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Germany Wins

Tyler Durden's picture




 

After Germany's thrashing of the host nation in the semi-final, today's final World Cup game was largely a formality and even Goldman predicted a German victory. Sure enough, following some preliminary planning...

 

... Yet another Super Mario Götze's kicked the winning goal in overtime...

 

Leading to much happiness for the target of endless NSA and CIA spying.

Congratulations Germany.

As for Argentina, it now has a 30-day grace period in which to score a goal. Too bad it will likely default first.

 

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Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:31 | 4953725 Colonel Klink
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Danke DCRB

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:06 | 4953641 virgilcaine
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Watching Grown Male Argentines crying on Tv was worth it for me!

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 20:40 | 4953894 deflator
deflator's picture

everybody was crying....even Angela Merkel...

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 06:04 | 4954753 Lore
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Am I the only one who finds those emotional displays creepy?  You could even see religious fans PRAYING. 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:12 | 4953664 NoWayJose
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Pretty amazing goal - stop the ball with your chest, get control of it while twisting your body toward the goal, and then kick it hard and on target BEFORE the ball hits the ground. It will take something similar from Mr Draghi to save the EU.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:12 | 4953666 syntaxterror
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After the first round, this world cup went to shit...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:17 | 4953690 NoWayJose
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Quick - someone tell the CIA and NSA that the spike in German cell phone messages and the intercepts of videos of Germans jumping up and down and shouting - are NOT the start of WWIII.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:20 | 4953697 d edwards
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Yaaawwwwnnn. zzzzzzz....

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:19 | 4953696 q99x2
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Long live the father land and the super Mexican. We will come rejoicing bringing in the thieves.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:21 | 4953707 NoWayJose
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Better turn those gold medals over and check for swastikas and Nazi serial numbers...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:23 | 4953708 Steroid
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Orbán is listening!

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:26 | 4953713 Kirk2NCC1701
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The 2018 World Cup is (scheduled to be) in Russia -- USSA permiting.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:57 | 4953717 Louie the Dog
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Germany       World Cups 4-16.  World Wars 0-2

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 04:22 | 4954704 Otrader
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Instead of world wars, they now make the Audi R8/Lamborghini Gallardo.  Beautiful machines.

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 07:12 | 4954796 samcontrol
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"they make Lamborghinis"...SANT'AGATA idiot.
yep and apple computers are made in Wisconsin.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:46 | 4953768 walküre
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Germany wins World Cup.

Lots of chatter between Germany, Russia and China.

WW3 is next

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:57 | 4953791 RaceToTheBottom
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"today's final World Cup game was largely a formality "

Yep, overtime games that end one to zero are largely blowouts

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 20:05 | 4953806 mendigo
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Was a great game

I thought the officiating was a little spotty.
That first yellow card was pretty funny.
Argentina played well.
I sensed the worldcup is somewhat rigged - oficiating is too key and too easy rig.Had all the integrity of lucha libre at times.
In the end germany overcame a lot for a well deserved win.
Pretty cool to see merle and putin there.
Still...
What happen to Brazil?
What happened to Messi?
Holland should be proud as well.

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 06:50 | 4954780 samcontrol
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Mendigo.

The officials are SHIT/cheating at ALL world cups.

What happen to Brasil.....?

with just 3 or 4 world class players just to much pressure and competition.
Even the refs couldn't help them out that many games.
What happened to Messi ? Any guy that has to do with his physical training especially in Barca or la selección should be immediately fired and hung.

Holand and are a bunch of cold chested wimps that will never win the World Cup.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 20:28 | 4953854 palmereldritch
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It was a Boys in Brazil final to remember

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 20:37 | 4953888 deflator
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jus' 'sayin...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 20:41 | 4953901 Who was that ma...
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Who cares?  It's a game people, a kid's game.  There's a field with a goal at each end and if you kick the ball into the other guy's goal.....   You WIN!  So?  Big fucking deal.  Whoop de doo!  I can't think of anything more boring.  People who think games like soccer have the slightest meaning or importance in the real world are all fucking pantload morons and need to go home and get their diapers changed.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 20:53 | 4953928 deflator
deflator's picture

isn't everything a "game"...jus sayin..bitchez...

 Why would you want to(or to think that you have the nutsack to think that you can) marginalize the worlds greatest sport?

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 21:15 | 4954007 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

Sure, you can say that "everything's a game" if you want but some of those "games" actually RELATE to our own personal lives or the lives of our families.  For a supposedly grown man to get all weird over a kid's game played thousands of miles away by no one they even know, that guy has got to lead a life so boring, so tedious, so empty, and so totally pointless, he simply has nothing else.  Is that you or what?

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 21:26 | 4954038 deflator
deflator's picture

A person that has raised multiples of sons and daughters from multiples of wives is not going to lead a pointless life... it is impossible. Weird as that may seem to you...

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 06:02 | 4954754 Lore
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By analogy, consider the meaningfulness of the life of a fruit fly capable of laying 500 fertilized eggs.

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 00:10 | 4954514 Kelley
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Who said anything about the NFL? 

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 04:16 | 4954701 Otrader
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Does anyone go outside anymore?  Getting booooz and chips for the game doesn't count. /sarc

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 00:08 | 4954510 Kelley
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Let me correct your spelling for you:

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNG!!!!!!!!"

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 22:39 | 4954085 deflator
deflator's picture

Sure, you can say that "everything's a game" if you want but some of those "games" actually RELATE to our own personal lives or the lives of our families. 

 Did you not see all of those tears flowing from the faces of both adults and especially the children of both the winners and the losers?

I guess not! You would have actually have had to have procreated and have some sensibility to interpret tears sir!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfXhxLSipu4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mrd6Fo3qcuo


Sun, 07/13/2014 - 21:39 | 4954091 kurt
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Wow! It's like they are a super-race or something.

I should know.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 22:51 | 4954318 flacorps
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They're still zero for two at their national sport. But this could give them ideas.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 23:00 | 4954350 Otto Zitte
Sun, 07/13/2014 - 23:03 | 4954369 mister0_1
mister0_1's picture

I thought Philip Seymour Hoffman was dead.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 23:40 | 4954452 TeethVillage88s
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Untold Story:

Tripartism in Germany.

Partnership between Unions (workers), Government & Corporations to preserve Jobs, salaries, hours, benefits, and training.

What you probably don't know is that Corporations have Travel Offices and offer Travel Discounts to go with the Permissive and Lucrative German Worker Vacation Time. Plenty of days off and discount train travels, tips to all over the Mediterranean & Egypt & Turkey, and Spanish Islands, and Asia, and... South America.

That is what USA Competes Against.

-Worker and government agreements for training and job Retention in Germany.

-Special Discounts on Travel.

-And Government Loan Guarantees for New Technology, free of interest or payments for 5 Years to allow the company to prove the technology and establish it's Benchmarks. (Bio-Fuel & Alcohol Stills for fuel)

-Nice Vacation Time

-Apprenticeships

-Language Training if you don't speak German

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 00:06 | 4954502 Kelley
Kelley's picture

One goal in 118 minutes??

We need an announcer who screams every time no one scores which is all the time:

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNG!!!!!!!!"

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 04:13 | 4954700 Otrader
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From the Simpsons  - 36 second clip, Homer as Referee:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wraSaAdl6I

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 07:01 | 4954788 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

you don,t understand the game.and have no feeling for it. go back to cheeseburgers and your national passtimes.

. a good tackle is a goal , a save is a goal, An outstanding piece of acting is a goal, an elbow to the nose is a goal, broken bones are goal, some consider ten passes in a row a goal, and if you want to see the ball go pass the lines. I'm sure you can see the record braking number of goals on line.
At least half a dozen where fenomenall.out of my head... the australian guy, van Persi header against Spain, James for Colombia, the last German goal against Brasil out. of this world,, unless you can do that with your wrong foot.... and I'm French living in Argentina. Germany always defeats both...but beauty is beauty but hey you can go and enjoy willy catching the ball over his shoulder.

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 07:04 | 4954791 samcontrol
samcontrol's picture

and by the way when you get a 1-0 victory in the World Series , you guys call it a " pitchers duel " and convert a boring shit game into beauty.be fair..

and let's not even talk about the perfect game...lol

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 11:45 | 4955593 Canucklehead
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You can watch that stuff when your kids play.  At the pro level, it's boring....

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 08:14 | 4954896 fiboman
fiboman's picture

lame....

 

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