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John Kerry "Shocked And Humiliated" On First Day Of Middle-East Tour

Tyler Durden's picture




 

John Kerry came, saw and as usual made a horse ass out of himself.

From last night:

Secretary of State John Kerry voiced strong U.S. support for Egypt's new president and signaled that Washington will continue the flow of military aid in an American welcome of the post-coup government.

 

Mr. Kerry said that the U.S. had recently released $575 million in assistance for Egypt's military and that he was confident 10 Apache helicopters would be delivered to Egypt soon.

 

"I am confident that we will be able to ultimately get the full amount of aid," Mr. Kerry said in his first stop on a regional tour focused largely on responding to the crisis in Iraq. "I am confident…that the Apaches will come and that they will come very, very soon."

Then from this morning:

Three Al Jazeera journalists were sentenced to seven years in jail by an Egyptian judge on Monday for aiding a "terrorist organization", drawing criticism from Western governments who said the verdict undermined freedom of expression.

And then:

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said that he had phoned Egypt's Foreign Minister Sameh Shukri on Monday to register Washington's "serious displeasure" with the sentencing of three Al Jazeera journalists to seven years in jail.

 

"Today's conviction is obviously a chilling and draconian sentence," he told reporters in Baghdad.

 

"When I heard the verdict today I was so concerned about it, frankly, disappointed in it, that I immediately picked up the telephone and talked to the foreign minister of Egypt and registered our serious displeasure at this kind of verdict," he said.

So... Kerry immediately "picked up the phone and talked" to someone upon this latest public humiliation of the "top" US diplomat. Is it the same someone who will be signing the receipt on the delivery notice of the 10 US Apaches, and the confirmation of the $575 million inbound wire from the US Treasury?

The Guardian sums it up best:

Egypt's military-dominated government has delivered a humiliating, public slap in the face to John Kerry, the US secretary of state, by sentencing three al-Jazeera journalists to long prison terms only hours after Kerry personally expressed his deep concern about the case in high-level meetings in Cairo. The snub represents a disastrous beginning to Kerry's already fraught Middle East tour, which took him to Baghdad on Monday for crisis talks about the Islamist extremist uprising.

 

The verdict, by a court responsive to government wishes, will also be seen as a deliberate, crude signal to President Barack Obama, who criticised Egypt's deteriorating human rights record after the former general, Abdul Fattah al-Sisi, seized power in a coup last year. Sisi has since had himself voted president. His elected predecessor, Mohammed Morsi, and thousands of his Muslim Brotherhood supporters remain in jail while hundreds of others have been killed.

 

In what US officials said were "candid" talks with Sisi, Kerry "emphasised our strong support for upholding the universal rights and freedoms of all Egyptians, including freedom of expression, peaceful assembly and association". He noted a number of promises by Egyptian leaders "are yet to be fulfilled", but added that "the United States remains deeply committed to seeing Egypt succeed".

 

The hollowness of all this careful diplomatic language was exposed for all to see by the court's verdict, which diplomats and observers said was reached without the complication of supporting evidence. It seems clear now that Kerry was wasting his breath; the sentences were pre-determined, intended as a stark warning to Egyptian and foreign media and as a symbol of the regime's determination to demonstrate its independence of Washington.

 

This is ironic given that, before the talks, the US had made available most of the $575m (£328m) in military aid frozen by Congress after the coup against Morsi. Kerry offered more blandishments in the form of 10 Apache attack helicopters, which he said would be supplied to Egypt "very soon". This is exactly the sort of deadly air power that Iraq's government has pleaded for but has so far been denied by Obama.

 

Kerry must now be asking himself whether it was entirely sensible to offer such diplomatic, financial and military support to Sisi unconditionally before their meeting and before the court announced its verdict. This is not the way hard-headed, worldly-wise American secretaries of state, such as Henry Kissinger, George Shultz and James Baker, would have gone about it. All old Middle East hands, they would surely have driven a tougher bargain. On the other hand, they would all probably have placed America's and Israel's strategic interest in a strong, stable pro-western Egypt above human rights issues. Perhaps this is what Kerry has done, too.

 

Whatever his reasoning, Kerry's record in the region has been similarly uninspiring. He invested considerable personal prestige, time and effort in pursuing resumed peace negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians, to no avail. This failure was entirely predictable, given the personalities involved on both sides and the lack of new ideas.

Artist's rendering of John Kerry after said "humiliating, public slap."

As for US "foreign policy", just how many other ways can one describe a flaming, slow and increasingly faster-motion trainwreck?

 

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Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:04 | 4886036 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Rand would do what he was told to do, just like the rest of them. To think that politicians actually call the shots on these decisions is naive and laughable.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:11 | 4886286 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Rand Paul is a neo-con cum rag for the MIC!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:55 | 4885990 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture

Kerry him out!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:56 | 4885996 ENTP
ENTP's picture

Quick, get some Senators some posterboard and markers so they can make hashtag signs demanding their release.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:56 | 4885997 Cow
Cow's picture

that was John Kerry's photo after his "hockey accident".

Funny how it affected both eyes and not his nose. Go figure

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:59 | 4886008 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Didn't he have his jaw broken in order to look more human?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:56 | 4885999 alfred b.
alfred b.'s picture

 

     ....and this is the guy 'from the free world' also dealing with Moscow?!?!?!?!

     Why not send Gomer Pyle....sorry Gomer!

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:56 | 4886001 adonisdemilo
adonisdemilo's picture

If the Egyptians really had the" freedom of expression " that Kerry and his ilk are so keen on, I'm sure, nay

certain, they would have told him to " fuck off "

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:57 | 4886002 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

The Egyptian militayr already has massive amounts of military hardwre from the DC US and otherwise.

 

Mr. Kerry said that the U.S. had recently released $575 million in assistance for Egypt's military and that he was confident 10 Apache helicopters would be delivered to Egypt soon.

 

So Mr. Kohn gave the DC US MIC another $575 million bone--"Boeing, your EBT card has been topped off."

 

"When it stops making sense, is when it does."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:01 | 4886020 magpie
magpie's picture

Those would have been delivered far earlier with the MB gov...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:12 | 4886071 Freddie
Freddie's picture

The Egyptian and Syrian Army's had the guts to stand up and fight when their country was being taken over. The US Military did nothing.  The US Military, Spec Ops and intel are all like General Betray-Us. Slimy little cowards.

http://www.veteranstoday.com/2014/06/21/how-egyptians-view-muslim-brothe...

Betrayus is a little 5''9" general pussy and coward.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:31 | 4886583 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Why stand up when you can sellout.

 

"They sold out, but they also got free tickets for rides on my guillotine."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:56 | 4887327 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

In disguise, Barry and Reggie ran through the nighttime docks, looking for a hiding spot between the big ships and warehouses....

"I did everything ValJar told me too, Reg. Now the MB and TPTB are after me."

"I know, baby. Look: a dumpster we can hide in! Quick!"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:58 | 4886005 stant
stant's picture

He forgot that your not supposed to talk about fight club. ESP when your a loser

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 12:58 | 4886006 BobTheSlob
BobTheSlob's picture

Can someone please explain to me why we play footsies with countries for which we comprehend little or none of their culture? Yeah, I know...oil. Last I heard these loons traded all their oil for Sphinxes.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:07 | 4886045 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

Oil, certainly, is part of it, but war is a very profitable endeavor for the banksters and MIC, and since they actually make our foreign policy decisions, there's your answer. It's a profit thang.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:00 | 4886014 ilion
ilion's picture

Kerry, go home!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:53 | 4886222 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

I thought you did not want him back !

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:00 | 4886016 MathWins
MathWins's picture

Oh, well, he DID call and register our displeasure at the journalists' sentences, and they DID listened to the phone call, so go ahead and send those helicoptors ASAP.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:04 | 4886039 B2u
B2u's picture

Kerry....Why the long face?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:09 | 4886056 B2u
B2u's picture

ISIS?  SISI?  Someone here has dyslexia?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:31 | 4886585 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

Isis is also the Egyptian Goddess of the Throne...

Babylon :)

These fuckers love their ancient mysteries.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:08 | 4886049 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Barry and his followers - the soccer ball supply for the other world cup.

 

Free kicks for everyone - you can even free kick Moochelle.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:34 | 4886370 NOTfromSanFrancisco
NOTfromSanFrancisco's picture

 

 

"Free kicks for everyone"... For a second there I thought you said, Free kids for everyone!... My bad... Thinking about another scandal...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:08 | 4886052 notadouche
notadouche's picture

I feel bad for journalist, assuming they were journalist and only displaying the courage to investigate and report honestly and fairly as their job would dictate.  

However, perhaps John Kerry and this administration should look in the mirror and consider their own behavior towards journalist before casting aspersions and judging another country's treatment towards journalist and citizens in general.   While this administration hasn't openly jailed journalist they have made it clear that journalist will be wire tapped, followed, intimidated and even subject to one car accidents on a deserted roads if they do not "play ball" in the manner that the administration sees fit.   

At what point does the US government put all of their focus inwardly, on America and the american people?   The taxpayer, the american citizen,  deserve no less than 110% of their elected officials energy, focus, ideas dedicated to the betterment of the 50 states that make up the union, not to mention every single taxpayer dollar dedicated to rebuilding our country.   The notion that the US government tosses around trillions of dollars around the globe without even a second thought as to where the money comes from meanwhile complaining that the american taxpayer isn't giving enough and continues with the tired old mantra of "we need to pay our fair share".  

It amazes me that the party of Kennedy, the camelot and standard to which democrats have identified with since the day he was shot, actually ESCHEWS one of the most repeated and admired phrases from his inaugruation speech in which he emphatically states "...ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country...".   Yet when it comes to politics, these democrats dare not ask half the population to "ask not...."  Apparently that applies only to a select few when it comes to governing the country and campaigning and vote seeking.   

Instead these guys, who came in with "hope and change" platitudes are no different, no better, and in fact actually manage to be worse than their opposing predecessor that they hated to their very core.  I place no blame for anyone voting for the man in 08.  It was a crazy time that appeared to need shaking up.  However, 2 years in, if those people didn't at least start second guessing themselves and to this day openly defend and support this administration then the intellectual dishonesty knows no bounds.  

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:51 | 4887309 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Lurch: Enraged:

"What? You gave them 7 years, Sisiboy? We liquidate them in the US! Here, look at these two stories on Breitbart and Hastings. You guy have to get with the program!"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:09 | 4886054 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

the children this monster is eating clearly are not from good clean stock.

the blood of the kinder seems to be depleted uranium contaminated thus poisoning the gut of this horsey secretary of state.

moral of the story clean food inwards good digestion proper gut health reflected in a normal face outwards.

general electric du is melting the face of the jewish oirish head secretary  of whatever.

pity the children for some are the food supply for this satanic israeli crew.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:09 | 4886055 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Relax. Kerry's sole mission is to make us remember how much better things were during Hillary's tenure as Secretary of State.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:09 | 4886057 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Lurch could always find a job  with a remake of the Adams Family.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:17 | 4886061 news printer
news printer's picture

John Forbes Kerry Heinz

http://youtu.be/cMRgv11fIjA?t=13s

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:10 | 4886064 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

It's a House Of Cards

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:12 | 4886070 starman
starman's picture

In the mean time 99.9% of the Christan churches are burned and luted in Egypt!  So that makes the USA a muslim sympathyzer corporation! Nice move Obama fukkers!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:15 | 4886088 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Wow, they play lute while it burns? How enchanting yet sociopathic and horrific.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:01 | 4886251 Seeking Aphids
Seeking Aphids's picture

Nero would be proud..... 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:14 | 4886079 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Secretariat of State, horsing around at foreign policy.

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:16 | 4886090 Little John
Little John's picture

Does Kerry remind anyone else of the cartoon charactor Clutch Cargo, or is it just me?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:48 | 4886207 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

His mother held him by the tip of the nose and dipped the rest of his face in botox.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:16 | 4886095 sbenard
sbenard's picture

Secretary of State Herman Munster!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:31 | 4886154 DirkDiggler11
DirkDiggler11's picture

Truly a classic !

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:18 | 4886104 Racer
Racer's picture

"upholding the universal rights and freedoms of all Egyptians, including freedom of expression, peaceful assembly and association"

Those same rights and freedoms do not apply to the US people and anyone else in the world!


Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:20 | 4886108 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Someone needs to throw a horse shoe at him

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:23 | 4886125 asking4it2k
asking4it2k's picture

LURCH !!...! STOP FLYING AROUND WASTING MY TAX DOLLARS !!!!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:28 | 4886570 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Lurch is much hotter. Euuuuuughhuhuhuhuhuh!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:23 | 4886130 mtndds
mtndds's picture

Everytime I see his picture I think of what someone on this board said " He is a haircut looking for a brain."  Makes me laugh everytime.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:25 | 4886136 FishHockers
FishHockers's picture

Why the long face Seabiscut, someone give him a bag of oats.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:43 | 4886187 kellycriterion
kellycriterion's picture

Kerry to Egyptian military in private: "See our Crime Syndicate Feudalism is in the pandering, pacification mode. When we run low on funds we will rely mostly on force as well. Until then we still must put up a front. No offense, right?"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:44 | 4886195 BGO
BGO's picture

Poor John Kohn. Poor, poor John Kohn.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:46 | 4886206 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

Is there anyone in DC doing anything for the American people or should we just rename the "U.S. Government" the "Government of the World"?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:29 | 4886867 hootowl
hootowl's picture

The U.S. Government declared war on the American People on November 23, 1963.

A coup was accomplished using the institutions and miniions of the U.S. government by the federal money counterfeiters.  JFK was not the first U.S. President to go down under bullets paid for by the international banksters.

Now that he has become worthless, you can look for Ovomit to be martyred soon.

Long live King Biden and his bed-boy Juan Oboehner.

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:47 | 4887291 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

I, too, suspect Bath House may now be.....expendable.

Mooch could be the new Coretta Scott King!

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 02:06 | 4888404 Sorry_about_Dresden
Sorry_about_Dresden's picture

Look at this picture of Nixon, Prescott Bush and Jack Ruby and try and tell me it wasn't a conspiracy! H.W. Bush, while a CIA spook, offed Kennedy.

 

https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=webhp&tbm=isch&source=hp&ei=qhK...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:48 | 4886208 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

http://stevengoddard.wordpress.com/2014/06/23/noaa-and-nasa-data-alterat...

 

Off topic but holy shit NOAA has been changing past data to make case for warming..   Lets just hope its peer reviewed by other liars. .sarc for Flaks sake..

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:53 | 4886220 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

Too bad it wasn't:

America's dead-horse-faced secretary John Q. Kerry was sentenced to seven years in jail by an Egyptian judge on Monday for aiding a "terrorist organization".

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:21 | 4886840 hootowl
hootowl's picture

............and list Ovomit as an unindicted co-conspirator.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 13:55 | 4886227 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

As if being a "kept man" his entire adult life isn't humiliating enough. When I think of Kerry, I think of what my ADI said to me at Parris Island in 1969.

"Laddie Buck, I wouldn't follow you into a whorehouse."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:52 | 4887313 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Did you ask him "Because of my big dick and your little one?"

ADI's love funny jokes.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:03 | 4886260 22winmag
22winmag's picture

You can pin purple hearts on a horse, but it's still just a horse.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:10 | 4886266 Government need...
Government needs you to pay taxes's picture

Kerry's fussing over the 7 year sentences?  How much would the US give Snowden, if they granted him due process and put him on trial?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:11 | 4886268 suteibu
suteibu's picture

"Kerry's record in the region has been similarly uninspiring. He invested considerable personal prestige...."

Kerry has considerable personal prestige?  Who knew?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:15 | 4886302 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Well, considering that his household's total income tax was 11%. (on a several billion dollar fortune, as disclosed in the 2004 presidential primary campaign)

sarc: It is obvious it is his reputation -- and not his money -- that will turn this around.

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:14 | 4886296 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Goes to show you can be wealthy and that doesn't remove stink.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:27 | 4886349 NOTfromSanFrancisco
NOTfromSanFrancisco's picture

 

 

"Wealthy" also does not remove ignorance and the stink of evil... But then, I just repeated your post...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:19 | 4886321 wet_nurse
wet_nurse's picture

I remember fondly the good old days when Israili settlements were the biggest Mideast headache.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:24 | 4886337 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Just because you are part of the fascist oligarchy doesn't mean you are smart...but then, guess you don't need to be.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:35 | 4886375 pcrs
pcrs's picture

What a horror show. Zombie visiting the middle east. He better play golf like Obama.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:41 | 4886392 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Kerry should have brought Biden's boy with him - he's an expert on the area. 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:42 | 4886400 ebear
ebear's picture

"I am confident…that the Apaches will come and that they will come very, very soon."

Followed by the Blackfoot, Sioux and Cheyenne!


Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:47 | 4886416 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Lyrics by Steven Sondheim:

Isn't it rich? Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground and you in mid-air
Send in the clowns

Isn't it bliss? Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around and one who can't move
But where are the clowns? Send in the clowns

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:52 | 4886431 Watchingtheweasels
Watchingtheweasels's picture

Seven years in prison. Interesting. I wonder how long a secret American court would have disappeared Edward Snowden for if he hadn't fled the country. I bet it would be a lot longer than that. An unintended consequence of Obama's war against American exceptionslism is that you recognize the tyrant next door first.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:00 | 4886475 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Kerry flies 6,000 miles to say "Gee Whiz....." 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:04 | 4886491 Puncher75
Puncher75's picture

This is a guy who wrote HIMSELF up for 3 Purple Hearts on his faux 3-month Viet Nam deployment and also brought his own video camera to film himself at the time, purely in anticipation of a future political career.  He is a total shyster and fraud. 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:17 | 4886819 hootowl
hootowl's picture

One of the foremost of the eletist/faux Hebrew Decepticons.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:20 | 4886541 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

How many Apache Helicopters can a yacht hold?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:35 | 4886596 JohnFrodo
JohnFrodo's picture

Its all Kabuki theater. The fix is in. I can not believe the talking point that ISIS is so bad that Al Queda kicked them out is said with a straight face. This goes with the throwing babies out of incubators for an appeal to the lizard brain. Chances are the same folks are behind the script.

http://thinkingaboot.blogspot.ca/2014/06/middle-east-explanation.html

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:36 | 4886606 JohnFrodo
JohnFrodo's picture

How can we call Helicopters Apache! Thats racist in my world view!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:16 | 4886810 hootowl
hootowl's picture

Apache????!!!! This is sooooo insulting!!!   Where is the patent and trademark office when we need them.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:55 | 4886714 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

As the lies and scandals are exposed and the wheels come of the train....more and more stupidty to hold this wet sack of shit together will become more obvious.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:56 | 4886721 HamRove
HamRove's picture

Kerry played a game of front hand/back hand.....He asked for both and got it.

Ahh Kerry, he's worth every dime of the taxpayer's money. 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:11 | 4886788 falconflight
falconflight's picture

Does it really matter in that I would bet a months pay that no more than 10% of the US population could even name the US Secretary of State.  Probably no more than 10% could name said entity as a department within the federal government.  An ignorant public gets what's coming to it.  I'm just sorry that I and my family will have to suffer due to such willful ignorance.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 20:16 | 4887626 MrButtoMcFarty
MrButtoMcFarty's picture

America is going to reap exactly what we have sown....good and hard....

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:18 | 4886826 falconflight
falconflight's picture

First Obama's gov't openly supports the Muslim Brotherhood's revolution, then openly chastises the Military's counter-revolution, and now Obama's gov't via this sociopathic cretin supports the new strongman.  Why would any gov't trust anything coming from such a third rate bunch of punks, except that they have control over thousands of nuclear tipped missiles.  

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:21 | 4886836 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

USSA Foreign Policy has devolved to a Big Stick -
ever since Kerry ate the carrot...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:43 | 4886925 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

ugly tree

"The species of flora from which ugly people come"

"Look at that whore she musta fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch and twig on the way down, smacked her head on the ugly rocks, got mauled by the ugly bear, dragged through the ugly forest, tossed in the ugly river and floated out towards the ugly sea"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:45 | 4886935 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Frankie, I know you thought what you saw was him er, eating the carrot, but, uh, this is an Obama administration. He is pretty ugly (dare I say butt ugly) and I see how you made the mistake, I really do but, uh...

[Gosh I just don't know how to break it to Frankie, this is so embarassing, can someone help me here]...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:33 | 4887244 Bugsquasher
Bugsquasher's picture
  • Ever since Reggie Love used the carrot as Obama's butt plug.

There fixed it for you.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:22 | 4886842 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Domino's Pizza NOID Commercial 1987 "The Dome of Quality"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j696bHtrYTM (0:29)

Dominos Pizza - Avoid the Noid ad from 1988
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bri0SA7FTf4 (0:30)

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:24 | 4886851 eclipse001
eclipse001's picture

No surprise here John, you can't buy your friends in Egypt as easily as you can buy them in D.C.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:31 | 4886876 Joe Tierney
Joe Tierney's picture

Kerry's motto on diplomacy is, I raise my tail and let the gas blow - sometimes things get more hot and steamy - but I stood in the room and pushed my agenda - so the shovel is in their court.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:35 | 4886892 Loose Caboose
Loose Caboose's picture

To be honest it's too easy for him to be a horse's ass.  All he has to do is turn around.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:36 | 4886898 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Spaceballs - PIZZA THE HUT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33n-IS8a1S4 (1:33)

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:36 | 4886900 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

I'm embarassed and humiliated that a shitstick like this is the diplomacy face of my country. He's actually starting to make Hillary look good. OK, maybe not.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:08 | 4887021 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

You still think it's your country?! Whatever gave you that idea?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:13 | 4887209 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

FUCK no.

Lurch...Mister throw someone else's medals in sissy protest ....Mister Married Rich Skullfucker and Bones douche, is the male equivalent of Cuntalry...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:37 | 4886901 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Lower his doseage.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:54 | 4886962 SameAsItEverWas
SameAsItEverWas's picture

John Kerry came, saw and as usual made a horse ass out of himself.

                                                           an ass

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:56 | 4886974 Fishhawk
Fishhawk's picture

Is it possible that the US (foreign policy dicks) actually agree that Egypt should send a strong message to Qatar, and thus that they are supportive of efforts to suppress Al Jazeera, and that Horsey just made that statement so the US could look weak and stupid, and the military regime in Egypt could pretend that they aren't cooperating with the US?  Just a thought, as the US is supporting the junta, to the tune of $575M and a dozen helos... whereas talk is cheap, and journalists not under our control are enemies.  Remember if all the markets are rigged, perhaps all our news is rigged too.   Hmmmm 

Fishhawk

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:15 | 4887051 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

Al Sisi is from a Jewish family. The muslim brotherhood wanted to send the Egyptian army to fight Syria which, just guessing did not go over too well with the army. Sisi stepped in with full endorsement of Israel to calm things down.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:28 | 4887091 kurt
kurt's picture

Conclusion:

Takeover of Al Jezera must be complete and it is entirely infiltrated and under control. Therefore it is a slap in the face. Remember a few years ago we were unhappy with Al Jezera?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:31 | 4887099 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

To be fair, Al Jazeera journalists may deserve to be imprisoned if for no other reason that sub-par media content. And while we're at it, let's throw in an equal share of Fox and CNN journo's and the entire staff of MSNBC.

 

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 07:07 | 4888568 conscious being
conscious being's picture

Al Jazeera (Arabic: ???????‎ al-?az?rah IPA: [æl d?æ?zi?r?], literally "The Island", abbreviating "The [Arabian] Peninsula"), also known as  and  (Jazeera Satellite Channel), is aDoha based broadcaster owned by the Al Jazeera Media Network, which is funded by the House of Thani, the ruling family of Qatar.[2

Aljazeera had great coverage of the Mavi Mamara flotila attack and Operation Cast Lead in Gaza.  Aljazera's problems have to do with the fact thst they are a Qatari company.  Qatar had fallen out of favor with anti-Syria coalition after the emir stepped down and his son took over.  Qatar may put a gas pipe under the Persian Gulf to Iran.  Qatar does not need the Syrian war.

So, in recent succesion, 2022 World Cup to take place in Qatar is thrown into doubt.  USA imposes trade sactions related to immigrant labor safety.  And now their reporters get 7 years in an Egyptian jail.

Probably taking some unseen shots behind the scenes as well.

Lurch's part in this is all theater.

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:34 | 4887104 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

back door deal, 1million bottles Hienze 57 Ketsup.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:39 | 4887259 Pie rre
Pie rre's picture

Military aid for the builders of the weapons mre likely.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:12 | 4887208 Armed Resistance
Armed Resistance's picture

Imagine you are at a party, and in the door walks somebody you have despised for years.  The guy is arrogantly offensive and when he's not re-dousing himself in cologne, he's telling lie after lie about all of the girls he's been banging lately and how he's killing the market.  Eyes dart around the room and everybody who's pained to witness this grandstanding piece of shit knows that every word coming out of his mouth are absolute lies.

It didn't have to be this way.  He was the high school quarterback and had the world by the balls if he just kept his head on straight.  But a little blow led to a symphony of destruction and somewhere between steroids and the combover was a life of miss-steps and best intentions.  Now he's the backroom joke, the guy left off of the invitation list who keeps re-inviting himself in overt and humiliating drive-by's where nobody has the guts yet to tell him he's uninvited.

We all know him and feel sorry for him.  His name- USA

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:40 | 4887264 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Gee, too bad he does not support these same ideals for the US.

Fucking Lurch.

"Willllburrr!"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:47 | 4887292 Central Ohio
Central Ohio's picture

Mr. Kerry has a warped few of our republic and the Constitution.  If he can't make sense of of those 2 things, it is no suprise he is worthless dealing with those that don't believe in the freedoms we (try) to have.  He has no rudder or brain.

People still vote for the guy though?

Wed, 06/25/2014 - 01:47 | 4892218 BearOfNH
BearOfNH's picture

Why the hell is Kerry doing all this in the first place? Does he really think being on camera so much -- while accomplishing so little -- is gonna help him get nominated for Prez in in 2016? BS. I just don't see what he gets out of it and frankly, I think he should get out of it. Let 0bama appoint a Republican (if he can find one willing) so in a couple of yahren the Dems can quietly blame everything on a Republican. At that point, 0 can take one for the team, confessing to "bad judgement in appointing a Republican", since he's not gonna be running for anything any more.

Fortunately, the Dems don't have the sense to do that. At least not until after November of his year.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 19:03 | 4887343 Runs-With_Toast
Runs-With_Toast's picture

US policy has fallen apart with Poland too. ' Polish Foreign Minister, Radoslaw Sikorski, has proven his “political realism” by comparing his country’s relations with the US to unrewarding oral sex, the Russian Foreign ministry commented'

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 07:03 | 4888587 conscious being
conscious being's picture

He said something like the people running Polish foreign policy were going to get them in a war with Russia and/ or Germany and all they will get from the Americans (presumably when they call up DC for help with their situation) is a "thanks for the blowjob".

Congadulations to the truth talking Polish guy.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 19:04 | 4887345 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Give Kerry a apple,then throw his ass back into the boxing ring. We still have 8 rounds to go. 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 19:24 | 4887411 d edwards
d edwards's picture

Horse face, horse's ass: it just makes sense.

 

What? He couldn't get the ISis sunni's to come together and sing Kum-by-ya with the shi'ites? Amazing.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 19:44 | 4887480 MrTouchdown
MrTouchdown's picture

He just needs his swift boat back and then everything will be fine.

Obummer will make it illegal to have a different opinion and all will be well.

Hitlery will finally stop being so damn poor all the time and the ME will be ok.

 

I said it three times! It must be true.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 19:56 | 4887537 Vargs_until
Vargs_until's picture

Re: ISIL.

You know what? The Brits learned this in the 19th Century, but they've forgotten it. The Yanks never learned it. However powerful you might be, militarily or economically, you *never* ride roughshed. Ever. 

People are proud. However little they have to be proud about, they still are proud. You may have nukes, the courts, the boots on the ground, the press, the airforce, and the navy. Everything. They will still fight you. And nobody, however powerful, can fight everyone.

Britain was the hegemonic superpower in the 18th and 19th centuries. We were humbled by the dumb Dutch farmers of South Africa, just like America has been humbled by the dumb farmers of Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. But that wasn't the end of it. What destroyed Britain was the First World War which bankrupted it. Then the US saw its chance and has spent the next 100 years crushing the UK into the dirt. Now UK Prime Ministers are cock-sucking whores of successive Presidents (all except Obama who doesn't need his cock sucked by jaded prostitutes (he has the Polish Government to do that)).

The US isn't down, but it has its WWI experience to come -- probably with China, or perhaps Russia -- the 21st Century versions of the Kaiser's Germany. History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme -- as ZH is fond of pointing out.

Welcome to the scrap heap. It takes decades to adjust from being the alpha male to being the also-ran. Ask any Englishman how that feels. God bless America. You'll need it.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 20:47 | 4887718 3rd Pig
3rd Pig's picture

 

The Phone Call

US Sec.  John Kerry: Hey you... I’m seriously displeased here!

Minister Shukri: Come on John, don’t be like that. I give you twenty thousand Camels for those Apaches...

US Sec. John Kerry: Uuuummm.....? Okay I’ll take the cigarettes....

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 21:00 | 4887765 pakled
pakled's picture

Boy, that Stacy Keibler sure is popular...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 21:12 | 4887805 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Shocked and "Ahh; duh." sounds more like it.  ...IF You believe this poorly acted farce.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 21:28 | 4887858 Rootin' for Putin
Rootin' for Putin's picture

Why does it seem no one takes a US politicians word seriously anymore?

 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 21:35 | 4887879 Bernankenstein
Bernankenstein's picture

At least he won the Triple Clown. 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 23:05 | 4888116 jack stephan
jack stephan's picture

What monstrosities and grotesque smiegels we parade around. We probably got a bearded lady laying around, some new current whore of Babylon this week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdbLqOXmJ04&sns=em

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 05:05 | 4888500 damicol
damicol's picture

Sammy shooking  had a beautific smile on his face after the meeting.

Kurry was wiping the jizz from his chin after performing a masterful BJ.

 One bright spot, it wasnt the camel cunt hilarious clit that was  over there

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