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Friday Humor: Summing It Up
Since "it just doesn't matter" anymore, we hope that soon financial network TV, plagued by the lowest ratings in a decade for the simple fact that nobody cares anymore what Federal Reserve Capital LP does, will at least invite some funnier guests, such as Bill Murray, to dispense hot stock tips.
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It really DOESN'T matter.
Where's the guy with the cotton candy? One cannot enjoy the circus without cotton candy.
Oooh! The high-wire act just started.
Friday humor: SPX from 666 to 1666.
Yup...the roller coaster to hell starts NOW
I missed LARRY FUCKIN FINK on CNBShit.....man someone shut that Jfucker up.
F*cking paper junkies just killing metals.. OIL UP, COOPER UP, both Gold and Silver collapsing without any noticeable replacement.. Going straight down non-stop.
So, JPM gets to rotate a bit more physical into their vaults, banks get to load up more at better prices. Look at what they DO, not what they SAY. I'm looking to buy some more.
I thought this is a better representation of Bill Murray's applicable acting skills and what is needed on CNBS. He could cover the Bernank's (aka, the Groundhog's) public statements.
"it just doesn't matter" is soooooooo last century.
Time to move into the 21st century. Now for the hipper, cooler way of dissing your detractors.
"What difference at this point does it make"
Time to get with the program kiddies!
Since "it just doesn't matter" anymore, we hope that soon financial network TV, plagued by the lowest ratings in a decade for the simple fact that nobody cares anymore
~~~
What an opening line...
[from 'Diamonds are Forever"]
"Shady Tree ~ LOVED your act ~ What STYLE, what CLASS"
Betcha people are starting to have that little voice in the back of their heads about being embarrassed to be on that fucking station.
I know I'm starting to wonder why anybody's on there and if they're a money manager Why TF aren't they running the money instead of salving their ego?
Carried on channel 666 on your local cable network
The moment they realize they were being scammed and everything they thought was real was really entertainment to create the illusion of a free market money talk or some bullshit "insert here " whatever, whatever... I just want it to be over, the fix is in and everyone fucking knows it. Maybe someone over there will have a moment of clarity and just trash the whole game and quit on air before they cut the feed to the last 20,000 viewers in one final act of drama we can all watch on youtube and get a good chuckle as it continues to crumble around us. I am seriously optimistic.
"don't print angry..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBpw1sdFu2w
They gotta pay for Germany's gold somehow.
"So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
"Friday humor: SPX from 666 to 1666."
Monday humor would be "and flashcrash back again".
Funny! on my Etrade account, live charts, it said 1666.14 at the close from 4pm-4:12, then it changed to 1667.47 at around 4:15. I know it has to settle few trades, but it would be cool to see it actually stays at 1666. lol
1666!
This is going to be a shitstorm of a summer...it looks like all the black swans are coming in for a landing at once!
EDIT: My spidey sense is tingeling big time, watch out for a memorial day false flag.
I don't plan on leaving my house those 4 days.
Leave the house, get out and enjoy the peace and sunshine while it's still there. Don't let fear or circumstance dictate your life.... just make sure you have enough gas to get home without refilling and that your preps are in order.
Long as they don't poison the hot dogs at the golf course, I'm good.
1666 close coming, just so we know who's in charge.
1000 S&P points off the bottom. Who would have guessed the road to hell would be going up?
Still locked at 1666 after 20 minutes now. I'ts almost like someone's trying to send a message.
If 'THAT' is the confirmation you're looking for them you're already a few paces behind...
It's really interesting how it moved to that number and locked on, isn't it?
Gotta say, nice call.
Carbon-based organisms. :)
I think you mean silicone based.
You should leave Maria Barfaroma out of this.
She went from checking coats in a swanky downtown lower Manhattan restaurant to shilling for CNBC, my guess? Someone got quite a few blow jobs.
Nailed it. +1
A little scary, not in a superstitious way but in the implications of that kind of arrogance.
just put a bullet in my head and be done with it, this is torture
Maria Pumporomo pumping the Fed induced market daily! "Things are getting better, things are getting better" lol biggest clown! Oh and her partner in crime Bob Piss-on-me too! lol
Keep in mind who the pumpers work for. They are paid to cheerlead so the wealthy folks who OWN the media get richer on their personal holdings of stocks. They don't give a damn about the lemmings who will be holding the bag when this sham of a market bursts (and it will burst).
But my broker (who used to be my realtor) told me, "the stock market never goes down....."
Funny, your broker who was my realtor few years ago told me that housing market never goes down.... then after he sold me the house, it went down 40%. :(
Worth two ups.
Market fluffer between hot cash infusions.
The money has to go somewhere it is fleeing Japan and Europe bank accounts and needs a home. The bond market is a bigger bubble than the stock market so fundamentals no longer matter. Until they do.
If this thing closes at 1666 I'm headed straight to confession.
Bro lather your tongue up and say an act of contrition... it DID.
There's going to be a lot of Hail Mary's this weekend for sure.
I just made my own bank run. Fuck this. Something's up.
There sure is Fonz. Grab every penny you can.
How long is your priest going to have to listen? And...'
Does he have a 501(c)(x)?
Can you pay someone else to do the confession for you?
What knowledge does your priest have about this 666 number, and when did he know it?
Does his choir or parish use Gibson guitars?
Have you ever given your priest stock trading information before, or before the general public?
What guarantee do you have that it will not be recorded and used against you?
Are thier cameras in the booth?
Can we tune in when ever we want and insert quarters?
How much have you contributed to this priest before?
These are serious questionz....
There's just NO shame left anymore, at all!
SheepDog, I think I will pour a stiff drink tonight and put on some Sinatra. This tune seems appropriate...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiCsaMnhqo8
That's good, but better is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rifhroClGI
With a Glenlivet on the rocks.
They(CNBS) should just have F**king Gallagher smashing water mellons on Cramers head all day.
It would be more entertaining for the monkeys.
Bonus trivia: I voted for Gallagher when he ran for Cali gov.
Cheers!
Bonus +1000 if Gallagher smashed the watermelon on Cramer's head with the sledgehammer, but without the watermelon.
the three monkeys, cute, which one is O'Baaaaaahhhhhmer? (or can i still say that here, wtf.....)
I was thinking Bill Murray in "Groundhog Day".
My feeling exactly; 3572449
It NEVER matters... as long as things appear to be looking up. Until suddenly, it DOES matter. And then, oh how it WILL matter to everyone, especially to those who were seated in the First Class section of the Gravy Train...
'CNBC, First in Finance'....new logo 'It JUST DOESN'T MATTER, long as stawks r up!'
Who the hell is payin the bills over there anyhow?
There's those damn monkeys. I hear they are great stock pickers in times like these.
I think even Cramer can have a positive track record in this market...then again...
http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2007/07/10/citi-chief-on-buyout-loans-were-still-dancing/
As long as the Fed keeps overwhelming the shadow banking decline, it's to the moon Alice.
Spaz got new glasses.
+30-+40 days in S&P now the new norm? We've gone vastly past full-retard.
for circus acts go to cnbc, for stock pump go to fox b, for real news go to zero hedge!
The google test I did the other day finally payed off. No more (I can't say anything here because it might influence the ads I'm now getting). Got tits like no tomorrow on both sides of the articles.
Noticed the same. As an aside, it would appear that the Chinese are now manufacturing push-up bras out of titanium.
Intentionally creating a crash is the ONLY explanation...
Bill Murray on CNBC! This is one way to raise the ratings, I for one, would love the spectacle, Bill, with the hair he had in that bowling scene in the movie he did with Woody, giving out stock tips for the "Believers" precious and `Only in America`.
this would be hillarious, I still laugh at Larry but it's not as much fun as it used to be, or could be!
It would, but since I quit watching their crap, I wouldn't see it until it made ZH.
I have no doubt that Bernanke is a vampire. There's no way any human with a conscience could sleep at night, with knowledge of the atrocities he's commited.
"The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
Even though I know -- I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job
Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage"
1666.09 We are so fucked!
We're just circling the drain at this point.
1666 high, 666 low
No way this isn't engineered
LOlz
Just got off the phone with a friend of mine who works on a trading desk at a European-based bank. He said every day all the traders crack up at the market going up for no good reason. His words, not mine........if you are in this stock market you are going to get wiped out, its NASDAQ circa 1999 all over again.
wow this market is so great. i feel so rich. everythhing is great.
the fact that they have the nerve to actually say that people are putting money into stocks makes me want to puke. its 100 percent the fed, not 1 person i know is playing this ponzi scheme now.
fuck u fed, i hope something terrible happens to u.
What inning are we in? How long can this go on?
i think we are in the top of the 9th.
according to cnbc, bloomberg, etc, we are top of the 1st with a long way to go.
cant make this shit up
Banzai has been outdone! Great video splice...
Efficient Market Hypothesis...? Dear Finance Professors, gift-wrap your degrees and stick them where they belong.
o yes my lucky numbers, you know that a powerball winner in there
"I think there are a thousand stocks out there that could make you rich, totally independent of what you do for a living." Jim Cramer ;-D
Here's Sarah Hall Ingram (IRS)
http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/519610676bb3f72c06000016-481-36...
Here's Church Lady(SNL)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/87/Churchlady02.jpg
We aint that far away from circling the wagons friends. The time is almost here to find who you trust and stand by them, one for all and all for one so to speak.
No man is an island and without each other we dont do nothing. Thats what the big men expect, and other than here on ZH I have seen no others be prepared for the oncoming fight. Never mind humour, this fuck up we call life, markets, jobs, whatever is now burning out at an alarming rate, its time to be who we were sent here to be. You lot ready? You lot willing and able to do best by your fellow man? I am, and I hope you all are in some semblance of preparation for the times that lay ahead.
This cannot go on for much longer, I hold no malice for anyone who is just getting by, them that are asleep that never woke up, fuck me I wish I hadnt, but its up to us, them that did, them that can, and them that will. Dont look down on them less fortunate than you, dont judge them, the big men will do that, help them, dont let your fellow man down, cos' at some point we will all need each other, and lets do the do.
This stopped being funny a long time ago, and sorry for the long post but lets show these fuckers we aint done, we aint soft, and we can join and help each other in a way that money cannot.
Lets give these fuckers war, but lets do it our way, there really is more to life than money and riches.
I live it, and I hope we can all see that life is too short to chuck away on this shit.
God speed bitchez, even the politically correct ZH (Bosses).
Cunts.
:-)
Hey you take care of yourself across the pond. Shits about to get deep.
And we're running out of toilet paper!
(OK, maybe not just yet...)
I live in a semi-rural setting, and until recently had two good neighbors I could trust. One moved to Kansas in March, the other is nearly 80 years old, and just went in for major back surgery. The rest are either sheeple, dependant on the.gov, or outright O'bomb-a lovers.
I'm so fucked.
As far as this market goes, I am extremely comfortable with my profound level of discomfort.
Bill Murray to revise role as Carl Spackler from "Caddyshack":
"People think I'm an idiot or something, because all I do is cut lawns for a living. People don't say that about you...as far as you know. What's that? I should buy Monsanto, Apple, and Chipotle? What is Mrs. Crane buying? How about DuPont, they make dynamite, don't they?"
i'm just a simple plumber..but even i can smell a shit storm coming sometime soon..
(you smell shit i smell money )
If the FED buys stocks in the woods and nobody else is in the market, does it make a noise???
I think they should have HFT trader-bot death matchs....live! Wait...that is the market... So Sorry!
You SELL em Larry. But here are my concerns:
1) If it so obviously doesn’t matter, why do you have to SELL the idea so hard?
2) If you can’t SELL it to that idiot Maria, why the hell should I buy into it?
It's funny cause it's true!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DYje57V_BY
I'm looking for microfinancing of my new cable channel.
Its going to be called the "AM channel", that's Animals Mating, with key sponsors to be companies who will assist you in the purchase and deliver of prescription drugs with your EBT card, or cards, to the big fat couch of your choice.
Reality shows will be: what government assistance programs are available to YOU, now, nothing down; setting up your own little Federal Reserve in your basement, Medicare Fraud-For-Dummies; nonprofits organizations for fun and profit; how to walk away with a disabilty check, and how to drag out payments of that nasty student loan up thru and past the 2nd coming of Xrist, guaranteed!
Its not all take, take, take. For those with special financial acumen and a head for numbers, there will be a special feature of what the going rate for Congressmen is. They're practically free!
We'll make a mint.
My stock advice now, like in the late 1990's....solid advice to "beat the market"...
...1) pull up order entry screen, 2) close eyes, 3) type random 3 letters, 4) hit enter.
Viola! Instant positive return from VBX, or HHW!!!
Now retire to Somalia for the good life.
Any Fed decision from now on is above Fed's paygrade.
Thx Zerohedge.
These banker jews are going to get all of us killed