew, I'm glad you posted, that certainly makes it better.  Almost okay, even!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:59 | 3322360 summer09
summer09's picture

Why would any abuse be OK?  Even one instance it unacceptable, which is why I hope other instituions can address the problem. Maybe a little more attention from the media will help them along.  But I'm glad you do not dispute the facts provided; namely the abuse largely ended in the mid-80s as homosexual priests left and, most importantly, unlike what is going on in many other institutions this abuse is now almost non-existent.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:03 | 3322373 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

it's called sarcasm, Euclid.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:13 | 3322916 JimBowie1958
JimBowie1958's picture

Sarcasm is all you've got, dude. No facts, no reason and no common sense; you are hopeless, helpless and unarmed in a war of minds.

Fuck you, too, while I am at it.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:43 | 3323253 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

go smack it to some nun porn, you grey headed old fucking boomer twink.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 10:59 | 3322361 summer09
summer09's picture

Why would any abuse be OK?  Even one instance it unacceptable, which is why I hope other instituions can address the problem. Maybe a little more attention from the media will help them along.  But I'm glad you do not dispute the facts provided; namely the abuse largely ended in the mid-80s as homosexual priests left and, most importantly, unlike what is going on in many other institutions this abuse is now almost non-existent.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:04 | 3322376 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

it's still sarcasm, you fucking rainman

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:08 | 3322403 L_Conquistador
L_Conquistador's picture

The Veritus program, which has been adopted by the Church, keeps children safe and keeps the Church safe from false accusations.  I have no problem dropping off my kids at Catholic schools each day.

The critics of the Church who incessantly point at the abuse scandal could do some actual good by focusing on kids' groups (secular and religious) in their own communities.   Pedophiles target such groups, and each group needs to discuss and implement written policies.   Primarily, no kid(s) should be alone with just one adult, ever.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:34 | 3322511 arnoldsimage
arnoldsimage's picture

whew... glad you are wearing your sarcasm monitor this morning.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:02 | 3322369 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Why are all of those old men dressed as wizards?

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:05 | 3322382 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

it helps to lure the young boys in to the "magic the gathering" tournament tent. wink wink.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:19 | 3322452 stiler
stiler's picture

it's all adulterous to the core. you believers in Christ need to get out of her bec they teach fornication.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:36 | 3322526 arnoldsimage
arnoldsimage's picture

wouldn't surprise me one bit if an ex-goldmanite scored the position.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 11:57 | 3322624 Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ's picture

I wish that ZH readers were 1/10th as knowledgable about Christianity as they are about economics. Many of you guys are the Paul Krugmans of Christianity.
I never sanctioned the Catholic church. As much as I love Ann Barnhardt for her courage and devotion to me, she is wrong about that one issue. Otherwise, you need to listen to what she has to say. I will give you examples, clearly evident in scripture, that debunk the Catholic church.

1. I came to pay for the sins of ALL mankind. Therefore, my mother was NOT sinless (duh). This strange doctrine simply has no place in the very essence of who I am, and without it, the Catholic church would self-destruct. Worshipping my mother (and other saints) is called IDOLATRY. They are men and women, just like you are.

2. Although my mother practiced sexual abstinence prior to My conception and birth, this does not mean that the burden of sexual abstinence is supposed to be universally practiced by all priests. The Apostle Peter, on who the Catholic church is allegedly based, HAD A WIFE. There are definite benefits to sexual abstinence when trying to understand my word and gain intimacy with Me, but abstinence does NOT make you holy. Only I do that. When priests are forbidden to marry, it opens the door for ALL TYPES of sexual perversion to later follow, including the “Marxists homosexuals.” Sex with men and children is rationalized, because it does not involve “defiling” yourself with a woman. So, do all the priests out there really rationalize to themselves that I would rather have them molesting boys than getting married? Or, that I would rather have them engaging in adult homosexual sex, than simply fornicating with adult women? Very scary.

1Timothy 4:1-3
But the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons, by means of the hypocrisy of liars seared in their own consciences as we a branding iron, men who forbid marriage and advocate abstaining from foods, which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth.

(Let me clarify this scripture. The “hypocrisy of liars” simply means telling other to do something that you yourself cannot do.)

1 Corinthians 9:5
Do we not have the right to take along a believing wife, even as the rest of the apostles, and the brothers of the Lord (James and Jude), and Cephas (Peter)?

In this passage, Paul is talking about his VOLUNTARY sexual abstinence, as compared to the other APOSTLES (including Peter) who are married. Why are priests supposed to be celibate when Peter himself was married? Houston, we have a problem.

3. I came to make all men saints. Period. That was the primary point of my mission. The Catholic church tries to usurp “sainthood” to themselves, by conferring “sainthood" on a select few men. This is an abomination in my eyes, and is in direct opposition to what I came to do. I came to make it possible for ALL men to become perfect, and not a select few. This is a spirit of CONTROL, pure and simple.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 15:34 | 3323487 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Hezeus, good points, I too have a protestant educated background and agree w/ what you've stated, however, IMO the body of the I Am, would too include Catholics who believe on Him and I must remind that this "Holy Roman Catholic Church" was the vehicle through which Christianity spread through the world, so if you believe on God, you believe He chose this route. On an interesting note, should Peter of Ghana get the Papal vote, it'd be interesting("Petrus Romanus" prophecy, and all)

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:06 | 3322661 magpie
magpie's picture

I can't stand the hypocrisy of the RC, and even more so i can't stand the hypocrisy of the antichristian media. So why should i pay attention.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:54 | 3323308 falak pema
falak pema's picture

'cos you love to hate like most of us...As long as its the crime and not the criminal! 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:22 | 3322711 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Great, a visible guy for an invisible product.  If they get away with that story, it's no wonder they got away with all kinds of other crap over the centuries, and messing with little boys. 

Luke 17:2  "It is better to put a millstone around their neck and be cast into the sea, than harm one of the little children".  According to their Uber-Boss in the sky. 

Fags, perverts and weirdos -- the lot of them. But very, very useful tools for the ruling class, to keep the poor from murdering the rich.

- Self-Excommunicated, and proud of it

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 12:32 | 3322761 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

My wife ('Catholic' by tradition) figured out why the Church does not want the priests to marry:  "It's a business.  They can't afford to support the women and children also.  By having the oldest son become a priest, they ensure growth & continuity down the ages.  Very clever, very shrewd."

She's a smart one, my wife is.  Even if she's a gold digger.  She digs my gold.

Note to self:  Must start a new religion (vaporware).  Get in at the Top! 

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:20 | 3322949 Rearranging Dec...
Rearranging Deckchairs's picture

Also get great tax benefits if you start your own religion.

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 13:51 | 3323054 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

AH, a new pope, my life will instantly be better! [Yeah, right]..................

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:40 | 3323239 AgShaman
AgShaman's picture

I vote for the German "Ex-Pat" living in Brazil. After all, it's a global economy that seeks "global governance"

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 14:51 | 3323273 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Its official and its black smoke! 

I love this statement from a man of God :  including the global economic crisis by calling for more oversight of financial institutions and he has denounced the “idolatry of the market.”...

The greenback will never rule the Vatican! 

The worst thing that could happen is to have a reactionary Pope, like the current german incumbent, AND...who loves libertarian market values!

woweee..what a team that would make :

Pope + Jamie Dimon!

Tue, 03/12/2013 - 15:12 | 3323426 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Scola looks sinister enough.

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