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The Phone Call

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The phone-calls are flying. On the heels of yesterday's Obama-Putin "discussion", today has seen Merkel drop him a line (with the resultant claim that Putin has accepted a "fact-finding mission" despite all evidence to the contrary); and then Merkel, Obama, and Cameron got on a party-line to discuss "sanctions". In the face of this seriousness, we suspect, however, any of the calls to Putin all had a similar dialogue...

 

h/t @SooperMexican and @LibertyBlitz

 

Lots of "Calls" in the last 24 hours...

  • *OBAMA CALLING MERKEL AND CAMERON TODAY ON UKRAINE: OFFICIALS
  • *MERKEL CALLED ON PUTIN TO RESPECT UKRAINE TERRITORIAL INTEGRITY
  • *NATO CALLS ON RUSSIA TO DE-ESCALATE TENSIONS, RASMUSSEN SAYS
  • *ITALY CALLS ON KIEV TO MAKE EVERY EFFORT FOR PEACE, STABILITY
  • *ITALY CALLS ON RUSSIA TO AVOID AGGRAVATING UKRAINE SITUATION
  • *AKHMETOV CALLS FOR UKRAINE TERRITORIAL INTEGRITY TO BE ENSURED
  • *UKRAINE'S PM CALLS FOR PEACEFUL RESOLUTION TO CRISIS
  • *UKRAINE'S PM CALLS ON PUTIN TO REFRAIN FROM STARTING WAR
  • *OBAMA CALLS HEADS OF FRANCE, CANADA, TO DISCUSS UKRAINE CRISIS
  • *OBAMA CALLS ON RUSSIA TO DE-ESCALATE TENSIONS IN UKRAINE
  • *UN SECRETARY GENERAL CALLS FOR IMMEDIATE UKRAINE CALM: NESIRKY
  • *U.K.'S HAGUE CALLS FOR `DE-ESCALATION OF TENSIONS' IN UKRAINE
  • *TYMOSHENKO CALLS FOR ACCORD WITH EU TO BE SIGNED IN DAYS
  • *KLITSCHKO CALLS FOR GENERAL MOBILIZATION IN UKRAINE
  • *RUSSIA LAWMAKERS CALL ON PUTIN TO DEFEND CRIMEA POPULATION: RIA
  • *CRIMEA'S PRIME MINISTER CALLS ON PUTIN TO ASSIST: INTERFAX
  • *U.S. CALLS ON RUSSIA TO PULL BACK MILITARY FORCE IN REGION
  • *MERKEL CALLS FOR RESTRAINT OVER CRIMEA
  • *CAMERON CALLS PUTIN TO DISCUSS SITUATION IN UKRAINE

 

President Barack Obama discussed the Ukraine crisis with German Chancellor Angela Merkel in a phone call on Sunday and underscored:

"(The primary point) in all of his calls has been to underscore the complete illegitimacy of Russia's intervention" in the Crimea region of Ukraine, the official told reporters in a conference call.

The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Obama planned shortly to make the same point in conversations with the British prime minister and the Polish president.

 

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Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:31 | 4499676 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Well Poland is paranoid and rightfully so... I mean they got invaded and at war with the Russians how many times over the centuries... I would be paranoid too if I were them. Especially since NATO looks so fucking weak. Poland should develop nukes ASAP.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:32 | 4499680 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Poland has way better horses this time around.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:34 | 4499690 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

They'll need them.

They get their oil from Russia.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:49 | 4499726 Bunders
Bunders's picture

Edit, sorry, my browser confusing me.

All of those links go to "item not found" now?

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:03 | 4499787 diging deep
diging deep's picture

hmm all them links worked for hours until posted here....then something "spooky" must have happened...there still a twitter feed going on

https://twitter.com/pravyisektor/status/440184890068172800/photo/1

 

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=df0_1393810470  train

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=68e_1393808837 convoys  

if these dont work ,its gremlins and move on i guess nothing to see here......

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:31 | 4499672 Remnant_Army
Remnant_Army's picture

Said nearly 3 years ago...

 

Friday, March 18th, 2011 @ 00:00 The other nations from the West will provoke a reaction from Russia and China. All will end in a World War.(...)

http://www.thewarningsecondcoming.com/earthquake-in-europe-world-war/

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:31 | 4499677 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I laugh at this and then I remember that the shithead on the left getting worked is my *cough* Leader. I guess I'm glad that he isn't going NeoCon and sending in Raptors. Panama is looking real good right now. Hell, anywhere...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:37 | 4499695 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

I agree, yet he isn't sending the Raptors in for all the wrong reasons.  I don't think this guy would even protect our borders...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:34 | 4499685 diging deep
diging deep's picture

oh as well as the poland military moves....Poland's prime minister called for a strong response internationally following the Russian parliament agreeing to President Putin's request for powers to send armed forces into Ukraine

http://www.thenews.pl/1/9/Artykul/163811,Polish-PM-Its-time-to-show-Ukra... nice title

 

are medical supplies  stock up yet?

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:30 | 4499914 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

wow.

i got an error message too.
thanks for the updates...keep 'em coming.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:34 | 4499687 Tracerfan
Tracerfan's picture

Frau Merkel isn't going to put sanctions on Russia.  Her SPD partners and German businesses will not support that.

Germany's future lies in a Eurasian partnership, with Russia, not against Russia, and Merkel knows this.  Spying on her and saying "F" her by Nuland was plum stupid.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:37 | 4499697 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

This regime defines the word stupid.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 02:00 | 4500395 BidnessMan
BidnessMan's picture

That is an insult to stupid people

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:58 | 4499740 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Yup.  Germany's future is as Main EU player, and having Frankfurt dethrone London as a financial center.

A EU-Russia alliance is like a hand-in-glove.   EURASIA = 21st Century. 

That's why the Anglo-American Alliance is shitting its financial pants:  Days of King Dollar are numbered, as are the days of its hidden and true owners, who fear for their wealth, health and lifestyle when Americans truly awake and finally pay them back their just rewards.

That is why the US is front-running an evolving EU-Russian alliance with spoiler games (by putting many EU players into artificial financial/debt hardship, so that they can be compromised, manipulated and blackmailed).

Remember: All wars are bankster wars.  The Fed is the ultimate Bankster, the Petro-Dollar the ultimate WMD.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:04 | 4500079 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Payback would be nice but I believe the true demons will be in a far away land.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 05:30 | 4500652 Treason Season
Treason Season's picture

Plumb stupid.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:38 | 4499700 GOSPLAN HERO
GOSPLAN HERO's picture

Obama is a pussy.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:41 | 4499710 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

Cunt is the term I prefer.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:02 | 4499785 sosoome
sosoome's picture

I've never seen anyone swing a golf club like a cunt, so he must be a pussy.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:51 | 4500021 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Obama is the global cummunity ball washer.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:39 | 4499701 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Just believe the opposite of whatever is coming out of this administration. Illegitimate invasion? Totally legit. There will be consequences! No there won't. Ukraine sovereignty must be protected? It's already destroyed when the thugs played a game of capture the flag

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:44 | 4499723 q99x2
q99x2's picture

FU Goldman Sachs. You were to slow with your NATO troops.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:48 | 4499728 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

There is nothing funny about the US being the leader of the free world with this joke at the helm.  This is fucking disgusting, impeach this clown and get a man in office who knows what the hell he is doing.  No, we do not need or want Hillary or Biden; we need someone like Bush/Cheney who was capable of protecting this country and our allies.  

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:54 | 4499751 nah
nah's picture

what happen to vodka now Russian need water bitchez

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:54 | 4499752 jmp esp
jmp esp's picture

Did this Tyler just leak his real UID?

http://www.zerohedge.com/sites/default/files/images/user3303/imageroot/2014/20140302_phoencall.png

Seems to be the id of someone named Credittrader.

http://www.zerohedge.com/user/3303/votes

http://www.zerohedge.com/users/credittrader

 

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:55 | 4499753 alentia
alentia's picture

and the circus continues...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:23 | 4499870 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

There are probaby 10% x 20 million = 2 million Putin supporters in Kiev right now.

Seems nuts to talk with your opposition on their turf.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 22:56 | 4499761 ms8172
ms8172's picture

You can't print your way out of this one!!!!

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:01 | 4499780 The Shape
The Shape's picture

Looks like Putin's about to take over for Caruso on CSI Miami.

Is that still on the air?

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:04 | 4499790 sosoome
sosoome's picture

You're in over your head Barry. Better go ahead and fold now while you still got some chips.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:07 | 4499809 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Your pen and phone don't mean shit to a standing army!!

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:08 | 4499810 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

The EU will not place any real sanctions on Russia because Russia controlsvthe energy taps. It will get real chilly in the EU...

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:12 | 4499833 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Just an FYI, Netanyahu arrived in DC today for meetings with Zero tomorrow.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:14 | 4499836 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

"(The primary point) in all of his calls has been to underscore the complete illegitimacy of Russia's intervention" in the Crimea region of Ukraine, the official told reporters in a conference call.

Of course. Unlike the total legitimacy of the $5 Bn stealth funding for Ukrainian Neo-Nazi usurpers by the US/EU/NeoCon trifecta.  

http://www.paulcraigroberts.org/2014/02/12/washington-orchestrated-prote...

Thanks for the levity Barry.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:20 | 4499862 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

The "neo nazis" are a small segment of those wishing to ditch Russian domination so quit tossing that around as if they represent the majority of Ukrainians.  Second, if you'd bother to follow this story, the Soros/West funding was going to a bunch of paid for "liberal moderates" who Soros and friends figured they would maneuver to become good EU slaves.  They did NOT fund the "neo nazis".  

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:43 | 4500235 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

I'm not representing they represent the majority of Ukrainians but in fact a thug minority funded by the west to coerce the democratic majority.

Some nuance and background on the subject if you'd bother to follow the story yourself

http://www.larouchepub.com/other/2014/4106wwiii_nazi_ukraine.html

Ever since President Viktor Yanukovych announced that Ukraine was withdrawing its plans to sign the European Union's Association Agreement on Nov. 21, 2013, Western-backed organizations made up of remnants of the wartime and immediate postwar Nazi collaborationist Organization of Ukrainian Nationalists (OUN-B) and their successors have launched a campaign of provocations aimed at not only at bringing down the government of Prime Minister Mykola Azarov, but at overthrowing the democratically elected President Yanukovych...

The next day, Jan. 29, the Guardian headlined "In Ukraine, Fascists, Oligarchs and Western Expansion Are at the Heart of the Crisis," with the kicker: "The story we're told about the protests gripping Kiev bears only the sketchiest relationship with reality." Guardian reporter Seumas Milne candidly wrote, "You'd never know from most of the reporting that far-right nationalists and fascists have been at the heart of the protests and attacks on government buildings. One of the three main opposition parties heading the campaign is the hard-right anti-Semitic Svoboda, whose leader Oleh Tyahnybok claims that a 'Moscow-Jewish mafia' controls Ukraine. The party, now running the city of Lviv, led a 15,000-strong torch-lit march earlier this month in memory of the Ukrainian fascist leader Stepan Bandera, whose forces fought with the Nazis in the second world war and took part in massacres of Jews."

Counterpunch also published a Jan. 29 article by Eric Draitser, "Ukraine and the Rebirth of Fascism," which began with the warning: "The violence on the streets of Ukraine is far more than an expression of popular anger against a government. Instead, it is merely the latest example of the rise of the most insidious form of fascism that Europe has seen since the fall of the Third Reich.... In an attempt to pry Ukraine out of the Russian sphere of influence, the U.S.-EU-NATO alliance has, not for the first time, allied itself with fascists."

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:09 | 4500104 walküre
walküre's picture

are Ukrainian "nazis" any different than Russian "nazis"?

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:33 | 4500195 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Probably not.  

"There's no idiot like a useful idiot." ~Vladimir Ilyich Lenin [paraphrase]

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 04:27 | 4500599 One of We
One of We's picture

Take note all with a Vlad-crush....oh never mind ....back to the four legs good two legs bad debate....helllllooooo?  Is there anyone out there?

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:17 | 4499849 skippy9
skippy9's picture

Another media attempt to start a war so their pathetic readership can increase. The bozo in the White House has become an international embarassment to us all.The only real player in this is trumped drama is Putin. My money is on him.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:31 | 4499919 Wannabee
Wannabee's picture

So when does USA become BFF with India?
Record sales in store for Boeing, GE, Raytheon, et., al

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:36 | 4499933 tempo
tempo's picture

Western leaders are like telemarketing callers to Putin.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:47 | 4499990 sunkeye
sunkeye's picture

"C'mon dude, don't be a racist."  OMFG major LOL at that one.

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:48 | 4499995 Sovereign Economist
Sovereign Economist's picture

Hey Barry!  Take your phone calls to the Jay Leno show, you'll get a better reception....   oh, wait, he's not home anymore...  damn!

Sun, 03/02/2014 - 23:54 | 4500031 Road Hazard
Road Hazard's picture

Fuck the EU.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:01 | 4500068 Neethgie
Neethgie's picture

The only phone call that matters "K HEN GET TO WORK" " AFFIRMATIVE USD JPY 102 IMMINENT"

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:03 | 4500072 HardlyZero
HardlyZero's picture

Economic War!  

That might work with small or Island Nations. Russia has 17 million sq. km.   

This has to be an "Onion".

Inside Obama’s Plans to Squeeze Russia

Behind the scenes, Obama administration officials are preparing a series of possible battle plans for a potential economic assault on Russia in response to its invasion of Ukraine, an administration source close to the issue told The Daily Beast. Among the possible targets for these financial attacks: everyone from high-ranking Russian military officials to government leaders to top businessmen to Russian-speaking separatists in Ukraine. It’s all part of the work to prepare an executive order now under consideration at the Obama administration’s highest levels.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/03/02/inside-obama-s-plans-for-economic-war-on-russia.html

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:10 | 4500110 I_Am_
I_Am_'s picture

Carrier Group Alpha (Bravo, Charlie....) now routeing to the Trans Pacific partnership area uh. uh... belay orders forward to the Eastern Mediterranean uh. uh... belay the belayed orders full speed ahead to the TPP uh. uh... Supreme C in C

Captain to CinC : Sorry we are aground in the Dardanelles and have to be towed to Sevastopol for repairs

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:16 | 4500143 damicol
damicol's picture

Snowden Files

 

Just released via the Guardian

NSA secret phone tapping records. Transcript

 brrrr brrr

 Yes hello comrade.

Is this the Kremmmlin

 yah zis is the Kremlin,

I have barry on the line , he would like to talk to Vlad

Barry who is zis barry,  do you know Vlad

Oh yes they are very close , they met many times before,

Say no more,  one of ze boys Vlad likes to impale on his pole One moment.

brrr brrr

Mr Prsident, I have a barry on the line, saye you met him before,

Ok put him through,

 Ahh barry, my little catamite, how are you. do you want to be impaled by my wonderful pole again

Im sorry, Is this Vlad,

Yes, who is this, which barry are you,

This is barry obummer,  you know we met at the  meetings up and down the world, live in the whitehouse.

Oh, that barry,, haha forget the previous remark, it was just a joke you know, How can I help you barry

Well this ukranian thingy  is getting some of the guys a bit flustered you know, wondering if you might back off a bit.

back off barry,, ho ho dont you know thats impossible now, come on you know how this one goes, all the leetle boys in europe are busy sucking each others cocks and havnt a clue, and well you do remember davos dont you.

You do give a good BJ, but we didnt get down to the serious business ho ho, the bit where I impale you on Vlad the impalers pole.

Next time barry, next time. Dont be in a rush.

I thought you promised never to mention that.

Oh come on now barry, we are men of the world, at least I am   and we know that cocksucking and fucking goes on all the time and after all its you that has the gay agenda and its me thats got the manliness and the muscles so nobody is ever going to believe that you are fucking me now are they. And you have the mouth and lips of beauty queen dear, its why things slide in and out so easily.

well be that as it may but as kerry says you know it will have a cost.

Oh come on now barry, everything has a cost, you know that, dont you think we didnt do our sums,  what with bullets, tanks  soldiers pay and and a few bombs and planes its nothing compared to the trillions in gas is it barry.

Lisetn barry, you got your gas, and we got our gas ok.

Just think about those dickheads in europe. What they got,  SFA thats what,  so decide what you want barry, more cash for your gas  or fuck about whining to me about ukraine.

Think of the munnee barry flogging gas to the dumb fucks in europe at double the price. Look gotta go, I think one of the boys is looking to get impaled on Vlad the impalers magnificent pole and i need to jerk off again.

And i promise, its your turn next time ok

 

 

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:20 | 4500157 franzpick
franzpick's picture

NSA talk is that O'Zero gives good phone.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 00:39 | 4500225 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Sanctions. LOL And I'd like to see them enforce that upon very long border and nuclear armed Russia. LMAO

"Dear Europe, please support the cause and quit importing gas and oil from Russia.

You might be cold and poor because of it, but hey, it's for the "children" or something like that.

Sincerely,

The much further Western sociopaths in DC and the UK who are completely under Israel's sway."

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 03:56 | 4500579 Rising Sun
Rising Sun's picture

Barry - you fucking weakling

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 05:05 | 4500632 Nassim
Nassim's picture

What has happened to the "rotation to Asia-Pacific"? What wankers!

Force rotations in Asia-Pacific are stabilizing region, admiral says

http://www.stripes.com/news/force-rotations-in-asia-pacific-are-stabiliz...

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 06:05 | 4500675 Manipuflation
Manipuflation's picture

Hello?  What?  Hello?  Well this thing does not work in Hawaii.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 07:30 | 4500736 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

Back in March, 2012 in South Korea...

Obama: "On all these issues, but particularly missile defence, this, this can be solved – but it's important for him to give me space."

Medvedev replied: "Yeah, I understand. I understand your message about space. Space for you."

Obama then elaborated: "This is my last election. After my election I have more flexibility."

Medvedev responded: "I understand. I will transmit this information to Vladimir."

Oh yeah, Vlad gave you space 'alright'... You feeling a little pressure now, Barry?

 

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 08:30 | 4500797 RazvanM
RazvanM's picture

Obamaphone. I hope they have a LOT of free minutez with it, or Obama will need to justify the phone invoice huge bottom (no pun intended) line to Michelle.

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 09:28 | 4500949 esum
esum's picture

if you like the crimea you can keep the crimea..... the only truth uttered by obama since the empty suit took office... obama spoke in ebonics to throw putin off and lengthen the call.. kerry kohn going to kiev with his best horse face..... this entire administration belongs in a circus freak show... or an ivy league school....  

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 10:41 | 4501230 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Telephone Line - ELO

 

Hello. How are you?
Have you been alright, through all those lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely nights
That's what I'd say. I'd tell you everything
If you'd pick up that telephone yeah yeah yeah

 

Hey. How you feelin?
Are you still the same?
Don't you realize the things we did, we did, were all for real, not a dream?
I just can't believe
They've all faded out of view yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

 

Doowop dooby doo doowop doowah doolang
Blue days black nights doowah doolang

 

I look into the sky, the love you need ain't gonna see you through
And I wonder why the little things you planned ain't coming true


Oh oh Telephone Line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight
Oh oh Telephone Line, give me some time, I'm living in [the] twilight

Mon, 03/03/2014 - 11:43 | 4501559 StopIt.Now
StopIt.Now's picture

Why does Obama call anyone, he's got their phones tapped already!  He just needs to ask his bud Eric "Wuz up N****"!?!

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