This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

A "Laser-Focused" Jonh Kerry Updates On Iraq Situation: "Obama Moving Rapidly To Decide Iraq Response"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In case there was any concerns that the US Secretary of State is unable to handle the rapidly moving events in Iraq due to being stuck on his boat (again), here comes the Ketchup heir-in-law, speaking at the London Global Summit to end sexual violence in conflict (!) to diffuse all fears that "just once" the US may not be on top of its foreign policy game:

  • KERRY SAYS OBAMA MOVING `RAPIDLY' TO DECIDING ON IRAQ RESPONSE
  • KERRY SAYS "WE ARE LASER-FOCUSED ON DEALING WITH THE CRISIS AT HAND"
  • KERRY SAYS ISIL `TERRORIZES' CITIZENS OF IRAQ, POSES THREAT TO EUROPE, U.S. AND OTHER COUNTRIES
  • KERRY SAYS U.S. HAS DISCUSSED MILITARY OPTIONS FOR IRAQ
  • KERRY SAYS SITUATION IN IRAQ IS ‘WAKE UP CALL’ FOR IRAQI LEADERS

And just like that, the jihadists who are too extreme even for Al Qaeda, will surely promptly scatter, fearful what drastic sanctions the US will impose on the Al Qaeda central bank and, heaven-forbid, the travel ban that will likely also follow...

 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:20 | 4852388 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

He's at the 17th and rest assured, once his round is over and he's had a shower and a nap, he'll be rushing into action just after 3pm. Which is 3 hours earlier than usual.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:20 | 4852390 kw2012
kw2012's picture

They will do what the did in Benghazi. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:20 | 4852393 youngman
youngman's picture

And now they will have to negociate with terrorists again..not a good policy....terrorists do not  mind dying for their cause...We do...they are a tough opponant...they fight to the death..and no Rules apply to them...at all..no Geneva convention rules.....

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:22 | 4852403 falak pema
falak pema's picture

If he is as laser focussed as in Ukraine and Syria and Iran it promises raining pennies from heaven.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:22 | 4852406 Navymugsy
Navymugsy's picture

Thank God John Kerry is on watch! You bad, nasty terrorists will pay the price now!!!!! Go Navy! Beat Army! Allahu ackbar!

 

/sarc

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:22 | 4852409 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

GO GET 'EM JOHN BOY!

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:29 | 4852445 Yes We Can. But...
Yes We Can. But Lets Not.'s picture

The NSA knows the toppings on the pizza I ordered last night, yet somehow missed the formation of an entire army in Iraq.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:29 | 4852446 Navymugsy
Navymugsy's picture

"Calling PBR street gang.  PBR street gang, this is Almighty.  Can you read me?  Over."   

 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:30 | 4852447 RSDallas
RSDallas's picture

This could become the the US excuse to enter the Syrian conflict directly, with weapons used by US troops.  It should be good for another $500 billion dollars of weaponry. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:29 | 4852450 q99x2
q99x2's picture

You'll kill people to get drugs and oil, eh John. Prisons around the world are filled with people like you.

Globalists be gone.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:30 | 4852453 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

As Iraqi cities fall, Obama is laser focused on entertaining the Minnesota Lynx basketball team at the White House...

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:31 | 4852457 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

John Kerry walks into a bar...

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:32 | 4852462 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

i am ketchup man, hear me roar

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:43 | 4852521 Tachyon5321
Tachyon5321's picture

 

 

 

Obama has lost the war in Iraq and Afghanistain. 

 

OMG, I miss Bush.

 

 

 

 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:43 | 4852524 Tachyon5321
Tachyon5321's picture

 

 

 

Obama has lost the war in Iraq and Afghanistain. 

 

OMG, I miss Bush.

 

 

 

 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:45 | 4852533 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Break out the Swiftboats and put Kerry on the lead boat...

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:59 | 4852851 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Put him in a bulap sack and drop his ass at a buzkashi match in Afghanistan, it might actually buy the US some good will in the neighborhood.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:46 | 4852540 wisefool
wisefool's picture

They should make a hollywood western reboot movie about this new Iraq war and call it "A few trillion moar"

Staring  

  • Jon "The right honorable" Kerry
  • His wife the countess
  • The Assad Clan (for the dinner party scene)
  • Joe Biden as Jar Jar Binks
  • Papa Bush for parachuting stunts.
  • Bush Junior will film it on Super 8.
  • Dick Cheny (lighting)
  • Timmah as "the banker"
  • ....and Starring Barrack Obama as the resolute sherrif who would rather be for the war after he was against the war.

 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:48 | 4852542 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

This is the kind of dope u get when you don't care who you vote for!

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:47 | 4852544 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Seems the plastic surgeon burned off half this piece of shits brain with his laser . No credibility !!

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:50 | 4852552 bigkahuna
bigkahuna's picture

oh shit, they brought in the winter soldier...

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:52 | 4852565 ZeroRights
ZeroRights's picture

LOL!!! Has there ever been more losers in any administration, club, team, company, lineup, group and troupe as the Obama (Zero) Administration? Because of Obama's arrogance in thinking that he is worthy of the office, innocent people are dying because of his actions or inactions and his lack of intelligence in every matter that concerns America.

 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:58 | 4852597 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

Katie Couric is interviewing John Kerry on Monday and is asking for questions at #kerryonyahoo

 

I'm speaking with live on Monday. What global issues concern you? Tweet me your q's!


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:57 | 4852837 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

"Yes, Miss Katie, we had to bomb those Iraqi children in order to protect the virginal purity of our television hosts."

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:01 | 4852619 Little Boomer
Little Boomer's picture

Kerry voted for the authorization of use of force in Iraq in 2002.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:05 | 4852632 falak pema
falak pema's picture

John McCain : We won Iraq, you lost it Obama....

Like he won Vietnam ! 

JM is iconic neo-con bullshitter. Play on neo cons, soon you'll need Iran to clean up your Sunni mess in Iraq! 

Now that would be ironic. A bit like Ho Chi Minh's army cleaning up the Khmer rouge legacy of Cambodian destruction post Kissinger's war in Cambodia--just like today's Iraq is spin-off of Bush's war of 2003.

Those neo-con warmongering shills have been spreading the disease ever since they proclaimed "We've lost China" back in 1949 and created the Frankenstein beast of the CIA to do God's work.

Now its payback by Nemesis to that rotten Conquistadorial tradition of MIC USA mayhem.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:50 | 4852809 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

It's a sure bet that Obama's progressives have picked up the sword and are charging ahead (sideways? backwards? in circles?) even more recklessly into new and rekindled neo-connish wars...

Where's Bush's Nobel Peace Prize?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:04 | 4852633 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Corporal Hitler's "big idea" that he could roll over Russia was the biggest fuck up in modern history. Fucked up, as in burned, blasted, raped, murdered, and stomped ass-flat into the dirt, fucked up. Real fucked up.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:13 | 4852671 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Kerry says this is a wake-up call for Iraqi leaders?   Now that's precious.  Yes, being surrounded by your enemy is generally considered something to pay attention to.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:21 | 4852710 All is chosen
All is chosen's picture

We thought Britain had plenty of total arseholes.

Then the oversized colony spewed the Kerry thing. 

How is anyone expected to take it seriously?

Q: Who decided that spanking was bad?

It (the kerry), is in a new dimension of crassness.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:53 | 4852821 Fred123
Fred123's picture

Who voted for that crack-smoking homo? WHO??????

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:01 | 4852865 yrbmegr
yrbmegr's picture

Do we really care?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:12 | 4852934 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

We'll make a policy decision as soon as we can find the Ouija Board.....

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:21 | 4852990 ATTILA THE WIMP
ATTILA THE WIMP's picture

http://beforeitsnews.com/conspiracy-theories/2014/06/bilderbergers-over-2000-names-2463390.html

John Kerry is a Bilderberger.

Over 2,600 Bilderbergers listed here - 1954-2014

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:44 | 4853111 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Hey Kerry- turn that laser way up. right up to melt-metal mode, turn it around & focus it right between your eyeballs. You'll be doing humanity a great service.

 tia

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:43 | 4853123 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

The problem with following Kerry is that there is no suspense.  Pick the stupidist possible move and there you have it.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:47 | 4853145 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Long Iraqi troops.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 12:12 | 4853332 AdrenalineTrade
AdrenalineTrade's picture

Short Iraqi troops.....life spans.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 12:33 | 4853508 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

U.S. Al-Qaida training pays off. One failed State after the other

Iraq was the first one now we also have the Libyan failed State and the West-Ukrainian failed State all looted from their gold and their central bank heads replaced.

Syria's failed State is pushed as we speak with the funding of U.S. and Qatar and other Eastern money. The U.S. attempted to isolate Iran to make it a failed State but the U.S. sanctions bit them in the tail and in fact the U.S. is isolating itself from the rest of the world also by acting out on the world with irresponsible total unnecessary violence.

China doesn't like it, Russia doesn't like it either so doesn't Iran, Pakistan, Ukraine and so on and so forth.

Since these countries have long discovered that the U.S. is a very unreliable, untrustable partner, kicking and screaming like Nero in his heydays, they are no longer are willing to support the dollar financing their own attack.

It was the U.S. itself which brought China and Russia together and now the U.S. gradually but slowly is being side tracked by these countries.

So, you put screaming baby carefully back in the crib and make sure it can't hurt itself. Than close the door so you don't hear the sound any more  so you can go to sleep. That's exactly what China and Russia are trying to do with the U.S. right now.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 12:36 | 4853524 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

I never thought i would hate a person or an administration so much i would cheer their failure.

Kerry isn't even a dildo.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:07 | 4854178 Joenobody12
Joenobody12's picture

Dont worry. Obumpma is several steps ahead of the game. He is figuring out how the US will respond after ISIS takes over the entire IRAQ. He is, like Hitlery, ahead of his time. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:21 | 4854515 kurt
kurt's picture

With great rapidity and action orientation administration says it will discuss options urgently moving swiftly toward a decision with regard to a plan for an outcome with serious ramifications toward alternative scenarios contingent implementation, and solutions! Grim seriousness prevails.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!